I love Hoffman and Bernie together so I thought I'd write this little short story.
It was a peaceful night on Vectes as Bernie patrolled the island with Mac. She much preferred having the dog with her rather than being alone. But being without another person certainly gave her a lot of time to think. She'd been thinking a lot recently. About the past and the future. But mainly the past. There was a time when she though she'd never see her old friends again. But here she was, reunited with her old friends from the 26th Royal Tyran Infantry. There was a time when she didn't know if they were even still alive. A time when she thought she'd never see Victor Hoffman again. Since they'd been reunited, they had slowly picked up where they left off all those years ago. She sometimes wondered what would have happened if Victor didn't leave her to marry someone else. Would they have stayed together all these years? Would she of stayed with him in Ephyra and not made a long and hard journey across Sera to get back there? She'd been thinking a lot of thoughts like this recently. She kept telling herself that it didn't matter now. The past was the past and the present is more important. That's how she had to force herself to think. She had reached the cliffs now. As she looked across at the sea, it was almost hard to believe this was a dying world. Where she was right now all seemed so peaceful and normal. She sat down on the grass, and Mac laid beside her. She gently patted his head as he looked up at her. Her thoughts went back to Victor. She often wondered if he still thought about his dead wife. She knew he did. She knew that he felt responsible for her death. She didn't even know if her ex husband, Neal, was still alive. It was different for her. Neal was unfaithful to her. It was easy to leave and forget about him. But Victors wife had died. Did he still miss her? Did he still, love her? Bernie sometimes felt that Victor had just settled for her. They were both getting on in years and maybe he thought he wouldn't find anyone else. She found that particular thought unsettling. She really did love him and she was afraid that he was only with her because he didn't want to be alone. She really wanted to speak to him about all these thoughts, but it was hard to know what to say to him. What with everything else that was going on right now, she didn't want to give him anything else to worry about. She sat there for a few more minutes contemplating what she may say to him. Then, realising that it was getting late, she decided to make her way back.
Hoffman heard the key in the door of the small quarters that he and Bernie shared. He felt relieved to hear her come back. He always worried about her being out there alone, even if she had a dog with her. As soon as she came in, Mac jumped up on the bed, much to Vic's protest.
"When are you gonna teach that dog some house rules"
"He's tired, give him a break"
"Well, he's not sleeping on the bed again tonight. Not after last time. I'm still picking dog hair out of the mattress"
Bernie smiled to herself. He was always complaining about the dog, but she knew he loved him really.
"Anything going on out there tonight"
"No not really. It was actually quite peaceful out there"
"Well, I'm just glad your back safe. I do worry about you you know"
"You really don't need to. I can take care of myself you know"
He did know. She was a survival expert. She spent years travelling across Sera and had survived. But he still worried about her.
"I know. But I still worry"
Bernie found that endearing. She decided that it was best not to bring up what she was thinking. It was probably for the best.
Bernie laid awake for some time that night, staring at the ceiling. Try as she might, her thoughts were keeping her awake. She knew she'd feel better if she spoke to Vic about them. She knew that keeping things bottled up was a bad idea.
"Vic" She whispered softly. "Are you awake?"
Luckily he was.
"Yeah. Still awake. Are you ok?"
"Yeah. Just had something on my mind that's all"
"Ok. What's on your mind?"
She took a deep breath before she began. "I've been thinking recently. About us"
"Oh God, I knew this was too good to be true. She's thinking about ending things between us" was all he could think.
"Ok" was all he said.
"I've been thinking about the past a lot lately. Been wondering how different things may have been if we didn't part ways all those years ago"
He still felt guilty about leaving her all those years ago.
"It doesn't matter Bernie. We're together now right?"
"Right. It's just . . . never mind"
"What. C'mon you can tell me"
She sighed before saying "It's just, well, you must still think about her"
"Who, Margaret?"
"Yeah. I mean, she was your wife. Oh God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought her up its just . . ."
"For God sake Bernie, why is this bothering you now"
"Well. I sometimes feel like, I'm second best" she said, feeling a bit silly for saying it.
Now he understood. He turned on his side to face her.
"Bernie, you are not second best. You never were"
"I know. I'm sorry that I brought this whole thing up. I guess I thought that maybe you just, settled for me"
It made him sad to think that she felt that way. "Have I made her feel that way. Is there something I've done. Or not done" "Bernie, look at me"
She turned around to face him. He reached over and gently touched her arm.
"Of course I didn't just settle for you"
"Really?" she asked
"You said that I still think about Margaret. Well, of course I do. But I never stopped thinking about you all those years. I often wondered if I made the right choice. Well, I know that I've made the right choice now" he said as he moved his hand up to her cheek.
"I'm sorry for feeling this way"
"It's ok, you don't have to be sorry. Look, I haven't really said this yet, but I just want you to know how much it meant to me when I found out that you were still alive"
She smiled at him. "It meant a lot to me to. To find you after all these years. Part of me knew you were out there still"
Victor pulled her into his arms and said "Well, I'm glad you found me"
Bernie felt reassured by his words
"I'm glad I found you to" she replied.
She sighed, feeling much better now.
"You know I love you right?" He asked.
"I know. And I love you to"
The pair didn't say any more words to each other. They didn't need to. Despite everything that was going on in the world right now, he knew he'd be ok as long as she was by his side.
Just a few points for anyone who hasn't read the books. Hoffman and Bernie had a relationship years before, before he married someone else. When Margaret Victors wife, found out that Prescott was planning to fire the hammer of dawn all over the planet she was very angry that Victor kept it from her. She ventured outside of Ephyra to look for her sister. She didn't make it back so Victor felt responsible for her death. Bernie was also married. After emergence day, I can't remember how long, she found out that he was having an affair. She decided that there was no point staying put, especially when she found out that there was a recall for all Gears to go back to Ephyra. She then made a long and hard journey back there.