The Dejection of Haruhi Suzumiya
***
Disclaimer: I don't own the Haruhi Suzumiya series. I could've never conceived a weirdo like Haruhi.
DaScribbler says: Here we have what is probably (I wouldn't know – I don't read Haruhi fanfics) a much overdone fanfic idea; a rewriting of the last episode (that is, last episode in the broadcast order) from none other than Haruhi Suzumiya's point of view.
After reading the first light novel, I was intrigued by the narrative style. Personally, I don't tend to use so many similes, but the way Kyon does it makes it amazing. And then I wondered what Haruhi was thinking when she decided to tie up her hair into that ponytail.
And there you go; two plus two equals four. This fanfic idea was born. First, I started in third-person, but I quickly scratched that out. Following the light novels, I went with first person. (As a side note, Haruhi has a weird mind – but I'm guessing you already knew that, eh?)
I wrote this about a month ago. I didn't post it until now for two reasons.
1. I wanted to let it cool down for a bit; make sure it's still decent even after the glory of the moment of completion has long since gone. Luckily, Haruhi's eccentric mindset is still as enjoyable to read as ever.
2. I couldn't think of a title. I wanted to go with the classic "The (insert-word-here) of Haruhi Suyzumiya" formula but I couldn't think of anything. I was only able to post this after my friends and I spent about 10 minutes brainstorming. We came up with words like "sorrows", "woes", "mourns", "downcast", "mindset", and other nonsense before we finally struck a decent word. Thank you, ChaosxPaladin, Chocofreakazoid, and Zubi!
So now that you know every single detail about the conceiving and writing of this fanfic, I suppose it is time you went and read it.
Read, enjoy, and review, please and thank you!
***
(Ahem; this bit here is for my Zelda readers) Yes, I know. I suck at updates. Midna's Final Prank is on indefinite hold; I've already wrung about as much comedy as I can out of that fanfic. And as for The Shadow's Lament...you would not believe how depressing it is to try to rewrite something you already wrote but then lost. I'm working on it...
In the meanwhile, I was playing Ocarina of Time (I'm at Ganon by the way; almost done the game, thank Farore) and I'm thinking of writing OoT from Zelda's POV. Yeah, I know; I lack original plot ideas and love POVs way too much. But I am thinking of writing it ALL from Zelda's POV.
Yeah. That includes those mysterious seven years. At the very least, I'd like to know how in Hyrule she found out about those songs.
I might post a little preview of my work so far if anybody requests it, so yeah. I'll just work on my Zelda quietly until it's finished.
Anyways, go on to read the fanfic now or heads will roll!
***
I had hoped that a window seat might be interesting – hopefully, more interesting than any other seat in this classroom. Who knew but something interesting might happen in the view – like an alien abduction, time speeding up, or a psychic showdown between two espers? But like everything else, the view grew ordinary and commonplace in time.
I was bored. Was it any wonder why?
The world was boring.
"Why aren't you getting changed?"
It was Kyon, with his questions again. Sometimes I feel like every time I turn around, Kyon is there with that dumb look on his face, demanding "Why!" Sometimes I felt irritated. But mostly I was – not exactly happy, but pleased that at least someone was interested in what I was doing.
Everyone else already was used to me. Everyone else already took me for granted, and thought I was as boring as ordinary as any other high school girl.
"Because it's hot," I said shortly. I didn't bother to even turn my head to look at him but kept staring out of the window and at the dull scenery, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, I decided to keep talking anyways, more to myself than anyone.
"Who cares. I'll have to change once again once I get to the classroom anyway. I have cleaning duty later anyways, and it's easier to move in these."
"Guess that makes sense." What a boring response.
"What should we have Mikuru-chan wear next?" I asked without any real enthusiasm. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt anything but this melancholic boredom.
"Well, after bunny and maid...the next would be - wait! There's more?" Kyon was always so damned defensive whenever it came to Mikuru. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it had always annoyed me. I could solemnly swear that he had never paid that much attention to me. And why was that? As a member of the SOS Brigade and my subordinate, no less, his first priority by all rights should be the SOS chief, me! The dumb man needs to get his priorities straightened out.
"Kitty ears? Nurse outfit? Or maybe a queen?" I continued. I wondered what Kyon would say to this – hopefully something interesting. Maybe he would grow angry. Maybe he would yell at me. Anything, as long as something would happen. I turned from the window – it wasn't like I would miss anything – so that I could look at his face.
He was staring out of the window, but his eyes were somewhere else – probably thinking something lecherous. Again, I felt irritated. After a moment, he seemed to realize that I was looking at him.
"Dumb face," I commented nonchalantly.
"You're the one who brought up the subject!" Tch. So defensive. I abandoned the pathetic excuse for a conversation and turned to look out of the dumb old window again.
"Seriously...it's so boring..."
***
I hate clean up duty. It is a complete waste of time. While someone is stuck to clean up the blackboard and clean the erasers, who knew what kinds of interesting things she could be missing? I fumed over this as I cleaned the blackboard. Taniguchi was also on clean up duty and bored me even more thoroughly with his trivial chatter. I'd had enough of his yapping in middle school.
"If you don't have anything interesting to say, then just shut up."
His voice just died away after that, like the volume of a radio being turned off. After that, we worked in silence.
***
There was only fresh irritation to season the stale boredom when I reached the classroom door. I could very clearly hear Kyon and Mikuru's voices engaged in what sounded like an interesting conversation.
"Asahina-san, could you let go..."
"Geez. Come on! Just for a bit? Okay? Okay? Pretty please!"
My teeth ground together. Oh, Kyon and Mikuru were having fun, weren't they?
I let the door swing open, planting my free hand on my hip.
"What are you people doing?"
I glared at Kyon and Mikuru in the sudden silence, both of whom frozen by my liquid nitrogen tone. Mikuru whimpered and meekly removed her hand from Kyon's shoulder, retreating quickly. Kyon wasn't cowered at all, but met my challenging eyes with a glare of his own.
"So maids turn you on?" I asked, marching forward.
"What are you talking about?" he asked in a petulant tone. As if he didn't know what I was talking about.
I lifted my sports bag onto the table. "I'm going to get changed," I announced.
"Go ahead."
"I said I'm going to get changed!" I nearly shouted.
"What about it?"
I inhaled in a sudden fury and spun around.
"GET OUT!!!" I yelled. When he showed no signs of moving, I marched forward and grabbed him by his tie and pulled on it hard. Stupid Kyon – let's see just how cheeky he'll be when I pull him like a dog by a leash.
"Oi-"
I hauled him to the door and kicked him out, fuming. I glared at him and his cup of tea one last time before I slammed the door shut in his face.
"Honestly! The nerve of him!" I said angrily as I changed out of the gym clothes. "What kind of decent guy would stay in the same room while a girl is changing?"
Yuki said nothing and turned calmly back to her book. Mikuru whimpered uncertainly. I decided they agreed with me, but I was still fuming as I pulled on the bunny girl uniform.
Mikuru brought me a cup of tea quietly, and then immediately stepped back. She watched me with meek eyes as I changed, looking exactly like a white rabbit quivering as it finds itself trapped by a wolf. I wondered why she was looking that way.
I put the bunny ears on half-heartedly. If you thought about it, they weren't really necessary. They were just about as pointless and useless as the stockings, necktie and cuffs, which I threw back into the bag with an irritable noise.
I walked to the desk and plopped into it like a sack of potatoes. My eyes narrowed as I saw a folder labelled Mikuru on the screen. I viciously clicked the back button. I didn't want to know what Kyon put in there. Heck, I didn't really care either way.
"Mikuru-chan, you can let him back in now."
"Y-yes." She slowly walked to the door and then opened it just a crack. "Please come in..."
Kyon walked back into the room, eyes cautious. He looked rather like he was expecting a bomb to go off at any moment.
"My arms and shoulders feel cool but this outfit doesn't allow much ventilation," I complained. I gulped down my tea, watching Kyon all the while. He had a distant kind of look on his face. He didn't really seem that surprised or affected by the bunny girl outfit. Yet Mikuru's maid outfit always seemed to catch his attention. Just what was it about that maid uniform that made it so "interesting" to Kyon anyways?
"Oh? Was today a costume party?" Koizumi walked in with an apologetic smile on his face. I ignored him and stood up.
"Mikuru-chan," I called. Mikuru made a noise like a scared mouse. I pointed down at the now vacant seat.
"Sit down here," I told her. Mikuru walked forward as though she was walking on splintered glass and then sat down with that same frightened rabbit look on her face. It was a bit annoying, to have her look so scared all the time. I pulled my hands through her long chestnut hair, braiding it.
My hands easily carried out the familiar actions. I had braided my hair often enough before I had cut my hair. I actually kind of missed it, being able to style my hair in different ways. It had always seemed to me a way of controlling my life, of defying the constant monotony of the repeating days. I had hoped that the cycle of my life would be like the cycle of my hair; always changing, never boring, every day with some fresh news to excite me.
Yet here I was, playing doll with Mikuru while the rest of the SOS Brigade engaged in boring, every day hobbies that man created to kill time.
I looked down at Mikuru's freshly braided hair and was dissatisfied. Braids were so common. I pulled it out and after some thought, pulled it into a ponytail. Personally, I had never really liked ponytails. They were so overused; just some differentiation in hairstyle that was quick and easy to do. Even having two ponytails rather than one was much better. I quickly pulled Mikuru's hair into two ponytails, slightly more content.
I caught Kyon watching us before he turned back to the Othello board. Now that I thought about it, wasn't it Kyon who first noticed the pattern of my hair?"
"Do you change your hair style each day because of the aliens?"
"...When did you notice?"
It had been a moment of blank surprise and unexpected happiness. Surprise at someone realizing my motive. Happy that somebody seemed to understand.
I had cut my hair that day.
Why? I can't give you a definite answer. Maybe I just felt like it. Maybe it was a message that a martian sent to my brain. Maybe an esper had taken control of my body and did it for me. Maybe ninjas from the future had chopped it off for their human DNA samples and then erased my memory of it.
Maybe my weekly pattern had started to feel like a trap.
Maybe even the constant change had started feeling as predictable and commonplace as the rotation of the seasons. Maybe it was Kyon's words that had made me realize that. Maybe it had felt like a new start.
All I know is that for a while, life seemed to have some meaning and direction to it.
For the first time since 6th grade, I met somebody who seemed to understand. I formed this club. I found three other people who were willing to join. For a while, I looked forward to each day, and couldn't wait for the next.
I had tried so hard and yet...
The products of my efforts?
Nothing.
The number of mysteries we had found?
None.
How many aliens, time travelers, and espers have we met?
Zero.
The afternoon passed without any of those results changing in the slightest. As I went home later that afternoon, I felt it more than ever.
The world was boring.
***
I wasn't hungry that night. I excused myself from dinner and walked lethargically up the stairs to take a bath. Afterwards, I walked to my room at the same sluggish pace. I fell onto my bed like a rag doll and lay there for a while, staring up at the ceiling.
I didn't want to do my homework. I couldn't be bothered to get outside the house. It was like an eraser had scrubbed out all of my emotions and desires until I had been left like a dull, blank page.
Only one thing had been left.
Melancholy.
It was a thick, frighteningly blank haze that drifted over me and blurred everything. It drugged me into a state of near depression and then I was left alone in it, with no way out.
There was nothing fun in this world.
There was nothing exciting in this world.
There were no interesting people in this world.
Really, it would be better if this world was gone.
***
I've always liked dreams. Unlike life when awake, anything can happen in dreams. And more often than not "anything" DOES happen.
Why, in a dream, you could see the world in the third millennium, when humanoid aliens had taken over and created monumental towers that made the CN tower look like a stick. You could take part in a war that determines whether the earth will spin westward or eastward. In a dream, you might be able to make anything combust by simply wishing it and then watch it rearrange into some ancient coliseum of the gods.
These are the kinds of dreams I like.
Commonplace dreams, in which you simply do every day things, are unacceptable. Dreaming about eating oatmeal, sky diving, winning a million dollars or getting a pet crocodile is, frankly, a waste of a dream.
And lately, I'd been having dreams of the latter kind. It was as deflating as expecting a rocket launcher for Christmas and getting a hair tie.
I really did hope I was going to have a good dream tonight...
I opened my eyes.
For a second, I thought I was awake - it all felt so real. It seemed I was lying on the ground outside of North High.
What on earth was I doing here? I started to get up and I felt my hand brush against something.
Kyon?
There was no doubt about it. Fully dressed in his school clothes and lying asleep next to me was Kyon. Now that I thought about it, I realized that I was also in my school uniform.
This had to be a dream. Didn't it? A minute ago, I had been lying in bed. And now here I was, with Kyon asleep beside me, outside of North High.
Or was it North High?
With a chill, I realized that there was something wrong with the sky. I couldn't see the stars, clouds or the moon. The sky was a solid grey, as unyielding as the floor beneath me.
My heart started to thump louder, more pressingly. My breath started coming in faster and shallower than usual. I realized that I could see no lights on either. No lights on in a city full of houses, stores and streetlamps? That coupled with the complete and utter silence...
It was like I was in some other world or dimension. A deserted one. I was alone.
Except for Kyon.
I shook him lightly.
"Kyon," I called. No response. I shook him a little harder and slapped his face lightly.
"Kyon!" He shifted a little in his sleep, but stayed stubbornly asleep.
"Wake up already!"
This got a little mumble out of him but when his eyelids still didn't open, I got irritated. I grabbed his collar roughly and started shaking him as hard as I could.
"I told you to wake your ass up!" I shouted as I hit his head on the floor. His eyes flew open and he woke with a little gasp. I let go of his neck and he sat up, then looked at me, confused.
"Do you know where we are?" I asked in a low voice. Kyon said nothing, but started to look around.
"I thought I had woken up but then I found myself in this place and you were lying down next to me. What's going on? Why are we at school?"
Kyon didn't answer, but he didn't look very surprised or worried, which was surprising in itself. He seemed very calm.
"Haruhi, are we the only ones here?"
"Yeah. I know I was sleeping in my bed," I muttered, trying to make sense of it all. "So how did I end up here? And the sky looks strange..."
"Have you seen Koizumi?"
Koizumi? What did he have to do with anything?
"No...why'd you mention him?"
"No reason. Just asking."
Kyon got to his feet and I followed suit.
"For now, let's leave the school. We might run into someone somewhere," Kyon said, as if we were leaving school on an ordinary afternoon. Why wasn't he anxious at all?
"You don't seem very surprised."
He didn't answer but kept walking. We walked in silence together until we reached the school entrance. And we suddenly couldn't walk any further. I staggered back a step as I was repelled by some sort of force field.
"What is this?" I reached my hands out and again met that resistance. I pushed against it but found that beyond a certain point, it refused to budge. It was like we were ants inside a gigantic, invisible balloon.
"There doesn't seem to be a way out of the school..."
"Let's try the back entrance." Kyon started to run back into the school grounds. I followed, with a growing sense of anxiety.
The back entrance was blocked by the same invisible barrier.
"It extends all the way around the school premises," Kyon muttered.
"Is there any way we can contact anyone? Let's look for a phone. I didn't bring my cell phone."
I felt a little chill as we entered the dark corridors of the school. It was just so...eerie, here alone. Well, not entirely alone. I impulsively grasped the sleeve of Kyon's jacket, finding a small measure of comfort in the touch.
"If you're scared, you might as well just cling to my arm. Creates more of an atmosphere," Kyon commented.
"Jerk," I retorted. I turned my head away from him but continued holding onto his sleeve anyways.
As we reached the first floor, we tried the lights. I was almost blinded by the sudden light from the ceiling lamps. It was a welcome change from the dark though, and earned a sigh from the both of us.
There was nobody in any of the classrooms. We moved on to the staff room, which was obviously locked. Kyon picked up a nearby fire extinguisher and smashed the window open, making an entrance.
I snatched up the phone and held it up to my ear. It was silent.
"Doesn't seem to work," I said. I tried dialing my home number first, then Kyon's and Yuki's. Still nothing.
"There's no point staying."
"Let's check our classroom first, Kyon. We might be able to figure something out from up there."
As we exited the staff room, I couldn't hold back an involuntary shiver at the dark and empty corridors. My fingers automatically went back to the sleeve of Kyon's jacket. I glared at him, daring him to say anything. He didn't.
I almost ran to the window as soon as Kyon turned on the lights. I touched the glass lightly as I looked beyond it, and at the familiar yet strange world beyond it.
"Kyon...look."
It was like all the colour and light had been drained from the world. Painted in shades of blackness and grays, it looked like a world where the sun would never rise again.
"Where are we...?"
Just looking at it made me feel like all of humanity had died. It made me feel like checking whether I was still alive, whether I was still me. I crossed my arms, grabbing them tightly.
"This gives me the creeps..."
It was just me and Kyon in a world that had ended.
***
With nowhere else to go, we had gone to the club room. It gave me a weird feeling to think that just this afternoon we had been in this same room, but under completely different circumstances. We turned on the radio, without any real hope. Only static came on. I expected as much.
I stared at the dead world outside, as captivated as the most avid art collector would be by the Mona Lisa. The more I looked at it, the more I realized that this was exactly what I wanted.
Hadn't the world been so boring?
Hadn't the world been so completely commonplace?
Hadn't the world been so empty of any interesting people at all?
Hadn't I wished that world would just disappear?
"Want tea?" Kyon offered, breaking the silence.
"Don't want any," I muttered. I had no appetite for tea; my mind was still spinning. My thoughts spilled out of my mind in a chaotic stream that couldn't get out fast enough.
"What's going on? What is this? I don't get it. Where are we? Why am I in this place? And why is it just you and me?"
"Hell if I know," he said from behind me.
I whipped around.
"I'm going to go explore a bit!" I declared and started to rush towards the door, but then spun back to face Kyon, who had just started to get up. "You stay here," I ordered, pointing one finger sternly at him, and then rushed out of the club room without further hesitation.
"I'll be right back!"
I ran down the staircase. No, scratch that. I practically flew down it. My heart was thumping loudly. It was not from fear, but from anticipation. My legs drove me onwards; my steps were backed with a sense of direction.
"What's going on? What is this? I don't get it."
It was a mystery. An adventure, even!
"Where are we? Why am I in this place?"
Not the old world...maybe the end of the old one? Maybe the beginning of a new one!
"And why is it just you and me?"
Just me...
...and Kyon.
I started to smile.
***
The corridors were as dark as ever but they had lost their ability to unnerve me. After all, a good mystery needs an abnormal and unsettling mood to take place in, doesn't it?
But-
-where was the mystery?
I paused by the window that looked down on the courtyard. The grey world stared back blankly, but offered nothing.
I decided that since there was nothing outside, it must be inside. Reasoning that classrooms were too small for something interesting to happen I checked the gymnasium. I ran downstairs, hopeful, but it was the same as everything else: dishearteningly empty.
I was starting to grow impatient. When was something going to happen?
I tried all of the other rooms I could think of: clubrooms, the library, the office, the janitor's room, the computer lab...I even checked the washrooms. Why something interesting would happen in the boy's washroom is beyond me, but it was worth a shot, right?
It happened when I was in the science lab on the top floor.
There was a whooshing noise, like the sound of some gigantic engine being revved up. At the same time, a flood of blue light pooled in through the windows – the first light I had seen from outside. Automatically, I turned towards.
There was a blue shape outside, in the courtyard. It seemed to be the source of the wavering, flickering light. I couldn't make out what it was; it was just a blob of mobile light and
It was growing.
It was like watching putty dough mould itself in fast motion. The blob was growing. A lump seemed to form a head; there were three red spots, of all different sizes it. They looked like scarlet eyes set in the bowed head. It rose on stubby, trunk like legs, which seemed at odds with the thin arms which drooped to its knees.
I stared at it, transfixed.
Kyon!
And suddenly I was dashing for the club room.
A giant! There was a giant outside!
What was it? Which planet did it come from? Who made it? What did it do?
And wouldn't Kyon be so happy!
I all but wrenched the door of the club room open.
"Kyon! Something's here!"
He was already up, his back to the door, his face turned towards the window where the giant could be clearly seen. The mammoth figure had achieved full growth and was as tall as our school – maybe taller!
"What is that? A monster!? It isn't a mirage, right!?"
Possibility after delightful possibility paraded through my mind. I ran up to Kyon, who was still frozen in place, and placed my hands on his shoulder. I gazed up at the blue giant, feeling absolutely giddy. This wasn't a dream, was it? It had to be real!
"Maybe it's an alien! Or the revival of some super weapon developed by an ancient race!"
The giant started to move. It raised one blue hand slowly upwards. An image of it bringing down that hand in a karate chop came to me. Something that size could easily destroy a building! Yes, it had to be some sort of a super weapon. A super warrior, maybe? Elite forces, commander of a mutant army!
Kyon turned around slowly. He didn't seem very excited. Hm. Maybe he was still in shock.
He grabbed my hand and dashed for the door.
"Hey! What are you doing?"
There was a huge noise like a dozen muffled cracks as soon as we made it out of the classroom. The room and corridor shook. Kyon suddenly pulled us down. I gasped and staggered, and brought myself to a stop by throwing my free hand against Kyon's shoulder. We crouched there as the entire building shuddered from the force of the giant's blow.
The club room was fine; pristine, even. The giant had destroyed the classroom on the other side of the school.
Had Kyon been worried about it attacking...us?
"Say, do you think it'll attack us?" No that was ridiculous. "I don't think it's anything evil."
Maybe it was like me. The world was so unchanging, so constant, so drab, one couldn't help but feel fed up with it. One might just start smashing the nearest thing, just so something might happen!
I could sympathize completely with it.
Kyon did not seem convinced.
"Dunno," he said briefly before getting up. He had not let go of my hand all this time. It was starting to get slippery with our sweat. His hand tightened its grip as he pulled me up and started pulling me towards the staircase. All the while, the giant continued to wreck havoc on the other side of the building.
Kyon must be trying to get us closer to the giant. Who could settle for a side view when we could have a front row seat!
When he steered us not into the courtyard, but outside the school building and away from the giant, I was a bit confused. What was Kyon doing? Didn't he want to get a closer view?
"What is all this, seriously?" I asked him as we ran. The giant had already destroyed half the schoo, building. It was magnificent. "This weird world...and that giant..."
I was happy. Utterly, palpably happy.
"Don't you want to go back to our old world?"
Kyon threw the question at me as we ran down the stairs. It took me aback. The question was unexpected. It was like finding a flaw on a sculpture that you had thought the most wonderful in the world.
Go back to our old world?
Why would I want to do that?
Did...Kyon want to go back?
I didn't know how to answer.
"We can't stay in this place for the rest of our lives. Doesn't look like there's a place to eat when we get hungry."
Why was he thinking of such mundane things at a time like this?
"It's kind of strange...but I get the feeling it'll work itself out. For some reason, I just feel very happy."
"What about the SOS Brigade? It's the club you made. You're just going to ditch it."
"That doesn't matter anymore. After all, I'm having this really fun experience right now. There's no need to go look for anything mysterious anymore!"
"I want to go back."
I was in shock. I let myself be pulled forward limply across the school field, trying to understand.
Another giant started to form. And another.
"I found out something after being thrown into this situation."
I listened without saying anything. I waited for Kyon to explain.
"I may complain all the time but I actually liked how my life was. Including that idiot Taniguchi and Kunikida, Koizumi, Nagato, and Asahina-san, and even the long-vanished Asakura."
Each sentence was like a jolt to my already numb conscience.
"What are you talking about..." I muttered, desperate to comprehend just what Kyon was getting at.
"I want to see those friends again. I feel like I still have so many things to tell them."
It was the people that he missed. I felt relieved.
"I'm sure we'll see them. This world won't be covered in darkness forever. The sun will rise tomorrow. I can tell."
"That's not what I mean. I don't mean in this world. I want to see the old them in the old world!"
It couldn't be.
No!
I planted my heel on the ground, grinding me to a stop and pulled my hand out of his grasp. I panted heavily, out of breath from our frantic running. I heard Kyon also come slowly to a stop, not wanting to escape without me.
Escape. So that was what he wanted to do...
I looked up, still breathing heavily. I clenched my hands into fists and shook my head slowly.
"I don't get it."
We stood several metres apart, both of us still gasping. Kyon still had one hand out, as if waiting for me to grab hold of it again. When I didn't move, he slowly brought it down. He was staring at me with a desperate look on his face, like he was trying to tell me something vitally important.
"Weren't you fed up with that boring world!?"
I didn't understand.
He didn't understand.
"Didn't you want something more interesting to happen!?"
Behind me, the giant wrecked havoc on the school with more intensity than ever, like a physical manifestation of my frustration.
"I did indeed."
I looked up, hopeful. Kyon was walking towards me slowly, as if weighting each step, until he was directly in front of me. He placed his hands on both of my shoulders. Almost unwillingly, I looked up to look into his face. He looked back seriously, his eyes intent.
For some reason, I felt like shying away from the contact. I stayed as I was, refusing to lose ground.
"You know, Haruhi, I've been through some really interesting experiences these past few days. You probably don't know anything, but you could say that the world is revolving around you. You just didn't know but the world was definitely moving in an interesting direction."
I looked down. I didn't know what to say.
There was another shattering noise as the giants destroyed more of the school grounds– closer this time. I turned away, shaking his hands off my shoulders in the same movement. One of the giants had broken through the school grounds and was now coming onto the track field. Towards us.
More and more of them were appearing now. The unease that Kyon's words had caused was drowned and forgotten at the sight. I didn't know what they were, but they were amazing. Magnificent. Majestic.
I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so happy.
I don't know how long it was when Kyon put his hands on my shoulders again. He turned me around to face him. His face was set, like he had just decided to do something. I expected him to start yet another round of trying to persuade me to go back to our old world.
"What is it?" I scowled.
"Actually, ponytails turn me on."
"What?"
"That ponytail you had back whenever looked so good it was criminal."
I had to be mishearing things. Or hallucinating.
This was just like a clichéd scene out of a romance. It was exactly the kind of corny thing that a guy who has no taste would say right before he asked a girl out. Absolutely pathetic.
So why was my stupid heart beating so fast?
"Are you retarded?"
Please, please, be offended. Start yelling at me or something, get embarrassed, just, let go, back off...
Kyon leaned forward.
This absolutely could not be happening.
He pulled me forward and kissed me.
I should slap him. I really, really should. What the hell was wrong with him? Pulling a move like that – with such a cheesy opening line! By all rights, I should've beaten the living crap out of him.
I felt the hands on my shoulders bring me tighter, but I didn't resist. I held still, my face uplifted, not daring to move. For the first time, I felt a breeze in this dark world.
Out of the corner of my eye, it seemed like the world around us was melting away. The wrecked grounds and buildings disintegrated. The blue giants seemed to lose their form and it was like all the light inside them escaped. The dark world was suddenly lighted by brilliant blue.
It was like I saw it, but not quite. It was like I felt it, but not exactly.
I knew that this world was starting to disappear.
The breeze was more of a gust now, and it was like it was spinning around the two of us, the only two beings left in that gray world. I felt it toss my hair, my skirt flap in the breeze. I felt the warmth of the hands on my shoulders.
I closed my eyes
and opened them to find myself staring at the ceiling of my room.
I sat bolt upright in my bed. My stomach felt like it was tying itself into knots.
It was a dream.
A dream.
More like a NIGHTMARE!
I fell back onto my bed, buried my head into my pillows and started screaming.
***
I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. In fact, I was scared to. If I had let myself fall asleep, I might have had another dream about-well-that.
I moaned when the sun came up the next morning. Just go away, won't you! I got up sluggishly, barely able to keep my eyes open, which felt five times heavier than usual.
Halfway through dressing for school, I remembered that I would have to see Kyon today.
I threw my shirt across the room.
I would not see that idiot today! Absolutely not! I refused to!
If Kyon had any idea about this dream, he would laugh. He would laugh and laugh and laugh and I would never hear the end of it. Ever. I couldn't let a low subordinate like him disrespect the director!
I sat on my bed, scowling at my sailor uniform. I absolutely refused to see him today. Not after that dream. Gah – I wish I had never dreamed it. It was exactly the pathetic dream that a lovesick girl would have. And I was anything but in love. Especially not with Kyon! And since I am obviously not in love, it wouldn't bring any kind of a reaction out of me at all.
Although...wasn't by not going to school a reaction in itself? As if I was ashamed of having such a dream and couldn't look at him in the eye for it!
There is no way in hell that is ever happening!
I mechanically picked up my sailor uniform and pulled it over my head. Stupid Kyon...it wasn't like the dream mattered to me either way.
I picked up my school bag and yawned, running a hand through my shoulder length hair. It hung straight down, like any other day. It was a bit boring, actually. Especially after playing with Mikuru's hair yesterday, I really felt like doing something with it.
I didn't feel like braids. Or buns. Or plaits, or any of those hairstyles. I found a hair band and slowly picked it up.
"Actually..."
If you thought about it, there really was only one thing to do with my hair. I guess I would tie it into a
"...ponytails turn me on."
"This is by no way affected by that dream," I told my reflection sternly. "I just felt like a ponytail today. No other influences or reasons. Simple as that."
***
I sat in my seat, feeling conspicuously different. I stared determinedly out of the window. It was exactly the same as yesterday. Boring.
But then again, it might not stay that way, right? Who knows but something interesting might happen in time?
In the mean while, I'll wait.
I heard somebody walk in and my heart jumped at it. I turned just enough to see that it wasn't Kyon and then turned back to stare out the window, feeling guilty.
Kyon generally doesn't come this early anyways. I should've known better.
And what was I doing, leaping every time somebody so much as moved?! It wasn't like I was especially eager to see Kyon today! If anything, it was the opposite!
I scowled deeper.
I didn't so much as budge from then on.
Five minutes before the morning bell would ring, I heard somebody enter and then stop. I refused to turn around. After a while, the footsteps resumed. Finally, I heard it.
"Yo," Kyon said casually as he reached his desk. "How you doing?"
"I feel miserable. I had a nightmare last night," I replied, equally casual. "I ended up not getting any sleep. I've never wanted to skip school as badly as I do today."
There was a faint "flump" as he sat down on his chair.
"Oh, really?"
I didn't answer. After a moment, I saw him lean a little bit forward. My heart thumped loudly, but I didn't react.
"Haruhi."
"What?"
"You look great in that ponytail."
//the end//
So, what'd you think of Haruhi's mind? Crazy, you say? Absolutely raving, you say? Yeah, I thought so.
Thanks for reading and please review!
~ DaScribbler