Aggressive Homer

Chapter 1: Bart's in Trouble

One day in Springfield, USA, Bart and Milhouse were at school preparing for the test they were about to take. You'd think they were studying… but they weren't. Bart and Milhouse were preparing a strategy to cheat! Neither of them studied over the weekend, nor did they pay attention in class during the past month. This test was worth 50 percent of their grade, so it was important that they scored a high score. Since neither of them knew anything about the subject that Mrs. Krabappel had been teaching, they were doomed… unless they cheated.

"So, Mil, how are we going to cheat?" Bart whispered to his best friend who sat next to him.

"What? I can't hear you," Milhouse whispered back.

"I said how are we going to cheat?" Bart said a little bit more loudly.

"What?" Milhouse asked again.

"How… are… we… going… to… CHEAT?" Bart emphasized a little bit more loudly.

Bart had been whispering the whole time, and the class was chatting more loudly. With those factors in mind, Milhouse could barely hear a word Bart said. He looked a bit hesitant to ask again, because Bart already told him three times. Milhouse just sat there looking meek for a moment, and then quietly muttered, "What?"

On impulse, Bart slapped his forehead, stood on his desk, and shouted, "I SAID, HOW ARE WE GOING TO CHEAT?" "Damn it, Milhouse, are you deaf or something?" But at that moment, there was a cold silence in the room. Everyone was staring at Bart. Bart looked toward Mrs. Krabappel's desk, but noticed that she was not there. She was right behind him.

"Excuse me, Bart, were you planning to cheat?" Mrs. Krabappel said angrily.

Bart looked at his teacher. "N-n-no, no, Mrs. Krabappel. Me and Milhouse were talking about how we were going to cheat on… on… uh… our new video game. Yeah, see we printed some cheats off the internet, and there's a million different cheats to unlock the same code, so we were deciding…"

"Bart, come with me," Mrs. Krabappel glared. She took Bart's hand, and Bart got off his desk. The two left the classroom and went to Principal Skinner's office.

"Ha, ha!" Nelson laughed as they left.

"Really, Mrs. Krabappel, Milhouse and I weren't going to cheat," Bart said, trying to squirm out of Mrs. Krabappel's grip.

"Like I'd really believe you," Mrs. Krabappel said.

The two then entered Principal Skinner's office, where Bart had been taken at least 100 times that year. When Skinner saw Bart and Mrs. Krabappel, he suddenly looked stressed and tired. "Oh, great, not him again…" he moaned. "What did he do this time?"

"He and Milhouse were planning to cheat," sighed Mrs. Krabappel.

"Milhouse? Why didn't you bring him down here?" Skinner said.

"Because this kid here pisses me off so much and – ah, what the hell?" Mrs. Krabappel poked her head out the door and looked into the door of the class, which just happened to be a few rooms down from the principal's. "HEY! VANHOUTEN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE!" Everyone watched as Milhouse sadly walked down the aisle and into the hall. Then, he entered the principal's office.

"Okay, boys, you were going to cheat. Why?" Skinner said, asking it in a tone that sounded like it he said it very often.

"Bart and I did not look over our educational reference materials," Milhouse said.

"Yeah, not only that, but we didn't study!" Bart said. Milhouse sighed, because he had just said that exact same thing… only with more complicated words.

"Bart, Milhouse, you've been in here over a hundred times. This has to stop. I've got to do something serious to punish you. But, the school charter says that I can only do that if you've been in here over 250 times. So, therefore… the only thing I can do is… call your parents…" sighed Skinner.

"NO!" the boys shouted. They begged Skinner not to do that, but he had already called Milhouse's mom. Then, when he was finished, he called Bart's parents. Apparently, nobody was at the Simpson household, so he called Homer at the nuclear plant.

Meanwhile, Homer was at the nuclear plant while sleeping on the job. Just then, Lenny came in. "Hey, Homer! Mr. Burns told me to tell you that you've got a phone call," Lenny said.

"Ooh, goody!" exclaimed Homer. "I'll bet it's about those million chocolate doughnuts I ordered!"

"You ordered a million doughnuts? Man, you're crazy," Lenny said, leaving.

Homer went to the phone. "Hello, this is Homer Simpson! Have you shipped my million doughnuts yet?"

"No… Mr. Simpson… I haven't. I don't even have a million doughnuts. This isn't even the right place…" Skinners said before being cut off.

"D'oh!" shouted Homer. "Now you listen to me you no good doughnut company! I want them now… OR DEATH!"

"But Mr. Simpson, this is Seymore Skinner from Springfield Elementary," Mr. Skinners said.

Homer scoffed. "Yeah, right, that's what they all say. Now gimme my doughnuts."

"Just a moment, please," Mr. Skinners said. He covered the phone and said to Mrs. Krabappel, "What an idiot." Then, he went back to Homer. He pretended to be a phone operator. "Your call is being transferred to Springfield Elementary to Mr. Skinner. Please hold," he said.

"Whatever," Homer said.

Mr. Skinner waited a moment, and then went back to being himself. "Mr. Simpson, I have some bad news. Your son, Bart, planned to cheat on his test."

"What? What!" roared Homer. "I'll teach him when I get home!" he shouted, slamming down the phone. He panted heavily after he hung up. Homer then jogged angrily back to the room where he worked. However, he accidentally tripped and smashed his head in the ground. He got amnesia and did not wake up for several hours.

"Let's try the Simpson residence again, just to make sure his mother knows as well," Mr. Skinners said. He tried the Simpson household again, and this time Marge answered.

"Hello," she said.

"Yes, this is Principal Skinner. I just called to inform you that Bart planned to cheat on his test," he said.

"Oh no, not again," Marge said. "I'll make sure he gets a proper punishment when he gets home," she said.

Skinners hung up. "Now both of you boys go back to class, stand in the corners, and don't exchange another word for the rest of the day," Skinners said ominously. The boys shivered and followed Mrs. Krabappel back to class. They both feared what punishments they would receive when returning home.