Undead Taxi Girl, or Wake Day
*From the Desk of Steve*
-Well it's been a while since I submitted actual crap so here's a story with two memes in it: One slightly stale and the other completely new. God help you all.-
A Week's Events:
Sunday: Sudden death makes things unpleasant in Human Village
Monday: A manic family copes with loss
Tuesday: Myouren Temple is contacted; funeral arrangements are made
Wednesday: Notices and invitations sent out
Thursday: Funeral preparations completed
Today: Wake being held in Human Village, Fun Fun FUN!
It is Friday. Somewhere six feet under a silly zombie girl awakes in her coffin with a tune in her head. Miyako Yoshika decides that today's occasion calls for a song.
"Seven a.m. waking up underground; gotta be heard gotta head upstairs!"
In a few minutes the Jiang Shi shambles aboveground amidst tombstones rife with wandering spirits.
"Gotta have my fork gotta have dead spirits." The loli zombie feasts on some delectable ghosts, then takes time to reflect on her surroundings. "Seeing everyone the air is chilling, freezing on and on, but I best be rushin'!"
Remembering that she was to be today's funerary chauffeur Miyako hurries into the surrounding forest.
"Gotta get down to my ta-xi. Gotta grab my cab." Miyako soon reaches her cherished taxi and spots a pleasant surprise waiting. "I see my frieeeeeends!"
Inside the taxi some of her youkai friends have taken their seats. In the front passenger seat was the lazy gatekeeper Hong Meiling, and in the back seat were the clumsy karakasa Kogasa Tatara and the mountain echo youkai Kyouko Kasodani. They all looked eager to go, but Miyako further expounds on her discovery with song.
"Haunting up the front seat, spooking up the back seat. And it's the driver's seat that I-will-TAAAAAAKE."
A minute later Miyako and friends are cruising in the taxi toward the Human Village as she continues to lay down musical accompaniment.
"It's Wake Day, Wake Day! Gotta get down on Wake Day! Everybody pitch in for the pro-cession! Pro-cession! Wake Day, Wake; gettin' down on Wake Day. Everybody pitch in for the pro-cession. Funeral funeral (Yea!). Funeral funeral (Yea!). Sad sad sad sad, helping the pro-cession-"
"Oh my god what is that!" Kogasa cries from the backseat interrupting the singing. Up ahead Cirno was busy poking a frozen frog with a stick, completely oblivious to the oncoming yellow machine of death.
"It's a small child in the middle of the road!" points out Hong. "Do something Miyako!"
The mood completely "dead" (haha) Miyako tries to do evasive maneuvers but her arms stick out and refuse to move the steering wheel to either side.
"My arms are too stiff; I can't turn the wheel enough!" She cries out to everyone.
"You are the worst cab driver!" Trolls Kyouko, as the taxi continues toward the stupid ice fairy.
"We're about to hit her!" shouts Miyako. Hong suddenly reaches over and takes hold of the wheel.
"Give me that wheel!"
Using her martial arts expertise enhanced by desperation Hong shoves the steering wheel to the extreme left causing the taxi to veer sharply off the road and inches from the still-preoccupied Cirno. Cirno gives a momentary upward glance as the taxi careens off a cliff and into a rocky valley. Later a quadruple pichuuun~ sound rings out from the valley floor.
Never let corpses drive… or sing.
FIN