The Two Hitokiri: We're the same but Different our Paths.
It was a cold, autumn morning. The leaves around had taken every color of red and brown and were slowly swinging along with the branches in the light breeze. When, after some time they got tired of the dance, they would slowly leave the tree and fall softly to the ground below or dance along with the breath of wind, ready for yet another partner… The silence was indeed calming for every unrest spirit would enter that place. The trees were forming a natural wall around the small, stone path, like a protecting cocoon. Somewhere into that forest, there were small birds singing or other small animals rushing to hide in their nests or tunnels every time some strange, to them, sound was disturbing them.
Most of the branches were already half-naked, almost wearing their winter attire waiting for the first snow to fall. The few remaining leaves and autumn flowers were shivering onto the twigs at the small stroking of the breeze. The sunlight was burrowing playfully among the empty spaces between the branches and the remaining leaves causing a shimmering light passing through them when a person would walk onto that small path. The dried leaves had started to lie onto the cobbled path as if they wanted to cover it so it wouldn't be cold. Only the sound of the wind was breaking the silence. The grayish clouds to the sky seemed to be joining the hide-and-seek the entire nature was playing so calmly. There was the sound of human steps onto those rocks that were forming the path. Someone wearing his joori was walking in a slow, calm and collected peace within the natural cocoon…
Further away there was a stone stairway that was leading upstairs. There where two miniatures of temples to either side of it. It was the proof for the travelers that they were about to climb up to the temples, to the graveyard. The unknown traveler, dressed in the traditional Japanese attire; he was wearing white hakama, pink montuki and brownish-purple tabi shocks, smiled softly and started climbing up the stairs slowly; one step at a time.
He wasn't in a hurry. He actually enjoyed the prettiness of nature, the calmness of that chilly morning or the soft whisper of the wind. The man was a small-sized one, not too tall either too well built. His body was lean and covered in rigid muscles, though. His hair had a unique color for Japanese race. It was red; Red like fire…like blood and caught as usually in a low ponytail. It was long enough to reach below his waistline. His left cheek had a cross-shaped scar… Around his belt he had a long Katana sword to complete his appearance. His appearance was plain, simple and someone could say poor, but still it seemed to be comfortable for him even in the coldness of that morning.
Himura Kenshin slowly climbed up to the final steps as his violet eyes were scanning the place around. There was a big statue of Buddha, who was sitting with his calm smile, guarding the sacred location. Everywhere around was the discreet essence of incense. The countless tombstones seemed to be germinating out of the cobbled ground, and were covered with the many kanji with prayers and the names of the dead. The incense twigs were still burning up slowly and steadily releasing their aroma for the dead below. Kenshin stopped for a little at the entrance of the graveyard. He jibed there to look over the graves at Buddha in deep thought. It's been a long time since he had prayed. He hadn't prayed ever since he lost his parents out of cholera when he was a child. Nevertheless he couldn't deny that both Buddha's calmness and the smell of incense was rather calming for his tormented soul. He closed his eyes and drew a deep breath through his nose. He was remembering…
"Kenshin" Kamiya Kaoru called out softly when she spot him to the door putting his joori on
Kenshin turned around towards the direction of her voice. He saw her. She was beautiful. She was dressed in a nice blue kimono with patterns of pink and green flowers on it, wearing green obi around her waist that ended to a pink bow to her back. Her hair was caught in a low ponytail like usually with a fine, blue ribbon
"Where are you going, Kenshin?" she asked again. She seemed worried in a way
Kenshin smiled softly as he replied.
"I am leaving, Kaoru-dono…"
"Where to?" Kaoru raised her hands to her chest joining them together
"Kyoto, that I am" Kenshin replied calmly, "There is something I must do, that there is…"
Kaoru's eyes filled with worry and concern.
"Kyoto is too far away. Why must you leave now?"
However Kenshin's smile didn't fade at all.
"There is something I must do, that there is" he repeated like an echo with the same calmness, "Don't worry though, Kaoru-dono. I'll be back, that I am"
Kaoru sighed and lowered her hands from her chest down her stomach.
"Okay" she said with a small smile, "If you have to go… However promise me you'll come back soon"
Kenshin smiled once more –smile seemed to come so natural to him since the day he met her and his precious friends!- and placed his hand over the slight swelling of her stomach. Kaoru's face sweetened with a maternal smile. Yes. They both knew. The baby would be born soon. Kenshin couldn't be any happier than that. Inside his precious wife was growing a new life…a new life he and her had created… He was always good with children, however he had never experienced the happiness of expecting having one of his own.
"I will come back, that I will" he said softly, feeling the barely noticeable movements under Kaoru's kimono's fabric, "I will come back to you and our child, soon, that I am"
That seemed to have the affect he wanted to her. She smiled an assured smile and nodded her head at him. Kaoru knew her husband's free spirit. He was a Wanderer for ten years. Now he finally had settled down he seemed happier but still the road seemed to be calling him from time to time. He would go out for long walks or even travel to Kyoto from Tokyo like he was about to do right now. He always came back though. He always came back…
"Ja, Itterashai! (Then, take care!)" she said and hugged him tightly
"Oro!" Kenshin exclaimed but smiled, "Aa. Ittekuru, Kaoru-dono. (Yes. I'm leaving, Kaoru-dono)"
He then opened the rice-paper doors and stepped out. He started walking away towards the central gate of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu Dojo. Kaoru remained at the door, waving goodbye to him. She was smiling. She wasn't worried. He always came back… Yes…he always came back…
Kenshin sighed a little, sucking into his thirsty lungs the sweet-smelling air that had the aroma of wet soil and incense and smiled at the calming place. He was all alone, as it seemed. No one else was there. He was carrying a basket in one hand and a bucket to the other. The bucket was half-full with water and some flowers in it. Irises. He stepped into the resting place of the so many people. He was familiar to the idea of death. He was accustomed to seeing graves. He walked among the marble monuments slowly, as if he desired not to disturb the people sleeping there. It took him a couple of minutes to find what he was looking for.
The tombstone was plain and almost naked, barely visible below the countless weeds that had grown all around it, nearly completely concealing it, since no one seemed to have been there for some time, not even to take care of the grave and put some offerings to it. Kenshin kneeled before it, putting the baskets he was holding aside, and patiently started removing the weeds one by one, careful not to scratch the gravestone. Soon the name of the dead man below the soiled ground was revealed before him:
Shishio Makoto
Himura Kenshin, ex-Hitokiri Battousai, sighed softly and placed his hands in the basket he was holding. He took out of it two small twigs of incense and after lighting them he sank them to the soil before the tombstone carefully. After that he remained there in kneeling position before the grave, not saying a word, just looking at the name engraved so plainly to the tombstone, the tombstone forgotten by everyone else but him in this graveyard of Kyoto. When a few minutes passed he took a white flower out of the same basket and bestowed it carefully onto the wet soil before the grave. He stood back to his feet but his levanter eyes were still fastened upon the cold marble monument.
"Shishio Makoto…" he thought, "I came here, like I promised, that I did"
He didn't know what to say or what to think. Shishio was his enemy so long ago. He tried to harm his friends and he nearly succeeded. He tried to take over Japan and bring back the Revolution, however he still…couldn't see him as an evil man. He had tried to find his place in this new world, like Kenshin was trying to do for the past eleven years.
"So many years passed…" he spoke in a low voice to the dead man, "Eleven years is long time, that it is… But even this great amount of time cannot erase from my memory all those awful things in the streets of Kyoto that it can't… You remember it too, don't you? The nights in Kyoto streets were painted red from blood that they were. People were fighting every night that they were…"
It was as if his words were traveling with the chilly wind, floating over the cold, marble stones around him… The incense was burning itself slowly over Makoto's tombstone.
"People crossed swords many times, sometimes brother against brother, that they did. However no one really hated the other… It was all about our ideals and our beliefs that it was… So many nights the sky was lit with fire…people were trying to sleep over the clanging of swords…"
His tortured mind was running back at those times…when he was fighting with his sword, killing… Fighting and killing… He was running within the endless labyrinth of the cobbled streets in Kyoto around the houses with the rise-paper windows. There was the sound of yelling; yells of pain or battle cries. There was the smell of sweat and blood in the air, even in chilly winter nights. Fire and blood…and steel everywhere…
"I know you remember it too, that I know…" Kenshin whispered again, "You walked the same path I did… I wonder…why did you do it? Why did you decide to kill people? Did you want to protect someone? Did you wish to protect an idea? I know now that I know nothing about you… I never met you back then…but still you were the one who attended the assassinations after me… You were the one to take over my burden… One burden us both knew what it was, that we did…
We knew there was no way to be loved…we knew that our hands would smell blood every day…we knew it that we did…"
He found out that his voice was slightly shaking in emotion.
"We knew what burden we were taking on, but still the path we did was the same. We were killing for someone…we were becoming murderers for an idea… But when our paths became different I…"
He gritted his teeth remembering. Otsu… The small house in the mountains was covered in snow…and there was the beautiful woman in his arms…
"I took another path and you took over where I left, that you did. But you… The thing that happened to you could be the thing they would do to me, that it was…
They tried to kill you. Now I know, now that I am not naïve like back then… I know they could do the same thing to me, that they could. They would have done it if I hadn't promised to her…if I hadn't promised to stop killing…if I hadn't left…"
He smiled softly touching the cold stone, stroking it carefully.
"You lived despite what others did to you…and you were lost like I was, that you were. You needed your place in this world and you tried to find it… I know that we were supposed to be rivals…but still I can't see you as a bad man…"
He closed his eyes to prevent his tears from falling to his cheeks.
"I could be looking my own fate, that I could. If I hadn't met Kaoru-dono, Sanosuke or Megumi-dono…or any other of my friends…this could be my own fate too… If I hadn't met her back then in Kyoto…I could still be killing… Shishio Makoto…"
He opened his eyes again and they were teary but his lips were smiley.
"We should have met under different circumstances, that we should… We should have met in a different world…in a world that doesn't exist, that it doesn't… We could be brothers, you and I… We could be living in the mountains together, that we could… We could gaze at the stars every night, enjoying some sake… Sake that wouldn't taste like blood… I tasted it once, that I did. I was happy once back then, that I was…"
A tear ran down his cheek and softly fell on the soil in front of the grave.
"And right when I was about to say that even a Hitokiri deserves happiness, this happiness turned into ashes into my mouth, that it did… I was lost… Was it how you felt too? It was, wasn't it?"
His heart was beating fast with emotion. He was talking to him like he had never talked to him before. He felt as if there was an invisible bond with him at that moment. There was a bond he couldn't create with anyone else… It was the bond born from the ashes of burning Kyoto of Bakumatsu Revolution…
"You and I…are both Hitokiris…" he said, "Once a Hitokiri, will always remain a Hitokiri, Jin-ei had told me… Perhaps it is true, that it is… You and I…have seen many things…horrible things…"
He touched the scar on his cheek almost lovingly.
"…We have done horrible things… We both received the weight of countless lives upon our shoulders… You know it too, don't you? You knew it back then too? If only you could see the world through someone else's eyes like I did! Perhaps you could still change…perhaps you would have found your place in this world…that you could…"
He sighed and smiled once more. His eyes were now shimmering with the grayish light from the autumn sky. He looked towards it, towards the clouds playing with the sun. The wind was still dragging a few dried leaves among the graves…
"And now…here you are…that you are… Abandoned in this graveyard's corner…not having anyone else to remember you…not even someone to come and take care of your tombstone…"
The breeze was slowly caressing his red hair…
"Perhaps I am looking at my own feature…"
He fastened his eyes upon the tombstone below him once more smiling.
"We really should have been born brothers you and I, that we should… We could have lived free, finding a place in this world…finding, both of us, someone to remember us after we left this world… We could run together…run free in the forest… Like Sisho and I used to be while he was training me… We could gaze upon the stars and enjoy warm sake together…"
He sighed and placed his hand within the basket once more taking out a small bottle with sake. He carefully poured the half at the wet soil and over the tombstone and then placed the bottle carefully in front of it.
"I'll come again, that I will…I promise…"
He stood up, feeling his heart lighter than feather. He took one last glance on the grave and walked away, taking with him the empty basket and the bucket with the water and irises… His steps became again slow and soundless as he walked further.
"We both saw Bakumatsu Revolution…" he thought, "We both lived in new Meiji Era…we both tried to adapt to it… He just wouldn't accept it… We are the same…but different our paths, that they are…"
As he walked further he found another tombstone. His smile became sweeter. He stopped before it and placed the water bucket close to his foot to the ground. He smiled once more at the gravestone and then whispered in emotional voice…
"I came again…Tomoe…"
Joori: Japanese sandals like our flip-flops
Hakama: Traditional Japanese pants
Montuki: Japanese cloth, worn over hakama pants, shirt, blouse
Tabi shocks: Shocks where the grand toe is separate from the other toes so the Joori can pass between the fingers
Obi: Broad "belt" for the female kimono
Kanji: Japanese letters. Each of them represents, also, an entire word
Sisho: Master or Teacher. This is how Kenshin called his teacher Hiko Seijuro
Here is a small one-shot I made for someone I met yesterday and said that he liked Rurouni Kenshin and because we had a conversation about Hitokiris, I decided to make this -the title is cut as you see. Full title inside the fic-
Kenshin visits Makoto's grave and talks to him...
Picture found here art/Sessha-wa-rourouni-467985449
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