Title: Renewal
Author: Artifuss

Summary: Pastel balls of... An Easter Story
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Not much, except for Hathor and Thor's Hammer. Set in Season 7 with no real spoilers of any episode.
Category: Humor (I'm hoping)
Pairing: None

Archive: If you really wanna, just email me first.
Disclaimer: (is this where I'm supposed to lol?) I don't own Jack or Daniel or anything within the Stargate 'verse, if I did you wouldn't be reading this, since it'd be shelved with all the other nonsense. Stargate SG1 belongs to MGM, Double Secret Productions, Gekko, yadda.
Warning: Our favourite Colonel has a slightly foul mouth.
Author's Note: Born from a Easter bunny challenge found at the StargateBunnies farm. Huge thanks and kudos to QuinGem for betaing. Any and all mistakes are mine.

"Well kids, it is now a lovely early morning on P4X-778! Home of the ever-present trees, mineral samples, lots and lots of ruins to play with and ... huh, Easter eggs?" Hell, they were everywhere! Wherever there was shelter there was at least one… ball. Jack took off his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes. Under the closest shrub, just in front of him were a bunch of pastel-coloured spheres. He bent down to take a closer look and guessed that the smallest one was roughly thirty centimeters in diameter, with the largest one he saw to be about forty-five. There was a pink, blue and purple one under this plant, but looking around he could see that they also came in yellow, green and orange.

He could hear Daniel asking Carter, "Sam? Were they picked up by the MALP? What are the chances of these being the source of the mineral deposits?"

Seeing as these little babies were everywhere, Jack was more than welcoming that idea. It'd be easier to harvest rather than mine, and was about to say so when he turned around.

"Daniel! Carter!"

Both were about ten meters away, each holding a sphere in their hand. They gave one another a quick look of irritation and then zeroed in on his direction. Both were looking at him with identical expressions of annoyance.

"What's the problem, Jack?"

"You know, Daniel… We keep coming to the same conversation about not touching anything, least of all the unusual kind, until every single blade of grass has been cleared. Yet here you and Carter are holding these… things." His hand did a little dance while pointing towards the ball that was in Daniel's grasp. He had no idea what to call them, except for balls… or spheres. "Could you tell us what they are, Carter?"

"Um, they're balls, Sir."

That's it. He had officially broke his Second. The once duty bound officer was making sarcastic remarks to him. He was so proud… not that he was going to let her in on that.

"Balls, Major? What scientific theory did you have to break in order to come to this conclusion?"

And it was evident that she was ready and willing with a reply, "Aht! Don't want to hear it, Carter. But please, for the sake of my sanity…"

"Sanity, Jack?" Daniel couldn't help it. How could he not ask the obvious, especially when it was served to him on a silver platter.

Giving Daniel what he had hoped was the evil eye, he continued to say, "For the sake of my sanity and the few strands of my hair that have fought the good fight from turning into a nice shade of grey, please just put those… spheres down, till you know what they really are. OK?"

"For cryin' out loud, Jack!"

Did… did he just say…? "Daniel?"

"Jack!"

"Daniel?" Was he pissed off? Or had something gone horribly wrong already? If something did, would that be a new record? He checked his watch to see that fourteen minutes had gone by since they had arrived through the 'gate. Nope. Their first mission to Cimmeria still held the title, as everything went to hell in a hand-basket in all of eight minutes. He walked up to where Daniel was to see what was bothering the archeologist.

Daniel took in a deep breath and released it slowly while keeping steady eye contact with the leader of SG-1, "Jack?" he said in a mockingly calm manner, "We're wearing gloves."

Um, "What?"

"Gloves, Jack!" And he proved his point by holding up one latex encased hand and began to wave… with one finger.

Oh.

"Jack, I've been meaning to ask this for a long time now. How old do you really think Sam and I are? Cause I was wondering, if I finished off all my veggies at lunch this time, could Sammy and I go out to play in the backyard afterwards? Please? We'll be good, I promise."

"Smartass." Jack decided it was a good time to do a tactical retreat, "Teal'c? I think it's a good time to walk the perimeter. Don't want the Wondertwins to be caught unawares by… any dangerous Easter Bunnies. Hell, there has to be more than one to lay this much! You stay here; I'll go out for the first check." Teal'c was loosing his touch lately in concealing any emotions, and judging by the smirk he was sporting at the moment, Jack could easily read "Coward" all over his face.

The Colonel just didn't get any respect these days.

He was five minutes into the assessment of the area, when Daniel radioed in, "Um, Jack?"

He sounded timid. He hardly ever heard Daniel sound that way… except for a few rare cases when they were in trouble. And those times they were in BIG trouble. Jack stopped walking and radioed back, "Daniel? Is everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah Jack. There was just something I wanted to ask…"

He could still see his team-mates through the trees and bushes, and everything looked fine. Daniel was by the obelisk just a little north of the 'Gate, Carter was taking soil samples from various spots around the immediate area and Teal'c was his usual stoic self… there was nothing to indicate that they were in some kind of trouble, so why was...

"What is it, Daniel?"

"I was just wondering if Sammy and I could have dessert after dinner tonight? You think Teal'c could go 'round to the store and pick us up some ice cream? Chocolate Chip Mint would be really good, I think. I'm sure he wouldn't mind going, would ya, Teal'c?"

"DanielJackson." Teal'c said in a voice that could only be described as severe.

Ha! His plan didn't work. Instead of following Daniel's lead, the big guy was gonna give him shit. You took the joke a little too far this time, my friend. He could see the Jaffa walking up to Daniel, no doubt letting the parental guidance inside of him out for a good exercise of verbal discipline.

His radio turned back to life moments later, this time with Teal'c on the other end. "O'Neill."

"Yeah, Teal'c? What's up?"

"I would ask that you cease your patronizing of DanielJackson and MajorCarter, it is detrimental to their research."

Yes, Dad.

"Is that understood, O'Neill?"

What the…? The big guy must really be missing his son right now.

"Sure, Teal'c. Whatever you say," but he started it!