The Ones We Want

Au: At the end of The Crush and the Crossbow, when Zoe is crying in front of the Television, Lavon is not the one who finds her. For the purposes of this story, Tansy and Wade had the "you used to drive me crazy too" conversation after she caught up with him that night, before Wade got home, not the next morning like in the show. Also, I know that the title is from the dialogue in the episode, and that I do not use it. I may use it later; I do not know, but I just felt like it was a good title.

Chapter One

Tansy was wrong. One hundred and ten percent truly and completely wrong. He most certainly was not interested in Zoe Hart. Who could possibly see them together, see how they argued, and think that? Was Tansy nuts? Sure, she knew him better than most but if the events of the past few days proved anything it was that Tansy was not good at reading what Wade was feeling or who he was feeling it for. She had thought he had wanted to get back together, and he hadn't. She had thought he was in love with her and he wasn't. Now she thought that he had feelings for Zoe Hart, and he certainly didn't.

When he got home, he just wanted to grab a brew and relax on his front porch, but he couldn't. He was out. Maybe Lavon had some, he thought before heading for the main house.

The lights were out but that wasn't so strange. What was strange was the noise coming from the living room. It was not the television, which was actually on a pretty low volume, but the faint sound of sniffling. Wade pushed the door back to see Zoe Hart curled up in a pathetic ball on the couch. She was watching some old black and white movie. Her hair was up in a bun, and she looked like a mess. He saw the tears staining her cheeks and heard her sniffle again. For some reason, it got to him, seeing her like that. Zoe Hart was a lot of things, annoying, arrogant, superior, selfish, oblivious, and multiple others, but if there was one thing she was not, it was pathetic.

"Hiya doc." He said quietly, trying not to startle her. She looked over at him, and he melted. Those big doe eyes of hers were swimming with tears, and he couldn't take it. He started towards her while she swiped at her face, clearly embarrassed that he was seeing her like this. He didn't care. She needed someone, and as luck would have it, tonight, that someone was him.

She hadn't heard him come in. She had been caught up in the movie. Okay, that was a lie. She hadn't been caught up, at least, not in that. She kept thinking about George. It had been so easy with him tonight; it had felt so right, like that was where she was always meant to be. And then in her office, that moment, she knew she wasn't imagining it. That was real, she was sure of it. They had had a real moment. The way he had been looking at her, even if he did have pain medication flowing through his system, was real. He had felt it. In fact, she was pretty sure that if Lemon hadn't come in … no, she thought, George would never do that. He was too good of a guy to kiss one girl when he was engaged to another. In fact, he was probably the best, most moral guy she had ever met. Just her luck.

Wade was giving her a strange kind of look, and it only took her two seconds to realize what it was: pity. She was being pitied by Wade Kinsella. She had seen him look at her with humor, condescension, amusement, lust, anger, annoyance, and even a few looks she could never really identify, but not pity. She had never been pitied by him and she sure as hell was not going to start now.

She tried her hardest to gather herself. She still felt numb; moving from her current position seemed impossible to even comprehend, let alone do. She swatted at her face, hoping he had not seen all the tears that had been about to fall. Then, she tried to get up. He sat on the seat across from her, still giving her that look, though now, it was mixed with something else. It was one of the looks she could never place. But there was still pity.

"I'm fine." She said, giving up on trying to get her weak, limp, defeated body to move.

"I didn't ask." He returned. His tone was casual, but kind. It was so … un-Wade.

"It's just a sad movie." She lied. She could tell he didn't believe her, but he didn't push her either.

"What's it about?" he asked. She could see he was trying to act interested, even though he couldn't care less. She hated this; why was he acting this way? The nicer he was, the more she felt like a charity case. Wade had never coddled her before. Her first day here she had been defeated and drunk, and he had teased her and then taken advantage of her. If even Wade was being nice to her, she must be really pathetic. She didn't say that though, she just answered his question.

"Just some dumb love stuff." He nodded like he understood. He didn't, she knew. Wade knew nothing about love. He was a lust guy, plain and simple. Sometimes, like tonight, she wished she could be like that, but she just wasn't. "You know, true love, happily ever after, the sort of thing that never happens in real life." she felt herself start to get choked up again. No. She wouldn't cry. Not now. Not with him. Apparently, her tear ducts weren't listening. She started going like freaking Niagara Falls, and she was sure she looked gross. Wade knitted his eyebrows, and for a second he looked like he wanted to run, but then he came over to her and took her in his arms, blanket and all.

"Shhhh." He whispered soothingly, "It's okay." This was weird, really weird. It was so different than the Wade she had grown used to. She had to admit, it felt nice though, having him holding her. And he smelled amazing, all musky and warm. She had not smelt that smell in a long time. In fact, she realized, she had not been held in a long time. The last time she had so much as kissed a guy was at the parade with Wade, and that had barely even been a kiss because she had pushed him away so fast. She felt so empty, so unwanted. And Wade was being so nice to her. Before she realized what she was doing, she was kissing him.

He didn't know how it had happened. He had just wanted to comfort her; for the first time in his life, when he was holding a girl, it was not because he was trying to make a move. He really had not expected her to … it came out of nowhere. He had been holding her, shushing her, telling her it would be okay, and then, suddenly, she kissed him. He was completely caught off guard, frozen. He hadn't kissed her since the parade, and that barely counted because, let's face it, she hadn't really kissed him back. So you could say that the only time she had kissed him was that night in his car. He had never forgotten it, what it had felt like. When that had happened, he had responded right away, without hesitation, so why wasn't he responding now. Why was he so frozen? Was it just because she had caught him off guard? Did it have anything to do with what Tansy said? Why was he analyzing everything with a long monologue in his head when there was a beautiful, sexy girl kissing him of the couch?

Zoe pulled away, looking at him, her eyes suddenly wide. He could see how embarrassed she was. More than embarrassed, she was completely mortified. He remembered how sluggish she had been when he came in, but whatever had caused that seemed to be out of her system because she shot up like a cannonball being fired and ran out of the house. It took him a second, but once his head caught up to the present, he shot up after her. She was one the dirt road outside the plantation. She looked kind of lost, like she wanted to run home but couldn't remember where home was. She heard the door and turned to him, looking like a started animal. He half expected her to twitch her nose and hop off into the woods. She didn't though. She didn't move. Slowly, he approached her.

"Listen, I'm sorry, I don't know what that was in there, you were just being so nice and you smelled," she blushed, then shook her head. He kind of wanted to know how that sentence was going to end, but kind of felt like he didn't have to, "I've just had a really bad day, and then you came in and held me, and I don't know what I was thinking, but I should never have done that, just leaned in and freaked you out like that," Freaked him out? Was she insane? Surprised him? Sure. Confused him? Maybe. But freaked him out? Never. Did she actually think his lack of response was due to anything other than shock? She couldn't really believe that he didn't want her. She was still rambling like a maniac, but she did that a lot, and he was kind of used to it by now, "appreciate what you were doing, and then I just ruined it by-" he cut her off, crashing his lips to hers. She seemed surprised at first, but she did not take as long to respond as he had. When he pulled back, he looked at her, those gorgeous eyes of hers, and said, "Doc, shut up." She smirked for a second, but then it changed into a smile, a shy smile. No, not shy, coy. She bit her lip in that insanely sexy way that made his pants tight every time she did it, and he could tell she was trying to make a decision. He found him self surprisingly to be genuinely scared of what her decision might be. But then he saw the look in her eye, and he knew her decision was made. She took his mouth and teased it until he was dizzy with desire. He picked her up superman style, never detaching his lips from hers and headed over to his place. He knew her, and whatever this new sexual braveness was, she still would never do anything on Lavon's front lawn, which meant he needed a bed and fast because he was about to burst.

In what felt like no time at all, they were in the gatehouse, and he had her pinned against the wall. Her hair had been up, but now it was cascading down her shoulders and tickling his chest, which he realized he kind of liked. He had taken her shirt off and he could see her bra. She had clearly not been planning to have sex tonight, because there was no lace or frills. It wasn't even black, just a plain white bra. Somehow though, on her, it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. Though it would be even sexier off her. And Tansy said she'd never go for him, he thought smirking. Shows what she knew. Wait, no, she hadn't said go for, she said end up with. One night, sure, but end up with? Never. But who was she to say that, to know that. She probably wouldn't think that he would even get this far. Hell, he hadn't thought he would get this far with the way Zoe had been with him. She had been so stubborn.

A small part of him, the part that was thinking about what Tansy had said, was wondering what had changed, but most of him was just focusing on her and how beautiful she looked. He didn't usually think of girls like that. Usually, he thought of them as sexy, which she most definitely was right now, but more than that, she looked beautiful. He thought about that coy smile she had given him; that had been beautiful. Smile? He asked himself, you have her half naked in front of you and you're thinking of her smile? It was a little strange, but it had just been so beautiful, and so … Zoe. And Zoe was as beautiful and as sexy as they came. She was Zoe for god's sake! She was beautiful. She was perfect. Perfect? Really? He tried to shake it, shake the feeling that tonight was going to mean more than any other night with any other woman, or women for that matter, because he had done that. He tried to shake the feeling that this was something special, and real, and that he would never forget it for the rest of his life. He tried to tell himself that this was just sex, that he hadn't been waiting desperately for this moment for months. He tried to convince himself that this was not the beginning of something, and that the elation he was feeling was just hormones and adrenaline and nothing else. And he was nervous. What was that about? Since when was he nervous? Because it's Zoe. He tried not to think it, not to acknowledge it, but he couldn't. It was in his head now, and he could feel it. With every move she made, every kiss, he felt more alive then he had his entire life. And it was all because of Zoe. Beautiful, smart, sexy, annoying, frustrating, stubborn, funny, rigid, prudish, brilliant, perfect, infuriating, frustrating, aneurysm causing, power steeling, dirty-look giving, condescending, stuck-up, gorgeous, amazing, Zoe.

Somehow they had gotten on the bed, and though the pants were still on, everything from the waist up was off for both of them. He took her in. She was amazing, perfect, and beautiful. Zoe Hart lay topless in front of him and he had never seen a more amazing sight. His heart stopped. But then it started again, and the blood was pumping, and he was kissing her. He kissed her mouth, her shoulder, everywhere he could find, and all the while she was driving him crazy with the things she was doing to him. Her breathing was heavy and he knew he must have been affecting her as much as she was him. She moaned, and he teased, and she teased and he moaned, and it all just felt so right.

"Zoe!" he called out, feeling everything building, his desire, everything, he kissed her, and she teased him, and he called out again, "God, Zoe!"

Then she opened her mouth to call something out as well, "George!" he stopped. He stopped kissing her, stopped touching her, stopped everything. He jumped back from her like she had a plague that he was afraid to catch. He felt sick inside, like he had been doing something vile and depraved just now.

George. He thought, the name making him feel even sicker as he thought it. It wasn't a surprised really. He knew she had a thing for Golden Boy. Sure, except Lemon, most of the town was oblivious to it, but he knew. He'd known for a while. There had been so many impossible to miss signs. Like that day building the float for the parade; that had been when he had first seen it, first realized. She had been banging her hand against her head, and then she had spotted George looking over. She had gotten all embarrassed and started fixing her hair. She had smiled at him, and there had been this look in her eye. He knew that look; he had seen it a million times on girls at bars. (Not the ones he picked up of course, the ones who were there with somebody). Then there had been after Dr. Breeland and her had saved that guys arm and he had taken all the credit. Wade didn't know the whole story, but he did know that George had something to do with what happened. He also knew that a large part of the reason Zoe had kept her mouth shut was to protect George. Protect him from what, she had no clue, but that didn't really matter. And then there had been tonight, when she and George had been alone together at her house after midnight. Then he realized, that's what this was all about. That's why she had been crying. Something had happened with her and George tonight, something big, and that's why she had been such a mess. Wade felt like an idiot. Worse than that, he felt dirty, and violated, like he had been partaking in something truly repulsive and deplorable.

He looked at her. Her eyes had been closed before, no doubt picturing it was Golden Boy, but now they were open. She was looking up at him confused. Did she not realize what she had said? Wade found himself becoming furious, with her, with himself, with that stupid bra she had been wearing and that stupid black and white movie she had been watching. He took a deep breath to calm himself down.

She didn't know what had happened, at least, not at first. She had not meant to say it, not even realized she had said it, but it had just slipped out. Now, she was looking at Wade. She couldn't read him. He was looking at her like she had boils all up and down her body and the skin on her face was melting off. She waited for him to calm down, to come back, but he didn't.

It was weird. Sure, his pride might be hurt a little, but it was Wade. It could not be the first time a girl had used him to forget about someone else, or picture he was that someone else, or whatever she had been doing. She wasn't sure really. A part of it was Wade, and how good he had smelt, and how nice he was being, but then suddenly she was thinking about George, and what it would be like to have him kissing her like that. It was something she knew would never, could never happen, but the thought wouldn't go away, and so she had given into it. And it had been nice, until Wade had pulled away. The way he was looking at her made her feel like some kind of whore in puritan times, and she didn't like it. She wanted him to come back. Wasn't this what he did, cheap sex to make girls feel better and then don't call him in the morning? She had seen him do it a dozen times, so why was she the girl who got the stink eye? She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, he turned from her. She noticed his back was tensed, "Get out." His voice was quiet, but gravelly, rough, angry even.

"What?" It was all she could think to say. Honestly, her brain was a couple of hours behind what was happening right now.

He turned to her. There was a look in his eye she had never seen before, and it scared her, "I said, get out." This time it was louder, and angrier. Zoe did not like to be ordered around, which was clearly what he was doing, but she had also never seen him like this, and it made her want out of his line of fire as soon as possible. Quickly, she got up and started looking for her bra, "Are you deaf?" he asked. He seemed to be struggling, like each word was a strain, and he was getting angrier, and scarier, by the minute, "I said-"

"I heard you, but incase you didn't notice I'm kind of topless." She said, her antagonistic nature overriding her self-preservation instinct.

He threw her top at her, which she caught and put on. She saw her bra and grabbed it quickly but she didn't see any reason to waste time putting it on when she was already covered in that area, or at least enough to walk back to her place.

She headed for the door, and then turned. She didn't know what to say, but she felt like she should say something, or had to say something, "Wade-"

"Out."

Author's Note: PLEASE, PLEASE, Please don't hate me. This idea came, and then it wouldn't leave me alone, but the story is NOT OVER YET. I hope you don't hate Zoe either, but I know that happens even with show Zoe, so my Zoe is probably not safe. I am anxious to know what you think though, even if it is bad. Also, does anybody know what movie Zoe was watching in that episode? Just curious. Please review, and don't hate me. Have a good day.