NOTHING IS TRIVIAL
Zuko entered Azula's room. She scowled; he had no right to disturb her. He already held her prisoner for 'her own good' and spoke to her like she was made of glass. It served no purpose but to make her despise him.
"I want to ask you something," he said, striding forward.
Azula looked up from her drawing. "Anything for you," she sarcastically said, glowering at him.
"I want… I want to ask if you still love Ty Lee," he stated, heart in his throat, eyes panicked. Azula saw it in him and wondered if she ought to exploit it. She ultimately decided there was no point.
"No. And I never loved her," said Azula coldly, picking back up her brush and dipping it in ink.
"Azula, I've seen how you look at her…" Zuko took a slight subconscious step back.
"Why do you care? Why does it concern you?" Azula snarled, clenching her fists.
"Because—because Ty Lee and I have been getting close," he said, flushed bright red.
"And? I noticed. I do not care. Is that not suitable evidence?" Azula let a splotch of ink fall on her beautiful painting of a dragon and angrily ground her teeth.
"I want to ask her out. I mean, we've been flirting and flirting and maybe have been on things like dates, but I want her to be my girlfriend."
"I am certain she will love that," Azula said coldly and dismissively. "You may leave."
Zuko groaned and pleaded, "Tell me the truth. I don't want to hurt you."
"It will not hurt me. Do as you please with your personal life. I lost interest in her when she betrayed me many years ago. I have had ample time to get over that petty young crush," Azula said, but her tone belied her words.
Zuko shut the door. "Can you just…?"
Azula sighed. "If I give you a moving emotional speech will you leave me alone?"
"Sure."
"And you won't speak to me like I am made of glass."
"Of course not."
Azula knew she would regret this, but she also knew it would hurt him. "I think, were it not for the Boiling Rock, Ty Lee and I could have had something real. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think she could've loved me. She meant a lot to me. Every smile, every glance from across the room, every time she made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe meant a lot to me. But she's doing all that and more with you now. I'm left wondering if I… ever meant anything at all to her."
"You did. You meant more to her than anyone else ever did," said Zuko, stepping closer then stepping away again. Azula crumpled up her drawing and threw it to the other side of the room. Zuko flinched when she did so; it was satisfying. "That's why I'm asking you for permission."
"I do not control her. She has made that evident," Azula said, gazing at the ink on her hands.
"Oh," Zuko said, shrugging.
"What makes you want to date her anyway?" Azula demanded. "What do you like about her? She was never the one you loved. She was mine."
"I, uh…" Zuko thought for a few moments. "She gets so excited about such little things. It's cute, if a bit annoying in a good way."
"Annoying?" Azula glared at him with a ferocity he had not seen in ages. "That bothers you?"
Zuko held up his hands in surrender. "No, no, it doesn't bother me. It's just surprising that someone could care so much about things that are trivial."
Azula scoffed and rolled her eyes, as if she thought he was an idiot. She probably did. "Here is some advice, because you clearly need it. Nothing is trivial."
"How so?" Zuko inquired, furrowing his brow.
"Have you ever heard of a memory ghost?"
"No. Is that some—"
"Shut up and listen, ZuZu. A memory ghost is something small that reminds you of something significant. It is the room where you had your first kiss. It is the book you read to escape when you were alone for days. It is the song you cannot hear without remembering dancing to it with someone else. It is the taste of cinnamon that you can't enjoy without missing a world you once knew. It is the flower in the gardens that makes you ache for the one that got away," Azula said. "I told her that a long time ago. Maybe she listened."
Zuko pondered his sister's words. They were strange, perhaps the strangest ones he ever heard her utter even in her madness. "It doesn't seem like you."
"Nothing is trivial," said Azula, a fire in her eyes Zuko thought was extinguished forever. "You can have her, but if you waste a single moment with that girl, if you think anything about your time with her is petty, I assure you, you will suffer like you never have before."
Zuko took his time to think about what he saw in this short conversation.
He made up his mind. "I don't want her."
"It certainly sounded like you did."
"Azula, you're my sister. I know you don't believe me but I want you to be happy. And I've noticed in life that you know you love somebody when they make you see something beautiful in something ordinary. I've tried and I know I've failed a lot of times but I'm trying. Take this." He handed her a piece of paper with writing scrawled on it.
"What is it?" demanded Azula.
"It's the speech I wrote to ask her out. I think you should have it," said Zuko.
Azula glanced over it. "This is terrible. You have absolutely no grasp on the use of words to get what you want."
Zuko stood.
As he walked away he said, "Then write a new one."
And, as soon as the door shut and she was alone, tears blossomed in Azula's eyes.
She thought she would write a new one.
Maybe she would write a new one.
She picked up the brush she was using to draw the dragon and started writing on the back of Zuko's parchment.
