Something Stronger

by orpheneritus

You find him behind the auxiliary gym. His shirt plastered to his skin, face turned to the sky, eyes closed. Despite the downpour you can see the occasional slide of a tear running down his cheek. You're not really the type of person who has any patience for the personal issues of others, but it's Gakuto. And though he tries your temper more than any other he has always been worth it.

You kneel down beside him, ignoring the water soaking into your school slacks. 'Gakuto?' you brush your hand over his face, but he won't open his eyes. 'It can't be that bad.'

'You don't know, Yuushi,' he replies thickly.

But you do know.

You know Gakuto better than Gakuto knows himself.

'Don't be dramatic,' you reply. 'Where are your shoes?'

'Don't have them.'

'Your school bag?' you ask with a sigh.

'With my shoes,' he murmurs.

You don't bother asking about his school blazer or tennis gear. 'Okay let's go,' but he doesn't take your hand. Some part of you feels like yelling at him, but it would only make things worse, you'll yell later when he's regained some spirit.

Instead you squat down and say, 'piggyback then?'

His arms slide over your shoulders until they clasp in front of your chest, his wet hair pressing against your neck. 'Thank you,' he breathes quietly.

'At least hold the umbrella,' you reply.

He nods and his hand takes the handle of the umbrella. You're not sure why you're bothering, he's already soaking wet and it won't be long before you are too. You can already feel the wetness of his clothes soaking through to yours.

With a grunt you grasp his thighs and rise unsteadily to your feet. 'I think you've gained weight,' you mutter. 'Fuck Gakuto. Don't bite…or I'll have you put down.'

You shiver as his wet lips brush over your neck again in unspoken apology.

Surprisingly he manages to hold the umbrella aloft as you walk steadily along the streets catching odd glances from the people passing you.

'Am I heavy?' he asks quietly.

'Yes… but I don't mind,' you reply.

'Because you love me?'

'Because you'll be carrying me to school tomorrow,' you reply with a grunt.

He smiles, you can't see it, but you can feel it through your body.

'I'm not going to school tomorrow,' he replies.

'We'll see.'

'I'm not going to school ever again.'

You don't reply.

'Where are we going?

'My place.'

He doesn't let go when you enter the door. You struggle to toe of your shoes with a fifty kilo boy on your back. When you reach your bedroom you fall backwards onto the bed crushing him beneath you.

'Yuushi stop,' he laughs. 'Can't breathe.'

You press down on him once more for good measure before rolling off. 'I'll draw you a bath okay?'

'Don't wanna.'

'Don't care. You're not laying around in my bed with wet clothes on.' You pull him up by the arms, his skin is cold to the touch.

You're careful not to make the bath water too hot, but instead to keep the room warm. Gakuto is shivering, his teeth clattering together quietly.

'Take your clothes off,' you say turning away from him. You're surprised at the strange feeling those words give you. You can hear Gakuto shifting behind you.

'Ah, Yuushi… you can go now,' he says quietly.

'No, I have to stay,' you reply turning back to your partner.

'Yuushi,' he says with a frown. 'I can take a bath by myself.'

You run your hand through the bath water to test the temperature. 'Can you? I don't know. You couldn't seem to walk home by yourself. I find you shoeless and wet…'

His head drops slightly so you can no longer see his eyes. 'Let's not talk about this Yuushi,' he says.

'Okay… take a bath then. I've seen your dick before so it's not a big surprise or anything.'

Gakuto's face goes pink. 'God Yuushi.'

'Come on, get naked,' you say with a smile seeing Gakuto's unhappiness ease a little.

Gakuto begins to tug at the buttons of his school shirt and suddenly the bathroom seems a little small. A hundred times you have seen your school friends naked, changing for tennis practice going to the baths. It's funny that undressing with just one other person would feel less comfortable than undressing with the entire third year gym class.

You make yourself busy. 'Um, here's some soap and stuff, you can clean up here and I'll get you a robe.' You excuse yourself to allow him to clean up and jump into the bath.

When you return he is already sunk into the bath up to his neck, his head resting on his knees. 'I brought you a robe to wear.'

'Thanks,' he replies.

'Is it warm enough?'

He nods. 'Yuushi…'

'Yes.'

'Rub my back for me?' he asks a small smile pulling at his lips.

You kneel down beside the bath tub, your knees slightly damp from the water on the bathroom floor. 'You're a spoilt pain in my ass Gakuto.'

'I love you too,' he replies closing his eyes with a sigh.

'I don't—' but it's not entirely true.

You slip your shirt off, the fabric sliding down over your arms. It seems practical not to get wet, but there is also the desire to be as naked as Gakuto is.

You dip your hands into the water, they brush gently against his thigh, Gakuto doesn't shift away. You don't realise you're holding your breath until you first run your hands along his back. Your breath is expelled in unison with Gakuto's soft moan. You press your thumbs gently into the tight muscles of his back, following along the spine down until your hands graze over the swell of his ass,

'Feel's good,' he murmurs.

'Feels good,' you agree with a smile. 'Give me your foot.'

'My foot,' he laughs.

'Yes, give it to me.'

Gakuto gives you a strange look, but releases his knees. It's amazing to watch his leg just extend from the knee and rise above the surface of the water. 'Show off,' you mutter grabbing his ankle and pulling the foot towards you roughly.

Gakuto loses his balance and slides under the water momentarily. 'Yuushi,' he splutters. But you apply pressure to the sole of his foot and whatever reprimand he was about to utter is lost. You think you might have a fetish for legs.

'Yuushi?' he asks as your hands slide up his calf. 'Why do you like me?'

You shrug and run your hand behind his knee which makes him twitch. 'Great forehand,' you reply.

'Yuushi, be serious,' he complains.

'I am,' you reply. 'You play a great net game.'

'So if I didn't play tennis you wouldn't like me,' he replies sullenly.

You apply pressure to the achilles with your thumb and for finger, running the along the tendon. 'If you didn't play tennis, I wouldn't know you…'

He pulls his leg from your grasp. 'That's mean Yuushi.'

It probably is, but you're not very good at this kind of stuff. 'I don't mean it to be, Gakuto.'

'Do you like me for any reasons other than tennis?' he asks folding his arms across his chest.

'I do,' you reply. For all sorts of reasons. His playfulness, outspoken conversation, the ability to seem both arrogant and vulnerable at the same time and things that you could never say like, the way his shoulders slope into a narrow waist, how he stands with one leg hooked over the back of his ankle, or the slight definition of his hips when his shirt rises.

'You do?'

'Do you see me rubbing anyone else's feet on the team?'

'I guess not,' he smiles.

The water is starting to cool off and it's time to get out. You offer him a towel and turn away as he stands to wrap it around himself. 'Do you feel better?' you ask.

'Tired, but better.'

You hand him the robe and turn away to rinse the face cloths. In the mirror you can see him drop the towel from his waist and dry off his legs. He's only fifteen but you're not sure that Gakuto will grow too much taller. Maybe his shoulders will widen out a little more, but his hips will stay narrow as they are now. You sometimes wonder if you will know him at the end.

In three months all clubs will end for third years. You will give up tennis practice for cram schools and your life could be ruined by one false step. A failure to get into the right school that will give you the kind of job that you've always expected to have, that your family expects you to have.

You're afraid of losing tennis. Of losing the connection between yourself and Gakuto, that if you don't have tennis between you, that you won't be able to help him the next time he is lost and shoeless. You have to build a new connection. Something stronger than just tennis.

'Yuushi?' his hand rests on your shoulder and you realise that the water is still running. You turn the tap off. 'Are you okay?'

You shake your head and dry your hands on the towel. 'Do you wish the world would ever stop?'

'All the time,' he says leaning into your side.

'Me too, right now would be good…'

His arm slides under yours. His fingers running along your arm until they intertwine with yours. 'I think right now would be good too.'

He looks up at you uncertainly and you are slow to realise what he's looking for. His lips are so uncertain, soft and trembling against yours. You don't want him to feel uncertain you want him to feel your certainty, your strength.

Your arms around his waist lift his feet from the ground, your neck strains forward as your mouth crushes against his, choked breaths between you. His leg wraps around you waist and you carry him quickly to the bed.

His hand tucks into your waistband and pulls you down to the bed. You're taken by surprise and you hit your head on his shoulder. 'Ouch.'

Gakuto laughs and rubs your head where you bumped it. 'Sorry,' he says and kisses the bump, which hurts a little. 'Yuushi?' he asks. 'Can I stay here? Just you and me, just like this?'

You hear what he is really asking. 'If you like,' you reply.

He kicks the blankets down with his feet and shuffles until his head rest on the pillow. When you lay down beside him he moves into your side and his hair spills across your bared shoulder. You lay quietly for a time the silence broken only by the occasional sigh.

Then everything is silent. Gakuto breathes deep and soft, his hands held in loose fists. When you are certain he is asleep you carefully roll away from him. Though the sky is dark it isn't that late and you still have time to do the things that you have to do. Quietly you pull on a sweater and grab your coat.

He lives on the sixth floor, but you hardly notice the endless climb. Your legs work steadily and don't falter on the way up. All you can think of is what you will say when you get there. He lives in apartment six-twenty-eight. The light shines from underneath the door.

The door is opened only moments after your knuckles strike the wood. He knew you would come.

'Oshitari,' he says casually stepping away from the entrance so you can enter.

'Sakaki-san,' you reply coldly.

Gakuto's shoes are lined up in front of you pointing towards the exit, as if he is still here and not sleeping fitfully in your bed more than twenty minutes away. You look up at the man you often considered a leader. His lips thinned into a tight smirk as he fishes around in his breast pocket for a cigarette.

'I assume you're here for Gakuto's things,' he says smoothly, granting you entrance.

You take off your shoes and step up into the living area. 'Yes, though more accurately, I'm here for Gakuto.'

Sakaki smiles widely. 'Please wait here Yuushi-kun. Gakuto's things are in the bedroom.

When Sakaki opens the door you can see Gakuto's blazer crumpled on the floor his school bag lying on its side. The bed is unmade.

Sakaki picks up Gakuto's school blazer by the collar as if it smells unpleasant or he finds something distasteful about it. You're surprised how much this angers you. That Sakaki should look down on what Gakuto had offered him.

'You know Yuushi-kun, he's a bit of a tease,' he says tossing the school bag at your feet. 'You sure you want him—'

You've never been the type of person who allows your temper to get the better of you. So even you are shocked when your fist meets with his face in a glancing and sloppy blow. You trip over Gakuto's bag and stumble directly into Sakaki's chest.

He pushes you off, manhandling you to the wall by the collar of your shirt. You're surprised by his strength and the anger in his face, you've never seen him as anything but calm and cold.

You grapple against him trying to gain control as you are relentlessly pushed around, Sakaki's greater height an advantage. 'You asshole,' you hiss as your glasses are knocked askew. 'You never deserved to even touch him.'

'We don't always get what we deserve do we?' He says releasing you with a push.

You pick up Gakuto's blazer from the floor. 'You'll regret this,' you say quietly. 'What you did… the school wouldn't let it go—'

You're surprised at how strong Sakaki's punch is. Your eyes water in pain and when you pull your hand away there is a blurred streak of red. Your glasses have fallen to the floor.

'They wouldn't believe you,' he replies collecting himself quietly.

Then you realise that they would. You're rich; your family powerful. You're not like Gakuto, tuition being paid by a distant and estranged father. You could crush him in a moment, in the space between moments, and he knows it.

Silently and slowly you collect your glasses and then Gakuto's belongings. Lastly you pick up his shoes that were waiting at the front door. Sakaki's voice stops you at the exit.

'How long do you think you can keep him tied to you? How long before he slips out for his daddy fix,' he asks.

You don't turn back.

'We've built something stronger,' you reply quietly.

Gakuto cries when he sees his belongings on your floor and the slowly darkening bruise on your face, but it is only a few moments. Moments that will pass quickly enough and be forgotten in time, lost in the time that you will give to him.