Disclaimer: - I do not own Glee, or the song
Inspired by the song 'You can let go' by Crystal Shawanda
You Can Let Go
Summary – Eventually, every parent has to 'let go' and allow their child to become an adult and lead their own life. That includes Burt Hummel.
It didn't take Burt Hummel long to realise his son was different from the average boy. A young Kurt Hummel liked to watch musicals and wear wigs and sensible heels. He preferred to have a tea party rather than make a mud pie or set up a fashion show with his dolls rather than climb a tree.
While most boys Kurt's age idolised Batman, Superman or Spiderman, Kurt worshiped the likes of Judy Garland, Julie Andrews and almost any Walt Disney Princess. For the most part, Kurt was much more interested in doing what were typically thought of as 'girl' things.
Countless times, Burt had tried in vain to get Kurt to kick a football or play with a toy gun. Eventually, Burt realised Kurt was never going to be interested in what was considered 'normal boy' behaviour. Because his son was not a normal boy; his son was better, special.
Still, as unique and diva-like as one Kurt Hummel liked to be, Burt Hummel was still going to do something more traditional with his son. So it was that Burt bought Kurt his very first bicycle.
"Well, Kurt, what do you think?" Burt asked clapping his hand gently on his five year old sons shoulder. Kurt just blinked up at him with his nose wrinkled in distaste. "Come on, buddy, your old man is gonna teach you how to ride a bike. You should be excited."
"I don't like the colour," Kurt said fussily and Burt sniggered. He should have known.
Together, Kurt and Burt worked on the bike painting it what Kurt deemed to be the 'correct' colour. Kurt also insisted on adding streamers to the handles and they he had to find the perfect helmet, elbow pads and knee pads to match the bicycle as well as a matching outfit.
A week and a half later, Kurt decided he was ready to have his first lesson. Fitting on his baseball cap, Burt helped Kurt fasten on his helmet and pads before leading him outside along with the bike that Kurt had named 'Dorothy'.
As Kurt settled himself comfortably on the saddle and straightened his back and shoulders determinedly, his head held high with an air of confidence, Burt instructed him on what he should do.
"Ok, you ready, kiddo?" Burt asked and Kurt nodded eagerly.
Keeping a tight hold on the seat, Burt ran along with Kurt and the bike as his son worked the pedals.
They practiced again the next day, and the next day and then the day after that and every day for the next two weeks. Then one Friday afternoon, Kurt straddled the bicycle with a greater confidence and fiercer determination than ever.
Holding on to the back of the seat saddle, Burt ran alongside Kurt as he always did, his son furiously pedalling away.
"You can let go now, daddy," Kurt called out. "Let go!"
Burt released his hold and stood tall and proud as he watched his son ride on down the sidewalk, laughing happily as the wind blew in his face.
"Good job, Kurt," Burt called, the smile evident in his voice. "Good job!"
Kurt laughed in response as he rode, thoroughly enjoying the sense of freedom he felt at riding solo for the very first time.
XXX
Two decades later and Burt's special baby boy was now a special twenty-five year old man. For a long time, Kurt had been desperately lonely. Being as different as he was, Kurt had struggled to make friends and had endured years of bullying.
After his mum died and before joining Glee Club, Kurt had felt as though his father was the only person in the entire world who would ever care for him. For many years, they were all one another had. It wasn't always easy for them. They were so different and Burt wasn't sure how to be a good dad without Kurt's mum around. She had always been the natural parent and seemed to know the answers to everything whereas Burt was often clueless and found he had to improvise his way through parenthood.
Things had taken a turn when Kurt had finally come out and revealed he was gay. Burt already knew of course. He'd always known. And it didn't make him love his son any less. But it made his heart ache that his son's sexual preferences would make life so much harder for him. He wanted to shield Kurt away and protect him from the nasty world and keep him safe forever. But that was impossible. The best he could do was make sure Kurt always knew he was loved for exactly who he was and that Burt would always be proud of him no matter what.
Thankfully, one William Schuester had come along and rallied together the biggest group of misfits and turned them into a credible National winning show-choir. That club and those kids had meant the world to Kurt and therefore to Burt too, every single one of them. They had all accepted Kurt just as he was and in doing so Kurt had been able to accept and love himself. He learned that being different was the best thing about him.
And being so different was precisely what would make one Sebastian Smythe fall in love with him.
To Burt, learning that Sebastian Smythe of all people was dating his son was a big enough of a shock, but finding out that said man was going to marry his son damn near gave him another heart attack.
He didn't mention it to Kurt, or Carole, or Finn, or indeed anybody, but Burt had always thought it would be Blaine Anderson. He knew high school couples rarely lasted. They almost always failed once high school was over. But Burt had fully believed that Kurt and Blaine would be two of those high school sweethearts who stayed together forever. It had taken some time, but Burt had gotten used to the idea that Blaine would marry his boy one day.
Even when Kurt brought Sebastian home to meet him for the very first time Burt still believed Blaine would make a return. He assumed Sebastian would be a quick fling. In fact, almost everybody had thought that way. Apart from one Brittany S. Pierce, that girl had always insisted Kurt and Sebastian would marry and have beautiful babies. And she was right, at least about the marriage part.
The big day arrived, and Burt surveyed his son with misty eyes as he saw him fully dressed in his tailor made wedding suit.
"How do I look?" Kurt asked shyly.
"Perfect," Burt nodded feeling his throat tighten. "What about your old man?"
"You never could dress yourself," Kurt replied in amusement stepping up to his dad and fixing his bow-tie. "There, perfect."
The music started to play and Kurt took a calming breath.
"This is it, kiddo," Burt said barely managing to hold back his tears. "Unless you wanna change your mind? We could still make a run for it."
"Dad," Kurt chided.
"Ok, ok," Burt held his hands up in surrender. "I was just checking."
He offered his arm to Kurt and his son smiled happily up at him as he looped their arms together. As Burt walked his son down the aisle, he looked from his sons smiling face to Sebastian standing at the other end. The young man was smiling back at Kurt, gazing at Kurt in wonder, as though he were a special gift to be cherished.
'Damn right he is' Burt thought, unconsciously taking slower steps the closer they got to the altar. Far too soon for Burt's liking, they reached their destination and the service continued, Burt keeping a tight hold on Kurt's arm.
His baby boy was grown up. He was getting married. A small sob escaped Burt's lips. He didn't want to let his baby boy go.
Swallowing, Kurt leaned in close to whisper in his dad's ear.
"You can let go now, daddy," Kurt told him. "I'm ready. I'll be ok. You can let go."
Letting out a long sigh, Burt pressed a kiss to Kurt's temple and looked to Sebastian. The young man had eyes only for Kurt. Eyes full of love and promises of forever. Sebastian was looking at Kurt just how Burt used to look at Kurt's mum and how he now looked at Carole. He let go of Kurt's arm and watched his son get married.
XXX
Inevitably, Burt's health deteriorated. He was an old man with no hair, few teeth, skin lined with wrinkles and though he had countless happy memories of his son it still didn't seem like it was enough.
He had seen Kurt the day before. His son had visited, bringing fresh grapes and flowers with him and he had sat in the chair by his bedside holding onto his hand as they shared memories of the years gone by.
To Burt, the day before seemed like a lifetime ago. He was tired, so very tired, but he refused to let his eyes close for more than a few seconds. He needed to stay awake. He needed to see his boy one more time.
That night, Kurt arrived with a fresh set of flowers. He had a quick word with the night nurse, asking if there had been any improvement to his father's health.
"He's only hanging on for you," the pretty nurse told him.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Kurt quietly entered his father's hospital ward.
"Hey, daddy," Kurt greeted forcing on a smile as he swept inside and set the flowers on the bedside table.
"Hey… kiddo," Burt struggled to say, spluttering as he did so.
Even as tears filled his eyes, Kurt didn't let his smile falter. Inside, he was dying. Seeing his father, the strongest man he ever knew looking so fragile made his heart bleed. It had been unbearable seeing his father this way back in high school. It was a million times worse seeing him in a hospital bed now.
Although he didn't voice it out loud, Kurt knew this visit with his father would be his last. Ignoring the chair by the bedside, Kurt crawled carefully onto the bed and snuggled next to his father.
"Kurt," Burt breathed shallowly and Kurt could tell it caused him great pain just to speak. "I am… so… so proud…of you."
"I'm so proud of you," Kurt replied and a tear dropped down his cheek.
"My… special…" Burt lifted a trembling hand to wipe away the tear from his son's face. "Special… little… boy," his words were barely more than a whisper. "I… love you."
"I love you too," Kurt returned holding Burt's hand and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "You can let go now, daddy," Kurt told him quietly and Burt's eyes fluttered closed. "You can let go. It's gonna be a little bit scary but… I want you to know," Kurt's voice was completely choked up with tears. "I'll be ok now, daddy," Kurt assured him. "You can let go. You can let go."
The End
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