People in Diagon Alley were surprised to see the famous black haired wizard with spectacles walking around. The once boyish faced man was now aged by the darkness of his life. His hair, once as dark as a chalkboard, as his wife lovingly wrote in a Valentine's Day card, now had streaks of gray, which showed his age.
Despite all the turmoil and struggle in his life, it was the catastrophic events of only two months earlier that had aged him so much and which had a caused a grief to be evident in every part of his body, including his posture.
Two months earlier, the Potters and experienced the horrific loss of their youngest son, Albus Severus, in a flying accident. While no one in the Potter family would ever admit it, Albus was Harry's favorite child. The one he put all his effort into shielding and protecting. There was something about Albus that reminded Harry of himself when he was a young boy. James Sirius was the child he always wanted to be and fantasized he would have been if his parents had survived that Halloween night. Lily Luna of course was the daughter Ginny always wanted and the granddaughter that allowed Molly to relieve the glory days of her own daughter. Harry loved Lily in a way all fathers loved their daughters. He was fiercely protective of her, guided her away from the evils of the world. When she was young, he played all the girly games she wanted and had imaginary tea parties. As she got older, he helped her to become a great Quidditch player and learn all of the tricks he learned a Hogwarts.
But Albus was the one that kept him going.
When Harry had received word of Albus' accident, he was distraught. Ginny was of course hysterical, but Harry instead sat in St. Mungo's waiting room silent. His wife cried on him, but he couldn't even bring himself to comfort her. He sat unmoving, staring ahead. It was eerie to Ron and Hermione who showed up as soon as they heard the news. Ron of course tried to comfort his sister. He took her into his arms and held her, while Hermione took Harry's hand and just gently held it. She had seen Harry depressed before and knew that what he needed was a silent partner to be there when he was ready to talk. After a few hours had passed, Harry suddenly stood up and walked toward the disapparition point and left. The family tried to follow him, but was unsuccessful. Hermione thought for a second and quickly knew where Harry had gone.
She had not been to the village since that horrible Christmas all those years ago. Despite the amount of time that had passed, she stilled remembered the way to the little cemetery on the outskirts of the village. There she found Harry kneeling in front of his parents' graves, crying. In only a few days he would be burying his own son here. Harry thought it was unfair.
"WHY ME? WHY US?" He screamed to no one.
Harry thought of all the struggle and mayhem he had faced in his lifetime and couldn't understand why it had to be him that lost his child. Not that he would wish that on anyone else, but he couldn't understand why him and his family.
"Harry, we have to go back. I know you're upset, but you need to be with your family." Hermione said gently.
"I can't." Harry said with desperation dripping from his voice. "I need time."
She had never seen him so desperate and hopeless. Not even on the night he went to face off against Voldemort.
"Harry, I know you need time, but your children need you. Remember, Lily and James have lost their brother and they need their parents."
"I can't Hermione."
"Then you're not the Harry I thought you were." And with those words, she disappeared.
A few hours later, Harry returned to their London home where his children greeted him.
Lily rushed to him and held him. Harry could feel her confusion and sadness and he knew he had made the wrong decision to stay away. He gently leaned down and took her in his arms and held her until she pulled away.
Following the funeral, the Potters struggled to find their new normal. Lily went back to school after two weeks away. James went back to work and Ginny started writing, but Harry couldn't move on.
Everything he did, saw, said reminded him of his beautiful son. Ginny had stopped speaking to him, which he was grateful for since he didn't know what to say to her anyway. He knew she blamed him. He was the one who taught him how to fly, how to do stunts so he could be like dad. And while he wasn't there that day, in her mind, Harry was to blame.
He refused to go to work and took indefinite leave. Instead he spent his days roaming around Muggle London finding solace in the city where he could be anonymous. The Auror Department temporarily turned to utter chaos with the disappearance of their boss, but luckily Ron was able to step up. He had worked along side Harry for so many years that he knew what to do to step into Harry's shoes as department head.
After two months, Harry came home to find Ginny seething and ready for a fight.
"What the hell is your problem?" She yelled.
"What are you talking about?" He asked with a hint of confusion.
"You leave before sunlight everyday, come home after dark, you've stopped going to work and you sure as hell don't talk to me."
"I don't know Ginny. It couldn't be because I lost my fucking son!" Harry screamed with an anger he hadn't felt since he was fifteen.
"He was my son too! The one I gave birth to. The one I cared for when he was sick. The one I loved more fiercely than you will ever be able to understand. But for two months, you've walked around like you were the only one grieving. What about our other children? You know the two that are still alive! How do you think your behavior has made them feel? I'll tell you, like shit!"
"Well it's taking me more time than everyone else!"
"We're all grieving, but you can't just ignore life because you are depressed and trying to cope. You don't think that I haven't wanted to shut down? I have! EVERY SINGLE DAY! But I can't because my husband is!" After a short pause, Ginny said in almost a whisper, "I need my husband."
Harry looked at his wife who had tears streaming down her face, causing her face to become blotchy and her makeup to melt. The look in her eyes caused Harry too much pain and instead of going to her, he turned and walked from the room.
What he didn't see when he walked away was her crumbling to the ground in hysterics. She needed help.
She quickly grabbed her wand and sent a signal to Hermione.
It only took a minute for Hermione to appear on the scene and what was in front of her was frightening. She ran to Ginny, picked her up, and held her while she cried. Together, the women sat like that for an hour.
"I'm so sorry Hermione!"
"Never apologize for this Ginny. You've been remarkable these last two months."
"I don't know what to do. He won't listen."
"Well keep working on him, but he may need to just hit rock bottom before he can start getting better. You know Harry. He's stubborn. It'll be okay." Hermione told her sister-in-law while holding a look of eternal hope.
For months, Ginny and Harry continued in the manner they had become accustomed to following Albus' death. They ignored each other and rarely spoke. It was quickly eating away at both of them and the family saw the inevitable destruction of the couple's marriage.
Ginny, growing desperate to move on, decided the only way she could move forward was to leave Harry in his misery while she worked to better herself and take care of the children. After speaking to her mother, Hermione, and even Ron, Ginny had decided to meet with a divorce lawyer. It had been almost a year and she knew she couldn't continue in this manner for the rest of her days.
As she spoke to the lawyer about dissolving her marriage, she cried. She knew this would kill Harry, but at the same time, she couldn't allow him to bring her down also.
Trying to get him to speak with her took some time, but finally, one night, she was able to corner him before he went to the guest room, which was currently serving as his bedroom.
"Harry, we need to talk." Ginny said gently as he walked through the front door.
"Not tonight." Harry said exasperated.
"Please Harry," she pleaded.
And for the first time in months, Harry stopped to sit down and talk with his wife.
Sitting in armchairs on opposite sides of the living room, Ginny began to explain how she would be filing for divorce tomorrow with the Ministry. She explained that despite her immense love for him that would continue on past the dissolution of their marriage, she could not continue to live under the dark oppressive clouds that hung over them. She needed to find some happiness in her life and recover from the loss of her little boy. She was gentle and calm. It was actually the calmest he had seen his wife since she gave birth to Lily. Ginny seemed to always find an inner calm after the birth of each child and Harry used to marvel at how beautiful she was in those moments, more beautiful than any other time in their lives together.
Watching Ginny explain her reasons, Harry could not help but understand that he was about to lose the last little piece of heaven in his life. While his life since Albus' death had seemed bleak, without Ginny and the kids, he realized he could not go on. Yet, he didn't think he had it in him to go against a decision that Ginny had seemed to think would make her happy. He sat in silence just listening.
When Ginny was finished speaking, the two sat in utter silence. Neither speaking nor moving, just staring at each other. After several moments of what should have been awkward silence, Harry spoke up, "is this what you want?"
"It's not what I want, but it feels like all I am able to do. What I want is my husband to start living his life again with our children and me. I want to lay in bed at night with his arms wrapped around me like he has done for over 20 years," Ginny said with a quiet desperation in her voice.
Harry sat there dumbfounded.
"How could I have been so clueless," he thought to himself. Slowly he stood up and made his way across the room towards his wife. Ginny didn't know what to expect and was surprised when Harry wrapped his arms around her and started to cry on her shoulder. It was a deep, guttural cry that broke her heart. She embraced him back and squeezed him tight. Without realizing, tears began streaming down her face and together they stood wrapped in each other's embrace for about half an hour.
"I'm so sorry Ginny." Harry would whisper occasionally.
In that moment, Ginny realized she had her husband back and that while it would take time to be what they were and that they never would go back to their old normal, they at least could find a new relationship with each other.
A few months later Harry once again found himself at the lonely cemetery at the edge of the village, Godric's Hallow, only this time he was accompanied by his wife. Instead of two graves, there were now three sitting side-by-side. All three graves were immaculate, which was due to Ginny's weekly visits when she cleaned the family's tombstones. As they stood staring at the finally resting place of their son imagining a life that would not be possible, Ginny quietly clasped his hand in hers and leant her head on his shoulder.