Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or any of their characters, all rights go to their owners.
Author's Note : This is a one-shot based of a joke I just read on the internet, and randomly decided to apply to America :P. Hope you enjoy!:)
After a long meeting, all the men sat in an American bar, discussing (as usual) sex.
America felt honoured to be invited, however, he was growing tired of always hearing France bragging about his intense sex life, and Germany's non-existent one. His eyes fell to the drink in his hand, and he distracted himself by playing with the straw until a voice drew him out of his thoughts.
"America? What about you? What's your funniest sex story, ma Cherie?" France asked the younger man, curiously.
America's face lit bright red. No one ever asked him about the one and only time he had sex, and quite frankly he never intended to tell them. "M-me? Bro, why don't we ask Spain or someone..."
"Oh come on, Amerique! You never speak of your sexual encounters! You are so much younger than most of us, we would be interested to her a story from une differente point of view."
Following this remark came a chant of agreement from the rest of the men, and Alfred realised he had no choice but to tell the story, and so he began reliving the moment that changed his life forever:
*flashback*
It was a great, fun, night. America had decided to hit up a few bars with his brother's Mattie and Arthur. It wasn't until late in the night when he finally saw a woman he wanted to take home. She had beautiful, long, blonde hair that reached down to her tiny waist-line, and an eye-catching face with blue eyes the colour of the ocean to match.
He confidently strolled up to the pretty woman and after the course of a few hours, they went from talking about the weather to eventually talking about sex. He invited her home with him, and to his surprise and delight, she graciously accepted the offer and the two caught a cab back to his place.
Once they reached the home they broke out until the normal house-visiting rituals. They started some small talk, she complimented the house, he cracked open some wine, they made out on the couch for a few, and headed up to the bedroom to get things moving along.
The following morning, America woke up to the gorgeous woman stroking his balls. He recalled the last night, and suddenly grew curious when he remembered that the woman seemed to really enjoy touching his balls, he didn't have anything against it, however he just wondered why she loved it so much.
"Why do you love stroking my balls so much?" He asked.
"Because" she replied, "I really miss mine."
*end flashback :P*
America blushed a deep shade of red after retelling his story, and felt the urge to hide under the table as everyone at the table roared into laughter.
"I. Can't. Believe. You lost. Your. Virginity. To. A . Man." Prussia said to Alfred, tears running down his cheeks.
This, decided America, is why I don't go out with the guys.
hahahahha, get it? :,) Ahhh, this one sucked but I don't know why I felt the need to write it lol. Anyways, please review it:). 3