I Only Need To Hear It Once: 1.Goodbye
~A/N~
Oh! ^-^ I had inspiration while writing in my journal about my pitiful life.
Warnings/Notes: Yaoi.Seto/Yami.Song-fic.So sad...
Disclaimer: Look,i'm crying now at reading a very sad Seto Yami fic.So,this will be easier to describe what he is feeling...poor Yami...Just to make this short,i don't own it.There.Happy?
Summary: Yami heard that one word echoing in his mind...over and over again;it repeated...he couldn't stand it;no! He couldn't take the pain...the tremondous amount of pain...'Goodbye...',it said;and it continued saying it...
Goal: To make people cry.Though,i think the song sucks in the middle.
Dedication: To one's who loved another;to one's who are heartbroken...may this story be imprinted in your heart forever...Remember,*remember*,"Goodbye..."
-------------------
"Goodbye...",that one single word that broke away from beautiful berry lips,also broke something deep inside the former Pharoah's body.His heart;his soul...they crashed and burned when hearing that one word.How can he feel so much pain from one word? Simple,because it came out from the one and only person he ever loved.
//Goodbye
that's all you say
Goodbye
i hear it all day//
The word alone made Yami's body shudder with all too familiar pain.He looked at the cobalt eyes of his former love;searching.Searching desperately that it wasn't true...it couldn't be true...!
He then felt a disturbing feeling shiver throughout his form before he felt burning tears line his thick eyelashes.This was pain...this was pain that he couldn't take on,it was too strong!
But...why fight it? It was his inevitable fate.He couldn't run away from it and win,he couldn't fight with it and win.No...he couldn't.Because by the time he starts,he would be too weak from the devouring pain deep within him that was just urging him to let it come out and surface.
//Goodbye
I just can't fight it
Goodbye
I can't deny it//
"...No...!",he breathed out in shock.His crimson eyes were so wide that his pupils decreased in size.But,it didn't last too long when he opened them up again after a blink of tears.They were turned from shock to hurt;and hurt to pleading.His gaze wavered slightly as unshed tears glistened in an unknown light.The night's darkness made it only worse;no moonlight;no stars...it was pitch black...and it felt...empty.
That was it,empty.And that was what he felt.
The figure before him gave him an unreadable expression before;with a graceful flip of his trench coat;he swiftly walked away.
//I go and cry...
the pitch black night
brings no comfort
brings no light//
As Yami watched him turn and leave,he whispered one word that seemed to making itself noticable in his mind."Goodbye...? Is that it...?",he suddenly became enraged as he clenched his fist tight;the nails piercing his own skin making it slightly bleed a deep scarlet.
"Was i anything to you!? Didn't you love me?!",this seemed to stop the said former high priest in his steps.Though,he didn't turn,Yami knew now that he had finally recieved his attention.
"Tell me Seto...tell me...*I*,Seto,*I*,love you..." he whispered in a soft voice that frightened his listener."Do you fear of loving me...? Do you fear *me*?"
//Goodbye
I can't believe it
Goodbye
I just can't see it//
At this point,Yami's pleads were doubled as he tearfully placed his hand over his heart."Tell me Seto!" Yami yelled as he lowered his head.His blonde bangs hiding tear-filled crimson orbs.He was desperate now.For any response! He just wanted an answer...Was that so much to ask for?
His next questions brought much pain to both of them,both flinching visibly and hurt was clearly in their eyes now.Yami's voice came out in a raspy soft voice.Not at all the voice everyone knew to be deep and proud."What was i to you Seto...?"
//Your silence says it all
I think i'm gonna fall
I want you to speak
Just talk to me//
He didn't want to hear the answer,because he knew it would be just to painful to hear.Yet,he *needed* to know,even if he didn't *want* to know.He couldn't take it anymore,he couldn't take the pain on.He willingly let anguish wash over him and he cried uncontrollably.He fell to the floor on his knees and grabbed his head in his hands.Hands that were already filled with blood;grabbing his tri-colored hair and literally pulling them out.He widened his eyes when shocks as pain coursed throughout his body.He loved Seto...of course he does.So he couldn't just let him go without an explanation! But...it hurt so much...God,it just hurt so much...! He couldn't take the pain,it was too overwhelming and he started shivering despite the warm summer night.
He had to get answers.
//I need answers
I don't want them
just reveal to me
and make me see//
"Seto..." he whispered and flinched inwardly.God! Even saying the name hurt so much...
"Why love me...if you're only going to end up leaving me...? Why love me...if you're only going to end up breaking me...? Why love me...if you're only going to give me pain...? Why love me...if it too causes you pain...?!" he whispered/yelled out in fustration.But,despite the knowledge of this,Seto continued to be silent to his pain-filled questions.
//Why love me
if you're gonna leave me
Why love me
if you're gonna break me//
Yami snapped his head up and with every scream,with every unanswered question...with every second that passed by with silence from the other teen...his heart clenched.It shattered;it broke...Piece by piece did his heart fell...one by one did his heart fell...into oblivion did they;they fell into a void that formed in the bottom of his soul,and it devoured the pieces.
//My heart breaks and shatters
But it doesn't matter
They fall in oblivion
And i flinch and scream//
Yami had to get answers somehow,and continued on with his questions.Knowing that they will still not be answered."Another attempt to challenge me...?" he whispered and took a fearful gulp."Another attempt of trying to find my weak points...? Another attempt to try and *break* me...?"
He knew he wouldn't get a response once again.He knew it was all pointless.In fact,everything was pointless now.Why care if the world crashed down and burned right now? Why would he care when he was already in pain? The world ending,will too,just end his pain.It will end his life in the process,but at least he would be in peace.
//Behind unanswered questions
Behind all this
Is fear and depression
A boy who is scared//
At these questions,Seto turned his head over his shoulder.And everything about him was just radiant.His flawless pale face;mixed shades of brown hair;and to top it all off,his eyes...That was what Yami fell for in the first place;his beautiful,alluring eyes.They were so cold and empty;but when Yami was with him...Oh,he could clearly remember their look.They shined brilliantly with that magnetic pull his lips bring when brought up into a smile.They once held emotions;love,care,protective,possessive,lust...But now...now...they were not filled with these emotions but one...one that made Yami perplexed as he stared at Seto's form.They were filled with one emotion,and that very emotion was guilt.
Guilt...
//I know you feel guilt
So don't hide it from me
I can read you like a book
Because that's i want to see//
But,through all this,he clearly saw,through the darkness;through the shadows;he clearly saw the once proud shoulders of the taller duelist shake.He saw him tighten his grip on his trench coat.And then he saw;he *clearly* saw the said blue eyes for what he truly was.An innocent boy who just had too much on his hands.He had too much stress;to much worry.And now Yami knew why he left;he knew...but,that didn't make a difference! Not the slightest!
How can he just love him,and the next day,leave him? It didn't make sense! It didn't at all! What did he do to deserve this?! What?!
//Behind the freezing mask
Lies an innocent boy
He's frightened and scared
Though he hides them well//
"Well,Seto...",tears continuing to fall down as he muttered his next words."You succeeded.Are you happy now? You succeeded in breaking me Seto...You succeeded in finding my weak point...Or did you?" he tilted his head despite the tears."Did you Seto?" He saw Seto flinch and shut his eyes tight."If you didn't...would you like to know? Would you Seto?" he hiccuped and closed his hands over his heart."Seto...that's my weak my point.You,Seto Kaiba,is my weak point!"
He now saw Seto turn his head away,and he knew he hit something deep down in Seto's heart.
"Did you do this...to try to win in a game? Is that it? Was our relationship a game...? Were you so desperate in winning that you would try and win this...this game of 'love'...? Just so you could break it;shatter it;melt it;kill it...? Well,i guess now..." he whispered and dropped his hands down from his chest limped his head down."...the King of Games lost,and the person who won..." again he brought his head up,"Was you."
//Was all this a game?
Now are you happy?
You won finally
Even in the processing of hurting me//
By this time,Yami just couldn't take the silence from the other teen."Seto! Answer me!" Yami glared through his tears.Rage taking over him as pain cried out and hid behind it.
He couldn't just leave without a reason! He needed an answer! He *will not* allow Seto to leave without an explanation!
The eye of horus glowed brightly on his forehead.But,even though,Seto didn't flinch nor give any sign of fear.He just stood there and looked at Yami with pain and guilt.The only response Yami got through his rage was hurt.Seto had hurt in his eyes...
//Why are you leaving
when you know it hurts me
Why are you leaving
when you know it hurts you//
No! Yami couldn't look at them anymore! Why would Seto be hurt?! He is the one who is causing him and Yami pain! Yami was outraged at Seto.If Seto was feeling pain,why leave him?!
Thunder strike and sliced the midnight sky.Soon followed by a light drizzle that was oblivious by Seto and Yami as they continued to stare at each other.I mean,why would it matter if it rained? If you already felt so much pain...?
Crystal tears still fell from the former pharoah's eyes as the eye died down.His body shook when his emotions were immediately replaced by pain once more.
Blood still flowed out from his clenched fists and dripped onto the ground.A puddle of blood had already formed and mixed in with the oncoming rain.Said rain was falling down even more now,rapidly,it pettled off and on the two pained figures who couldn't have cared less.The rain soaked their clothing;freezing rain.It sent sharp chills that felt like daggers stabbing them numerous of times.
//The pain is never ending
The rain continues pettling
They're stabbing me like knives
But i still have my life//
And it seemed...it seemed that the goddess Hathor was crying,feeling sorry and sympathy towards them.As if it was her fault as well that they were in pain.The Goddess of Love was feeling sorry,as if there was nothing she could do but watch painfully as the couple was splitting apart.
//The pain won't go
That i know
And now she cries
Hathor's tears from the sky//
Just then,just then,Seto spoke.
"...goodbye." and then he turned,and with renewed energy,he ran.He ran so fast that not even a blur was visible.But,one thing was surely visible.One thing that Yami saw,one thing that made a difference to Hathor's almost disappearing tears,one thing that one could only do in pain,one thing that made Yami to even feel guilty about,one thing that changed everything.In that one turn,in that one turn...he did one thing,but even though he did,it disappeared in the rain.Leaving no trace of it,leaving no trace that he actually did that one thing.
That one thing,that one single thing was beautiful yet painful to look at.But,Yami looked at it still,because that one thing was in his mind.It played and repeated in his mind,making him cringe and flinch.Did he cause that one thing? Did he...?
That one beautiful thing that made Yami so frightened that he had to bit back a scream,did he do that?
Did he make Seto actually,*actually*
Cry...?
That one single thing was one single tear.
That one beautiful thing was one beautiful tear.
That one painful thing was one painful tear.
That one frightened thing was one frightened tear.
That one thing that made Yami assume he caused...
Was one guilty tear.
//You turn and walk away
On this almost ending day
One tear falls down
As i'm on the ground//
He made Seto cry...
And that one thought made him cry even more.He choked on a sob and hugged himself tight.Blood from his hand wiping on his wet leather clothing jacket.
Then,with that one turn in his mind,that one word Seto spoke was in his mind as well.
'Goodbye.........goodbye......goodbye...goodbye,goodbyegoodbye' it continued repeating in his mind and gradually became faster and faster.His head started to spin and he grabbed his head in a frantic motion to keep the oncoming headache in.Then,with a painful cry,he fell and collapsed on the wet ground.
And that one turn;that one tear;that one word,repeated;repeated;and echoed in his mind...
'Goodbye...'
//Echoes in my mind...
One turn;
One tear;
One word;
Goodbye...//
~Owari
............Or is it?
In Yami's current state of mind,maybe.
In yours,what do you decide?
--------------------
Well,now i'm guessing people are wondering why i placed the title 'I Only Need To Hear It Once' when it mainly speaks 'Goodbye'.Well,i wanted to do both,cause you won't actually find the meaning of the title until you read the last chapter.
Next chapter 'Regret'.With the normal P.O.V.,but leaning on Seto's.
R+R!
Harika Huynh
[I really tried on this one.I kept on playing sad songs to keep me in a sad mood to make this fic. successful.]
Umm...those who have read Watasi wa hitori might think this is exactly the same,but just a different reason,title and all.And they also might notice that i like to place rain in my fics.People would also notice that i also made this a song fic.,angels or gods/goddesses tears as rain and everything,and so it might not make it as sad as i wanted.But,i tried,i really did.But i guess i'm not as good as i had hoped i would be.Actually,i always knew i wasn't good in wrriting fics.,so,why continue? Give me a reason not to,cause i know its true,or give me a reason to continue.I'm just aiming for 10 reviews,that's all i ask,ok?
~A/N~
Oh! ^-^ I had inspiration while writing in my journal about my pitiful life.
Warnings/Notes: Yaoi.Seto/Yami.Song-fic.So sad...
Disclaimer: Look,i'm crying now at reading a very sad Seto Yami fic.So,this will be easier to describe what he is feeling...poor Yami...Just to make this short,i don't own it.There.Happy?
Summary: Yami heard that one word echoing in his mind...over and over again;it repeated...he couldn't stand it;no! He couldn't take the pain...the tremondous amount of pain...'Goodbye...',it said;and it continued saying it...
Goal: To make people cry.Though,i think the song sucks in the middle.
Dedication: To one's who loved another;to one's who are heartbroken...may this story be imprinted in your heart forever...Remember,*remember*,"Goodbye..."
-------------------
"Goodbye...",that one single word that broke away from beautiful berry lips,also broke something deep inside the former Pharoah's body.His heart;his soul...they crashed and burned when hearing that one word.How can he feel so much pain from one word? Simple,because it came out from the one and only person he ever loved.
//Goodbye
that's all you say
Goodbye
i hear it all day//
The word alone made Yami's body shudder with all too familiar pain.He looked at the cobalt eyes of his former love;searching.Searching desperately that it wasn't true...it couldn't be true...!
He then felt a disturbing feeling shiver throughout his form before he felt burning tears line his thick eyelashes.This was pain...this was pain that he couldn't take on,it was too strong!
But...why fight it? It was his inevitable fate.He couldn't run away from it and win,he couldn't fight with it and win.No...he couldn't.Because by the time he starts,he would be too weak from the devouring pain deep within him that was just urging him to let it come out and surface.
//Goodbye
I just can't fight it
Goodbye
I can't deny it//
"...No...!",he breathed out in shock.His crimson eyes were so wide that his pupils decreased in size.But,it didn't last too long when he opened them up again after a blink of tears.They were turned from shock to hurt;and hurt to pleading.His gaze wavered slightly as unshed tears glistened in an unknown light.The night's darkness made it only worse;no moonlight;no stars...it was pitch black...and it felt...empty.
That was it,empty.And that was what he felt.
The figure before him gave him an unreadable expression before;with a graceful flip of his trench coat;he swiftly walked away.
//I go and cry...
the pitch black night
brings no comfort
brings no light//
As Yami watched him turn and leave,he whispered one word that seemed to making itself noticable in his mind."Goodbye...? Is that it...?",he suddenly became enraged as he clenched his fist tight;the nails piercing his own skin making it slightly bleed a deep scarlet.
"Was i anything to you!? Didn't you love me?!",this seemed to stop the said former high priest in his steps.Though,he didn't turn,Yami knew now that he had finally recieved his attention.
"Tell me Seto...tell me...*I*,Seto,*I*,love you..." he whispered in a soft voice that frightened his listener."Do you fear of loving me...? Do you fear *me*?"
//Goodbye
I can't believe it
Goodbye
I just can't see it//
At this point,Yami's pleads were doubled as he tearfully placed his hand over his heart."Tell me Seto!" Yami yelled as he lowered his head.His blonde bangs hiding tear-filled crimson orbs.He was desperate now.For any response! He just wanted an answer...Was that so much to ask for?
His next questions brought much pain to both of them,both flinching visibly and hurt was clearly in their eyes now.Yami's voice came out in a raspy soft voice.Not at all the voice everyone knew to be deep and proud."What was i to you Seto...?"
//Your silence says it all
I think i'm gonna fall
I want you to speak
Just talk to me//
He didn't want to hear the answer,because he knew it would be just to painful to hear.Yet,he *needed* to know,even if he didn't *want* to know.He couldn't take it anymore,he couldn't take the pain on.He willingly let anguish wash over him and he cried uncontrollably.He fell to the floor on his knees and grabbed his head in his hands.Hands that were already filled with blood;grabbing his tri-colored hair and literally pulling them out.He widened his eyes when shocks as pain coursed throughout his body.He loved Seto...of course he does.So he couldn't just let him go without an explanation! But...it hurt so much...God,it just hurt so much...! He couldn't take the pain,it was too overwhelming and he started shivering despite the warm summer night.
He had to get answers.
//I need answers
I don't want them
just reveal to me
and make me see//
"Seto..." he whispered and flinched inwardly.God! Even saying the name hurt so much...
"Why love me...if you're only going to end up leaving me...? Why love me...if you're only going to end up breaking me...? Why love me...if you're only going to give me pain...? Why love me...if it too causes you pain...?!" he whispered/yelled out in fustration.But,despite the knowledge of this,Seto continued to be silent to his pain-filled questions.
//Why love me
if you're gonna leave me
Why love me
if you're gonna break me//
Yami snapped his head up and with every scream,with every unanswered question...with every second that passed by with silence from the other teen...his heart clenched.It shattered;it broke...Piece by piece did his heart fell...one by one did his heart fell...into oblivion did they;they fell into a void that formed in the bottom of his soul,and it devoured the pieces.
//My heart breaks and shatters
But it doesn't matter
They fall in oblivion
And i flinch and scream//
Yami had to get answers somehow,and continued on with his questions.Knowing that they will still not be answered."Another attempt to challenge me...?" he whispered and took a fearful gulp."Another attempt of trying to find my weak points...? Another attempt to try and *break* me...?"
He knew he wouldn't get a response once again.He knew it was all pointless.In fact,everything was pointless now.Why care if the world crashed down and burned right now? Why would he care when he was already in pain? The world ending,will too,just end his pain.It will end his life in the process,but at least he would be in peace.
//Behind unanswered questions
Behind all this
Is fear and depression
A boy who is scared//
At these questions,Seto turned his head over his shoulder.And everything about him was just radiant.His flawless pale face;mixed shades of brown hair;and to top it all off,his eyes...That was what Yami fell for in the first place;his beautiful,alluring eyes.They were so cold and empty;but when Yami was with him...Oh,he could clearly remember their look.They shined brilliantly with that magnetic pull his lips bring when brought up into a smile.They once held emotions;love,care,protective,possessive,lust...But now...now...they were not filled with these emotions but one...one that made Yami perplexed as he stared at Seto's form.They were filled with one emotion,and that very emotion was guilt.
Guilt...
//I know you feel guilt
So don't hide it from me
I can read you like a book
Because that's i want to see//
But,through all this,he clearly saw,through the darkness;through the shadows;he clearly saw the once proud shoulders of the taller duelist shake.He saw him tighten his grip on his trench coat.And then he saw;he *clearly* saw the said blue eyes for what he truly was.An innocent boy who just had too much on his hands.He had too much stress;to much worry.And now Yami knew why he left;he knew...but,that didn't make a difference! Not the slightest!
How can he just love him,and the next day,leave him? It didn't make sense! It didn't at all! What did he do to deserve this?! What?!
//Behind the freezing mask
Lies an innocent boy
He's frightened and scared
Though he hides them well//
"Well,Seto...",tears continuing to fall down as he muttered his next words."You succeeded.Are you happy now? You succeeded in breaking me Seto...You succeeded in finding my weak point...Or did you?" he tilted his head despite the tears."Did you Seto?" He saw Seto flinch and shut his eyes tight."If you didn't...would you like to know? Would you Seto?" he hiccuped and closed his hands over his heart."Seto...that's my weak my point.You,Seto Kaiba,is my weak point!"
He now saw Seto turn his head away,and he knew he hit something deep down in Seto's heart.
"Did you do this...to try to win in a game? Is that it? Was our relationship a game...? Were you so desperate in winning that you would try and win this...this game of 'love'...? Just so you could break it;shatter it;melt it;kill it...? Well,i guess now..." he whispered and dropped his hands down from his chest limped his head down."...the King of Games lost,and the person who won..." again he brought his head up,"Was you."
//Was all this a game?
Now are you happy?
You won finally
Even in the processing of hurting me//
By this time,Yami just couldn't take the silence from the other teen."Seto! Answer me!" Yami glared through his tears.Rage taking over him as pain cried out and hid behind it.
He couldn't just leave without a reason! He needed an answer! He *will not* allow Seto to leave without an explanation!
The eye of horus glowed brightly on his forehead.But,even though,Seto didn't flinch nor give any sign of fear.He just stood there and looked at Yami with pain and guilt.The only response Yami got through his rage was hurt.Seto had hurt in his eyes...
//Why are you leaving
when you know it hurts me
Why are you leaving
when you know it hurts you//
No! Yami couldn't look at them anymore! Why would Seto be hurt?! He is the one who is causing him and Yami pain! Yami was outraged at Seto.If Seto was feeling pain,why leave him?!
Thunder strike and sliced the midnight sky.Soon followed by a light drizzle that was oblivious by Seto and Yami as they continued to stare at each other.I mean,why would it matter if it rained? If you already felt so much pain...?
Crystal tears still fell from the former pharoah's eyes as the eye died down.His body shook when his emotions were immediately replaced by pain once more.
Blood still flowed out from his clenched fists and dripped onto the ground.A puddle of blood had already formed and mixed in with the oncoming rain.Said rain was falling down even more now,rapidly,it pettled off and on the two pained figures who couldn't have cared less.The rain soaked their clothing;freezing rain.It sent sharp chills that felt like daggers stabbing them numerous of times.
//The pain is never ending
The rain continues pettling
They're stabbing me like knives
But i still have my life//
And it seemed...it seemed that the goddess Hathor was crying,feeling sorry and sympathy towards them.As if it was her fault as well that they were in pain.The Goddess of Love was feeling sorry,as if there was nothing she could do but watch painfully as the couple was splitting apart.
//The pain won't go
That i know
And now she cries
Hathor's tears from the sky//
Just then,just then,Seto spoke.
"...goodbye." and then he turned,and with renewed energy,he ran.He ran so fast that not even a blur was visible.But,one thing was surely visible.One thing that Yami saw,one thing that made a difference to Hathor's almost disappearing tears,one thing that one could only do in pain,one thing that made Yami to even feel guilty about,one thing that changed everything.In that one turn,in that one turn...he did one thing,but even though he did,it disappeared in the rain.Leaving no trace of it,leaving no trace that he actually did that one thing.
That one thing,that one single thing was beautiful yet painful to look at.But,Yami looked at it still,because that one thing was in his mind.It played and repeated in his mind,making him cringe and flinch.Did he cause that one thing? Did he...?
That one beautiful thing that made Yami so frightened that he had to bit back a scream,did he do that?
Did he make Seto actually,*actually*
Cry...?
That one single thing was one single tear.
That one beautiful thing was one beautiful tear.
That one painful thing was one painful tear.
That one frightened thing was one frightened tear.
That one thing that made Yami assume he caused...
Was one guilty tear.
//You turn and walk away
On this almost ending day
One tear falls down
As i'm on the ground//
He made Seto cry...
And that one thought made him cry even more.He choked on a sob and hugged himself tight.Blood from his hand wiping on his wet leather clothing jacket.
Then,with that one turn in his mind,that one word Seto spoke was in his mind as well.
'Goodbye.........goodbye......goodbye...goodbye,goodbyegoodbye' it continued repeating in his mind and gradually became faster and faster.His head started to spin and he grabbed his head in a frantic motion to keep the oncoming headache in.Then,with a painful cry,he fell and collapsed on the wet ground.
And that one turn;that one tear;that one word,repeated;repeated;and echoed in his mind...
'Goodbye...'
//Echoes in my mind...
One turn;
One tear;
One word;
Goodbye...//
~Owari
............Or is it?
In Yami's current state of mind,maybe.
In yours,what do you decide?
--------------------
Well,now i'm guessing people are wondering why i placed the title 'I Only Need To Hear It Once' when it mainly speaks 'Goodbye'.Well,i wanted to do both,cause you won't actually find the meaning of the title until you read the last chapter.
Next chapter 'Regret'.With the normal P.O.V.,but leaning on Seto's.
R+R!
Harika Huynh
[I really tried on this one.I kept on playing sad songs to keep me in a sad mood to make this fic. successful.]
Umm...those who have read Watasi wa hitori might think this is exactly the same,but just a different reason,title and all.And they also might notice that i like to place rain in my fics.People would also notice that i also made this a song fic.,angels or gods/goddesses tears as rain and everything,and so it might not make it as sad as i wanted.But,i tried,i really did.But i guess i'm not as good as i had hoped i would be.Actually,i always knew i wasn't good in wrriting fics.,so,why continue? Give me a reason not to,cause i know its true,or give me a reason to continue.I'm just aiming for 10 reviews,that's all i ask,ok?