This is my first attempt at using this feature on so please be lenient.
My disclaimer is fairly easy. I own no-one in this fanfic. I have no imagination. Thank you for listening to my sob story and mainly frequent self pity.
Oh wait, and just to warn you, I will be giving away substantial bits of the storyline of each of these stories. But, I mean, that's only to be expected. This is a fanfiction, crossover or no, and in order to write a fanfiction, one must have a basic grasp of the characters, which usually includes having read the book(s).
Whoops, there I go, off on a tangent.
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A Large Amount of Confusion
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Chapter 1
In which I use an annoyingly typical template for chapter titles
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"Damnation," muttered Merlin, "I have made a grave mistake. My spell has gone terribly wrong." Looking around at the mess he had made, he uttered an oath. Suddenly…
"Bloody hell!" He put both hands over his mouth.
"What on earth possessed me to say that?" he wondered. Out of nowhere stepped Rupert Grint.
"Oi," he said, lunging at Merlin, "That's my catchphrase."
"And so it begins," said Merlin sadly as Rupert began to jump on his head.
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In an entirely different world, Doc Brown was putting the final touches on the revised time machine that would bring Marty back to the 80's. Stopping to look at what he considered to be his most exceptional work yet (or to be?), he had a sudden revelation.
"Great Scott!" He rushed to Marty.
"Marty!" he yelled shakily, "There is something catastrophic going down in the space/time continuum! If we do not stop the events making these changes," he screamed, working himself up into a frenzy, "It could result in something..." He began to burble at a loss for words.
"DEEPLY CATASTROPHIC!" he managed to finish.
"Whoa Doc," gasped Marty, "that's pretty heavy." For a moment, he considered asking the Doc how he knew that but decided against it. With the Doc, it was better just to go with the flow. Doc Brown made a few adjustments to the time-travelling car with a screwdriver.
"The Delorean will now travel through space and time," the Doc explained as he hustled Marty into the car, switched it into gear, and drove it right through the wall of his garage. He drove it down the road, gradually picking up speed as Marty, at a loss for words tried to gesture something to the Doc in a complicated sort of sign language as he babbled feebly.
"Alright Marty," said the Doc, "brace yourself. We have almost reached 88 miles per hour."
"B-but Doc," sputtered Marty, "it needs 1.21 gigawatts. How are we going to get that kind of energy? The lightning storm isn't until Saturday night." The Doc took a deep breath and looked crestfallen.
"Damn," he said, "damn, damn, damn, damn, damn." Suddenly, just as they reached 88 miles per hour, a lightning bolt came down and struck the metal wire that lead directly to the car's flux capacitor. The car began to create sparks, forming a portal that the car flashed through.
"Nice aim, Zeus," said Thor approvingly.
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Cimorene was very confused. One moment ago, she had been walking through the Enchanted Forest, trying to find Morwen and Telemain's house, and now she found herself standing under a lamppost, surrounded by snow and forest. Looking around, she saw two impeccably dressed men standing behind her, watching her. One had dark hair and was looking at her with a vague, dreamy sort of look, and the other had hair that was an improbable shade of blond and had a rather shocked look on, which he quickly changed to a courteous but slightly twisted smile.
"I was wondering when the next one would arrive," he remarked. Cimorene looked intently at them. She felt certain that these two men had brought her to this strange place. She was especially convinced by the blond one; he looked extremely dishonest. But if they had brought her here for seemingly malicious intent then...
"Arglefraster!" she said quickly, pointing at them. The two men were drenched by a flood of soapy water with lemon juice. Nevertheless, they didn't melt. The blond one let out a cry of anguish and started wringing out his suit, screaming something Cimorene couldn't understand. The other only looked less vague.
"May I inquire why you did that?" he said. Embarrassed, Cimorene decided that the best thing to do would be to be polite.
"I'm very sorry," she said. By now, the blond man had discovered that what she had drenched him with was only soapy water and had stopped shrieking but was still trying to dry off his suit.
"I thought," she continued, "you were wizards." The blond man abruptly began to laugh.
"You...thought...we...were...wizards?" he managed to blurt out as he laughed.
"Perhaps I had better explain," said the dark haired one, "I am Chrestomanci and that gentleman over there is Howl. We are both wizards although I am more specifically an enchanter." Cimorene glared at Howl whose incessant laughing was beginning to get on her nerves. He stopped quickly when he saw look on her face. She turned back to Chrestomanci.
"Explain." she said, annoyed.
Chrestomanci and Howl didn't seem to know much about their current situation. The only thing she managed to find out was that they were an entirely type of wizard from what she was used to. From what she could tell, Howl, though called a wizard, was more like a magician and Chrestomanci's magic was much the same but slightly more like a fire witch's.
"We really have no idea what happened," said Howl, "I was in my house when I suddenly found myself here. Chrestomanci arrived soon afterward." He suddenly tensed. "Someone's coming," he hissed, starting to gabble something. Chrestomanci strode toward the forest and disappeared.
"Now look here," said Cimorene, "you two just can't vanish and leave me to find out, HEY!" Howl had just disappeared.
"Why do I always end up having to do everything myself." She stood her ground and waited, holding her breath. Out of the woods in front of her walked a strange creature. From the waist up he was a man with curly hair and horns but from the waist down he had the hindquarters of a goat. He was holding an umbrella and had his tail draped over his arm. He stopped, startled, then asked, "Are you a Daughter of Eve?"
"Sorry, a what?" Cimorene said.
"A Daughter of Eve."
"I don't…think so." Sleigh bells sounded far off in the distance.
"The Queen," whispered the creature, "If she finds me talking to you she'll have my horns."
"But wait, what, who…?" The creature fled into the forest. As the sound of the bells grew louder, Howl and Chrestomanci reappeared.
"Why didn't either of you stop to help me," Cimorene said forcefully.
"You seemed quite capable of taking care of the situation yourself," said Chrestomanci. Howl was looking puzzled.
"Strange," he murmured, "That must have been Mr. Tumnus." He began to walk toward the sound of the bells.
"And the lamppost…" Cimorene looked at Chrestomanci who shrugged and began to follow Howl. After a moment, Cimorene followed. They followed Howl out of the forest and toward the bells. When they caught up with Howl, he was staring at a sled that had arrived on the snowy plains. The sled was drawn by a white reindeer and was driven by a dwarf. But it was the lady riding in the sled that had obviously caught Howl's interest. She was dressed in white furs and had a very white face and blood red lips. She had beautiful eyes, which were nevertheless very cruel. Howl's smile snapped on and he bowed elegantly. The cruel lady smiled coldly.
"I am the queen of this land. I have been searching for one such as you. Will you come with me." The last statement was more of a demand than a question.
"How could I refuse such a beautiful lady," Howl said gallantly. He climbed into the sled and as the dwarf cracked his whip, the sled began to move. Howl turned around and smiled wickedly at Cimorene and Chrestomanci before the sled was too far away. Cimorene glared at the retreating sled.
"What possessed him to do that?" she muttered.
"I believe he liked her," said Chrestomanci mildly.
"No," said Cimorene, "he was only flirting. And that would be fine, except that that woman looked exceptionally evil and Howl will probably do something silly." She sighed.
"I suppose we'll have to go after him."
"Yes we probably should," said Chrestomanci. They trudged off through the snow, following the sled tracks.
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Hooray! If you've read this far without giving up in confusion, you are either very well read or just plain crazy.
I am not going to say anything so stupid as 'You see the little purple button? Well press it and…' or anything of that nature. I will simply state that it might be nice to have maybe one review
.No, but seriously, if you would like to criticise my character assessments you can do so… in a review…
(HINT HINT!!!!!!!!!)