Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki No Kyojin or any of the characters. Rights go to Hajime Isayama.
Potatoes. Bread. Food. Those were what people thought were her driving points. Yes, those were indeed things that she enjoyed and liked but sometimes it hurt. It hurt to be nothing but a personified stomach. It was painful to know that for a lot of people, she would be nothing but a goofy girl with an appetite as large as Eren's bruises after a training session with Annie. Could she really blame them? She supposed not. After all, it was her choice when it came to how enthusiastic she was with food but she still wanted to be viewed as more. She still wanted for people to look at her. To really look at her. Yes, she was Sasha Braus. Yes, she loved potatoes and bread and food. No, that was not everything that you needed to know about her.
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It took awhile to get used to the military life. Waking up early. Limited food consumption. Taxing training throughout the day. Bed. And the whole cycle would just continue. If not for her rock-hard determination and her unwavering feelings regarding the situation humanity was in, Sasha was sure that she would've given up ages ago. She did not give up though. She continued to train and train as if her life depended on it, and in some ways it did. As frightening as the idea was, she wanted to hurry up and graduate so that she could contribute to mankind. The titans were scary, terrifying creatures. They were. But this is what she felt like she needed to do. She wanted to help. Although, despite her normally positive attitude, sometimes it all became too much to bear.
There were moments when it became to be too much. There were moments when she felt like crying.
The first time she suffered from a breakdown was after two weeks of beginning the military lifestyle. Something just came down. Dark, negative feelings came surging out of nowhere and before she knew it she was heaving silent sobs in the girls' quarters. Both hands were placed tightly on her mouth. She was desperately afraid that she'd wake someone up, although with the training regiment from hell Shadis put them through, she highly doubted that waking up any of the unmoving bodies before her was possible.
Why was she crying? She really didn't know. She just felt sad. She felt frustrated. She felt weak. She felt hopeless. She felt scared. She was scared out of her mind. There were so many things to be afraid of. There were so many things that had her shaking and quivering and trembling and goddammit everything hurt inside.
That was when, suddenly as if they were manifested from the darkness that surrounded her, arms wrapped around the troubled girl. What more could she do but gasp and sloppily try and halt it in her throat immediately after.
Her body went cold with fear. Her heart was beating so erratically she thought that it'd surely jump right out of her chest and create a bloody puddle on the floor.
"Shhh."
The arms wrapped around her even tighter, pulling her into the unidentified person's body. It was warm. She felt warm. It took her a few moments to realize that she wasn't crying anymore. Maybe that was because she was too busy trying not to crap her pants from fear and shock, but it was still an improvement.
"Are you feeling better?" A smooth, soft voice whispered. The stranger's lips were right on her ear. If it weren't for pure exhaustion and a pinch of confusion, Sasha was sure that she'd be the color of a tomato.
Warm breath eased her into a pleasant state of standing at the border between sleep and consciousness. The stranger's heartbeat seemed to synchronize with her own which only made the experience that much more comforting. All the fear and pain that was present in her body not too long ago seemed to be completely washed away.
"Yes," Sasha breathed. "Yes, much better."
The two stayed in that position for what seemed like forever, until the stranger untangled herself from Sasha's limbs.
"Goodnight."
Racking her brain with trying to identify the quiet voice that addressed her, Sasha went through several females until she scrunched her nose. Hm, could it be?
"Goodnight…Mikasa?"
She was rewarded with an almost silent chuckle.
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Sasha wasn't the strongest person within the trainees. She wasn't the strongest female either. She was average. Maybe even above average, although most of that thinking came from Connie who was always quick to brofist her and tell her that no maybe she wasn't the greatest but how many other people can fart when they get through to the ground during spars and have it in them to still do it with grace. That reasoning never really made much sense to her but she rarely ever questioned it because it was Connie after all.
That being said, sometimes she did enjoy training by herself when she didn't need to. It was a rare occasion, but there came times when she just felt she needed to move her body a bit more. If there was a certain technique that Annie managed to sneak half the trainees into learning, her and Mina would practice it among themselves whenever they got time.
On one particular day, the brunette decided to hang around the training fields a little longer. One reason being that her legs were killing her – no. Her everything was killing her and Connie refused to carry her to the sleeping quarters. Stretching should've fixed that up.
Sitting on the ground, she had her legs spread apart. She tried to make it so that she could bend down and have her head touch the floor but it was turning out to be useless. Flexibility wasn't one of her strong points. And on top of that, her stomach was rumbling a little too loudly to be classified as safe. "I'll just crawl the whole way."
Setting down the whole operation, Sasha was prepared to sprawl herself all over the ground and roll her way back to the quarters, but something was preventing her. A pressure hit her back suddenly and before she knew it her head was rammed into the ground. "Aaaaah!"
"It's not very soldier-like to quit like that," came a melodic voice above her.
"I think my spine is broken."
"Hm," a slight sigh could be heard. "Sorry."
Sasha immediately brought her upper body up as soon as the pressure was removed from her back. Once she turned around all she could do was smile. "Mikasaaaaaaaa!" Her eyes were watery as if she were about to cry as she latched onto the dark-haired girl before her. "Have you come to be my knight in shining armor!? I thought I was going to have to cry in this spot until tomorrow!"
Disregarding the brunette's obvious discomfort with moving even an inch, Mikasa pulled her up so that she was half standing – half hunched over her shoulder. "Eren expressed sadness in such a 'comedy gold-mine' dying of hypothermia in the dead of the night."
"How mean! Mikasa you think more of me right?"
She was rewarded with silence.
And in that split second she was heaved up by the stronger girl. Dark brown mixed with black. "Uwaaah?"
"I think the blame would be placed on me if we found you dead tomorrow morning."
"That's cold."
The two spent the rest of their time in silence while Mikasa began to walk towards the girls' quarters. Well, as far as exchanging words went they were silent. Sasha's stomach had several things to convey.
"Hey, Mikasa."
The girl in question only hummed to signal that she was listening.
"Thanks. I mean, thanks for what you did that one night. I don't know what came over me. Um, it's embarrassing….maybe. But yeah, thanks a lot you really saved me back then and I don't –"
A hand was slapped over Sasha mouth. "We can all sympathize with each other in one way or another."
"But still….." Sasha nuzzled into the girl's hair. She felt her stiffen but her body slowly softened as they got closer to their destination. "It's always nice to know someone cares."
Another silence took over them. After a few moments they had finally made it to where they wanted to be.
"Is it okay if I set you down here?"
"Yeah."
Mikasa let go of Sasha's legs causing the hurting girl to go tumbling to the ground. "Woops, sorry."
Most likely because she had somewhere to be, Mikasa turned on her heels and began to walk away. But with a last thought, she turned her head slightly and eyed the girl sprawled out on the dirt. "Next time you need extra help with training, you should come to me."
Sasha could only smile. "I wouldn't go to anyone else."
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"Five people. I don't know how you think you're going to hide this one." Annie flipped her hair out of her face as she turned to her friend. "Shadis is going to notice all the blood on the floor either way."
Mikasa frowned. A bit of blood coated her hands. "Whatever. I'll accept punishment."
Armin and Connie exchanged nervous glances. Connie rubbed his head while offering, "hey punishment from Shadis isn't something you should take lightly. I hear Reiner was late to a morning session once and he came back to the boys' quarters with tears in his eyes and refused to sleep on his bunk alone."
Armin agreed soulfully. "Yeah, Mikasa! Maybe you should….m-maybe….m-m-maybe hide the bodies!"
"They're out cold, Armin. They are not dead."
"Why'd you take them out anyway," Annie questioned. There was hint of curiousness hidden in her eyes.
"It shouldn't matter," Mikasa answered. She stood over one of the bodies and looked at it with disdain. "I'll just leave them here. If Shadis asks why there are five bloodied bodies outside the mess hall then I'll explain that it was me."
Connie shuddered. "But man, Mikasa! The way you beat them up was crazy awesome. Lucky I was a little late with leaving because I got to see this."
After a few of Armin's attempts to bury the bodies, Connie fangirling over the top female of the class, and Annie rolling her eyes a few times more than normal, Mikasa managed to get the three to leave and go back to their quarters.
Someone uttered a moan.
"Awake?"
One of the bodies on the floor stiffened. "I'm so – so – so sorry! Whatever I did, I didn't mean it! Please don't kill me!"
Mikasa crouched down so that she could look the terrified boy in the eyes. "You don't know what you did?" Her voice was low and dangerous.
The boy shook his head. His eyes were watery and his stifled a cry. "I really don't!"
The girl sighed and grabbed the back of his hair. As she pulled him up the boy began to cry for real. "Please show more respect to your fellow comrades, hm."
"What!?"
"Next time I hear you talk about potato girl in such a manner again, I'll make Shadis's punishments look like a walk in the park. Do I make my self clear? And tell you friends too."
She threw him back on the ground and didn't bother to stay and watch him shrivel away into the fetal position.
"You can come out now." Mikasa smiled to herself as she turned the corner. A hand came out from the darkness and landed right on her shoulder. "I think I should help out with your training more. You are horrible at hiding your presence."
Sasha didn't say anything. Her grip on Mikasa's should was tight. When she looked up, Mikasa could make out tears forming in the brunette's eyes. Those tears turned into a waterfall as she croaked out a cry. Her face looked pitiful – even in the dark.
"That isn't very soldier-like, Sasha."
"Mikasaaaaaa!" Sasha removed her death-grip from the other girl's shoulder and threw her arms around her built frame. "You really do caaaaaaaaare."
"Shhh."
The crying girl sniffled and let herself be dragged by her friend. Her feet slid across the dirt as Mikasa continued to walk to the girls' quarters.
"T-thank you for standing up for me!" If it were anyone else, it was a sure point that they would not be able to understand the crying and moaning that the other girl was hollering.
Mikasa used her strength so that Sasha spun off of her back and into her arms. A serious look took her face as she stared at the wide-eyes in front of her. "You need to start standing up for yourself."
Sasha halted her crying and looked back at the dark orbs. A small, pained smile took over her features. "But I'm used to it. It's not big deal."
That would not do. That just would not do for the oriental female. She crinkled her nose with frustration. She didn't get it. Why did this girl take herself for so much less than what she was worth.
"Well, you shouldn't be used to it. Sasha, you are a wonderful girl. You are hard-working and determined and full of hope and faith. You are strong and courageous and kind. You are funny and a good sport. You are more than what you take yourself for and I wish you could see what I see."
Sasha stood in shock. It was strange and unexpected. Despite her serious demenour, it has long since been established that when you do not provoke a violent reaction, Mikasa can be quite the kind person. The thing was that when it came to expressing such strong feelings, it was usually Eren and Armin who were on the receiving end. Usually Eren.
"Huh….Mikasa," was all Sasha could spit out. The two girls stayed in that position for awhile until Sasha finally smiled. "That….that really means a lot."
"So please start treating yourself with more respect."
Sasha hugged a surprised Mikasa. Her head nuzzled into her neck and she refused to let go no matter who may have passed and gave them weird looks. Her face moved closer until their noses were touching and not a breath of oxygen went unshared.
"What are you doing?"
Sasha giggled and kissed the other girl on the cheek. As soon as she did that she backed away with a huge smile on her face. Mikasa's face in comparison was flushed and pulled into a surprised expression.
"What was that?..."
"A kiss for my night in shining armor of course!"
Mikasa sighed and shook her head as if she were trying to get thoughts out of her head. "Were you even listening to what I said?"
"Of course. I'm so used to your lectures by now," she chuckled teasingly.
The dark-haired girl groaned and walked passed Sasha. The teaser in questioned laughed whole-heartedly and followed her friend. She didn't stop until the two were stepping in synch and were hand-in-hand.
"You're acting inappropriate."
"But friends can hold hands too."
"You're more trouble than what you're worth."
"And would you have it any other way?"
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this is my first published work here on ff and wow okay that actually really sucked.
but thank you for reading - reviews/feedback are very much appreciated xoxo