Author's Note: THE scene wouldn't let go of me. So I wrote this. Set shortly after 3x09.


Louder than Words

It had been like... He searched for an adjective, a verb, anything to describe the sensations appropriately, but he couldn't come up with a single one. His mind had been blown blank as if hit by a hurricane. He had no possibility of comparing it to any kiss he'd ever had, for they had all been planned. He hadn't been able to prepare himself for this one at all. As soon as the thought of her planning to kiss him had registered, her mouth had been on his.

All his first kisses before had always been planned. A date with a beautiful woman. A dinner, or the cinema or someplace else that was crowded with people. Enough time to check the other one out. See if she licks her lips a lot. That would mean that she's probably a wet kisser. Or if she uses creme or lip balm, she'll probably taste like artificial cherry or maybe even strawberry. Eww! Can she keep her hands still for longer than ten seconds? Then she won't fumble at him right away. If she's shy, no tongue at the beginning. If she's not, all the better.

But this time... Not a single thought had occupied his mind, everything had vanished the moment their lips had made contact. But that was just her all over. She managed to leave him dumbstruck ever so often. Like she'd done it only a few days earlier, when she'd suddenly stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, sending his mind spinning like a needle of a compass at the South Pole. But that was nothing compared to what she'd done to him under that mistletoe. He hadn't even realised how that gum had ended up in his mouth as he was too focused on actually grasping what was happening. And trying that with a recently fried brain did prove pretty tough after all.

And when he'd opened his eyes, she was still so close, close enough for him to stare directly into her eyes; blue, with a tinge of green, like the story sea that claims lives; eyes like galaxies, sparkling stars alight with suppressed joy and laughter.

And the smell... She smelled clean, cleaner than everything else he'd ever smelled before, almost... pure. She'd smelled of soap, of detergent and fabric conditioner, of shampoo, with just enough mango for him to notice.

He was trapped, fascinated, enthralled, truly and utterly hypnotised by her surrounding him; her smell in his nose, her taste still lingering on his lips, her touch still burning his skin through several layers of clothing where she'd pulled him closer, the look in her eyes conveying a wide range of emotions. There was joy, pure happiness, confusion, pride, accomplishment and just a tiny hint of longing, so small he would have surely missed it had be not been this enraptured.

It was the same longing that had started haunting him the moment she'd turned back to Caroline, the same longing that now refused to let go of him. He knew his hopes were against all reason, but he found himself replaying the scene over and over in his head, desperately wanting to do it again. And again.

His contemplations came to an abrupt, almost screeching halt when he heard her approach. He had been waiting in her office for nearly an hour now, but this was the only place he could be alone with her. If that was a good thing he could not say yet.

He thought he saw her hesitate a split second when she spotted him, but she didn't miss a step, as if it had never happened.
But looking at her closely, observing the way her eyes moved quickly from one random point to another, seeing her tongue dart out to wet her lips ever so often which were then dragged between her teeth to be bitten just hard enough to cause slight pain, sensing the tension in her every move, he knew that what he'd dreaded had become true.

He got up from the sofa he'd occupied for the last hour and took three steps into her direction, the last one causing him to end up only five inches in front of her. He looked directly into her eyes, communicating silently, telling her to ease.

He knew what would have to be done; knew that this was the only way they could go on.

"So... Let's talk", he said, with a soft look upon his face.

FIN