Spoilers for BreakPoint 2x05 +++ Donna Centric (Donna/Harvey little bit but not too much) Episode Tag-On/
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As the elevator doors closed, through stainless steel reflection the image of him burned a little, irritating her already stinging eyes and boring into her chest like a dead weight.
If she were herself in that moment she'd make a sarcastic joke out of it all, play it off with an 'Oh Well, screwed that day' and a usual Donna-like quip to cut the tension and dispel the blame.
But she wasn't herself today. Pressure and desperate feeling will do that to a person.
And there was no 'other' day. This was the last day. She was the one to blame for that.
She should have known better. She should have listened to Mike for starters. That god damned kid had the right idea from the start. But something had been pushing at her, since the moment she felt the memo in her hands, dry and crisp, the stamp in the corner with her name signed in the middle of it. She saw her resignation there like it had been waiting in that box for her, a ticking clock counting down her time at the firm.
"Well, Maybe you shouldn't be my BOSS anymore!"
She'd been slipping all day, her reserve trickling out. Questioning herself; not only her ability to do her job but also the wildness of her motives for not coming forward with that little *piece* of paper. She knew it the moment he'd reacted to her not telling him that things had gone too far to go back.
Something so small into something so big...
All day she'd been on self-destruct, a rolling cog out of the factory threatening everything to come crashing down. A memo that lie in pieces at the bottom of the compact shredder at Pearson/Hardman .
And his eyes...
So much unsaid in them and yet the inability to say anything at all. He didn't even say goodbye. She knew Harvey Spector inside out, but in that moment? A line had been drawn. She wasn't sure what it all meant, but they weren't in the same place anymore.
She was more dangerous than even the Great White Lawyer. She would do anything to save him, his reputation, his career, his life. Anything. And in that bathroom she knew then she'd gone too far, cared too much, and feared too much, assumed far more than her job titled required.
For fear of him, herself and them.
She lent her head back against the grey cold steel, slumping her back and closing her eyes to the four walls in motion.
She'd royally screwed the whole damn deal and had in turn become a casualty of this quiet war.
Pearson/Hardman was no longer her home.
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'Stuck inside these Walls
Tell me there is hope for Me' ~ Sia 'I'm in Here' Acoustic Version