The Sword
The sword lay in the middle of the Great Hall. All around, the dust motes danced, serenading the sunlight shining through the huge panes of glass. Sunlight beam down softly, warming the worn floor stones. The sun itself is peeking through the windows, making its light dance on the wondrous blade. The twittering of birdsong floats through the window. The soft breeze carries the smell of pine and wood, along with the sounds of rustling leaves. All this peace is about to end, however.
Triss walked through the doors, spotting the blade.
"What the heck is my sword doing on the floor?!" she cried, snatching it up and dusting it off.
Then Tagg strode in.
"What the HELL do you think you're doing to my sword????" he yelled, leaping forward and snatching the sword.
"What the hell????? That's mine you twiddling twitchy ugly faced beast!!"
"Nuh-uh. It's MINE!!!!!!!! I'm the Redwall Abbey Champion!!! Who the hell do you think you are??????"
"Nuh-uh. I'm the Warrior of Redwall!!!! Who the hell do you think you are???"
"Nuh-uh. You're not the Champion!"
"Yuh-uh. I'm the Champion!"
"Nuh-uh."
"Yuh-uh"
"Nuh-uh"
"Yuh-uh"
*this continues for some time.*
With that, Mattimeo walked into the Hall.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN' WITH MY SWORD?????"
"Huh? You too?" said a bemused Tagg. "I mean, IT'S MY SWORD!!"
"No way! It's mine! Martin the Warrior chose ME!"
"No, he chose me!"
"No, it's ME!!!"
"Yeah right. You're deluding yourself!"
"And you're hallucinating!"
"And both of you are clueless!"
At that moment, Matthias decided to come in.
"SON!!!! And that otter and squirrel! GET YOUR DISGUSTING PAWS OFFA MY SWORD!!!!!!"
"Yes Father. . ." said Mattimeo meekly.
"Who the hell are you, you old mouse?"
"Yeah!"
"Who are you callin' old, you ugly otter??"
"Look who's talking, mouse!!"
"Dad. You're not getting any younger. Get used to it."
"Why you lil' rip! You shut your mouth!!"
*sniff* "Yes Father. . ."
At that moment, Martin decided to walk in. Silence fell as he stared at the fighting beasts with cold eyes.
"MARTIN!" yelled all four beasts.
"Tell them that YOU chose ME to have the sword!!"
"Hah. You?? Martin, tell them I'm the Champion!!"
"No!! I'm the Warrior of Redwall!!!!"
"Who the hell are you kidding, old man? The sword belongs to me!!!"
"SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Martin.
"So who does it belong to??"
"Yeah!! Answer the question!!"
"DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO BE SILENT?????"
"Yes sir. . ."
"I'm very sorry sir."
"Aye, me too sir."
"I understand sir."
"Then I'll tell you. The sword belongs to ME!!"
"WHAT????? But, but, but. . ."
"But you said I was to be the protector of Redwall!!"
"But you can't tell three other beasts to be the Champion!!!!"
"Yeah, what Tagg said!!!"
"My sword is mine. The blade was forged by the mighty badger lord [insert name here] for ME!" (fine, fine, I forgot the name, all right? Cut me some slack. . .)
Then, Luke the Warrior walked in.
"Say, that looks a lot like my blade. Though the blade looks much better. . ."
"DAD?"
"Who?"
"I have absolutely no clue."
"Me neither."
"Who's that other old mouse?"
"I AM LUKE THE WARRIOR!!! THE FATHER OF MARTIN THE WARRIOR, THOUGH MY NAME SOUNDS MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!"
"Sounds exactly like his son."
"Absolutely."
"Yeah."
"Ya think?"
"Martin!!!! That sword belongs to me!!!"
"What??? But Dad. . ."
"I SAID, give the sword to me!!!"
"Hey! But you gave it to me!" said Martin meekly.
"And you gave it to me!"
"No, Martin gave me the sword!!"
"No, it's mine, MINE I tell you!"
Luke talked as he went out the doors.
"I'm going to get a lawyer to prove that the sword is mine!"
Hearing this, the other warriors chased after him yelling.
"Hey! Come back here!! That thing's mine!!"
"No, it's mine!"
"MINE!"
"Be quiet boy! The sword is mine!"
The group continued to 'debate' as they ran out. The sword lay forgotten on the paw-worn floor, basking in the light of the sun while the dust motes continued to float lazily once again as the argument fading into the background.
~*~*~*~*~
My first Redwall fic! Ok, it's dumb and pointless, but come on! Leave a review, even if it's only to tell me it's pathetic. Oh yeah, in the middle of doing this, I decided to read some fics. I found one where the warriors from the books fought over the sword too. I swear that I didn't copy. I got the idea before I read it! So please, don't accuse me of copying. ;_; And I haven't read most the books in a really long time, so I forgot most the names of the warriors. -_-v
And here's the disclaimer: I don't own Redwall. Brian Jacques and probably Philomel, the publisher, does. I'm only 'borrowing' the characters and the story. . . ^_^; Besides, he wouldn't write this kind of plotless so-called 'story' anyway, would he?
The sword lay in the middle of the Great Hall. All around, the dust motes danced, serenading the sunlight shining through the huge panes of glass. Sunlight beam down softly, warming the worn floor stones. The sun itself is peeking through the windows, making its light dance on the wondrous blade. The twittering of birdsong floats through the window. The soft breeze carries the smell of pine and wood, along with the sounds of rustling leaves. All this peace is about to end, however.
Triss walked through the doors, spotting the blade.
"What the heck is my sword doing on the floor?!" she cried, snatching it up and dusting it off.
Then Tagg strode in.
"What the HELL do you think you're doing to my sword????" he yelled, leaping forward and snatching the sword.
"What the hell????? That's mine you twiddling twitchy ugly faced beast!!"
"Nuh-uh. It's MINE!!!!!!!! I'm the Redwall Abbey Champion!!! Who the hell do you think you are??????"
"Nuh-uh. I'm the Warrior of Redwall!!!! Who the hell do you think you are???"
"Nuh-uh. You're not the Champion!"
"Yuh-uh. I'm the Champion!"
"Nuh-uh."
"Yuh-uh"
"Nuh-uh"
"Yuh-uh"
*this continues for some time.*
With that, Mattimeo walked into the Hall.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN' WITH MY SWORD?????"
"Huh? You too?" said a bemused Tagg. "I mean, IT'S MY SWORD!!"
"No way! It's mine! Martin the Warrior chose ME!"
"No, he chose me!"
"No, it's ME!!!"
"Yeah right. You're deluding yourself!"
"And you're hallucinating!"
"And both of you are clueless!"
At that moment, Matthias decided to come in.
"SON!!!! And that otter and squirrel! GET YOUR DISGUSTING PAWS OFFA MY SWORD!!!!!!"
"Yes Father. . ." said Mattimeo meekly.
"Who the hell are you, you old mouse?"
"Yeah!"
"Who are you callin' old, you ugly otter??"
"Look who's talking, mouse!!"
"Dad. You're not getting any younger. Get used to it."
"Why you lil' rip! You shut your mouth!!"
*sniff* "Yes Father. . ."
At that moment, Martin decided to walk in. Silence fell as he stared at the fighting beasts with cold eyes.
"MARTIN!" yelled all four beasts.
"Tell them that YOU chose ME to have the sword!!"
"Hah. You?? Martin, tell them I'm the Champion!!"
"No!! I'm the Warrior of Redwall!!!!"
"Who the hell are you kidding, old man? The sword belongs to me!!!"
"SILENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Martin.
"So who does it belong to??"
"Yeah!! Answer the question!!"
"DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO BE SILENT?????"
"Yes sir. . ."
"I'm very sorry sir."
"Aye, me too sir."
"I understand sir."
"Then I'll tell you. The sword belongs to ME!!"
"WHAT????? But, but, but. . ."
"But you said I was to be the protector of Redwall!!"
"But you can't tell three other beasts to be the Champion!!!!"
"Yeah, what Tagg said!!!"
"My sword is mine. The blade was forged by the mighty badger lord [insert name here] for ME!" (fine, fine, I forgot the name, all right? Cut me some slack. . .)
Then, Luke the Warrior walked in.
"Say, that looks a lot like my blade. Though the blade looks much better. . ."
"DAD?"
"Who?"
"I have absolutely no clue."
"Me neither."
"Who's that other old mouse?"
"I AM LUKE THE WARRIOR!!! THE FATHER OF MARTIN THE WARRIOR, THOUGH MY NAME SOUNDS MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!"
"Sounds exactly like his son."
"Absolutely."
"Yeah."
"Ya think?"
"Martin!!!! That sword belongs to me!!!"
"What??? But Dad. . ."
"I SAID, give the sword to me!!!"
"Hey! But you gave it to me!" said Martin meekly.
"And you gave it to me!"
"No, Martin gave me the sword!!"
"No, it's mine, MINE I tell you!"
Luke talked as he went out the doors.
"I'm going to get a lawyer to prove that the sword is mine!"
Hearing this, the other warriors chased after him yelling.
"Hey! Come back here!! That thing's mine!!"
"No, it's mine!"
"MINE!"
"Be quiet boy! The sword is mine!"
The group continued to 'debate' as they ran out. The sword lay forgotten on the paw-worn floor, basking in the light of the sun while the dust motes continued to float lazily once again as the argument fading into the background.
~*~*~*~*~
My first Redwall fic! Ok, it's dumb and pointless, but come on! Leave a review, even if it's only to tell me it's pathetic. Oh yeah, in the middle of doing this, I decided to read some fics. I found one where the warriors from the books fought over the sword too. I swear that I didn't copy. I got the idea before I read it! So please, don't accuse me of copying. ;_; And I haven't read most the books in a really long time, so I forgot most the names of the warriors. -_-v
And here's the disclaimer: I don't own Redwall. Brian Jacques and probably Philomel, the publisher, does. I'm only 'borrowing' the characters and the story. . . ^_^; Besides, he wouldn't write this kind of plotless so-called 'story' anyway, would he?