Boone was sitting around, polishing his brand new Colt Walker. He had just got it from the general store for the amazing price of 610919269 pence."Look at these posh-a gosh derned Brits! Say, if I was back in the West, I'd be happy with the heckuva lot cheaper likker!"
"Cut it, Boone," Omri called. "If you say one more bloody swear, me mum's gonna kick you into the rubbish bin!"
"What is this nonsense you fools are speaking?" asked Little Bear. "In my village, if you speak nonsense, you get an arrow to the knee."
"ENOUGH WITH THAT BLOODY SKYRIM BULLSPIT! I DON'T WANT YOUR BOLLOCKS COMMENTARY ON THE WORLD! SHUT YOUR DISGUSTING MOUTH UP, AND BRUSH YOUR BLOODY TEETH!" Omri suddenly screamed.
Hormones, thought Omri's mother as she walked past his room. This lad has gone absolutely MENTAL! I want nothing to do with him, have no idea why he exists or why he lives in my home, and he makes me pay his electric and loo bills. What an absolute madlad.
Suddenly, the key opened a portal. Why did that happen? Nobody knows...
Boone thought he heard a voice coming the portal. "Seems to be a voice in there. Say, I'mma be crazy if I'd be a drunk, because I've sobriety for a week," he commented placidly, as if a giant swirling portal half the size of Omri was something to be placid about.
When he strained closer to listen, Boone's eyes widened, and he started to hyperventilate. The voices said this.
nobody knows
how dry
i am
nobody knows
how Dry
i Am.
"Well I'll be darned! These portal things are giving me a sign! I can finally get my likkkkker!"
"Not so fast bozo." Little Bear was looking real salty at the cowboy known as Boone.
"I haveth for thine self three things which ye olde bookstore gaveth to me that drinking is of the bad kind."
"First: tastes bad
"Second:
"Third: this is filler so this looks lomger than it actually is, see #6
"Fourth: see the fifth one
"Fifth: see 6th one, dont mind my speeling errors as they are 100% intentional and not due to laziness
"6th: see third one"
Boone was now pissed off at Little bear, so much so that he got out his gun and caused this chapter to end.