Disclaimer: Not mine, and not stealing... just airing them out a bit.

Author's Note: AU, starts in season 7, probably after Faith...I guess.

Please R&R I do enjoy it.

Once Mossad, Always Paranoid

Chapter 1

It was a quiet day around the office, no new cases, which meant that Tony was going to be extra annoying. That was the last thing that Ziva needed, she thought as she rushed through Security, late. Although she did have to hand it to him, he wasn't nearly as annoying as he used to be. Somalia had caused him to grow up. A lot. As it had McGee. Neither of them had deserved what they had gone through, not for her.

But what was done was done and she couldn't change it. Not that she wanted to. Being with these people made her realize something that she never had a chance to learn with Mossad. She was more than just an agent and a weapon. She was a person of value. She was worthy of having a life--not just to be ready for death.

That had changed her. Somalia had taken some of that from her, but the memory of it stayed with her through the torment. She remembered telling McGee that a trained interrogator could break a man like Gibbs in a matter of hours or days. She had lasted months. Looking back, she wasn't quite sure how she had managed it. Only that she had and that now, months later, she was still tired from the effort.

Nightmares of torment filled her nights, making her take comfort in the fact that she knew how to hide the bags that were becoming fixtures on her face. Somalia, Michael, her sister, Ari, Jenny… death and torment were never far from her when she closed her eyes. Some nights were easier, and she knew she had her friends to thank for that.

It brought her comfort to know that they were there for her. That they were willing to pull her back from the nightmares. No matter how dark they got. But she doubted that they could save her from the new darkness in her life--the nightmares that were starting to come while she was still awake. Being Mossad meant that she knew what they meant. Being Mossad meant that she had done the same to agents who tried to leave. But being NCIS she knew that no one else there would understand. But she would have to tell them. They again would have to save her.

And as her phone started to ring, and she saw the all too familiar name and number show on her call display, she really wished she could save herself.

---

Tony cocked his head to the side as he looked at his magazine. Gibbs was in a meeting with Vance and the look on his face as he left told the senior field agent that he had at least fifteen minutes to goof off before his return. That had been ten minutes ago. Tony looked up at the familiar 'ding' that told him that one of his two late comrades were coming to join him. It was McGee.

"Don't say it," the writer warned, glaring down at the older man, "I'm not in the mood."

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the typewriter this morning. What happened?"

"Family issues, nothing for you to worry about."

Looking Tim over, and being bored from being left alone for so long Tony stood and wandered over to his friend and co-worker's desk, "And by family, do you mean…sister?"

"Tony…"

He smiled, knowing from McGee's tone that he was right, "And what did the littlest McGee do this time? She's not wanted for murder again is she?"

"No DiNozzo, she isn't."

"Then what is it? Are you going to be an uncle?"

McGee sighed, "She's been abusing Aderall. It helps increase focus and attention span to help increase your grades."

"But I thought she was a little genius like you."

"She is. The stress of her program is getting to her. I found her OD'ing on my doorstep last night. But, she'll be fine and she's seeing a councillor. Where's Ziva?"

"Later than you," Gibbs said, right on time, when he strolled in.

"How do you do that?" Tony asked, moving to his desk.

"Tony, call her."

"No need Boss," he replied at the 'ding', "She's here. She also looks like hell." He finished with a concerned look.

She glared at him, throwing her things down beside her desk. Before she could say anything, however, Gibbs was on his feet, "Don't get too comfortable. We have to meet Ducky at the gate."

"Gate Boss?"

"Another dead body."

Tony glanced at McGee, "Gotta love it when they deliver."

"They even left a 'deliver to' name this time DiNozzo."

"Convienient. Whose it to?"

"Ziva."

---

TBC...