This is a little one shot I have wanted to write for a while now; it's inspired by the song "All I Wanna do is Make Love to You" By Heart.
I apologize for any mistakes, my pre-readers all flaked on me and I really wanted to get this posted. This story is All Human and somewhat OOC.
As always, my love and gratitude to Ms. Stephenie Meyer for introducing me to Bella, Edward, and this Twilight universe, it has truly changed my life.
All I Wanna Do…..
I think this is just about the darkest road I have ever been on. I haven't seen another car for miles in either direction of this two lane highway. This was all Siri's idea. I think sometimes she has it out for me. I look at the screen one more time, sure enough the little dot keeps moving on the blue line of the course she laid out for me. I pray I don't lose service. It's a heavily wooded area. My best friend Alice just moved from Portland to Forks, Washington. I didn't tell her I was coming, there wasn't time. She moved there 4 month ago and told me I had a place to crash if I ever needed one. Well I need one.
It started with a gentle pitter patter on the roof of my car and the further I travel down this deserted highway the stronger the rain gets. A crack of lightning sparks the sky and I silently count the seconds until the thunder vibrates my car. It's the only time I will ever turn down the music. It's late; I'm high on adrenaline and a ton of caffeine. I just escaped a jackass ex-boyfriend. I'll be hours away before he discovers I'm gone and I feel free for the first time in years. Its pouring buckets now and I slow down; don't want to hydroplane out here. Seriously, I have not seen another car for hours.
The night sky turns almost light as a bolt dances through the clouds and I catch a glimpse of a person walking on the side of the road. I didn't see a car on the road anywhere. I pass the walking form slowly and I realize it's a man. He sticks his thumb out asking for a ride. I slow down a bit, as my heart and mind slip into battle mode. What do I do? He could be a serial killer; he could be a figment of my imagination. I really can't leave him out here, it is pouring rain and I'm starting to think this road is abandoned. If I'm honest, I don't really have anything to lose. I'm so distracted by my thoughts that my car stops from lack of me pushing on the gas pedal; making my decision for me. I can't very well leave another human in this storm. I hear the handle jiggle and I realize the locks are still engaged. I hit the button on the side of my door and he flies into my car slamming the door loudly. I reach around the seat and pull out an emergency fleece blanket my dad put in the car, just in case. He takes it from me greedily.
"Thank you for stopping" His voice is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.
"You're welcome, but I have two conditions or I will kick you back out in the rain."
"Oh really and what would those be?" he says quietly with a hint of a smile. I gasp as he looks me dead in the eyes, oh he's gorgeous.
"You have to promise you won't hurt me or make fun of my music. If you can agree to that I'll take you to as far as I'm going." I plan to drop in the town before Forks just in case he really is a psycho.
He laughs out loud. I haven't heard anyone genuinely laugh like that in a while.
"I promise, unless you listen to Justin Bieber, or something."
"No, no Bieber, poor guy I don't think ever set out to get himself deported."
He laughs again.
"So I didn't see a car…umm.. How did you end up out in the rain?"
"Well about five miles back my now ex-girlfriend kicked me out of my car."
I chuckle. What?
I couldn't imagine ever kicking someone as handsome as him out of the car.
"How exactly did that happen?" I'm amused.
He starts to explain that she picked him up in Olympia and they were headed home to Port Angeles, but she decided to take the long way around and when he asked her about it, she blew up on him, accusing him of thinking she was incompetent. He told her that wasn't the case he just wondered why she would drive a hundred miles out of the way. That's when she dumped him on the side of the road. He was so shocked he didn't try to stop her before she took off again in his car. I watch him tell the story as much as I can, considering I'm driving. He has a perfect jawline and emerald green eyes; a color I have never seen before. Even soaked to the bone he is very handsome. Of course he has a girlfriend I thought to myself. Yeah I have no chance with him. I hope he can't see my eyes roll at my ridiculousness, as he finishes his story.
The rain continues to pour down in buckets: we talk a little about this and that, never exchanging names. What was the point? I will never see him again. We both are a little shy and don't really say much. The car is on fire because I cranked up the heater when he entered the car. He notices it at the same time I do, so we both automatically reach for the heater knob, our hands touch and I swear I feel a jolt of electricity and I'm not talkin' about static electricity. Our eyes met and I know he feels it too, but we say nothing.
We enter a small town at the edge of the forest, still never passing or seeing another car. According to Siri I still have 2 hours before I reach Forks, but it's midnight. I'm exhausted. I pull into the "Rusty Cannon Inn" it looks like its seen better days, but I'm too tired to care. I turn off the car and the rain hammers on the roof.
"I'm too tired to continue."
"UMM..My wallet and phone are still in my car. I left them in my bag." My eyes widen, he really is stranded.
"You can share my room with me and I'll take you as far as I can tomorrow." I must be crazy, it's risky to give a stranger a ride, but I'm putting myself in real danger by sharing a room with one. Strangely, I feel safe in his presence.
I stand in shock at the counter as the attendant says he only has a queen bed room left. It is a small place and I did notice a few other cars out front.
"I guess I'll take it."
I go back out to my car and slide back in the driver's seat.
"I took their last room and it only has a queen bed."
"I hope you don't snore." He smirks at me.
"I don't think so" I say with sarcastic smile.
We jump out of the car and I grab my overnight bag. I packed one just in case. We enter the room and it's not bad, but it's not great either, at least it's clean. I look over at my handsome stranger and I can see that his clothes are still pretty wet and that must be uncomfortable.
"Why don't you take a shower and warm up"
"I don't have any clothes" He says with Duh, written on his face.
"I know, here." I unmake the bed and grab the top sheet off. "You can wrap yourself up in this. Maybe you can make a toga." I smile brightly at him.
He laughs contagiously out loud again.
He rips the sheet from my hand and heads for the bathroom door. Minutes later I hear the shower run. I stand at the sink beside the closed bathroom door as my mind wonders what he looks like naked and soapy; my achy girlie bits remind me again how long it has been. I do my best to ignore the pool of liquid forming in my panties. He has a girlfriend, no chance remember. I brush my teeth and change into my cami top and sleep shorts. I wasn't expecting company on this trip and this is what I normally sleep in. It's not very flattering. I'm sitting on the bed with my back to the bathroom rubbing my aching shoulders. It's been a long few days and I'm physically and emotionally exhausted.
I feel a warm soft hand touch me and I about hit the celling. I didn't even hear him come out the bathroom. The electric shock I felt in the car is now lighting up my body.
"Shhh…let me help you with that."
I don't say a word as I melt into his touch; he turns me into a pile of goo with his very skillful hands. I move my hair out of the way and he digs in a little deeper. It's taking everything I have not to moan and groan like a cat in heat.
He moves closer to me. I'm sitting between his legs, almost flush with his naked torso. I feel soft kisses on the back of my neck. My eyes widen at the direction he has taken this, but I don't stop him, it feels too good, too right. I reach my hand back and run my fingers through his hair, he moans slightly and it's the sexiest sound I have ever heard. I turn my head around and see lust and fire in his eyes; it's a look I've only ever read about in smutty romance books. He kisses me slowly; sparks light my body. I pull slowly away and he moves quickly to his knees. I can see his erection under the thin fabric of the sheet. I'm stunned and fascinated my stupid ex never got hard like that just by kissing me. He lays me softly down and climbs up slowly beside me; the sheet is barely covering his naked beautiful body. I can't take my eyes off him. I want this; just once I want to know what it feels like to be with a Greek God like him; one night, where I put aside the fact that he's completely out of my league and he makes love to me.
We face each other and I'm completely lost in the moment. I can't speak. My brain screams at me to stop, but he takes my lips again and I surrender. He lifts my tight cami over my head, my D cup breast spill out and for a second I'm mortified. No one has ever seen my naked breasts, my ex never took my shirt off and I was always too self-conscience to take it off myself in front of him. My stranger seems captivated by them, slowly taking one, grazing my pert nipple making me shiver. His other hand touches the loose skin above the waistband of my panties and sleep shorts. Before I can protest the fact that he's touching my fat body, he whispers.
"Is this ok?"
YES OH YES...
I'll never see him again. I won't have to worry about his criticism of my body. I have only been with one person. Why not? His eyes study my face as he waits patiently for me to make up my mind.
"Yes"
He slowly removes the fabric from my thick body. My mind is spinning because he can see every mark, line and lump. I study his movements to take my mind off of the fact that I'm freaking the fuck out right now. He runs his hands up my thighs, stopping at my partially trimmed lady bits. He studies the small curls as he gently runs a finger deep into my folds causing me to gasp. He smiles up at me and continues to explore the wetness now seeping out of me.
He stops his exploration and cups my breast, his mouth meets mine and it's not a sweet soft kiss. This kiss is the kiss you dream of. The one that makes your whole body come alive and sensitive to every inch of skin on skin contact. On instinct he hovers over me pressing his glorious body gently on mine. For the first time I feel his arousal and it is impressive. I feel him inch closer and closer to where I want him to be. His movements are slow and precise; inch by inch he fills me until I feel his pelvis flush with mine. I have never felt anything like it, like he was made for me, a perfect fit. I rock my hips, telling him I need him to move, silently communicating that I am still in this with him and I want everything he's willing to give me.
I have never made love like this before. Slow, deep, our bodies shudder and shake. He feels so good and I can't get enough. My orgasm catches me completely off guard. I have never had one with a partner before. In fact, that asshat ex of mine never gave me an orgasm, and now, I might have another before this is over. Our bodies in sync, our movements perfectly timed like we have been lovers before. His movements become more steady and erratic and I know he is close. The thought of me making this man come undone is my undoing; wave after glorious wave ripple through me. I feel every pulse of his orgasm, as he shutters and shakes. His body loses to gravity and his weight feels so good on me. God knows he can't crush me. For a few moments we are silent and our bodies continue to tremble as we slowly float back down to earth. He gets up and I hear water running from the bathroom and that's when I come to my senses and have a small panic attack because we didn't use any protection.
What's done is done.
We had left the light on and I must thank the heavens for that. I can't help but stare at his naked body as he returns to the bed with a wet wash cloth. He cleans me gently, it's glorious, and no one has ever done that to me before. He takes the cloth back to the bathroom, and then climbs into bed with me, pulling me close to him. We cuddle for a few minutes and I expect him to roll over. When that doesn't happen I roll to my side giving him an opportunity to roll over if he wants to, but he spoons me instead. It feels so good. I could really get used to this spooning stuff.
I must have dozed off because I jolt awake when I feel his hard member poking me, and gentle kisses on my neck. Sleep be damned, right now all I want his him inside me again.
He whispers, "Can I have you again?"
"Yes"
He wastes no time uncovering me and suddenly his mouth on my sore, sensitive, and needy lady bits. OMFG, never in my life have I ever felt something so amazing. He licks and swirls around until I'm on the edge of sanity. I cum so fast my head is spinning. He laps me up and kisses his way up to my mouth. We kiss with fire, hot and out of control. He enters me in a swift deep thrust and I break the kiss to cry out. His thrusts are harder this time and I can't control the sounds escaping my lips. His lips kiss every inch of my neck and chest, as he fills me thrust after thrust. The sensations fill my core again. I practically scream through the rapture with my face buried in that soft spot between his neck and shoulder. He stills himself and starts to pulse deep inside; making noises I have never heard a man make before. He moves slightly and starts to shake, like he has a chill, it's then I realize I'm shaking too. It's like I want every inch of his skin touching every inch of mine. I so am overwhelmed with something I can't explain that silent tears spill from the corner of my eyes. His breathing starts to even out, but he doesn't get up for several minutes.
I startle awake, it's 6:30am. I carefully get out of bed and go to the bathroom. The light is starting to come through the window and the site of him sleeping on the bed is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I have to leave right now before he wakes. I couldn't take the rejection if he regretted what happened in this room. It would destroy me if he started to talk down to me about my body or worse if he complained about the best sex I have ever had. My mind is nagging me with all the reasons I have to run. I grab my purse and take out all the cash I have. He only has the clothes on his back, so thank goodness it has stopped raining. I promised I'd take him as a far as I was going. I can't keep that promise, but I want to make sure he can get some food and maybe a bus ticket or someway home. It feels kinda cheap like I paying him for what transpired here last night. I get dressed and write out a quick note. I can't really tell him the truth that I'm scared and running. So I write:
I'm leaving this money to help you get home.
The moment I pull out of the parking lot, the tears start to fall down my cheeks. I make it about five miles before I have to pull over, give in and let it all out. I pull back on the highway, as the events of the past week start to haunt me.
I grabbed what I could to escape the life I thought I was going to be tied to. The pain of that life almost swallowed me whole. I know now that losing my baby was a blessing in disguise. I wanted that baby more than anything. I wanted it, just not its father. He always knew what to say, the pretty words that got him past the door, past my resistance and into my bed. He told me the condom broke that night but I know he wanted to get me pregnant; he wanted control over me, to trap me to him forever. I kicked him out that vowing I would never let him inside again. The damn jackass must have been stalking me the day he ran into me in the pharmacy with the test in hand, he saw it before I had a chance to hide the box. The fucker practically moved into my apartment after the positive pregnancy test. I accepted my fate and fell in love with the baby growing inside me, vowing to what was best for the baby, always.
"You're mine, Bella" He'd whisper to me as I tried to fall asleep, with his body close enough to feel the chill his words sent down my spine. I was trapped, or so I thought.
One freezing snowy day I woke to a pool of blood between my legs and blinding pain. He was nowhere to be found. I'm still not really sure how I managed to drive myself to the emergency room and get there in one piece. They were discharging me when he busted in demanding to know what I had done to lose the baby. He got arrested that night. It only pissed him off.
He and my mother blamed me for losing the baby; they both blamed my unhealthy weight. Yes, I'm 5'5 and 180 pounds, but I did everything right, I took all the vitamins, ate all the right things. I did everything in my power to give that little life a chance. I knew he would blame me, but my mom. I guess I shouldn't be surprised she has only been harping on me about my weight for the past 10 years. I take after my dad and his strong and sturdy German family, on his mom's side, Swan is English. My grandma Swan told me when I was about 15 that I had perfect birthing hips. Well I suppose I'm glad they might be good for something since I can't find a decent pair of jeans to fit over them, and my round butt.
Right after I lost the baby Alice left for Forks. She followed the love of her life, Jasper, because he got a once in a lifetime job with the research department of the University of Washington to study the Quileute Indian Tribe of La Push. He is an Archeologist and will be documenting them for the next three years. He will study their legends and culture. She asked me to come with her then, but I couldn't burden their budding relationship.
I tried kicking him the day he got out of jail for lashing out at me in the emergency room. The guilt may have been eating me alive but I couldn't help but feel relieved. I told him I wanted him out of my life for good and he went biolistic. He put me in the hospital, for a second time within 24 hours. He wasn't allowed in the hospital but as soon as I got out he started to call almost obsessively. I had to change my number three times before I figured out he had fed my mother some bullshit story and she gave him my number, again and again, she has a soft spot for him for some reason. I had to pay to have my number blocked when I call people and I told my mom I would not give her my number anymore. Finally he started to leave me alone.
The bleeding from the miscarriage slowly stopped. The loss is still unbearable. I know it would kill me if this ever happened to me again. Life slowly moved on and I was starting to feel a little better when he decided to invade me again.
For the past week the asshole has been taking residence at my doorstep. I thought he had given up because he stopped trying to get me to talk to him. I refuse to let him in, he follows me to my car and back begging and pleading for me to take him back, saying all the pretty things that had worked in the past. He is there day and night. I can't get any rest because I'm afraid he will lose it and bust the door down. Two nights ago, I made the decision to leave and go to forks. I didn't call Alice, because I couldn't bare it if she didn't mean what she said when she told me she would take me in if I wanted it.
The moments I almost let him in the door I just play his hurtful words over and over again in my head. "You're lucky Jiggle Bells, not many men would love a fat ass like you." Or my mom. "You would be so pretty Bella if you lost a little weight." GRRRR.. Their constant criticism of my body kept me trapped for too long. Losing the baby woke something in me. I may be overweight, but I'm still a person. I need to be around people who love me the way I am. I can feel myself getting weak and my resistance fading. I have to get out of here.
I talked to my boss and he said I could do my job remotely, so we loaded all the files onto a company laptop. I told him I would return every few months to check in. I never told jackass where Alice had moved too, not like he cared they hated each other. She tried to tell me over and over that his soul was dark and disturbed, but I never listened. My best friend, forever the better person, just loved me unconditionally and secretly hoped I would see what the rest of the world saw, what an asshole he is.
I paid the final rent money and told my landlord he could keep or sell the rest of my things. Most of my stuff was in storage at dad's house because my apartment was too small. I had the good sense to leave all of my most valued things in storage. My dad..I will miss him, he was getting the car when my jerkface ex stormed the ER. He apologized for days for leaving me to get the car. My dad is the only one who knows I'm leaving and where I'm going. He wasn't around much when I was younger. My mom pushed him away and lied to him, so he thought it was best for him to stay away. I don't blame him, she can be manipulative.
We reconnected when I turned 18.
"I need a fresh start" I repeat to myself as I drive mile after mile. Somewhere no one knows me and I can grieve my baby in peace. If by chance a baby comes from the best night of my life, then I will figure out a way to take care of it on my own.
I pull into Alice's driveway. Surprisingly she opens the door like she was expecting me. I bound out of the car and grab her tight. I need my best friend more than anyone, right now.
"Why didn't you call me?"
"How did you know I was coming?"
"Your dad called" She said with a huge smile on her face.
"I'm sorry I didn't call, I just left."
"No worries, you're here now. I have the guest room all set up for you. Jasper and I want you to stay for as long as you like." She's beaming and it's infectious.
"Are you sure you don't mind? I don't want to put you guys out."
"Of course I don't mind, silly girl. Come on let me show you to your room."
I follow her inside. Their house is a gorgeous Victorian, decorated immaculately. In each room I see special touches I know are all Alice. She always had had great vision. Alice started a Party Planning/Interior Decorating business. She explains she has to have more diversity because the area is so small she would never make it as one or the other.
My room is perfect, warm and cozy, exactly what I need to get my feet firmly on the ground again. I unpack a little and start to settle in. I call my dad letting him know I made it to Forks. I think of my stranger, he's probably awake now. I wonder if he was able to get home. I wonder if he regrets what we did or if he was upset with me for leaving. Maybe he was thankful I was gone. I guess I'll never know. Alice calls my name shaking me from my thoughts.
"Bella, I made some lunch"
"I'll be right down"
As we eat I tell her about the final week in Portland. She tells me how glad she is that I'm out of that situation. I retire to my room to check email and catch up on work. I hear Jasper come home and I don't want to disturb his homecoming so I stay put and watch a crappy movie on Netflix.
I slowly settle into a routine, some days were harder than others. My thoughts never far from that night in the rain and the stranger I left behind. It was really no surprise to me when I started throwing up two weeks later. I knew it, I felt it happen. I really don't need to buy a test, but I did anyway. Sure enough the thing beeped pregnant before I even had the toilet flushed. I'm terrified I'm gonna lose it, I'm already in love. I will do everything I can to keep this baby. Now I have to tell Alice. I haven't told her anything about that night. Although she may suspect something, I've been really distracted.
I sit her down and tell her everything.
"You have to find him Bella, he's you're one, I feel it." Alice is very intuitive.
"I don't even know his name, besides he has a girlfriend." I replied.
"Bella he told you she was his ex." She retorted.
"I'm sure the minute he got home they got back together, a man like that is worth fighting for. Besides Alice, I'm not that girl, the one who can get a guy like that." I can't look her in the face.
"That's bullshit Bella, you are beautiful and the best person I know, fuck what that ass and your mother said to you." She paused for a moment lost in thought. "Bella he deserves to know he has a child on the way."
"I need to make sure I get though the first trimester." Tears drip into my lap. "I can't lose this baby Alice."
"You won't Bella, I know it, and in fact it's a girl."
"Thank you, Alice, I love you."
"Love ya too, Bells."
XX
Two years and nine months later, it's my precious daughter's 2nd birthday. Allison Marie Swan was born on a cold February night, my Allie. Today Alice is throwing her a big Birthday bash at her house. My dad moved to Forks almost immediately after I told him I was pregnant. He asked me if it was my ex's and I told him no. When he asked me who the father was, I told him I had a one night stand. He asked where he was now. I told him he was gone, and we never exchanged contact information. I would never hear the end of it if he found out I picked up a hitchhiker. Thank the heavens; he never thought any less of me for that. Allie has him wrapped around her finger.
My dad bought a house with a little cottage outback and that's where Allie and I live. Its small cottage, but we have everything we need; it's perfect for us. I still work for the company in Portland and travel back there every few months. I always drive the road where I picked up my handsome stranger that night. Now I have Allie and either my dad or Alice with me on my trips. I have never seen him again. It's like he or that night ever existed. If I didn't have Allie I might start to believe that he was a figment of my imagination. I can't forget him no matter how hard I try. I have a great life in Forks, but I know something is missing.
My precious Allie, she has his eyes, my dark hair, she really looks just like him. If he ever saw her, he'd know she was his. He couldn't deny it. The thought terrifies me, but I can't help but day dream about it. Somehow he finds us and we fall happily in love, get married have a few more kids, and have mind blowing sex every night. Then reality hits, as a single mom of a two year old I really don't have time to entertain such nonsense.
I feel amazing these days. I lost a bunch of weight after I had Allie and I run a few times a week to maintain it. I'll never be a supermodel, but I feel good in my skin, also I'm thankful that breastfeeding didn't deflate my boobs, still a D cup. Sure I've has a few offers from men but nothing that really interested me. Usually, all I have to do is say, I have a two year old, and they flee. All I know is no one compares to him.
I arrive at Alice's about an hour before the party was set to begin. I have Allie in my arms for some reason she is refusing to walk. Oh, man terrible twos here we come. So I have Allie, her present and a sack full of plates, napkins and silverware for the cake.
I'm about to the door when suddenly it opens and out walks my stranger. The father of my baby is right in front of me and I can't breathe. His eyes burn a hole through us.
"Mama" Allie says
I turn my head to answer my daughter and he flies past me to a car parked across the street.
Allie waits patiently for me to answer her, but I can't speak, I'm frozen. All I can do is watch his car get smaller and the distance get greater. When it leaves my sight completely, I make my way into the house, still silent. I find Alice and my voice in the kitchen.
"Who was that?" I ask her.
"Who was who?" She says back to me as she continues decorating for the party.
"The man that just left your house?"
"UMM, I don't know, he was here to see Jasper, he was only here for a few minutes, I didn't even see him."
"Alice…" I lower my head, realizing that he didn't even acknowledge my existence. Alice climbs down the latter.
"What is it, Bella?"
"Nothing, never mind" I say to Alice, her back is still to me. I'm really grateful for that right now.
I have to process what just happened before I tell Alice. I'm not sure why I just don't tell her. All I know is I'm crushed, somehow I thought if somehow we met up again he would at least speak to me. I try to calm myself as I set Allie and everything else down. I pull myself together, but I'm still in a haze.
The party is a huge success, but all I want to do is go home. Allie has an amazing time, Alice really outdid herself. Alice and my dad sense that I'm distracted, but they don't say anything. We clean up and one by one the guests leave, including my dad. Allie is crashed on the couch. I pick her up and head for the door.
"Thank you for everything, Alice." I whisper to my best friend hugging her gently as Allie's sleepy head rests on my shoulder.
"Whatever it is please talk to me, Bella I know something happened before you came in the door. You will tell me soon right?"
"Yes Alice, I promise."
I walk out into the chilly February night. I pause on the porch, holding my daughter, in the spot he passed me earlier. I look to the sky, just for a moment, and by some miracle I can actually see stars. I wish on the first star I see, for just a conversation with him. A chance to say I'm sorry for leaving, a chance to tell him I regretted it every day. A chance to tell him we have a daughter and he can be in her life if he wants to be. I know I will dream of him tonight. I gather myself, and walk to my car. I place Allie in her seat, she is still out like a light and she doesn't seem to notice me strapping her in place. I close the door and reach for the handle of the driver's side door.
"Is she mine?"
A voice from the dark floats in the air; scaring the life out me, slowly I turn around to face the owner of the voice. I would know it anywhere. With my hand on my heart, I try to get my composure. I look up and see the man of my dreams; the father of the girl I'd give my life for.
"Yes"
I'm not even sure I said it loud enough for him to hear it. We stand in awkward silence. I'm sure he's going to run again, but I can't miss my chance.
"I have been looking everywhere for you." He says completely catching me off guard. WTF? Why the hell did he run earlier?
"Umm..you ran away pretty fast earlier."
"I came back five minutes later and have been waiting here all night to make sure you both were real. Jasper told me it was his nieces Birthday. It is her Birthday, right?"
"Why didn't you come in? And yes it is her Birthday"
"I didn't want to intrude and make a scene."
I start to shiver and he notices.
"Can we go somewhere and talk?" He asks
"I have to get her home and into bed, you can follow me if you want too."
I slide into the driver's seat and start the car. Is he really going to follow me home? I should be terrified, but I'm not.
He follows me home and I realize I still don't know his name.
He follows me into the house, he offers to carry Allie for me, but for some reason I hesitate. I leave him in the living room as I tuck our girl into bed. It's hard for me to really think about sharing her, even with her father. I guess we will just have to see how it goes. Maybe he wants nothing to do with either of us, or maybe he just wants to be her dad. Maybe, just maybe he wants us both. I guess I shouldn't get too far ahead of myself. I slowly make my way back to him, back to the man who has haunted me for the past almost three years.
He's looking at the pictures of Allie I have on the wall, from birth till the one I took just a few months ago at Christmas. I study his backside; time has just made him more gorgeous. His ass, well there aren't really words to describe how perfect it is. I guess I never realized his hair is a coppery color. I just remember it being dark, but he was soaked to the bone. Also it was still pretty dark when I left him that morning. I study him way longer then I should without making my presence known. So many things I want to tell him; I can't decide where to start except for the obvious, our names.
"Her name is Allison, but I call her Allie." I can tell I've startled him, he turns to me slowly.
"I'm Edward,…Edward Cullen."
"It's really nice to finally meet you, I'm Bella,..Isabella Swan."
"It seems strange to just now be finding out your name after that night." He says.
"It does" I agree.
We start to speak at the same time and we both giggle. He insists I talk first. Here goes nothing.
"I'm sorry I left you that morning, I've regretted it ever since and not just because of Allie."
"I started looking for you the moment I got back. I called my dad, he came and got me,…. Here" He holds two one hundred dollar bills out to me. "I've carried this around with me for a very long time, to repay the money you left me." I can't accept his money.
"Please keep it; you don't have to pay me back."
"I want you to have it especially now, I owe you a lot more for child support." Oh so she is just going to be an obligation. FML My face must say it all because he closes the gap between us and places his hands on both sides of my face lifting my watery eyes to his.
"Bella I have spent a lot of time looking for you and now that I have you I'm never going to let you or that precious girl, go. I want to be in your lives, both of you, forever."
He pulls me to his chest. We hold each other for a long while; my legs are going to give out from the electric pull I feel when I'm close to him and from this exhausting day. I lead him to the couch. We sit down, so close I'm almost on his lap.
"Tell me everything Bella, about Allie, about the reason you were on that road that night, please"
I pour my heart out, acutely aware that it is way too soon for me to do so, but I don't care. I tell him about James my asshole ex and the baby I lost. I tell him about that night in the rain and how I almost didn't stop because I was terrified. I tell him that I dream of him and that night often. I explain that I was afraid he would reject me in the light of day and I couldn't handle that. I also tell him that night was the last time I was with anybody and surprisingly he tells me that is true for him too. I almost don't believe him, because well look at him. He has his choice of anyone he wants. His eyes tell me that he is telling the truth.
He tells me that the minute he got home his ex was gone. She took his car. He let her go; the car was a small price to pay. He had actually been thinking about breaking up with her anyway. He wanted to settle down and start a family, she didn't. Turns out she was seeing someone else and she must have taken the long way around that night so he would have enough time to move her stuff out. Edward saw on my phone that night and that Siri was directing me to Forks so he searched for me and my car week after week. He passed my dad's house several times not knowing that there was a cottage out back or that he wouldn't be able to see my car from the street. I work from home so I don't leave my house daily. My dad wanted it that way in the off chance that James got wind of where I was and decided to come after me.
"Do you still live in Port Angeles?"
"No, I actually just moved to Forks." He smiled as he spoke, so stunning, he should always smile.
"Why did you run away this afternoon?
"I didn't think I could take if you were with someone else. When I saw you with a baby I thought I was too late. I turned around and saw her eyes just for a moment, and then I realized they were my own. I drove away to get my shit together. I waited to see if you would walk out with another man at the end of the party. I saw you on the porch looking up at the sky, it was the most beautiful moment I have ever witnessed; you holding our daughter, you in the flash and real, lost to the night sky."
"I was wishing on a star for just one conversation with you."
"Just one?"
"Well I don't want to be greedy, I'm so blessed already."
He kisses me. I kiss him back. We kiss slowly.
"I should go before we get too carried away. Despite how I acted that night we were together. My mom did raise me to be a gentleman."
"I appreciate that, but there is no way I'm letting you walk out that door, unless you really have to go. I'd really like for you to stay here tonight." I really hope he doesn't think less of me, but I can't take it any longer. I have been waiting way to long for him. Wow, I have more courage then I knew. I guess the past two years has made me impatient and demanding. Not sure where this Bella came from, I like her.
"I'd really like to stay and wake up beside you. I know you won't run this time."
"I'm done running, I promise."
I lead him to my room. We slowly get undressed never taking our eyes off of each other. I'm a little more comfortable with my body now, even though I wish I could hide the marks left by pregnancy. I have no idea where this will lead. Will we make love? Will we just sleep? I happen to have an extra toothbrush; we brush our teeth very domestic like; almost as if we have been doing this for a long time. We climb into bed, me in my cami and shorts, him in just his skivvies. UUMM..he is so impressive and I squirm a little remembering that night. How I crave him, and have craved him for a very long time.
We face each other, our bodies tangle up and we kiss and touch. My body remembers as sparks and fire ravish it. I need to be naked with him badly, but I don't want to push. I just keep savoring this moment; he is here, kissing me making me feel alive and whole. He completes me and gloriously overwhelms me. We speak without words, letting our bodies decide where this goes. He rolls me on my back and gently settles on top, and between my legs. Sweet noises fill the air as every inch of our bodies touch. I gently thrust my hips up to him silently surrendering. He accepts and lifts my cami over my head; he suckles my breasts making his way down to my bottoms. I feel them slide down my body. His tongue makes contact with my aching center and I lose control of my body. I thrash and moan and let him know with no doubts that I love what he is doing to my body.
He removes his last article of clothing and settles between my legs. I feel him coat himself with my wetness oh my I'm so close to exploding into a million pieces. He stretches and fills me, until he is as deep as he can go. He stills himself just for a moment, and then he starts to move. My body takes over and I lose control, pushing and pulling thrusting and thrashing. I can't get enough. Soul to soul we climb to ecstasy and crash into mutual oblivion.
It takes a long time to fall back to earth after that out of body experience. He is still breathing heavily, with his body completely covering mine. I commit to memory every detail. Just in case he is gone in the morning. I remind myself to stop thinking that way; like the other shoe will drop. I don't know what's going to happen in the light of day, I just have to have faith that it will all work out.
He was there the next morning with his arms holding me so tight it's a wonder I could breathe as we slept. He was there the next morning and the next, until the day of our wedding, when we followed tradition and didn't sleep in the same bed the night before. I am pregnant with our second child, we just found out last week. He filed to have his name added to Allie's Birth Certificate. We changed her name to Allison Marie Cullen.
Today, I will change mine.
~The End~