This was written for the prompt 'obnoxious - in laws', which my good friend Kayla gave me. Now, in laws is our nickname for Nathan/Haley/Lucas/Peyton and all the relationships in that little foursome. We love all variations and definitely felt cheated out of a lot of friendship scenes in s6 when LP finally got together again. They should have been on tons of double dates in our humble opinion. Anyway, we tend to come up with our own canon for these four and one of them is of Lucas and Haley dragging Nathan and Peyton to church and them behaving like obnoxious children over it - hence the prompt. So, without further ado, here's the fic.
Oh and this is un-betaed due to the late hour I finished it, so if you find mistakes in spelling and grammar, please excuse me.
Nathan tried to keep his snort of laughter discreet as Peyton once again reached around Lucas to poke him in the arm before letting loose the most massive eye roll he had ever seen a person achieve. He couldn't agree with her ridiculous face more; how Haley and Lucas had tricked them into this, he had no idea. Or well, he did know how Haley had tricked him, but he didn't exactly like to think about it. She had spouted some bullshit about how her parents and Karen always took them every Sunday when they were kids and it would really mean a lot to her if they could start the same tradition with Jamie and Sawyer - she didn't forget to pout a little and bat those big doe eyes of hers as she asked him, of course - and it was only after she had brought out the big guns and dropped down on her knees for some, ahem, pleading, he remembered that Lydia and Jimmy weren't even Christian. Nor was Haley, for that matter…
Ok, so he was beating himself up over not seeing through Haley's diabolical plan right away but she had seriously sucked him so hard he was surprised he hadn't gone blind and deaf. When he confronted her later about it, she had just smiled and patted him on the head - like he was a good little boy for finally figuring it out or something - and told him that she and Lucas had been talking about his and Peyton's sarcastic, cussing, short tempered influence on the kids and how it would do them all some good to get a bit of spiritual guidance and anyway, he had already agreed, so… And then she skipped away merrily, like the fucking conversation was over right then, when she had just told him that she and Lucas were trying to discipline him and Peyton like toddlers by dragging them to church. Fuck his life.
Back in present day, Lucas had noticed the little interaction between his wife and brother and frowned disapprovingly at them. Nathan just snorted again and turned to watch his son almost falling asleep against the side of the pew. He was leaning his head against his little fist and it was slowly slipping and slipping until Haley noticed him and gently shook him awake, casting a nervous glance in Nathan's direction and obviously hoping that he wouldn't notice Jamie's disinterests in the speech going on in front of them. When she met his smirking face, she blushed furiously and knotted her eyebrows in annoyance before huffing and turning around to pretend she gave a damn about what was said. That little entertainment over, Nathan sighed in boredom before turning around to try to engage his partner in crime in some more silent communication. Finding Peyton already staring at him in silent amusement - obviously having witnessed the little scene as well - he grinned before taking out a pen he always carried with him in his suit pocket (one can never be too prepared for excited fans coming up to him only to realize they have no pen or paper what so ever and asking him to 'wait just one second' while proceeding to run around like crazy people, shouting about a 'Pen! Please, for the love of God, does someone have a freaking pen!?') and started scribbling out a short message to her on one of the sheets with psalms they got when they entered the church earlier. When he was satisfied with his highly mature note - 'I wonder if Lucas was one of those little choir boys with the pretty white dresses when he was young?' - he made a big show out of stretching and yawning so Lucas wouldn't suspect that he was passing it along behind his back.
After a few seconds after Peyton had tugged the note out of his hand he heard a muffled shriek of laughter to his right and he stared straight ahead and tried to smother his grin as Lucas shifted angrily next to him and the two elderly ladies in front of them turned around to glare at Peyton with sour frowns on their faces. Haley hit him on the arm and mouthed 'What is going on?' with a irritated tilt of her head and he just brought out the look he had perfected on her over the years; hitching his eyebrows up innocently and shrugging while shaking his head like he had no idea what she was talking about. She stared at him for a few more seconds before shaking her head and facing forwards. But not before nudging a sleeping Jamie once again. Right then he felt something tickling his neck and looked over to see Peyton waving the sheet behind Lucas' head. Apparently he had stopped his silent little hissy fit long enough for her to sneak in an answer for Nathan. Smiling in anticipation he grabbed the note quickly before discreetly unfolding it in his lap.
'He did look awfully pink-cheeked and dreamy-eyed when we were looking for a dress for Sawyer to wear to her christening. Think I can get away with asking him to buy an adult one and model it for me? I could pretend it's a kink of mine or something.'
Nathan hissed out a breath of air as the laughter that bubbled up in his throat threatened to escape. He quickly looked over to Peyton who was shaking in silent mirth; her eyes glazed over with tears from trying to hold it in and he totally broke. The bark of laughter that came out was way too loud for the little church who's guests had now apparently bent their heads in silent prayer. Haley let out a soft, mortified gasp next to him and he noticed too late that Lucas had angrily snatched the paper out of his hand. While the whole church were staring at the foursome, Lucas - totally forgetting where he was for a second - looked up from the note and let out a colorful "What. The. Fu-" before clamping his mouth shut and going red as a stop sign. The women around them all gasped and covered their children's ears while the senior citizens started up a hushed murmur about 'the absolute nerve of the youth today!'.
"Are you quite finished?" The pastor asked them from where he stood up front. When Haley was the only one who could manage a pitiful squeak of 'yes, sir' he sighed and asked people to continue their prayer. Feeling Haley punch him on his thigh - too freaking close to his… business for his liking - Nathan turned around cautiously with wide eyes. He knew she would castrate him for this when they got home. She was flushed with anger and holding out her hand , wiggling her fingers and nodding towards the piece of paper Lucas had crumbled in his fist. Nathan snatched it quickly out of his brother's hand - who flailed wildly and sent him a glare when he couldn't get it back - and passed it along to Haley. He knew there was no point in trying to keep her from reading it; she'd get a hold of it somehow and if she was going to be pissed at him for it, it was better that he had been at least a bit helpful in her getting it.
Resigning himself to behaving like a good boy for the thirty minutes that were left of this - ironically - day from hell, he turned around to face forward with a straight face and ignored the silently bickering couple to his right.
What shocked him into swinging his head back to his left was hearing his wife's hushed giggles which she was trying to muffle behind her hand. He smirked at her as she looked up from the note in her lap and tried to wipe the smile from her face. With it still twitching reluctantly at the side of her mouth, she held her hand out for his pen and quickly scribbled something in capital letters before holding it up for him.
'WE ARE NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN. YOU TWO ARE WORSE THAN FIVE YEARS OLDS. PS. TELL PEYTON TO TAKE PICTURES.'
Smiling in triumph, he couldn't help to lean down and give her a happy smack on the lips before turning gleefully to Peyton, who was giving him the thumbs up. Apparently Lucas had decided the same thing as his Haley.
Man, being obnoxious really did pay off from time to time.
