Hey guys!! Yeah so I'm going to start writing in the marching band department as well, starting with this. My friends Melanie, Amanda, and I wrote this. I wrote most of this 'cept for the indicated ones and Melanie made a few comments on some. Oh Melanie and I are working on this marching band fanfic based on our lives at school so expect to see that sometime soon. Enjoy! Oh and we dedicate a good fraction of this to our awesome band teacher: Scott Condne (mostly cuz a lot of this is about him lol).
Do I really need a disclaimer?
Band is…
- being able to be late to band w/o getting in trouble
- 75 of the band has your director's cell number
- calling your director on the Cedar Point trip just to bug the crap out of him
- over-competitive flutes (MEL: way over-competitive)
- family away from your family
- watching high school musical a bajillion times during the free week after festival
- your director spending $100 on pizza and pop for the whole band for getting straight 1s at festival
- getting straight 1s at festival and acting like spazzes because you're excited
- getting up at 6am for your 8:30am Solo & Ensemble performance (MEL: 8:24am, in my case)
- being pulled from class just to get ready for pep assemblies
- getting up at 8am to get ready for you 3pm festival performance (on a Saturday)
- being able to call your director your friend instead of your teacher
- your director acting like he's a rock star
- said director thinking he's still 15 when he's really 35
- going in to band on the first day, seeing your director's new blonde highlights on his black-ish hair and saying "what the heck did you do to your hair?!"
- trumpets thinking they're the best (MEL: LIES:)
- said trumpets thinking they rule the world (MEL: they wish)
- flute choirs
- one word: vuderschnicle!
- having your director buy pizza for the 9 band people who played in full orchestra
- eating said pizza till 5 on Friday just hanging out with your director
- taunting your director because he's never had a taco in his life (MEL: which is okay, since in my opinion, they're pretty nasty anyways)
- no homework
- no tests
- no stupid exams
- festival in general
- Solo & Ensemble
- Cedar Point trips (MEL: Joe and Taylor…grr…) (MIA: just so's you all know, Joe is Mel's boyfriend)
- annoying-as-heck percussionists
- watching West Side Story with a sub that looks like a monkey and smells like a fish
- having an OCD director
- having to clean the music tech lab for no apparent reason other than your director told you to (MEL: and because he's OCD)
- finding harmful bacteria in the band room sink (MIA: ewww!)
- eating lunch in the tuba lockers
- going in the tuba lockers, coming out, and pretending you've entered another dimension
- doing the cancan in the band locker room
- playing "HUH!" really obnoxiously just to annoy your director
- singing the Christmas song your director wrote at the top of your lungs in band
- and geometry class
- and the hallway
- while people give you crazy looks
- playing the cd you, the other 15 people in music tech, and your director made in the music tech class
- did I mention it's a Christmas cd??
- and you still play it in June just to hear your song
- making up stupid insiders at sectionals
- checking out your director's myspace, website, and livejournal
- many times
- being grossed out that your director's girlfriend is 22
- while he's 35
- you do the math
- skipping school to go to marching band rehearsal for homecoming
- insulting you band director to his face
- then he insults you back
- plotting against a fellow flutist w/ your band director for the fun of it
- finding out your director and your sister plotted against you for no apparent reason
- by putting a fake eyeball in your case
- flinging those flying animals across the room
- and it hits your director
- giving your director a really girly castle that says "Princess Scotty" on it
- when he asks why you didn't put "King Condne" instead, you say it's funnier this way
- and he still has the said castle on display in his office
- telling your director that Bon Jovi's real name is Bojan Jovic (Serbian name)
- when he's majorly obsessed with Bon Jovi
- never dating someone outside of band
- 95 of your friends are band geeks too
- hearing stupid stories from your director about when he was younger
- making fun of your friend and her school band because their uniforms make them look like penguins
- waiter penguins
- memorizing the cadence perfectly
- even though you're not a percussionist
- naming your instrument
- looking like a Popsicle in your red and white marching uniform at homecoming
- knowing so much about your director that you could write a book on his life story
- then telling your geometry teacher
- who gets freaked out
- bragging when you get first chair
- throwing a fit when you don't
- and then getting mad at your director when he won't let you challenge the first chair
- finding a picture of Bon Jovi and pasting your director's head on and calling it "Con Jovi"
- then saying your gonna make t-shirts for the whole band to wear at cedar point with that picture on it
- using your flute or clarinet as a sword and you "fence" with your friends
- having your director play the percussion parts because the percussionist don't have the attention span to do so themselves
- using your director as your celebrity for the celebrity project for English
- and the English sub says yes to the above because you tell her he thinks he's a rock star
- watching Daddy Day Care on free days
- playing poker and bs in the band locker room while watching A Muppets Christmas Carol
- stacking your legs on top of one another while you and your friends are sitting in a circle on free days
- singing random songs obnoxiously loud in different octaves while doing the aforementioned on said free days
- staying after school the day of homecoming, walking to 711, and scarfing down a whole pizza with your friends
- drawing yourself in the center of the focus bubble and drawing the rest of your friends on the other board
- on the other side of the room
- taking Joe's pen drive
- then giving it to Ted
- then getting it back from Ted
- finally giving it to Jeff
- who keeps it for many days
- being a so-called "bread racist"
- and your friends never letting you forget it
- sliding on the band room floor
- even though you know it hasn't been properly cleaned in years
- doing stupid horn movements during the parts you don't play in the marching music because your director told you to
- figuring out the Mission Impossible theme on your flute
- driving everyone bananas with your obnoxious piccolo playing
- even though the judges at festival said on the sheets "nice to hear a well-played piccolo!"
- speaking of bananas, you and your friends make up a song about this guy you know who you all call banana man
- and you sing the song straight to his face
- which he takes as an insult
- you hate your director
- and yet he can be your favorite teacher at the same time (rarely but hey even Condne has his moments)
- your director is completely obsessed w/ Bon Jovi
- tries to look and sing like him
- ah heck he tries to BE Bon Jovi
- he even named his dog Jovi
- you think marching band should be considered a sport because you do more physical work than the football players (MEL: but not XC runners! They're buff x 10)
- you try to get marching band considered a sport
- even though it probably never will be
- and yet you still try
- trying to get through the locked gates to get to the band room to get a very important part of your global issues project
- which is due tomorrow
- first hour
- and you fail to get through said gates
- playing the same stupid song over and over again
- constantly humming you band music
- finding the professional recording on the internet
- and playing along with it to practice
- you know another section's part better than you know your own part
- watching Amanda and Steve fight like crazy daily
- laughing when neither wins
- making a rollcall for you and your friends to the tune of BINGO
- no seriously it's the song BINGO (letters and all)
- two words: BRITSH ACCENTS
- threatening each other with stands
- falling off your chair
- hearing from your director how much your band sucks and that the younger band is better than your guys six times a day
- and he never actually means it
- stealing your director's Pringles
- even when he hides them and tells you not to take any
- he treats your friend like a dog by bribing her with cookies (haha Amanda)
- AND he has a drawer full of Twinkies in his desk
- you consider the band room your home away from home
- or at the very least your favorite room at school
- selling cookie dough for band
- then winning those fuzzy flying frogs (as previously mentioned) and flinging them at you director (WHEEEE!!)
MEL - proving it possible that a person can wear a parachute (aka band shirts)
MEL - getting a sample of the bacteria on the band room floor for science
MEL - having "someone" ask you if you need help carrying a music stand, even though you're perfectly capable, and he knows it, cuz heck, you can do a chin-up! (Mel got mad at Joe cuz she's buff! lol)
MEL - skipping sectionals for XC practice (oops!) hmm, you're probably going to erase this one, aren't you:
MEL – staying for the homecoming game, even though you don't understand football, and have no interest in it whatsoever
AMANDA – never-ending tune time!
AMANDA – listen to director's and Steve's arguments director wins
AMANDA – not knowing who the director is pointing at since he uses his "rock" fingers insert really bad drawingleading to CONFUSION!!
AMANDA – having dumb jokes named after you (Ex- Jill! You just pulled an "Amanda!") grr…
- never knowing who the director's talking to because he says "you" instead of names
- singing and dancing to "Dancing Queen" because your director accidentally put that on the speakers instead of the professional recording of Solara
- both of which are on his iPod
- and then you boo him when he stops the "Dancing Queen" party that HE started
- declaring the little 7th grader who you march next to "your little minion"
- staying after school four days a week for four different band rehearsals for the same concert
- inventing random words at sectionals
- sectionals in general
- having yourself and four of your friends frantically calling the radio station trying to get your director's song on the radio
- each of you on a separate cell phone
Well? Good? Bad? It's just a bunch of insiders from the DJH Marching/Concert Band. R&R and tell us if we should think of more!
-Mia