She walked fast and without paying attention to the castle around her.
Heels clapping against the cold ground, the sound echoing against the walls, Emma's hair flew around her shoulders as a cold wind passed through the corridor, the guards barely moving when Emma passed by them, acknowledging her presence with an almost imperceptible nod. Emma ignored them and lengthened her steps, her heavy coat flowing around her as she held the lapels to keep it closed to stay warm.
Winters weren't the easiest since they had been forced by the Evil Queen's army to go back to their summer castle; Emma's family had been trapped in a golden tower with nowhere to go. This part of the kingdom was safe for the moment, as if the Evil Queen had given them a reprieve and let them live.
She had found another curse to spell them with, more destructive, more evil, and everything you would've expected from the so called Evil Queen.
Emma shook her head, stopping her musings and trying to ignore the hammering of her heart as she approached the council chamber; she was excited and impatient to see what had brought faith and joy into the hearts of her people after years and years of mourning the golden era.
Some messenger had run into her room without knocking, which, under other circumstances would have annoyed her, bringing with him the good news. It was then that Emma had heard cries and screams of joy from her bedroom's window, as people Emma had known all her life wearing broken smiles and tensed features smiled with faith in better days.
It had been terrible for all of them.
The flowers had died much like the hot summer and spring, everything condemned to an endless winter with no hope of seeing the fields healthy. Everything in the land had disappeared when the curse had come, and the farmers had left the land, seeking a better place to raise their children and see their seeds growing into a fertile ground. The lakes and the rivers were dead, dried and useless, taking with them last drops of water, and all hope to see their land flourish again.
Emma passed through the heavy door of the council room where she was expected; one step in and her breath was stuck at the back of her throat, emotions and surprise drying her lips.
The bright light lightening the place made her stop for a moment, symbols, pictures and stories projected on the wall, the book of the seven seas opened in the middle of the table.
"Emma!" Her father interrupted his conversation to walk to her, a smile on his tired features appearing, gently; Prince Charming took her hand in his, that used to be, once upon a time, so comforting and so warm, and lead her to the center of the room, where there was a heavy wooden table.
"Isn't it beautiful, honey? After years of fighting, of trying to find the holy book, it's here. The war is over."
Not wanting to get him down, Emma didn't correct him though the war was far from being over; the Evil Queen still had more than half of the land for herself.
It was just a tiny spark of hope.
Examining the heavy and impressive book on the table, the cover old and worn by the years because God knew how old that magical book was, Emma let go of her father's hand to walk closer, curious about it; she had heard many tales and legends about it, read many books to try to figure out the mystery of the Seven Seas, where all the stories of the ancient times and what could still be were written in, where her father supposed the key of winning the war was.
Oh, how she wanted to believe in this pretty tale.
Emma had learned it the hard way; there was no such thing as a fairytale.
The fairies were gone, abandoning them after the war.
And with them, many hearts had left.
The thought almost made Emma laugh humorlessly.
Light blue and white lines were painted over the precious cover, the pages turned yellowish after years of the book being lost in some unknown place before Graham and her father figured out its location.
Maybe they would finally get their happy ending after all.
The precious book was regally opened on the table, lighting them with new hope and coloring their faces with a light blue color.
Brushing her fingertips over the edge of the book, Emma couldn't help but feel hope spreading through her veins, hope she quickly kicked out from her mind as she tried to calm herself.
"We did it", Emma said nevertheless, almost caressing the magical book, goosebumps appearing on her skin.
Hope was dangerous in their situation; they needed to remain careful because giving hope to their people was one thing and getting carried away was another. They had lost too much to lose themselves too, again.
"I did it", a voice came from behind Emma when Graham, also called the Hunstman for his habits of spending time in the woods as much as he could so that some even called him the wolf, spoke softly. He hadn't quite changed since the last time she had seen him; his hair was longer, messier due to the life on the sea, she guessed, though she didn't have any reference or idea what it meant. Graham also looked thinner, tired and the smile on his face said just one thing: he was happy to be home.
"I missed you, sweetcheeks", he said and in a friendly gesture, Graham tugged on her tresses, knowing she would hate it.
He was sort of her best friend.
"Don't call me that", Emma cocked her head to the side, arching a brow at the pet name before reaching for him and poking him in the arm; it was good to have him back, a friend was more than needed in these dark times. "I'm glad you're home."
Squeezing his arm once more, Emma offered him a genuine smile, a hand resting on her sword; she was never a touchy person, but it didn't mean she didn't care.
She just wasn't used to that kind of gestures, and because Emma didn't know how to do it doing nothing was easier.
Not feeling anything and not showing it was a lot easier when you lived in this messed up world.
"I don't know how to thank you for bringing hope to the kingdom, Hunstman", David said from behind Emma, a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Thanks to you, we may have a chance to see this disaster end this year."
"I did my duty as a knight, your majesty", Graham bent down reverently, the king stopping him with a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't. If anyone has to, it's us", Charming argued, patting the Hunstman's shoulder.
The moment turned awkward, something heavy hanging between them all as if a ghost had just appeared, and her father shrugged.
"Tonight we will celebrate this day as we should!" Charming exclaimed so that everybody in the room could hear him. "A new Era is coming, the end of the dark days; we found the book of the Seven Seas, the book of what was and what will be. We will find peace", he said and looked at Emma, sealing a promise, "we will find each other."
This must be the way the big moments happened, the legendary moments of the Golden Snowing era that the people were talking at midnight around the fire, when Snow White and Prince Charming were leading the kingdom together, bringing back hope and happiness to lonely houses, making their people believe in happy ending and ever after.
God she wanted to believe him, especially when for the first time in years, her father's smile met his eyes.
But then, something in her own eyes must had done something to him, because his expression went back to something sadder, a ghost passing over his expression and darkening his eyes.
Charming had left.
Not the room but somewhere in his mind.
"Traveled fine?" She tried to break the tension, smiling at Graham.
Graham nodded, his lips forming a thin line, something about him and his whole expression was saying a lot more than just his "uh-huh".
"Did you face any dragons?" She asked with curiosity and her dad gave her a hesitant smile before leaving them alone. Again, David, also called Prince Charming a long time ago, knew better than stay and have to face her disappointment; she had begged him to let her go with Graham, praying for a miracle, but her father had refused to let her go.
Princesses didn't have a place on the field and besides, he wouldn't risk her life.
"Do I even look like a freaking princess to you?" Emma had wanted to yell at him, not supporting his overprotectiveness anymore; she wasn't a four year old girl who needed her daddy to look after her.
"You can't go; there's too many dangers upon the seas like pirates, scoundrels, and who knows what kind of creatures dwelling there."
Raging, Emma had left without saying anything, sighing heavily and slamming the door behind her.
God knew she didn't fear pirates, monsters… or even scoundrels.
"You better tell me everything", she pointed a finger at Graham, eyes shining with anticipation, a wry smile curling on her best friend's lips.
"Only if we have something to drink first", the knight said before grabbing her by the arm and guiding her out of the room and down the hall.
She hated to say it, but jealousy was crawling through her veins and system, Graham's tales still buzzing in her ears; he had seen so many things, sailed so many seas, crossed swords with so many pirates, though he said that he was stronger than them all with a cocky smirk on his lips. They hadn't even bothered to go for a drink; Emma had asked her old friend to take her for a walk because it was the only chance she had to see the kingdom outside her room.
Because of her father's protectiveness Emma wasn't allowed to go farther than the little garden of their castle, and arguing with him hadn't led her anywhere; despite being really skilled with a sword, Emma still wasn't allowed to go anywhere without someone at her side.
The irony was that this person was most of the time Joanna, who was incapable of wielding a sword.
Even though the once called Prince Charming's behavior upset her, Emma didn't hold it against him since the moments of peace they could share were rare enough without them fighting over something as stupid, though longed for, as walking around the kingdom.
Her father would sleep in peace. As much as he could.
Emma didn't bother knocking on the door, knowing in advance that she wouldn't get any response.
The room was quiet, and it was hard to tell someone was living in here despite the fresh flowers Joanna had brought; a stranger would have still thought that this room was unoccupied. Or that a guest was using it for a short time.
She was hardly able to breathe in this room, the heat unbearable, and Emma felt like she was drowning; the window was closed, no light escaping between the heavy curtains. Making her way to it, Emma opened it almost brutally, letting the fresh air fill her lungs, hoping to smell traces of saltiness coming from the sea.
"Close it", a cold voice came from afar and Emma looked about her, trying to find the form that spoke.
Ignoring her request, Emma stepped deeper into the room to find the woman she would have once called a mother.
Snow White, the once upon a time fairest of them all, was standing in the shadow.
"Who are you?" She asked, her tone as sharp as usual, sharper than the most dangerous blade.
"It's me", Emma said in a casual tone, like you do when you're repeating the same conversation over and over again, saying same words, using the same tone, being in the same place, and feeling the same emotions.
None.
"Who, you?"
"Emma, your daughter."
"I have no daughter", Snow White replied, stepping into the light, her face paler than ever, her cheekbones too prominent. "Who are you?"
Emma sighted.
"No one. I just came to tell you that Graham brought us good news today."
"Who?"
"A knight", the princess lowered her head, not with shame but with tiredness; these visits were something she tried to avoid as much as possible, and Emma was only doing it today because she knew her father couldn't handle seeing the woman he loved in this state.
If only this woman who was looking at Emma with such disdain was really the woman Prince David had fallen in love with.
If Emma had never smelt the salty perfume of the sea or seen the sunflowers from the books her nanny had showed her, she also had never had a real mother.
Not since Snow White had lost her heart.
"Who are you?" Snow asked once again, her brows coming together as she studied Emma who sat on the desk in front of the bed.
"No one important to you", Emma breathed out. "I'm just here to tell you that we may have a chance to save you."
"I don't need to be saved."
"Yeah, right."
"Don't talk to me like this", Snow White lectured, almost sounding like the mother she should have been. "I don't know you, you don't know me."
Emma didn't say anything in response, trying to find in the stranger's expression something that could become a memory, something that Emma could hold onto as the last remnant of her mother.
Especially when she knew her mother had died a hero.
"Dad found a way."
"Who?"
"David, the Prince", Emma explained. "Your husband, you used to call him Char-"
"I'm not married", Snow turned her head, ignoring Emma's broken expression, almost rolling her eyes at her. "I don't know your dad."
It shouldn't hurt this much because Emma was twenty-six after all and not having a mother shouldn't hurt her like it did when she was four.
Through her childhood, Emma had learned how to be without her mother at her side, her father giving her everything she had ever wanted, loving her with the love of two parents, even if his own heart was broken to pieces. Sometimes the Prince would take her to this big, white room where a beautiful woman would look at her without seeing her, her skin white as snow and her lips red as roses.
But she had never known the sweetness or the tenderness of her mother's arms, nor had she known the love of Snow White's kisses.
Even after all these years, her absence still hurt.
Nevertheless, Emma walked to the big chair where Snow was sitting now, kneeling in front of her and taking her mother's hands in hers.
"Snow", Emma refused to call her mom.
"You're not even a princess."
"I am one", Emma stood up, lifting her chin high, walls back on.
"You're not dressed like one."
"The clothes don't make a person, and you, better than anyone else, should know that", Emma hadn't meant her tone to be so sharp, but this woman had married a shepherd, she had lived as a bandit for so long, and just because Emma didn't like wearing dresses didn't mean she would allow the ghost of her mother to talk to her like that. Heartless or not.
Emma hadn't grown up without a mother at her side to teach her how to be a woman, and she had figured it out herself, with only her nanny for help.
"Get out."
"With pleasure", Emma bit between her teeth, holding at bay the tears she used to shed a long time ago for a dead mother.
There was no more tears to shed for the ghost, what ifs, and what could have beens; she had grieved a long time ago, although she didn't know why when she had never in the first place known her mother.
"Do you really have to tighten it so much, Joanna, I can barely breathe", Emma gasped, a hand on her stomach, trying to inhale which was impossible in that corset.
"You know your father is going to be delighted to see you in that dress, M'lady", Joanna kept working on the laces of her dress, but loosened them a bit for which Emma was grateful.
"My dad would also prefer me alive and breathing than dry, dead and useless."
"But look at you princess, you are beautiful", Joanna pushed her in front of the mirror. "You are the most fairest of them all, M'lady. His lord Graham is not going to believe his eyes."
Emma's cheeks reddened as she studied her reflection; her hair was curled around her face in soft waves that looked natural and yet sophisticated, and her nanny had chosen a red dress made of light materials, the corset making her thin waist look even more graceful. To her surprise the dress wasn't as heavy as the last one she wore, one which her father had chosen for a ball they had given in the winter; aside from the laces wrapped around her it was a pretty dress, but still, Emma preferred her leathers pants, and she missed the sword dearly.
God she hated dresses.
"You almost look like a bride", Joanna commented, her voice full of emotion. "If you forget about the red..."
Emma turned around and placed a finger on her maid's lips.
"No, please, don't say it", she told her. "I don't want to think about it," Emma added, knowing her maid couldn't resist the nickname she had given her when she was just five.
Emma had asked Graham to marry her, but it wasn't because she loved him; it wasn't like that. He had always been a good friend to her and she just knew he would be a good husband too, and since people wanted the rest of the kingdom it wasn't safe for a princess to be alone.
Not that she couldn't take care of herself; Emma would have kicked the ass of the first man who tried to flirt with her, but Graham was safe and her best friend, and she needed him at her side.
It wasn't like Emma believed in true love.
"I know, Missie", Joanna cried, arranging her dress. "It's just that I'm not ready to let you go yet."
"I know, Nana, me too, but I'm not married yet", Emma replied, kissing her forehead, trying as best as she could to comfort her; she had no idea how long she had before her father decided to marry them, and with the book finally in their possession, it was probably just a question of weeks. If not days.
Lifting up her dress so she could walk, Emma went in the direction on the door, ready to face the whole court, even if she felt uncomfortable in that dress.
"Wait! Wait, M'lady! You can't go without your tiara!" Joanna ran holding her back and Emma sighed bending down so it could be placed it on her head. Joanna made sure it was in place, then joined her hands together and admired Emma.
"Please, Nana, don't cry, it's just a tiara."
"I know, I know", Joanna choked out, doing her best not to shed a tear. "I just can't believe you've grown up so fast."
I can't either, Emma thought, titling her head and offering her maid a brave smile. A part of her wished she was still young and not promised to a man, as nice and gentlemanly as Graham was, she wished she had the choice.
She wished she could see the seven seas.
"Emma?" Her father tentatively opened the door. "Can I come in?"
"All clear your majesty", Joanna clapped her hands, drying off a few escaped tears with her apron.
The look on her father's face almost made Emma blush.
Almost.
"You are beautiful", he said and smiled at her proudly. "You look..."
"I know", Emma cut him off because she didn't want to think about bad things tonight; they were going to celebrate the new life and it was time to let go of the ghosts of their past.
Snow White was dead. It was time to move on and live.
Prince David was wearing a red suit, something quite dashing that made him look like a real prince Charming, royal and confident.
"Come on", he offered her his arm, a fatherly smile on his lips. "We have a party to give."
"I didn't put this stupid dress for nothing", Emma held her dress and walked to him, slipping her arm through his, their hands lanced together as he guided her through the cold castle.
As promised, the celebration was incredible and beyond expectation; Red had created an astounding ball. Snow's best friend was still really loyal to them, helping them with everything she could and being of great help to Emma.
After all, she was her Godmother, although the wolf woman had refused to raise her, Snow's presence making it all so complicated for them.
Alive and still dead, stuck somewhere in between, never allowing them to move on.
Emma had been forced to dance, though dancing with Graham wasn't that bad. It was the act in itself because the whole dancing thing was something she had never appreciated, dance teachers losing their patience over her two left feet.
Nevertheless, Graham seemed to really appreciate the dress and had convinced her to allow him more than one dance, much to her regret; she tried not to step on his feet too much, and wearing that dress didn't make it easier, but Graham was a kind partner, and had led her well, making sure Emma didn't fall. Right after him, her father had requested a dance, which Emma had more willingly accepted, more comfortable in her father's arms, feeling like a child again just for a moment; it felt nice.
"You look incredible tonight, sweetheart", her father said once more, and this time it did make her blush.
"I prefer my usual outfit", Emma laughed, lowering her voice so only he could hear her, her comment making him chuckle.
"I know, and I also know that you are more skilled for a swordfight than you are for dancing."
Emma shot him a look full of indignation and feigned annoyance.
"This is not really nice of you. I'm trying to do my best."
Charming's smile widened even more if it were possible.
"And I know I'm going to have to put some ice on my feet tonight."
"Rude", Emma arched a brow, stepping on his feet on purpose and giving him her best innocent smile.
"She would have been proud of you."
Emma's demeanor changed immediately.
"Can we not talk about her?" Her palm turned sweaty in his hand and she was suddenly uncomfortable, wanting to run away.
God it was too damn hot in this room.
Stupid fluffy dress.
"I know you fought", Charming spoke calmly, his tone steady and still cheerful as he made her twirl.
"Fighting implies two people, and she's not here", Emma bit back sharper than what she had wanted, instantly regretting it when her father's face fell.
"Don't say that, she's not gone forever", he shook his head, squeezing her hand. "She's lost, that's all."
"After twenty-five years?" Emma arched a brow, looking around her for help, but finding none. "She's dead."
"I know she's alive, she's here sometimes, I can see it in her eyes, I can feel it."
"She's heartless."
"She's still the woman I love."
"I don't believe that", Emma confessed softly; it was true though, as lovely as the romantic the thought of Snow White still being alive and able to feel and see them, it was also way too painful to hope that someday they would have her back, and plus, Emma had never known her so how was she supposed to care for a person she had always known as cold, mean, and indifferent to her presence.
"Well, well, well, I'm wounded that you started without me", a man's voice echoed from the hall, the wooden doors opening violently. "I thought the party only started when the captain walked in."
Hello there pretty beans! I'm back with a whole new story! In fact, this is the very first thing I've ever written for Captain Swan, and probably the longest fic I've ever written, I hope you're going to enjoy it (me breaking your hearts). I guess you have many questions, but don't worry, the captain is here now.
Thanks to Montana for being the person who inspired the story, to Lexi, for supporting me.
Reviews?