A/N: The AU nobody asked for, but you're getting it anyway.
I'd appreciate your feedback!
Erin loves flying. The fact that she has never been to San Francisco only makes her more excited. Dressed in a comfy sweater and leggings, she arms herself with a pillow, headphones and what the airport seller claims is the latest bestseller. She usually doesn't read mainstream books, or love novels to be exact, but it will do to kill the time on the almost five-hour flight to San Francisco. She doesn't even admit to herself the real reason that she picked the book up in the first place was the not-too-shabby looking guy on the back side. He's wearing glasses and his smile wakes something up in her.
She gets a pleasant surprise at the gate, as they up her ticket to 1st class. It's the first time this has happened to her, but she's far from complaining. With a smile on her face, she sits down without paying much attention to the person sitting next to her. Since she is one of the last to board, it doesn't take long before the plane takes off.
She has the window seat, so she watches as the plane lifts from the ground. She watches until the earth disappears under the clouds. Then, with a content sigh, she settles her head on the pillow she brought, opens the book, and starts reading.
Despite her original doubts, the story is captivating. It pulls her in, and, soon, she forgets where she is. The pages keep flying and before she knows it, she is halfway into the book. What she doesn't realize, though, is that the man sitting next to her is eyeing her carefully, watching her every expression.
The book finally gets to the good stuff, and even though Erin usually doesn't read sex scenes in public, she can't tear herself away now. She doesn't realize how flushed her skin gets as she reads on. She doesn't notice that her teeth sink into her lips. She doesn't realize, how turned on the man next to her is, just from watching her.
He leans in slowly, not wanting to scare her. "You want to try it?" He whispers. His voice is soft, a little husky, and oddly erotic in the moment. Or maybe that's just her.
"What?"
"The scene? We could try it out."
She swallows angrily. "Don't you know it's impolite to read other people's books?" She asks, flustered all of the sudden, and a little upset he interrupted her reading. Though maybe that's a good thing. She feels the slight pain at the bottom of her stomach, and she knows she has no place, or way, to scratch the itch.
"Well, it's theoretically my book," he snickers, and grins. "I wrote it."
"Yeah, right. And I'm the first lady," she mutters back, eyeing him suspiciously.
He smiles, takes the book out of her hands, and turns it around. On the back cover, there is a photo of the man she was admiring earlier. The man that really does look much like him. Only then, she takes a closer look at the "intruder". He's tall and handsome. She should have noticed that before. He's wearing glasses, and there is a bit of scruff on his face, but it only makes him look hotter. Damn she really shouldn't read sex scenes in public.
She swallows deep and takes the book away from him, the blush spreading from her neck to her face. He was watching her read the book he wrote. Watching her read the erotic section. Suddenly, she feels self-conscious.
"Your choice," he whispers to her ear, before getting up and heading towards the back of an airplane.
She looks after him like he's crazy, his scent still lingering around her where his skin nearly touched hers. Her skin feels hot, the sweater she's wearing suddenly providing too much heat. But he's hot, and she's single, and she had decided a while ago that she needs to live her life and try more things.
Before she can convince herself not to, she gets up on her feet and starts moving towards the lavatories. There is a small waiting area, and that is where he is currently standing. There are two other people before him. She takes a deep breath and stands next to him.
She can see the corners of his lips turning upwards, and it irritates her. Is she so predictable? The wait is making her frustrated. The flight attendant moves past her, and she is forced to step back, right into him. She stumbles slightly. His arms touch her, steadying her. He somehow manages to change this movement into a caress. Gentle. That's how his hands feel on her body, caressing her hips. It causes her already growing arousal to jump through the roof.
Two can play this game, she thinks, as she leans back into him, feeling the growing bulge in his pants.
To anyone else, they look just like two people waiting in line for the bathroom. At least that's what she hopes they look like. But she feels the heat between them. His presence is intoxicating on its own, and the expectation, and the novelty of what she's about to do is driving her to madness.
The line finally shortens, and one of the bathrooms frees up. Luckily, there is no one waiting after them, so he pushes her into the tiny space and follows himself, before anyone can see them. Their lips crash together as soon as he closes the door, their teeth clinking together from the force. She moans into him and his arms retake their earlier position on her hips.
They're aware they need to hurry, since people could come knocking any second, so he pushes her sweater up to feel her skin beneath his fingers. Without breaking the kiss, she goes for the fly of his jeans and unzips him. She thanks god that he's not wearing any belt and pulls down his clothing. His erection springs free, and she licks her lips involuntarily. If they were anywhere else, she would be so tempted by it, but the clock is ticking and she's too far gone to care.
She manages to push her leggings and her panties down. She hears the rumble of the foil and thanks the God that he's thought of that, because she surely hasn't.
Then, he picks her up, pushing her against the wall of the confined space. When he pushes into her, there is a brief second when she thinks she can see stars. They were both halfway there anyway. She was still turned on from reading the sex scene, and he from watching her read it.
She grips his shoulders for balance as he thrusts into her in a wild pace. It doesn't take long. He muffles her scream with a kiss as the climax washes over her, and he follows her right after with a moan that's silenced by her hair.
For moments, they just stand there, catching their breath and waiting for the world to stop spinning. Do the colours look brighter, or is it just her again? His lips spread into a grin and she can't help but smile as well.
They clean themselves up and get dressed quickly. Their exit is fast and careful, but nobody seems to have noticed anything unusual, or if they did, they're not showing it. They're making it back to their seats, slightly flushed and feeling very content. That's when she feels his hand on her shoulder, and her blush deepens when she realizes he's fixing her bra strap. She slips into her window seat, and he sits down next to her.
Great. Now she has to do something for the rest of the flight. Desperately, she picks up the book, hoping to distract herself, but honestly, she keeps stealing glances from the side. He's grinning at her, probably knowing what's on her mind. She would just love to wipe that cocky grin off. Or kiss off. Damn, why is he so hot!?
Finally, they announce the landing and they both put their seatbelts on.
"I really love to watch," he murmurs, leaning over her to get a better glimpse of the window. "Look at that view." She's not completely sure he's talking about the window.
The flight attendant passes them and lays two small items on each of their tables and smiles. Erin even thinks she winks at them. "I hope you had a nice flight," she says with a smile, and they both pick it up at the same time. Erin mentally forces herself not to blush again, at which of course she fails.
It's a small pin, with a plane in the middle with a simple text.
Mile high club member.
"So…"
"So…"
"How long are you in the city for?" He asks after the brief pause filled with awkwardness.
"Don't know yet, depends on how my case goes," she explains. "I'm a detective."
"How about a drink then? Detective?"
She thinks for a second and nods. If for nothing else, then because she's curious. The brief encounter in the lavatory rocked her world for a second, so she's curious what he can do with a little more time and a lot more space. But she's also intrigued by this man she's just had mind-blowing sex with.
"I'm staying at the Fairmont, down at the bay. There is a great bar. I'll meet you there tonight?"
"Okay. 7-ish?"
"Sounds good," he confirms and their eyes meet.
"I should really get going," she murmurs. He nods, grabbing her arm. He pulls her in for a passionate kiss that takes her breath away.
"See you."
And just like that, he's gone.
They meet in the bar, on the terrace overlooking the bay. It's beautiful.
She expects the awkwardness to return, but it's gone, and they slip into a comfortable conversation. She notices that he's wearing the mile-high pin, and it brings back the earlier blush every time her eyes catch it. The wine and the good conversation slowly creep their way into her system. But wine is not the reason for which she ends up kissing him again. And it's definitely not the reason she ends up in his hotel room. That's all him.
He takes his time the second time around. Wanting to feel everything they had no time to feel before. He undresses her slowly, but decisively, and she returns the favour between gentle, burning kisses. When they're completely naked, he walks her to the bed and lays her down.
"Beautiful," he murmurs. Her body gets worshipped by his kisses, and the slight scruff he wears leaves red marks on the skin of her thighs when he eats her out.
He takes her on that big bed, at a slow tempo that feels almost torturous. The climax comes differently this time. It comes in waves, leaving her shaking and speechless in his arms.
She finally manages to realize her fantasy from the plane as well, sending him into heaven with every bob of her head. When he comes, her name feels like a silent prayer on his lips.
"Wow," she whispers. "I was wondering how that would be like. You know, without the bathroom wall in my back." She feels his laughter as a vibration on his chest.
"I'll have to agree with your wow assessment."
They're sprawled over his gigantic bed, the expensive covers wrapped around their bodies. It's just after round three, well four, if you count the one on the plane. The sun is slowly going up. His room is overlooking the bay, and the window is open, letting in the warm summer air and the early rays of sunshine. She should go back to her own crappy hotel, and to her case. But somehow, she can't force herself to move. She lays her head back onto his chest and drifts into a peaceful slumber.
She barely remembers the case. She does help her friend to solve it, but the details are a little hazy. She calls in work and takes the next two weeks off. And they are full of him. Jay Halstead.
They walk around the streets of San Francisco together. He shows her the true gems, and how to avoid tourist traps. They stroll alongside the bay, and when his hand slips into hers, it's natural. It doesn't feel out of place. She finds herself fixing his hair that keeps falling on his face. They're not overthinking it.
They go to the park and she is laying on the grass, catching the sun, while he scribbles something in his notebook. Curious, she gets up and leans forward, inhaling his unique scent that has become so familiar in the past weeks.
"What are you doing?"
He smiles at her peaking over his shoulder and marvels in the feeling of her hair brushing against his skin. "I would be working. But there is a minx here, distracting me," he murmurs and pulls her into his lap, his notebook forgotten when his lips find hers.
She leans into the kiss, letting the feeling of happiness overwhelm her. Letting the falling sensation in.
She's watching the scenery. Or rather he's watching the scenery, and taking pictures, and she's watching him watch the scenery. He's much better looking than the bay anyway.
"Smile," he suddenly says, pointing his camera at her, and she does. She hasn't been able to stop smiling anyway. Maybe it's San Francisco. Or the warm weather. Or maybe it's just him.
She's not falling. She has fallen. In love. With Jay Halstead.
It hits her when they're walking the street later that day, and he's leaning closer to feel her next to him. It hits her that she never wants this to end, and the feeling is terrifying, because it most likely will. Because all the good things in her life always do.
That's when she decides she has to go, when she still owns a bit of her heart. The part that hasn't fallen for him yet.
She doesn't say goodbye. She leaves a note.
She manages to keep her tears at bay until she's on the plane. Then she realizes, flying will never be the same again, and she lets them fall, the same way she has fallen.
She works herself ragged; in order to forget; in order to stop feeling. But every time she sees a couple on the street, her heart gets pierced with a pain she didn't know a human being can withhold. But she can, and she does. Because she has to.
8 months later.
She's going for a run. It's damn cold in the city of Chicago, and she puts on her running shoes and the winter running clothes. Her iPod is ready and she sets off into the chilly day. She has a route she likes to run, because it's pretty secluded and it lets her be alone with her thoughts.
Running past a bookshop, she suddenly stops and takes a few steps back. Her deep breaths are pushing out the warm air and creating clouds in front of her, but she is still able to see the picture of the man under the 'bestselling author' title.
It brings back everything she has desperately been trying to forget for the past couple of months. The memories, the doubts, the convincing herself that she did the right thing, even though she feels it was the biggest mistake of her life. The world around her almost seems to stop for a second, and she's sure that when she opens her eyes again, his picture in the window display will disappear.
It doesn't.
She strolls in the shop on a whim, and pick up the book from the pile. It's him. It's the man she fell in love with in the two weeks they spent together. It's the man she dreamt about for months after.
The book's title is Gone and she opens it.
To E. It took one flight and two weeks for you to take and break my heart.
That's when her heart stops and a tear makes its way down her sweaty cheek. She turns the book, looking at his picture again, tracing her fingers over the familiar figure. The lips she once kissed. The eyes she once looked into.
"Handsome, isn't he?" The shop assistant asks over her shoulder, and all she can do it nod. "He's having a book signing here tomorrow, if you want to get your copy signed."
"Here? Tomorrow?" She asks, unsure if she heard it correctly. If she was ever waiting for a sign, then this is it.
"That's right. Are you okay?"
Erin doesn't answer. The book drops to the floor, and runs. She runs away from the shop, away from him, away from all the heartbreak that's threatening to assault her again.
She doesn't stop until she's down by the waterside, where she can be alone. The water calms her and there is nobody there to see the tears fall again. She lets it all out: the violent sobs, the weeps she's been holding in for weeks. It cleanses her in a way she didn't think was possible.
When she's done, she knows what she has to do.
Her heart doesn't flutter when she sees him sitting there, with his cute glasses and his hair still slightly longer than it should be. It literally jumps out of her chest and runs to him. Meanwhile she has to wait in line to get her book signed. Her chest rises and falls almost erratically. What if he's moved on? What if he doesn't feel the same anymore, or even worse, what if he hates her for what she did?
He doesn't look up when it's her turn, just takes the book and asks who he should make it out to. Her voice turns her insides into mush, and she has to stop herself from reaching out.
That's when she lays the pin onto the open book.
"To E. who will never stop regretting that she broke your heart," she says softly, and sees him finally looking up. It seems like hours. He looks at her, his eyes searching for something from behind his glasses. She hears murmurs from behind her. Not impatient, but curious murmurs, as to what is going on.
"To E. who was afraid, so she made the biggest mistake of her life." She swallows. Her heart is literally laid down for him to take and do whatever with it. It was obvious to her that she had to do something big. She had to risk it. That is why she puts everything she has left on the line.
He stands up, still holding a sharpie in his right hand, and he looks slightly stunned. For a split second, she thinks he's going to ignore her, or walk away, but then he's there and his arms are wrapping around her neck and his lips are finally where they need to be. She vaguely hears the loud thump of the sharpie hitting the floor, and the clapping around her, as she lets herself melt into him. After two weeks they had spent together, and all this time they had spent apart, they still fit together like two matching pieces of a puzzle.
When they finally manage to pull apart there is so many unspoken words, so many questions hanging in the air, but he needs to finish the book signing first, before they can talk.
He answers one of her questions with the inscription he sneaks into her copy of the book.
To E.,
Thank you for coming back to me.