As I read more and more stories, I've noticed that bad things happen to Raph, Don, and Leo the most. Don't get me wrong, I know that plenty of bad stuff happens to Mikey, but it seems that the three oldest turtles always have the worst luck. That's why I've created this story. Mikey needs to learn to be more mature. Sure everyone has their slip ups where they're immature, but Mikey has WAY too many of those. Please read and review:^)
Far far away in a different galaxy, light years away from earth, there lied a planet named Planet Boring. It was called Planet Boring because the place was...boring. Everything there was black, white, and grey. Everyone there spoke in a flat voice and there wasn't anything that ran on electricity. People never needed to work because there was no limited resources, or money. All people needed to do was walk to their back yards and there would be food growing, a clean stream for water, and if they wanted entertainment, they just made up games to entertain each other. The people were very strange. They had grey skin, white teeth and always wore black clothing. The strange thing about them was that they could change to any form they wanted. They just had to see the things they wanted to change into, then they changed.
Nobody was foolish enough to be a criminal in Planet Boring. What would they steal? Everyone owned the same amount of things, everyone had the same amount of talent, and everyone got along with each other.
That was, until one day, HE came.
HE was a very dangerous being. He had teeth like needles that size of rulers. His muscles were bigger than a 200 pound person. His eyes were a glowing, evil red color. He had nails that could tear through concrete. His body was similar to a lizard, but he was no where near the size of a lizard. He was ten feet thick and fifteen feet tall. His tongue slithered in and out of his mouth. When HE had come to Planet Boring along with all his ten million minions, everyone had thought he was just a tourist.
"Welcome to Planet Boring," said the mayor. "How can we be of service to you and your...friends?"
"You can get out of my way," HE growled.
"What is your name?" asked the mayor in his flat tone as he moved out of HIS way.
"Everyone refers to me as HE, because my name is too horrible to say." said the beast.
"How can somebody's name be too horrible to say?" asked a young man in his flat tone.
"Fine, if you're sure you want to hear it." The beast frowned.
"We are sure," the mayor said.
"My full name is," the beast paused for effect, "Gay Satan Bincher." The crowd was quiet. Finally, somebody broke the silence.
"What kind of name is that?" asked the mayor.
"MY name," said the beast as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Which name do you wish to be called by the most?" asked the mayor.
"Satan," the beast said.
"Why that one?" asked the mayor. Satan growled. This must be this boring planet's leader, he thought. Satan noticed that the man looked very nice and chubby. Just the kind of men he liked to eat for dinner. He pounced on the mayor and gobbled him up and swallowed, licking his lips satisfyingly. He was still hungry though. He saw another man and ate him. He was STILL hungry.
After two hours, Satan had eaten every single man and child, and baby in Planet Boring. The only beings he didn't kill were the ladies. Satan didn't like eating woman.
"Satan, a woman is here to talk to you." said one of his demons.
"Bring her in," the beast said. A young woman walked in. "Tell me your age, your name, and why you're here." Satan said, picking some flesh in his teeth with an enlarged tooth pick.
"My name is Cara, I am twenty two years old, and I am here because I want to know why you came to our planet." Cara said, frowning at the beast.
Satan checked her out. She had black hair, black lipstick, black nails, grey skin, and wore black clothing. Her eyes were a light grey color. Then he decided to answer. "I came from Planet Hell Fire. I went to this dismal planet because we were running low on food supplies. I like it here. You have plenty of meat all around. You are lucky you are a woman. I don't eat woman."
"Please do not eat our animals," she said. "Everybody on our planet is a vegetarian."
"Well, I'm not from your planet, remember?" Satan said, raising a brow. The woman took in a deep breath.
"I also came here to ask you what it will take to get you off the mayor's seat. Ever since you came, you have made all of our plants that we eat go on fire." She said, frowning.
"If you can have a child and bring it to me so I can eat it 24 hours after it is born, then I will leave your planet at once." he said.
"On my planet, the males have children, not the woman." she said, frowning. Satan frowned.
"That's funny, on my planet, all woman have to do is concentrate really hard, then, poof, a baby pops out of thin air." Satan said. The woman fought the urge to roll her eyes.
"I've been wondering something though," Satan said. "Ever since I was a youngling, my parents told me that Planet Earth was the furthest behind in technology. How come your planet doesn't have any electricity?"
"What is this electricity you talk about?" asked Cara. Now Satan fought hard not to roll his eyes.
"Never mind," He said. "Just get me a baby for a sacrifice, and I will leave this planet at once."
"Swear and cross your heart," said Cara. Satan suppresed a growl.
"Fine, I swear." HE said as he crossed his heart. Cara smiled triumphantly.
"You have fifteen months to bring the baby to me, if you don't bring it to me by then, I will never leave this planet." Satan said. Cara gulped. Only fifteen months! Let's see, the pregnancy was eight to nine months, which meant...she only had five to six months to find a man good enough to be the father for her child! Even though the deal was horrible, Cara nodded anyway.
As she was led out the mayor's palace, Cara tried not to panic. She had five to six months to find a nice, responsible man. Where would she find a man though? Her planet didn't have any transportation...at least not that she knew of. She gasped when she felt a demon's hand on her shoulder.
"Master Gay wants you," he said. Cara bit her lip to keep from laughing. Not that she laughed much. Nobody on Planet Boring laughed unless something seriously was funny, but nothing really was funny, so nobody laughed that often.
The demon led her back the Satan's new office. Before she could say anything, he started talking.
"I forgot, you people have no transportation. You can borrow my ship and go to whatever planet you want." Satan said. Cara raised a brow. Satan noticed and said, "I have to be fair, don't I?" It still didn't make any sense why he was being so generous, but shrugged it off as Satan led her to his space ship.
"I have a cloaking device to turn it invisible," Satan said as the two walked inside the ship. "Before you land of your decided planet, be sure to make it invisible." he said. Cara nodded. Satan noticed and kept talking. "Now right here is the thing to choose which planet you want to go to," he said, pointing at a screen. "Just state out loud which one you want to go to, and it will take you there." Satan said. Cara nodded again. "Oh, and since I'm being so generous, I'm subtracting from the time I gave you. Now you only have twelve months." Cara sighed, but nodded again. "Well, so long, I hope to see you in twelve months. Don't come back to this planet until you have the baby with you." Cara still didn't say anything and nodded again as the beast and his demons walked away. Then she turned to the screen he had told her about. Man, she had never seen any light except the one that came from the sun! This one seemed...different. Oh well. No time to think about that. She thought about all the different planets she had learned about. Nah, none of them had living beings in them. She thought back to the conversation she had had with HIM earlier. What was the planet's name again? Eth? No, that didn't sound right. Oth? No, still not right. Earth! Yeah, that was it!
"Take me to planet Earth," she said to the screen.
"Yes m'am." the machine said, and she felt herself going up. She then felt herself going super sonic speed and almost lost her lunch. She was glad she didn't have to do this again until her twelve months were up.
When she finally arrived at Planet Earth, she was surprised at what she saw. There was more strange lights, strange food, and strange people. Everything here wasn't so...boring. She saw that she looked different from these people. She didn't want them them to look at her strangely, so she made her skin color change from grey to white. She thought she looked strange without grey skin, but shrugged it off. She was going to have to fit in with these people if she was going to make a baby with one of them. She looked at the sun and saw that it was 4:30 P.M. She walked around and put her hand on a man's shoulder.
"Why you touchin' me for?" the man said.
"Where am I?" the woman asked. The man rolled his eyes.
"Great, all I need is anothah looney person after me." The man said. He looked at her clothes and makeup."Especially a gothic one."
"Sir, I do not know what looney or gothic is, all I wish to know is where I am." Cara said. The man growled.
"New York City," he said, "The greatest city in the world." She smiled. If she was in the greatest city in the world, then she would most likely find a good husband! She walked some more and more until it became night. She guessed by the position of the moon that it was about 9 P. M. Cara walked into an alley. She heard somebody talking and hid behind a dumpster. She gasped when she saw somebody with a dragon tattoo drag a skinny young girl into the alley.
"Please don't hurt me," the woman pleaded. Before the bad men could respond, another skinny man that looked like the woman ran into the alley.
"Hey, get away from my sister!" the man yelled. Cara couldn't help but gasp as the bad men shot the man in the head and he fell to the ground.
"You hear sometin' Bobby?" asked one of them.
"Nah, it was just the wind or something like that, now let's take care of this woman." the one called Bobby said. They crowded around the woman, and Cara decided she had had enough; she was going to kill these men. She went out her hiding spot and grabbed one of them by the collar of their shirt and threw him inside the open dumpster. Then she grabbed the other and grabbed him by his wrist and twisted so hard that his body flipped. She helped the woman up and the woman thanked her then ran out the alley. Cara was confused when the bad man took out a cell phone and called for some help. She had never seen a cell phone before. She gasped when a bunch more people with dragons on them started to attack her, she couldn't defeat all of them by herself. She was strong, but not strong enough to do this. She counted the heads and there was approximately thirty two people she was fighting.
Just as she thought she was going to die, four mutant turtles came out of no where and fought off the men with such ease that it made Cara embarrassed. She looked at the turtles. One had a blue bandanna, one had a purple bandanna, and the others had a red and orange one. When they finished fighting off the men, she backed away slowly. These men looked a bit like HIM, but they had shells and they weren't as broad or tall as him. She knew that since they didn't eat the men, that they weren't evil.
"Thank you," she said in her flat tone. The turtles were quiet at first, but then the blue banded one spoke first.
"You won't tell anybody about us, will you?" he said.
"I will not," Cara said. "Please tell me what your names are."
"My name is Leonardo," said the blue banded one.
"Raphael," said the red banded one.
"Donatello," said the purple banded one.
"Michelangelo, but my everyone calls me Mikey," said the orange banded one. As soon as Mikey spoke, Cara knew he was the one she wanted. She was going to get close to him, then they would...do their thing.
"My name is Cara," she said. She knew that these beings weren't normal on this planet, so she was going to tell them where she was from. "I am from Planet Boring." Raph and Mikey didn't try to suppress their chuckles. Don and Leo tried not to laugh. "I do not get what is so funny." Cara said. "My planet is called Planet Boring because it is the most boring planet in the world. Everything there is black, white, and grey. There is no electricity there. If we want entertainment, we entertain ourselves by making up games. On my planet, we do not need to work. The food we eat grows in our back yards without us having to work, and everyone has a stream behind their house for water. Everyone has the same amount of belongings, nobody is mean." She didn't include the part about HIM coming to her planet.
"Why'd you come to Earth then?" Leo asked. Cara wasn't a good liar, so she gulped. She decided to tell the truth.
"It is...too painful to talk about." said Cara. "All I can tell you is that I was sent here for twelve months, and for that period of time, I do not have any place to stay."
"Can she stay with US Leo?" Mikey asked.
"Can you give us a moment?" Leo asked her. She nodded. The turtles huddled up. "Guys, we can't just take somebody to our home who we barely know. We don't know if she's lying or not..." Raph and Don nodded in agreement, but Mikey pouted and did his puppy dog face. Finally Leo growled and said, "We'll see if she's trustworthy or not." They turned back to her. Leo walked up the her and looked her in the eye.
"If you hurt any of my family in any way, you will regret the day you were born," he said. She nodded. Leo still wasn't sastisfied. "Look me in the eye and tell me that you won't hurt any of us." She looked him in the eye.
"I cross my heart that I will not hurt any of your family," she said. Leo nodded.
"Come with us," he said. The turtles jumped into the sewer and she followed close behind. When they got to the lair, she was surprised. They lived in a nice place. Mikey grabbed Cara's arm and took her with him.
"C'mon, you can stay in the room with me!" he said happily. Cara couldn't help but smile. This was going to be easier than she thought.
So should I finish this or not? Did I put humor that was too inappropiate? I'm not sure, make sure to tell me in a review. I think it's pretty good.