If you didn't get the title and summery, this is my RoseGarden shitpost thing. Why? I need more shitpost. Hell, the world needs more shitposts.*cough cough* gomessagemeandtellmetoputyoushitpostonmycommunity. Anyways, here you go on my poorly made 'rant' on RoseGarden.
-I'm not posting less, totally-
Alright, first thing on the chopping block. Age, aka lets put a 13 year old boy who is also possessed by a thousand year old man too! To love a 16 year old girl just because of the like five conversations they had! Like, why? One is a 13 year old boy! That's already a crime you commit when you support this shit! It's legit pedophilia! Especially when you make smut, it is literally child porn. I'm not using the word wrong like "OMG I'm literally dying right now! *laugh cry emoji* LOL" It's a 13 year old, may I remind you, is possessed by a thousand year old man too, fucking a 16 year old. That's not legal in Japan! And they have shota and the legal marriage age at 16! If they're fucking, it's pedophilia on both sides. On Ruby for fucking a 13 year old child, and Oscar because right now with how the writing is, he is just Ozpin now. That's not even questioning on the fact that fucking at a young age can damage his dick or whatever, and that it's like 3 and a half inches. Like seriously, how are you going to get peasure out of that? Go ride Jaune instead or something...you would go to the same place as Pyrrha and have a super epic fight or something.
Back on topic, age is a no go which already fucks this entire ship like every milk and cereal shipper. What? Thought I was gonna say Arkos? Nope. Alright, last thing to break open because I'm to lazy to have good and legit research like "character development" and "plot progression" lets go talk about their character interactions. "Wait, isn't that character development in a way?" Ha! Why would I know? Anyways, I'm going to repeat all places they interacted and how they interacted. One, Qrow walks in like "eeeyyyy, I found *hic* cane man! Ahahhahahhahahahhahahhahah! i'm dead inside..." and Oscar's like "You have sliver eyes..." and Ruby's like "Fock are you m8?" and Oscar goes "I'm your headmaster's host!" and then everyone except Qrow goes "Nani?! Is that a JoJo reference?!" That's all, normal introductions and all that jazz and bee movie jokes.
Next, it's all Ozpin being all pedo and controlling poor poor Oscar. That's it sooo, next!
Another one, Oscar and Ruby start doing some training, not the sexual kind you sick fuck! Ruby goes punch and Oscar goes punch and moves that shouldn't really be possible even with aura because "Ozpin op af" Then Ozpin goes frick you and goes punch and defeats Ruby making her fall to the ground, very exposed. Then, blah blah semblances and shit. Cool, nothing progressive though.
Finally, probably the part that made people ship them or whatever. Ruby's speech thing. You know, the part where the writers finally give Ruby some character development besides "Mum dead" and how she is dealing with all the whole "hey. Uh, the world's gonna die" thing. And also "You're gonna be combat ready in no time!" Sadness. Now, I guess you can say this is some sexual tension, but really it's more of character development and more insight to what characters are think. Like Oscar actually has feelings about being a host for a fucking wizard that will probably erase your soul and memories from existence. Anyways, good plot stuff, less ship stuff.
I would put more stuff, but I just skipped through like 8 episodes that I don't care about because everything that's keeping it alive is the fanfictions. So, laziness.
Well, that was my thing about RoseGarden. Why wasn't it more shitposty? I don't know. Now shut up and let me enjoy what little I can in life.
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Wait, fuck. How I'm I supposed to make an author note in a story that is based entirely on my view? Fuck.