A/N This chapter in particular contains reference to some sexual situations as well as psychological bullying. This is also my version of each backstory so I've have tweaked a few things we know to be fact to fit in with the "A Life" stories I created.

Big thanks to AndDreamOfSage for your inspiration on this one.

Aged Eighteen Months.

Here. This was her happy place. Curled up with the safe arms around her, the special name whispered in her ear. The long dark hair covered them, keeping them protected from the outside. This was her favourite person in the world and she always wanted to be with her.

Aged Two

"Where is she?"

The only special person in her life was gone and Constance couldn't figure out where or why.

Aged Five.

She had had several nannies over the past three years but this one was her favourite. Catherine was kind, played games with her and told her stories at night. But then she had to leave.

"I don't want to Constance but your Father says you must go to boarding school. I'm sure you're going to meet some lovely girls there. Be brave."

Constance was inconsolable as she watched Catherine leave from the bedroom window. She was still crying when her father entered the room, clearly irritated by her tears.

"Get your bag, we need to go. And stop that dreadful snivelling, you're just like your mother."

Just before he left Constance gathered the courage to ask a question. "Can I bring my rocking horse?"

"A rocking horse? You're going to school not a playground. You're enough of an embarrassment as it is without bringing that along. Now move."

He left her just enough time to grab the three precious picture she had of her mother. She slipped them into her suitcase and wished, as she did several times a day, that she was still here.

Aged Six

Her former Nanny had been right, to an extent. Constance had met some nice girls but they were all paired off with best friends by the time she arrived. Sometimes they included her but she was always on the outskirts. It didn't help that she was never allowed to go to their homes over the holidays, her father had paid extra for her to stay at the school and insisted she did so.

In many ways her teachers had become her only friends. In fact it was one of them who later told her that her father had gotten married and his new wife had a baby on the way.

He hadn't even invited her to the wedding.

Aged Twelve

"Ah Constance, I knew your mother well. So sad that she died like that, even magic can't cure a brain tumour. Still, I'm so glad you're father has sent you to us. You and I are going to be great friends. Work hard my girl and you'll be just as powerful as me some day."

Constance sat in her new school uniform and nodded at Mistress Broomhead. There was something about the woman that made her feel uneasy but anyone who had known her mother couldn't be that bad.

Could she?

Aged Thirteen

It could not have been more apparent that her father did not want her around but there had been a severe case of measles going around the school and all non-infected students had been sent home. There was nowhere else for her to go but given the choice she would rather have had the disease. As it was she had been confined to an attic room, according to her fathers wife it was in case she was carrying germs that would infect her children.

Not Constance's half brother and sister, that was clear. These were her father's new children. She had only seen the little boy once, they had passed his open nursery as she was lead to her room.

He was playing on a very familiar rocking horse.

Aged Fifteen

A friend. After all this time she finally had a friend. Nancy was the prettiest girl she could have imagined. She was clever too, perhaps too competitive at times but it was good to have someone who challenged her. Constance felt her stomach flutter every time she saw her. They spent all their time together, going for walks and doing their homework. This was someone she could share all her secrets with.

The other good thing that happened to her that year was swimming. The principal had decided that since the girls spent a lot of time near the river, gathering potions ingredients and exploring the flora it was a safety requirement. Constance had zero inclination to learn but to her surprise she found that it came naturally to her and she loved it. The girl that taught them, Morgana, was very beautiful but not as beautiful as Nancy.

Then one day, the greatest thing to ever happen in her life occurred. She and Nancy kissed. Right there on her bed Nancy leaned over and kissed her right on the lips. It had been perfect and Constance lay in bed that night smiling up at the ceiling as she replayed the moment over and over in her mind.

Aged Sixteen

And she thought kissing was good? They had been kissing each other for well over a year now. Occasionally their hands had wandered a bit but never as much as last night. She had done things with Nancy that she had only ever read about in the books she kept hidden away under her floorboard and it had been so wonderful.

This was like it felt like to be loved.

The next morning she woke up and relived the memories all over again. Had she really felt those things? The slight ache reminded her that the pleasure had been real. Her only regret was that Nancy had needed to leave to get back to her own room before nighttime inspection. She knew they had been lucky not to be caught but the risk had been worth it.

She dressed quickly, leaving her hair down, the way she knew that Nancy liked it before rushing down to what had become "their" breakfast table. Except Nancy wasn't there. Constance decided that if she couldn't be romantic by bringing breakfast in bed to her girlfriend she could at least have it waiting for her as she arrived. She made her way to the line to get some toast and cereal but was stopped by Mistress Broomhead.

"Constance, a word."

"I didn't. No that's not what happened." she sobbed as she was accused by her tutor of doing terrible things. She hadn't forced Nancy into anything, it had been completely consensual, wanted by both parties. That was what Nancy had said to her "I want you to touch me there Constance. Please."

"Calm down girl. I believe you. Nancy Nightingale is a silly little girl who you have been spending far too much time with. You need to stay away from her, otherwise you run the risk of her telling her parents these untruths and then the police will get involved. Everyone will know what you did and call you a whore, and worse. You don't want that do you? Stick to your studies. Knowledge and power, that's all you need.

"People let you down Constance. I think you've learned that lesson now. Don't make the same mistake again."

Although it broke her heart she did as her tutor told her to. She stayed away from Nancy. It wasn't difficult, her former girlfriend didn't look in her direction once over the remaining months of school and she never found out what had happened after Nancy left her room. Now Constance had nothing left to focus on apart from her work and she threw herself into it.

Mistress Broomhead kept a close eye on her, arranging private lessons and helping her to develop her already strong powers. In theory she should have been grateful, and she was, except.. Well, it was all a bit too much.

If it had just been magical work it might not have been so bad but it was more than that. Her teacher would say things to her that were hurtful and made her feel uncomfortable about her body. She knew she wasn't beautiful but for someone to call out all her flaws, it was painful and she would replay the barbs as she lay in bed every night.

"You should really get a better fitting brassiere. One that flattens your chest down more, people will see the size of it and know that you're only good for one thing."

"Your hips are far too wide, you should eat less bread and biscuits."

"Your hair is too long. Either cut it off or tie it back all the time. And use a straightening spell, those waves make you look unkempt."

Then there were the digs about how her life was going to turn out.

"People like you and me Constance, we're too clever for most. They cannot handle our intelligence. It's far better to be alone. You should be used to that. Your father didn't want you, nobody else ever will, not when they find out that you're soiled. Even Nancy Nightingale realised she had made a mistake getting involved with you. Stay away from emotion and you won't get hurt."

Constance was heartbroken but it had to be true. She saw all her future dreams slipping away. Meeting a girl who would love her, maybe having a family some day. All gone.

"Yes Mistress Broomhead."

Aged Seventeen.

She had finally finished school. Her results had been excellent and she had easily been accepted into Darkest Night College, far away from Mistress Broomhead who had wanted her to say and become her apprentice. A voice in her head had told her to refuse, to break away while she could and in the bravest thing she had ever done, she had listened to it.

It hadn't just been the past few months, when she looked back over the last five years she could see the patterns of emotional blackmail. Yes she was fat and ugly but maybe she wasn't unwanted. Her mother had wanted her. She knew that every time she looked at her pictures. Especially the one of them together. Maybe when she got out of here she would prove her old tutor wrong? She had just finished packing when she remembered something.

They were gone. The books she had hidden under the floorboards were gone. They weren't anything too graphic, just novels where the female characters had been in love. Yes, there were some sexy scenes but nothing pornographic, she preferred to use her imagination for some things.

"Looking for these?" Hecketty Broomhead stood in the doorway, the books in her hand.

"Yes, they're mine. I know I shouldn't have them but I'm not a pupil here anymore and I would appreciate having them back." She flinched as one book hit her in the stomach and the other on the chest.

"You're nothing but a dirty little whore Constance Hardbroom. You'll get on your back for anyone. You're used goods and I'm going to make sure everyone knows about you."

Finally Constance snapped.

"I am not a whore and if you ask me you're just jealous because you're all alone and always will be. Everything you've said to me has been nasty and untrue. One day I will find someone who loves me. And if we have a family and I'll be the best mother ever, just like my mother wanted to be and you'll still be here. Alone. I hope you die alone, that's what you deserve."

And with that took the most useful skill she had learned from Broomhead and vanished.

Aged Nineteen

College was hard work but so rewarding, her lecturers challenged her and encouraged her to think for herself. And of course there was the additional freedom. She didn't go out as often as the other students did, she couldn't afford it. The money her father reluctantly gave her was barely enough to cover her academic expenses.

When she had left school she had shyly asked him if she could maybe live with him for a while. The college was only a ten minute broomstick ride from his house and she would be happy to help with the children, she really wanted to get to know them.

"Are you mad girl? I have a family to think about. What would it be like for my children to have a stranger come and live with us. I'm giving you money, you can live in the dorms. You should be grateful. Always wanting more, that's your problem. Your mother was the same, it wasn't enough that I married her, she trapped me with a baby, said if I gave her one she'd set me free but she didn't even manage to do that."

"She died. She didn't want to leave me."

For a second Duncan Hardbroom faltered. She was right about that, her mother had not wanted to leave her, she had loved Constance with all her being. But what was the point in dredging all of that up now?

"But she did and she left me stuck with a child I didn't want. I have paid for your education and will continue to do so until you finish college but do not ask me to be your father. That will never happen. Be thankful for what you have for once in your life."

Sobbing from rejection she had walked away, it had broken her heart to have him turn her down but she should have expected it. She had never truly had a father, why would that change now?

Instead she managed on the small allowance he gave her. She bought her books second hand. For food she mainly lived off magical toast. She had also discovered that if she went to the greengrocer late in the afternoon she could buy slightly damaged apples at half price. There were two little extras that she allowed herself, a packet of plain biscuits that she would make last for two weeks and a custard tart once a month. Any alleged additional weight was gone. Her breasts were still large but there was nothing she could do about that.

The spare money she made from tutoring helped to fund any nights out. This was where the freedom really came in to play, where she could meet girls her own age. They would talk and kiss and they must have found her attractive because they all seemed to want more. Deep down she knew it was wrong but every time she went to bed with someone she would hope that this would be the person for her. Instead she got rejected when she asked for another meeting. Sometimes nicely, sometimes not so much.

"Look, to be honest I only went with you because my friend said you were a good shag. You are but I just wanted to try you out once. I already have a girlfriend so you'd really better leave."

And so she would find herself doing what was known as the walk of shame back to her dorm room, vowing never again. Until the next night out. Because for those couple of minutes when she was pleasuring someone it made her feel like she had some control, that giving someone an orgasm would make them fall in love with her. That someone would still be there the next morning.

They never were.

Aged Twenty One.

Officially college was over. She had received her degree in Potions with a secondary degree in Spells. Magic came naturally to her, even more so without Broomhead hampering her development. Her marks were high enough to allow her a place on a post graduate course where she could become an advanced Potions Pharmacist, something she had wanted to be since she was a very young girl. There was just one problem.

There were no such thing as grants for these courses and her father had refused her any additional funding. After their last meeting she had promised herself she would never ask him for anything ever again. She weighed up her options, the obvious thing to do would be to go into teaching, that's what many of her fellow students were doing but it didn't appeal to her. Instead she decided she would get a job to fund her though her course.

In May she found a job in a health shop . Although there was no link to magic it was still fascinating to her, especially as the focus was on natural remedies which she had a strong knowledge about. The woman who ran the shop seemed okay but it was her colleague Emma who she had formed a strong bond with. Her new friend had even helped her to find a cheap room in a B&B which she was so grateful for.

They would often go out for drinks or something to eat after work and Constance found herself opening up to someone for the first time since Nancy.

"What does it feel like? Being with a woman?"

She was a bit tipsy at this stage and found herself answering her friends question, Emma had a boyfriend and was just being curious. Constance had previously confessed that since her first time she had never found someone who pleasured her but that she enjoyed the fleeting closeness. They were still talking as they walked back to Emma's flat after the bar had closed.

"Show me."

Suddenly her friend was in her lap and she found herself being kissed very thoroughly.

"But you have a boyfriend."

"Shhh, that doesn't matter. You're so beautiful Constance, so pretty. Show me what it's like to be with a woman. I'll make you feel good."

Being called beautiful was her absolute weakness and Constance found herself being lead to the bedroom, feeling a bubble of excitement in her stomach as they undressed and fell onto the bed in their underwear.

She lay on her back, enjoying the kisses she was receiving when suddenly the bedroom door opened, revealing Emma's boyfriend.

"Oh." Constance tried to cover them both up, she was mortified.

"It's okay, there's no need to worry. Ben knows I like you, he just wants to watch. Maybe join us. What do you think? He's very good. If you don't want to do everything with him you can just use your mouth, I'll show you." Emma was whispering in her ear.

Constance raised her eyes to find that the man in question had already removed his jeans. He looked her right in the eye as he reached into his underpants and began to stroke himself.

"No. No, I don't want this. You planned this all along. Get off me, let me go."

She didn't want to do any of it, especially using her mouth. She didn't even do with women. It might have sounded silly but that was something to keep until she met someone really special.

Ben raised his eyebrow as he closed the door behind himself. "You won't know unless you try."

"No." Finally Constance managed to push Emma off and gathered up her dress.

"Don't be such a prude Constance. Come on, have some fun with us. You're game for anything with a woman, just try this. I bet it will feel even better than anything you've had before."

Ben was blocking the door but Constance knew she needed to get out. Feeling grateful to Broomhead for once in her life she threw her dress on and vanished. Just before she left the room fully she heard him ask Emma,

"I thought you said she was a slut?"

In her rush she had left her shoes behind but that didn't matter. She ran barefoot through town until she was home, throwing up as soon as she got to the toilet. She had felt vulnerable and out of control and she vowed she would never feel like that again.

That night after a long hot shower which did nothing to remove the sense of feeling dirty she cried herself to sleep and knew she needed to make a change. Sex had caused her nothing but trouble and from now on had no place in her life, she would learn to suppress the urges. That was just how it had to be. The latest little card that she had received was a further reminder. It wasn't signed but one word made it clear who it was from.

"Whore."

The following morning she didn't go to work. She could never go back again. After counting the money in her purse she realised that she only had enough to tide her over for two or three weeks. It was time to find another job.

She made her way to one of the magical shops near the college and picked up a newspaper. Employment in the non magical world hadn't worked out for her and it was time to go back to what she knew. Many of the jobs required qualifications she did not possess but there was one option.

"Potions Teacher Required. Accommodation included. Must be wiling to start mid August."

She was qualified and the timing was perfect. Maybe she could save up her money and go back to college in a year or two?

Within two days she had completed an interview and less than a week later had the job. The principal Miss Cackle seemed like a kind woman but right now she couldn't trust anyone. There were other teachers, Miss Bat, who was possibly the strangest woman Constance had ever met and her sidekick Miss Gimlet who was just plain vague, especially for a maths teacher.

She was encouraged by the free reign over her lesson plans that was offered, this convinced her to take the job. She was also hopeful that this would take her well and truly off Mistress Broomhead's radar. Her name had come up during the interview and although Constance had thought she might be sick at the mention it was very clear that Amelia Cackle, though discete, did not like or trust her formal tutor one little bit.

This was her chance to reinvent herself. She had worn a long black dress to the interview dark and a dark coloured lipstick that she didn't especially like but it was the only one she had at the time. The other teachers seemed to mainly wear black or grey so she wouldn't stand out. That look and her high bun was going to be her uniform from now on.

Aged Twenty Two

"Constance my dear, you know you don't have to work every weekend. Davina is on the supervision rota, as is Elizabeth and they both need to do their fair share rather than going off gallivanting around the countryside. "

"Oh no Miss Cackle, I don't mind. It's not like I have anything else to do. I can use the time to make my potions, read my books and practice my crochet."

Amelia regarded the young teacher over her glasses. Lost. If there was one word she would used to describe Constance it would be lost. Every part of her empathic abilities were telling her that this girl needed help but something else told her not to push it. She was a good teacher, excellent in fact. Her methods, though tough, had driven results sky high.

There was no question that she was a hard worker, in fact that was all she seemed to do. Any invitation to go to the village pub with Elizabeth Gimlet and Davina Bat was refused. The girl seemed to have no social life beyond mandatory Cauldronite meetings.

That was why Amelia had dismissed the letter she received from Hecketty Broomhead. The woman was a nasty piece of work and she had no intention of believing the disgusting things that the old witch had said about this girl she had become terribly fond of.

Aged Twenty Seven

"You don't need to go to this event if you don't want to see your father. I'll go dear."

"Thank you Amelia."

She would never admit it but that kindness and affection that she received from this woman was what had kept Constance here beyond her two year deadline. Despite her resistance she had found a mentor and a role model, maybe even her first true friend.

Aged Thirty Three

"I should have gone back to college. That way I wouldn't be dealing with Amanda Honeydew and her gang of troublemakers. I'll give them a nervous breakdown. I simply told them. with purpose, to stop warbling or as they called it, singing,"

Constance ranted at her cat Raven as she sat on the bed. Even her familiar wasn't that interested in her. This was her second cat but truthfully she had never really bonded with either in the way she had hoped to. Apparently her love of animals wasn't mutual.

The situation with Miss Honeydew had escalated quickly and as a result of what the teenager had screamed at her potions mistress she had been suspended. According to her parents she would not be returning. It was silly to let the words bother her but she couldn't help it, they were too familiar.

"You're nothing but a dried up, frigid old prude. I'm going to go and make something out of my life and you'll still be here. Alone."

H.B , that's what they called her and she hated it. They were her initials.

Aged Thirty Four

Why did people make such a fuss about staying in bed. That was Constance's least favourite place. Too much time to think, too much loneliness.

Right now she didn't have a choice. Despite numerous potions she had succumbed to a nasty flu that was doing the rounds. The doctor had been called and she had been banished to bed.

"Wouldn't it be nice to have someone hold me?"

She pushed the thought out of her head. That part of her life was over, in fact it had never really happened. It was easier to block the memories and reach for the wide awake potion, except she wasn't allowed as it would react to the stronger magical treatment she had been put on.

Another major inconvenience was that she could not use her own magic. This meant that everything had to be done manually. That morning after five days of lying in bed she had dragged herself to have a shower and wash her hair. Now, nearly eight hours later her mane was almost dry but for the first time in years she had not used the straightening spell so it was in its naturally wave state.

At 7PM Amelia brought up some soup and bread, she had checked in earlier but the patient had been fast asleep. Once she had supervised the meal being eaten she poured some water and ignoring the sighs, made sure her Deputy Head was tucked in with properly fluffed up pillows. The maternal feelings that she had closed away for all these years tended to come out in full force when she was around this younger woman.

Before she left she couldn't resist sharing her honest thoughts.

"Constance, your hair is beautiful."

Aged Thirty Six

"It all seems so long ago."

Constance was reading the newspaper which was full of story of economic crises and bank crashes. The idea of dealing with non school money on a proper basis was almost a foreign concept to her now. She got paid of course but with her accommodation and day to day expenses included there was very little to spend her money on.

Except books. These were her passion, especially history books but biographies even fiction, she devoured them all. Every month after she got paid there was a trip into the nearest town where she visited the bookshop. Sometimes after she had picked out her books she would wander into the clothes shops for a look. There were so many patters and colours. She found herself drawn to the softer, floatier styles made from linen, cotton and fine wool.

Bright colours would never be her thing but she liked purple,grey, green, navy and beige. In the summer season she admired the more subtle floral patterns, especially the longer button down dresses and skirts. It was silly to look though, her purple pyjamas and robe were frivolous enough. She had her five black dresses and they would do her for years to come. Still, she couldn't help sometimes envying her college Elizabeth Gimlet, who was roughly a year older than her and wore these more ethereal style clothes without a second thought.

After shopping came her next indulgence, dinner in a local restaurant. Thinking about it now she couldn't quite remember how she had come to enter one day but she had. It was somewhere she could go and not be disturbed or gawked at by the students as she ate. Nothing made her more self conscious. The food was good and the owners friendly but not intrusive.

One day she found herself sitting there, alone of course, and watching two women across from her who were clearly on a date.

"How would it feel….?"

This time the thought wasn't so easy to push out of her head. Maybe she wasn't cut out to be alone after all?

Aged Thirty Nine

"What's her name?" Amelia watched her colleague stroking the tiny kitten that had wandered over to her. Raven had died a few months beforehand and it was time for a new familiar.

"Morgana"

The beautiful smile was a wonder to behold. Constance looked absolutely radiant as she nuzzled the sleek black cat. Amelia was sure that deep down this woman was capable of love. She knew without a doubt that although she might deny it, Constance was fond of her and her colleagues, even the girls. Seeing her with her new pet set a thought loose in Amelia's mind,

"What a pity she never had a family."

Aged Forty.

"P.E? P.E? Have you lost your mind Miss Cackle? The girls do not need outdoor activity. They need hard work and discipline."

Amelia had made her decision and would not be moved. "It's happening Constance. My cousin Mary has recommended a very strong candidate, Imogen Drill who has accepted our offer. Davina and I met with her and liked her very much. I believe you will also if you get off your high horse and realise that this is my school."

"But, I'm the deputy head. Why wasn't I part of the interview process?"

"I think we all know the answer to that." Davina just got the remark out just before she locked herself in the cupboard.

Months later, Constance sat across the table regarding her colleague. Imogen, Miss Drill, had been at the school for three months. The P.E teacher had been friendly but Constance didn't need friends. She needed competent colleagues which in this case, she couldn't deny Miss Drill was. She stuck to the supervision rota, took detention when it was her turn and did little extra things like picking the post up each morning. Davina and Elizabeth would have let the pile build up until a tree could have been reformed.

She noticed that Imogen, Miss Drill received several letters a week but never mentioned who they were from. The look on her face as she read them ranged from happy to sad on various days and sometimes Constance had to stop herself from asking if she wanted to share the reasons why.

But that would have been highly inappropriate. They weren't even friends. Although, as she had confided in Morgana, this was truly the most beautiful woman she had ever known.

Aged Forty One

"Yes Miss Drill, I will take supervision this weekend while you go and do whatever."

"Oh thank you Con…Miss Hardbroom. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. Any time you want me to return the favour I will. I'd better go. The first years will have gone wild, especially with Fenella and Griselda in the group. Thanks again."

As she watched her colleague run off Constance became aware of two things. Firstly, those were the most dazzling green eyes she had ever seen.

And secondly, for the first time in a long time, her heart was opening.