It was a typical day at the Assholeger Base. Wat was angrily ranting about Evangelion to S.A.M.U.E.L., the Assholeger Base's control A.I. Flutter was watching Monster Musume on a TV screen in The Ocean, the Base's luxury pool, which Flutter lived in because she's a fish or some gay shit. Mrmeatman was making videos for his alter ego, video game dunkey. Rikafag was fapping to the prequels. Toolman was watching The Santa Clause. GuitarSkater was locked up in the dungeon. Kenny and Naddy were dead. GawsHawg was in Wat's closet, where he stayed despite being kicked out. And Retro was giving a blowjob to some random alien futa he picked up on Jupiter.
All of a sudden, the alarm went off.
"Um, I'm detecting some strange activity in Purple's sex dungeon. You must sortie immediately!" S.A.M.U.E.L. said over the intercom.
Retro took his mouth off the dick. "yeah, we all know what he does down there Sam. Now fuck off, I'm busy."
"No, Red, it's not him. I'm detecting some sort of tear. Likely a crossing between dimensions."
Retro sighed. "Well baby looks like I gotta take care of this. I'll be back." Retro winked and then wrapped her arm around her partner and kissed her. With her other hand, Retro unexpectedly grabbed the futa's dick, causing her to cum. Retro looked down. "Oh. Oops, heh heh."
Retro walkied into the control room where Wat was already sitting.
"Oh, hey," said Wat. "The Fag's here." Wat glanced at Retro. "God dammit Retro put on some fucking pants." Retro was wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties. "And what the fuck is on your leg?"
Retro reached down and wiped a glob of cum off her leg. "Oh," she said. She stuck her fingers in her mouth. "mmmmmmmmm" she made a face of ecstasy.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, you fag?" asked Wat. "You're getting turned on by writing this aren't you.
"Maybe," replied Retro.
Flutter walked in, already in Ranger form, as she could not walk on land otherwise.
"Why the fuck is the fishfucker here?" said Wat.
"So we can have a hot threesome, obviously" Retro muttered under her breath.
"Shouldn't you be meeting us down there through you aqueducts that run throughout the base?" said Wat.
"I don't have aqueducts to the sex dungeon dumbass," said Flutter.
"So is anyone else actually comi-" As Retro spoke, mrmeatman walked through the door.
"Hi guys, I'm WattheWut"
"Oh, OK" said Retro. "Well since everyone who actually shows up is here, let's go."
The Assholegers loaded into the rickity old elevator. Unlike the newer elevators found throughout the base, this elevator had not been replaced since the mysterious billionaire Mr. Asshole had built the base in 1912. You see, unlike the other elevators which went all over the base, this elevator led solely to the dungeon, part of which had been repurposed by Mr. Cynical as a sex dungeon. As the elevator decended, in creaked and swayed in a way that made it seem as if it were about to fall. When it reached the bottom, the Assholegers stepped out. To the left was a door to the the sex dungeon and to the right were the prison cells.
"Hey fag" screamed Wat. "Traps are GAY."
"No they aren't," said GuitarSkater. "Also did you know that Getter Robe is a rip off of Gurren Lagann and that Gunbuster is shit?"
Retro pulled out a revolver.
BLAM!
"OW! Holy shit! My arm! What was that for."
"Shut up before I really kill you," said Retro.
"heh heh heh, look at this kid getting all mad at him," said a Mumkey fan in the adjacent cell.
"yeah, heh heh heh," said another.
BLAM!
BLAM!
Two bullets pierced through the Mumkey fans' skulls, killing them instantly.
Inside of the sex dungeon, there were types of contraptions and "toys" (if you could even call them that). It looked more like a Medieval torture chamber than anything.
"So, what are we looking for?" said Retro, completely oblivious to her surroundings.
"Oh I don't know," said Wat. "Maybe it's that GIANT FUCKING PURPLE SWIRLY THING over there."
"Oh hey, I didn't see that."
"You're fucking stupid"
"Oh wow," said mrmeatman, approaching the gate. "You know this is a nice looking purple swirly thing I bet it would look nice on my wAAAALLL!"
Suddenly a hand reached out and grabbed mrmeatman's face, rapidly pulling him into the gate.
"MRMEATMAN!" cried Retro.
"Shit," said Flutter.
A body emerged from the gate. "Well well, if it isn't the Assholgers." The dark red skinned girl was wearing nothing but a black bra and panties to cover her large breasts and ass. From her head protruded yellow horns and from her fingers sharp claws. Her eyes were yellow and had slitted pupils like those of a cat, and her human legs connected into much more beast like paws where her feet should have been.
"Who the hell are you?" said Wat. "Did the PCP send you? Are you one of the Digi Bros?"
"Of course not. I have been sent by the Devil herself to take your souls! Now prepare yourselves! Your end is here!"
"LIKE HELL I'LL LET YOU TAKE MY SOUL!" screamed Retro. "HENSHIN!" Retro pulled the Red Assgem out of her pocket, which was attached to a ring and slammed it into the Henshin Device on her right arm. Yet instead of causing the ring to disappear and melding to the shape of the indent on the bracelet-like Henshin Device, the gem did nothing.
"Eeeeeeh?! HENSHIN! HENSHIN!" Retro repetitively slammed the gem into the device.
"HENSHIIIIIIIIN!" Retro slammed the gem into the bracelet with all her strength. Upon hitting the bracelet, the gem shattered and fell to the ground.
Retro, Wat, and Flutter all stared in shock.
"NANI?!" cried Retro. "H-h-how could this happen? They were supposed to be indestructible." Retro stared at a piece of the gem she had picked up on the verge of tears. "Wait." Retro brought the piece closer to her face and licked it. "Oh I see, this isn't the Red Assgem, this is a Sour Cherry Ring Pop." Wat and Flutter both face palmed at Retro.
"Would you all SHUT UP!" screamed the Succubus. From her body emitted a purple aura that spread it self around the Assholegers.
"I.. can't... move" said Flutter.
The succubus moved the Assholers through the air, finally setting them on three adjacent wooden boards that stood them up vertically and locked them with chains.
"Now then, let's get to the soul stealing."
The succubus approached Wat. She laughed in a seductive manner. She leaned in and kissed Wat. Wat began to cry.
"You bastard, I won't let you fuck me. I am a pure school idol" said Wat.
"Oh ho, we'll see about that." The succubus pulled down her panties to reveal her vagina. "Hm, this won't do." She brought her hand down and emitted a purple aura. as she moved her hand away, a large penis appeared in it's place. "Mmmmm, that's better." The succubus shoved her large dick into Wat's tight pussy.
"Ooooh," Wat cried out in pain and her eyes bulged as the dick was inserted.
"Oh, yes" said the succubus. She thrusted again. "MMmmmm, oh yes, yes"
Wat continued to moan as the large dick destroyed her pussy.
"No please stop. Y-y-you're gonna make me cum."
"Yes let's cum together!"
"What? No! If you cum inside me, I-I'll get pregnant."
"I think you'll have bigger problems than that when we cum." said the succubus. She continued to thrust. "YES!"
"NOOOOO!" cried Wat. "Ahhhhh!"
Wat and the succubus both came together. As the orgasm subsided, Wat's life slowly disappeared from his eyes.
"Ha ha ha! Your soul is mine."
"NO!" cried Flutter.
"Haha, looks like your next Retro" said the succubus.
"Well as much as I love dick, I'm gonna have to pass on that, IT'S TIME TO END YOU."
"Oh? And how are you gonna do that all chained up like that?"
cue epic music
"RAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Retro screamed while struggling to break free. Suddenly the chains shattered to pieces, freeing her.
"WHAT?!" screamed the succubus. "IMPOSSIBLE."
"DIIIIEEEEEEE!" Retro slammed her fist into her face. "SUPER MOON PUNCH OR SOMETHING!" The succubus flew across the room, slamming into the wall and creating an indent. She fell to the floor dead, and as she died, the portal closed.
"Now then." Retro walked up to her body and pulled out a knife. Cutting the succubus' balls open, a ghostly apparatus emerged and flew into Wat's body.
"Holy shit, what the fuck happened." said Wat.
"You got raped by a succubus who stole your soul and stored it in her balls." said Flutter.
"Ewwwwww. What kind of gay shit is this?"
"Hey Retro come over and unlock us," said Flutter.
"Hmmm, I don't know, maybe you should do me some, uh, favors before I do."
"Retro god dammit I'll fucking drown you."
"fine fine."
The day is saved thanks to the Assholegers, but what of mrmeatman? Where has he gone? Do the others even remember he exists? Will they help him? And will Naddy and Kenny EVER show up? Find out next time, in Episode 2 - "mrmeatman in Hell".