Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Cept maybe the plot of this story.

A/N: Okay, so I've been wanting to help the Zack/Reno shipping cause, and now here I am with a multi-chaptered fic. This chapter is light and rather humorous, but it gets dark (and I hope better) as time goes on.

Dedicated to: ChaosGarden, Gwaeren, ShinyObsessed and others for providing us with some Zack/Reno, and kudos to ChaosGarden for almost having completed the first multi-chaptered with plot Zack/Reno fanfic here. This is also dedicated to all you Zack/Reno fans (even those still in the closet) that desire more Zack/Reno.

Nothing sucks more than being the new guy. People usually go "It's so incredible to start anew in a career!" Oh yeah, real incredible. Nothing can compare to those dirty looks all the veteran employees give you, as if your sole purpose of being there was to try and steal their jobs. Or the scrutinizing gazes of the secretary, wondering if in a few years you'll be successful enough to sleep with in order to claw their way up the corporate ladder. Of course, the whole secretary bit might have been somewhat exaggerated and from clichés driven by TV movies, but the "You're only nasty, sticky gum on the bottom of my shoe" look was pretty spot on, and only to prove the point farther to the newcomer, his new boss Tseng was a pro at it.

Said Wutaian was sitting behind his desk, gazing at the new kid with his black fathomless eyes which gleamed sharply with intelligence, the kind of intelligence that could slice you from throat to pelvis, your innards spilling out onto the floor in a bloody and gory heap. Hell, the newbie could almost smell his own carnage just by looking at his new boss. He could've sworn that not a word had been spoken in the last ten minutes, and it was driving him mad. He felt an urge to move or yell or make one of his trademark smart ass comments. But he kept his trap shut, because he knew that at this stage, all he had to do was piss this guy off and he'd be tossed back out into the slums, which was a definite no-no.

The obvious contrast between the two males wasn't exactly helping to ease the suffocating quiet. In fact, it only made the atmosphere even tenser, putting him on edge. That blasted Head TURK, on the other hand, seemed perfectly relaxed despite his alert demeanor, and that just made it worse for the new guy. Tseng looked impeccable; his dark suit was perfectly ironed and creased without a wrinkle in sight, his shirt perfectly white, his tie tied perfectly straight, and even his hair was perfectly done, not a single hair out of place, the ponytail directly in the middle of the back of his head. He was well composed; assertive, yet tactful. His countenance reflected utter cool and calm, while his aura warned you that he could easily kill you seven times over before you could even blink. Overall, he was the perfect example of the perfect TURK, much like General Sephiroth was the perfect example of the perfect SOLDIER, something that Mr. New Guy was all too aware of.

Speaking of Mr. New Guy, he couldn't look more different from the man who he now worked under. Even though he had been given the mandatory TURK uniform, he greatly lacked the professionalism that the office's other occupant had. His shirt wasn't tucked in, his jacket was unbuttoned, and he wasn't wearing a tie. Not that he didn't at least try to get it on; he just couldn't figure it out. In the slums, only some of the higher ups in the mobs wore suits and ties. Most people didn't wear such things, let alone someone in Reno's former career. So he ditched the tie and since the shirt looked lame buttoned up all the way without it, he left the top few buttons undone. Opposite of Tseng's neat black hair tied back in a neat high ponytail, his brilliantly red unruly locks were messily tied into a low ponytail. Coupled with the fact he was standing with a slouch with his hands shoved in his pockets, he really did look like a sleazy slum rat and not at all like a TURK. Or more like a sleazy slum rat that was trying to be a TURK, which was the truth.

To a lot of people, the TURK wannabe was confident, borderline arrogant, but to more trained eyes was anxious. You could see in the way his jaw was set and the ever so slight indention in the side of his bottom lip that indicated that he was chewing it that he was nervous as a bloody long tailed cat in a room full of walking chairs. And a herd of rampaging chocobos. Ah hell, just go ahead and add a couple hundred behemoths to the list; he was about to go insane.

Tseng was baiting him, toying with his anxious emotions. The red-haired teen was sure of it, and felt an icy tingle crawl up his back. Normally he'd shoot off his mouth and make full use of his cheeky little tongue, but the rumors held him back.

Yes, he was a devout believer in rumors and gossip, listening to them, passing them along, making a few himself, he was an expert at it. Not to say he buys all the crap, but when it comes to something as big as this, they make an annoying echo in his mind, as it was doing now.

The one pestering him now was the one that said Tseng would tell you that you had made it, went through all the speeches and crap, and then called you to his office. It was there that if you did the very slightest thing he didn't like, he'd throw you back out where you were found. It wasn't until he gave you the papers with your new name and your new home on it that you were safe. Of course, the newbie wasn't sure if this was true, but he wasn't about to risk it. He could mouth off to Tseng later when his head wasn't under the guillotine.

But those eyes. They were taunting him. Ripping him to pieces and throwing them up in the air, letting him fall down on broken glass, running over him in monster trucks before going to play golf, or tennis, or get plastic surgery, or whatever it was important people did. All these thoughts running through his head, he couldn't take it anymore.

"Well?!" he asked, his impatience showing in his voice.

Tseng raised a delicate eyebrow. "Well what?"

The teen grit his teeth for a moment. "Am I really in?"

Tseng leaned back a little in his seat. "Did I mention you in the ceremony?" he asked, as though questioning an idiot.

"Yeah."

"Then yes, you are 'in'," he assured, as though saying that one plus one really does equal two. "Now, you have been standing there for twenty minutes, wasting over a quarter of an hour of my time. Are you satisfied?"

That. Fucking. Bastard. "Yes, sir."

"Very well. Here are your papers that contain your new name, among other things which I expect you to look over." Tseng handed some papers to the newbie, who took them and scanned over the front page.

"Your partner will be waiting for you at the entrance. I suggest you get going-"

Before Tseng could even finish, the newbie was out the door. Shaking his head and settling down for some paperwork, he couldn't help the small smirk that twisted his lips. Mind fucking was so much fun, especially when that mind belongs to the most aggravating TURK he had ever had the displeasure of being the mentor of.

Another teen was striding down the hall, a certain spring in his step and papers in his hand. His mentor had told him to give them to Tseng's secretary. Now, why was a cadet doing that? Because said cadet's mentor was down with a very, very bad case of the flu, and said cadet was bouncing off the walls since he wasn't getting the extra training said cadet's mentor provided him with.

Now one may ask why another First Class didn't fill in as his temporary mentor. Well you see, although this cadet was liked by nearly everybody, was brimming with potential, and when he actually sat down and concentrated, got high marks on written tests, he had a flaw or two. For he was also one of or the most hyperactive person in the entire ShinRa army, and that coupled with the fact that he was notorious for having the attention span of a gnat had pretty much the same effect of a flamboyantly gay hairstylist waltzing into an old-timey country barbershop. If that wasn't clear enough, it meant no one would dare even think of teaching him. It'd take someone with the patience of a saint, and the only man with that description working for the ShinRa Electric Company was one Angeal Hewley.

Unfortunately, the ShinRa Saint was a bit preoccupied at the moment, busy running a fever and bowing to the not-so-shiny-anymore porcelain throne, hurling up the road kill stuffed between two stale pieces of bread that the cafeteria menu had called in such a politically correct way mystery meat hamburgers. All Angeal could hope was that it was squirrel or cat or dog, and not some poor, disease-ridden hobo that had dug through the trash too close to the street. …That poor, poor disease-ridden hobo. He never saw it coming.

The cadet was lost in thought when he suddenly collided into something, knocking that something to the ground, along with his papers. Blinking, he looked down at that something, which turned out to be a person, or more specifically, a certain newbie TURK, surrounding by sheets of paper.

The world seemed to stop for one breathtaking moment as vibrant violet met electrifying turquoise. Unbeknownst to them, simply meeting had a worldwide effect. All over Gaia, everyone felt a wave of something otherworldly, powerful, and good pass through them. For a moment the clouds parted and the sun shone brighter, and where on the globe it was night, the stars shone with a previously unknown brilliance.

But for one new TURK and one cadet, none of this was noticed. The cadet's expression then turned sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck "Heh, sorry Miss. Didn't mean to bump into you."

The 'Miss' glared up at him. "I'm not a chick, yo! You a retard or something?"

The cadet blinked, looking utterly confused and like the puppy he was often compared to. "Huh?"

The TURK huffed and got up with ease. "I'm a guy!"

Listening to the other teen's voice and taking another look at his body, the cadet found that despite his rather feminine and delicate boned face, the TURK was indeed a guy. And his body was rather slender, and so the cadet justified in his mind that anyone could have made the same mistake. Still…

Feeling a bit embarrasses, the cadet said "Sorry about that. Guys from where I'm from are way bigger than you." That was true. In fact, as if nature itself was trying to prove this point, the cadet was a good few inches taller than the other boy, and had more muscle on him from a life of farming. And the old-fashioned way, since in Gongaga, only wusses (aka the more wealthily inclined) used new technology.

But judging from the TURK's even more ticked off expression, he wasn't appeased. "And just where are you from that everybody's a freakin' giant?"

"Gongaga!" And even a deaf man could hear the pride in his voice.

The other snorted. "Ah. So you're a country bumpkin. That explains it. So tell me, are all people from Gongaga as stupid and soft as you? Must be."

Now it was the cadet's turn to be insulted. "Hey, you leave Gongaga out of this! Where the hell are you from anyway to be getting off like that?!"

"I was born and raised in the slums. Softies like you wouldn't last a day."

"Ohhh," the cadet nodded his head as if in understanding. "So that's why you smell like sewage and fumes. That's your natural smell."

The TURK had had enough. Whipping out his EMR, he aimed it at the cadet, hoping it would shut him up.

The cadet just blinked at it.

"What?!" the redhead asked testily.

"…You're gonna fight me with a dildo?"

The next thing the cadet knew, he had been moderately electrocuted and was lying on the

floor. Blinking, he sat up with a groan and saw that the TURK was already at the other end of the hall. Damn, that hurt! What the hell had he done to the other to really deserve that? Bloody sadistic TURK!

Cursing under his breath and plotting revenge, he stood up and began picking up his own papers. He discovered that one, however, did not belong to him, and had a picture of the TURK in a corner, and had some basic information about him on it. Well, well, well.

He looked at the spot the TURK was when he turned the corner and left the hall, letting a big (and evil, if you ask some people) spread across his face. "Looks like I'm gonna see you again, Reno." With that, Zack Fair picked up the rest of his papers and resumed his task of giving (all but one of) them to that pretty little secretary.

Welp, here's the first chappy! Please leave a review, it'd make my week! :3