Warnings: Includes twincest (twin-incest, but if you didn't know that, then I'm wondering if you read these books), and the beginning of sex but its not descriptive which is why its rated T.
I just love Tyler and Tanner Nudo. I honestly wonder what happened to them after the end of Snow Angel. I hope they figured things out. I may write more for this, but not right now. For now it'll be a completed one-shot. If you want to read more, feel free to add it to alerts so that I know if anyone is interested.
The sound of heels clicked against the floors and Tyler glanced up from the magazine he was looking at to see his mother finishing fixing up her hair as she walked into the living room in a pale pink dress, white shoes, and a pearl necklace. Tyler had to admit, she looked really nice in the clothes—the color suited her skin color and dark hair well, he just wished his dad would appreciate it unlike how he was positive he wouldn't.
"Your father and I should be home sometime late tonight, but I trust you and Tanner to behave and not cause any trouble." She was facing a mirror so that her back was turned to Tyler and the sixteen year old looked back down at his magazine.
"Of course we won't, mom." He didn't see why they had to go through this every time. His parents had been going to parties practically every week since the week that he and his twin were born—and that was back in 1937!
"Good, good. Well, there are some leftovers in the fridge if the both of you get hungry. I trust you two know what to do with them." She turned, giving a small smile. "Where is your brother anyway?"
"He just called and said he would be back real soon; he was with a friend." Tyler also wanted to know where his brother had been disappearing too increasingly. There was a part of him that was jealous of whatever was stealing his twin's attention away from him, but then there was a larger part that kept forcing it away; trying to get those feelings to disappear.
It would be one thing if they were a brotherly jealousy, but these weren't and Tyler didn't want to feel that way anymore. When they had first started their relationship, the feelings had been new to both of them, and it had been so forbidden in more ways than just the homosexual act of it—it was also incest, and a part of that taboo was just so attractive to the two of them. They were doing these things under everybody's noses and while rumors had been going on since they were twelve, nobody had ever really thought they were true, which is why they had gotten none of the treatment Kurt had gotten when the rumor about him being a homo had gone around.
Tyler could just imagine the hell that he and his brother would have gone through had anybody actually believed that the two of them were "butt buddies"—as they were so often called. Not only would people be horrified that they were both homosexuals, but the fact that they were brothers and in a sexual relationship would just add miles onto the already sick perversion of it.
He wished he could say that none of it was true, but it would be a lie. Around the same time the rumors had started had been about the same time he and Tanner had begun… experimenting. Neither of them had really felt guilty at first. It was just so amazing, and hot, and what an experience! But now as they were growing older, Tyler felt a little sick at what the two of them were doing—a little guilty.
Not to say he didn't still enjoy it, because he did—immensely. It was one of the reasons he hadn't yet ended it for good. That and the fact he didn't want to hurt Tanner's feelings.
Although he was positive that Tanner had the same reservations about their relationship that he did, Tyler wasn't quite so positive about just how much Tanner wanted to move past this phase in their life.
Tyler knew that this couldn't go on forever. What were they doing to do? Start dating? No—that was quite impossible.
"Anyway, I better get going; I told your father I would meet him." His mother's voice broke him out of his thoughts and Tyler barely had time to say bye before she had kissed him on the head and made her way out of the house.
He looked back down at the magazine. He already knew how the night would end. He and Tanner would go to sleep only to later awaken to the sound of arguing when his parents got home. It was always that way. They were both so busy during the week that they hardly saw each other at all, but then during the days of their parties, they'd go out only to get into an argument over some stupid little thing. Tyler vaguely wondered if there were any other families quite as messed up as his.
Sighing, he got up and walked over to the phone, picking it up to call Kurt to see if he wanted to come over and hang out only to stop and remember—oh yeah, Angel is back.
It wasn't as if he had forgotten. Quite the contrary, in fact. After all, they had all been through quite a lot and Angel had been back for quite awhile, but sometimes it was almost easy to forget. He had become close to Angel since he had gotten back, and he had become very close to Kurt over the last few months, and some small part of him still wished that Kurt would choose him, but he knew that was impossible.
Kurt loved Angel and Angel loved Kurt and Tyler was happy for them. Honestly. It wasn't every day boys like them found somebody to love, especially in a place like Blackford, Indiana. Although, he hardly thought it necessary to add the "especially" to it, seeing as it was 1953 everywhere, and he doubted that very many homos found anybody to love, or even anybody who was like them. They were all in hiding.
In that way, Tyler was rather lucky. He had Tanner. Even if their relationship was less than… appropriate for two brothers to have, they had shared something that would bring their twin and brotherly bond to new heights—heights he doubted had ever been reached before (or at least very much so).
Even in his own guilt over this relationship, Tyler couldn't exactly bring himself to regret the fact that they had had such a relationship. It was nice to know that no matter what happened in the future; he had somebody whom he could turn to who would understand everything that he was going through, because Tanner was going through exactly the same thing.
The front door slammed shut, the sound snapping Tyler from his thoughts. It seemed Tyler was feeling rather thoughtful today, something which he had come to think of as never a good thing, yet it had been happening increasingly. He was sixteen now, and in just two years he would be eighteen and then he and his brother would be graduating.
They needed to have a serious talk about where this relationship was heading, because one thing was for sure—it couldn't last forever.
"Did mom already leave?" Tanner questioned, walking over and plopping down onto the couch next to Tyler. Their shoulders pressed together and Tyler could already feel the warmth begin to spread over his body.
It was so normal to him that it actually sort of scared him. He and Tanner had always been close—they were twins, after all—but at age twelve things had started taking a turn. One day they had been playing with some toys or cards when they were supposed to be in bed asleep. It had been very random and Tyler hadn't seen it coming at all but Tanner had kissed him right on the lips.
It hadn't been the first time they had kissed, but all the others were quick pecks siblings and little kids gave each other—nothing that warranted the surprised noise Tyler had made or the blush that Tanner had given in response. It had been different somehow, and they both knew it.
The kiss had really seemed merely a quick peck like those they used to give each other, but they hadn't given each other it in more than year. Sometimes, they would've kissed each other on the cheek, but normally that was only when one of them was feeling rather sad or frightened of something and needing cheering up. This one, on the other hand… this one had been out of nowhere.
One minute, Tyler had been slamming his car into Tanner's, and then the next their lips were pressed together. It had been quick, wet, and even a little bit sticky. It had been awkward and obvious that it was the kiss of a twelve year old, but Tyler had found that it felt rather nice once he had gotten over the shock that it had been his twin brother that had kissed him.
And truth be told, Tyler had wanted to kiss something for awhile. The first thought in his head had never been his brother, but it had never had been a defined person, anyhow. The only thing of any strangeness was that it had always been a guy he had wanted to kiss, not a girl like how most other boys wanted to kiss.
Tanner had stammered an apology—something of which shocked Tyler to no end. His brother had hardly ever stammered. He had always been just as outgoing, loud, and joking as Tyler was, sometimes even more so.
There had just been something about the blushing that Tyler found cute, and it had made him want to kiss him back, so he had. Tyler had leaned right on forward and pressed his lips against Tanner's. The kiss was mostly the same except for the fact that it lasted longer, and this time there had been odd flipping in his stomach, and it made him feel almost nauseous, yet at the same time, it hadn't been unpleasant.
When Tyler had pulled back, Tanner was blushing even darker. He quickly muttered a "G'night" and ran over to his bed. Tyler just sat there for a couple of minutes, not really doing anything in particular, not having wanted to move before he too finally had decided that he was tired and ready to get some sleep himself.
"Yeah, she left just a couple of minutes ago."
"Good, I missed her, then." Tyler gave a small smile at that. The two of them didn't really try to miss their parents, but it wasn't that bad and it was normally favored. They had both long since gotten used to having the house empty and to themselves; they liked it that way.
He felt Tanner's arm press harder against his and he could tell that it was done purpose. Their knees knocked against each other, the matching dark jeans nearly blending together. It was one of the days the two of them had decided to dress they same—they always loved the way nobody could ever tell them apart. It was easy when they were wearing different clothes as long as they said their names, of course.
Tyler felt a hand slipped over his thigh—one so like his own, and yet it was so completely different. Fingers lightly pressed against his jeans and he could feel the heat start traveling to him, the light throb of blood in his lower half. He took in a breath, looking at the hand, fighting to keep from reciprocating but it was hard—pun not intended.
Tanner leaned close to him, his own dark hair brushing against his skin. Tyler's breath hitched at the press of lips to his jaw line, but he just continued to stare down. He couldn't give in, yet he couldn't move away either—what was he supposed to do in this situation?
It was not an easy thing to do to fend off the sexual advances of someone you're extremely sexually attracted to (call him a narcissist if you will) as well as emotionally dependant on. He loved his brother, and he always would love his brother. He just wished the sexual attraction would… go away.
A hand moved over him and Tyler jumped up, looking anywhere but at his brother. He ran his hands down the sides of his jeans, swallowing tightly. He was aroused, and it was obvious to anyone who would just look at the front of his jeans. The woe of being a teenager—he couldn't control his own hormones, but he wanted to. Too bad he didn't think it was possible.
"Is something wrong, Tyler?" Tanner appeared confused but there was something in his voice that hinted he had guessed what was wrong and Tyler glanced over at him, sighing.
Tyler sat back down on the couch. He felt bad in so many ways, he wondered if it was even possible to count them all. "This… we need to talk about this, Tanner."
Tanner stared at him with his dark eyes before glancing away and licking his lips, nodding. "Yeah, I know we need to." Tyler couldn't help but follow the way his twin's tongued flicked over the soft skin of Tanner's lips. He wanted to lean forward and kiss him, to playfully make their tongues battle, but knew that'd be the opposite direction of where Tyler was trying to go.
It was still difficult though; to not to just give in. Tyler knew that both of them wanted to, but they also both felt guilty for this relationship they shared. It wasn't healthy and it wasn't right—but then, that's what they had heard about homosexuality as well, and neither of them saw anything wrong with that. But still…this wasn't about their homosexuality; this was about them being twins.
If only they weren't related, Tyler was pretty sure he could fall in love with Tanner, but he wouldn't trade having him as a brother for that.
"I've been meaning to talk to you about it for awhile, you know." Tyler told him lightly, gently as to not make it come across as he was rejecting Tanner. He loved his brother dearly, and that was the main reason it had been taking so long to have this conversation. He knew Tanner had the same reservations, but he also knew that there had to be something holding Tanner back from taking the step of talking to Tyler about this himself.
"I know that too. I also know that's it's not going to be an easy conversation for either of us." Tanner was right about that. It wasn't going to be an easy conversation for either of them. This had been going on for so long, it was difficult to figure out just how to stop it, how to break away from each other.
Even if they decided to end this relationship right then, Tyler knew it wouldn't be that easy. They'd probably have slip-ups, especially because they were so close. They shared a room, a house, everything. There was no way this would be easy, nor would it be very much fun. But it couldn't go on. They had to stop it sometime.
"This… thing has been going on for so long, even I'm not sure how to quite stop it." Tyler gave a small, forced laugh, pressing against the arm of the couch so that he and Tanner didn't touch. He knew it'd be the end of the conversation if they did.
"I mean, I know how you feel, Tyler," Tanner replied, sitting over on his side of the couch. "But… there's a part of me that just doesn't want to stop." Tanner's dark eyes stared into his own and Tyler swallowed tightly, quickly turning away.
"But you're spending quite a lot of time out. I thought that maybe you…"
"Had a boyfriend?" Tyler nodded. "Well…there is this guy I've met, but I've no clue whether he's like us or not and I'm not about to put the moves on him and find out just in case. It could turn out really bad for both you and me if it turns out he isn't."
"Do you like him, though?"
"Well, yeah, I do but…I like somebody else more." Tyler blinked, quickly looking over to see Tanner staring at him and he flushed, heart beating rapidly in his chest. This wasn't good—this wasn't good at all.
"Tanner, you…?"
Tanner looked down at his hands on his lap and nodded quickly. Tyler hadn't needed to finish his question, and he hadn't wanted to have to. But he had his answer and he clenched his eyes shut and cursed. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. They were supposed to end this quickly and without feelings being hurt, but now this was impossible because it wasn't just sexual attraction—at least not for Tanner.
And if Tyler was completely honest with himself, it wasn't just completely about sexual attraction for him either.
Of course, sexual attraction was there and it was a huge part of it, but even Tyler had to admit it wasn't completely about that. Some nights he and Tanner did nothing but sleep together, and that could've been a brotherly thing, except for the way their arms were wrapped tightly around each others' waists and how Tyler's heart beat faster and his breath hitched just by being so close to Tanner.
Sometimes they would slowly kiss, their tongues entwining, and it wouldn't be a sexual thing. It would just be them wanting to be closer. They weren't just "butt buddies" as was rumored; there was a lot more to their complicated relationship than that, and a lot of it was emotion based.
Perhaps it would've been easier had it just been sexual attraction though.
"That wasn't supposed to happen." Tyler groaned, holding his head in his hands at the turn this conversation was taking.
"As if I could help it, Tyler! I didn't want to develop those kinds of feelings for you. I knew the sex was bad enough, but actually having romantic feelings for you just makes me a whole different kind of freak. What am I supposed to do though? You can't make those things just disappear."
Tyler knew that, and he didn't blame Tanner for it. He didn't ask to have those feelings. In fact, he had probably tried his best not to develop them, but it figured that if you had sex with somebody long enough, you'd develop feelings for them—no matter who they were.
It didn't help that there had already been a ton of feelings before this had even began.
"I know that, Tanner. I do, I know that, more than you probably think, it's just… this can't go on forever. Being homosexual is one thing, but we're brothers—we can't exactly start dating."
"And I know that and I didn't plan for us to start dating. I'll get over it eventually; I'm sure of that."
"Are you? Because I'm not." He wasn't. He really, really wasn't, especially now. This was just so confusing, and he didn't really have any idea how to start, and he doubted that he could find a book in the library called How To Break-Off Your Homosexual, Incestuous Relationship With Your Twin Brother.
This was a mess.
"I'm sure we'll figure it out eventually. We just need to… stop, I guess." Stop. That was the only thing they could do, but it was the single most difficult thing to do.
He felt Tanner move closer and his resolve started to weaken. This wasn't the direction he wanted this conversation to go in, but it was what always happened. They would start a serious discussion, only for it to be interrupted by their desires for each other. It felt so wrong and yet so right all at the same time, and Tyler always found himself wishing it could just go on.
He always began questioning why it needed to stop, and he always found that he'd forgotten those answers every time it begins. Tanner's hand was now on his own and Tyler just felt so comfortable with it placed there that he didn't want Tanner to pull it away.
Tyler didn't want to pull away either, so he didn't. They needed to stop, but it seemed so very impossible. The stirring started, and the heat reappeared and soon they were leaning towards each other and their lips became meshed. Tyler felt Tanner's hand pulling his head closer, his fingers clutching at his dark hair and he gasped, lips parting so that Tanner could push his tongue into his mouth, the two of them having plenty of fun sliding them against each other's.
He shifted on the couch so that they were facing each other, and he placed a hand on his brother's waist, pushing him back down onto the couch. They should probably go up to their room, but they were both too stuck in the moment to think about it.
Hands traveled down over each other, and soon both of their shirts were lying abandoned on the floor. They tried to keep their moans quiet enough so that nobody would hear should they pass by the house, but it was difficult to do so and probably hardly necessary.
Soon, Tanner's pants and underwear were also tossed away and Tyler enveloped him with his mouth, earning a loud gasp from his twin. It made him feel good, knowing that he could elicit such a response from another human being—from his brother.
Nothing felt wrong about this as it happened. It wouldn't be until after that the guilt would start to appear, but right now neither of them wanted to worry about it and instead just enjoyed being with each other.
It was going to be difficult to stop—but they would stop… eventually, anyhow. They didn't know when, but they had to sometime. For now though, maybe they should embrace the fact that they were a whole different kind of freak.