Hey fanfic community! First time writer here :) So I have this story on my mind that I finally decided to write down and… I don't really know if it's worth something? I can't decide whether I should continue with it and hope I get better the more I write, or if I'm just hopeless and should give up. Anyways, I had this on my mind for a while and although the force-bond fic is not my original idea (Lol never could be) I haven't seen anybody do with it what I had in mind… so I decided to write it.
Could you let me know what you think? Oh! And English is not my first language, so my apologies for the mistakes that are surely in this fic hehe.
The dreams had been haunting her for over a month.
Vivid flashes of lights, memories of laughter and screams. It took Rey a few days to realize that they weren't dreams at all, but rather memories.
The first night it happened, Rey woke up with the nagging feeling of a dream tugging at the corners of her mind. However, as the day went on the memory faded with more urgent matters such as her training or the planning of a safe route back to the resistance to bring Luke Skywalker.
She had gone back to the ship in search of telemetry instruments for her charting, when she looked out at the vivid blue of the ocean before her. It wasn't unusual for her to do so, after a life spent amongst a sea of warm orange hues, the cool light-blue of the immense ocean always made her stop and stare. But this time she felt something other than the usual breathlessness that came with that immensity.
Rey saw him.
A child, of no more than five, running and laughing happily at the person chasing him. There was something familiar about him, she had mused, but the more she tried to remember his face the more it faded, the dream refusing to come to reality.
Finally Rey had shaken herself, the dream was probably about some of the many little boys she had met in her scavenger tours back on Jakku. The dream that had been nagging her had been remembered and she could move on and focus on something else.
But the dream came again the next night, and the next, and the next. Sometimes Rey would wake up, fumbling in the dark, looking for something that wasn't there. But when she tried to remember, all that came to mind was the little boy.
Tonight was no different. Rey laid on her bed in the Millennium Falcon, eyes hard on the ceiling trying to forget the intrusive thoughts that had been plaguing her all this time.
A part of her wondered whether Kylo Ren was awake too, his thoughts going back unceasingly to the past.
After all, these were his memories.
There had been something about the little boy that she couldn't quite shake. The first few nights, after the dreams persisted Rey began to suspect they weren't dreams at all. When she dreamt, it was often messy and strange. What she saw had the taste of a memory written all over it; the boy always doing something, running and playing, in class among other children, locked in a motherly embrace. The images had order and coherence and logic, they had to be something else.
And one day she realized. There was something the boy did that felt incredibly familiar in all the wrong ways. It was in the way he moved, in how his eyes sparkled with intelligence at some challenge. Rey couldn't help but remember when she had been taken captive by the First Order and had met the infamous Kylo Ren. No matter how much she tried, and she did, she couldn't forget the monster that had tortured her, killed his own father and left Finn on the brink of death.
These were the memories of a younger Kylo Ren, Ben, as Han Solo had called his son… right before he killed him. There were memories of a happy child, before he was corrupted by the dark side, but they were Kylo Ren's nonetheless.
She had told Luke immediately, fearing that this was something regarding the force that she yet didn't understand. That by him invading his mind once, he could do it again at will. What would that make of her life? What would it mean if the First Order already knew of their location?
And why all she ever saw were the strangely happy memories that that monster had made as a child?
Luke had encountered the news with confusion, and Rey didn't know whether to be glad or feel more afraid. But finally Luke came to a conclusion; if Kylo Ren were able to get inside her mind, he had said with growing certainty, they would definitely tell.
But that kind of control would only be possible on non-force users and at close range. None of which, luckily, applied to their current situation.
"Why does it keep happening then?" Rey had asked, worried that her lack of experience could become a problem, and determined to fix it. She had to get him out of her head.
That was when Luke began to look uncomfortable.
"It's... possible that a bond was formed when you two met."
"A bond?" Rey blinked, unsure of what to make of it but already fearing it was bad. "What kind of bond?"
"Well, it was not unusual for force users to create bonds while training. A Jedi master and their Padawan would create a connection that would help them through their training and then throughout their whole life, if they wanted to. Your case is rather different," Luke said thoughtfully, "you are both strong in the force, but rather inexperienced."
"But Kylo Ren," even saying his name was an effort for her, somehow fearing that the mere mention of it would evoke said person. "He's been training since a young age, I barely just heard of the force. Can he use that against me?"
"Kylo is trained, yes, but he is not as powerful as you think. When he-" Luke cleared his throat, his eyes showing pain at the memory of the past. "When he left he was only a child, a powerful and strong force-user, but a child nonetheless. Snoke trained him to enforce his power over others, to hurt and control, but he also kept him ignorant of his true potential. I doubt he know as much of the force as he would like to think.
What you are telling me seems more like a collateral damage of sorts. Neither of you wanted this bond, but it was forged due to the merging of minds. I can give you training so that this tendril of connection can't be used against you, but it will soon fade."
Problem for Rey was, it hadn't. She had built the walls around her mind like Luke had taught her, but the images kept coming. Luke explained it as a radio transmission without recipient; Rey could receive glimpses of his mind, but Kylo Ren was not aware of them or of her. This gave her peace, though not as much as she would like.
She couldn't stop thinking of the smiling boy, tight in his mother's arms.
Kylo Ren had seemed like a perfectly normal child, and that terrified her.
So, what do you guys think? Do you think it's worth continuing? I do have ideas on how the story is going to go, I just feel like my writing is too crappy to make something meaningful for it.