Disclaimer: All these characters (except for Himizu, Ryouko, and Kitsune, no da…) belong to YYH and not to us, blah, blah, blah, etc., etc., etc… Also, this was the first and last fic Himizu wrote without her co-authors due to cruel torture and an EXTREMELY well planned homicide, which succeeded. Not many clues were found at the scene, but it seems the various weapons were a katana, stick, some kitchen knives, and a very mysterious algebra book, which (as police conclude) was used to finish the job. So tragic, so very tragic, ne? Who would have done such a thing?
Credits: Written, as mentioned above, by Himizu.
Typed, edited, and somewhat written by Ryouko.
Description and Rating: When Kurama enters the fic room, he notices that things are a little out of the ordinary. Check that, everyone is acting almost exactly the opposite of the way they normally act! What's going on? We rate this PG, for some graphic violence and a little language.
Entering The Fic Room
Kurama was in a good mood that morning. Nothing could go wrong on such a fine day. But all this changed when he walked into the fic room. The sight that met his eyes was too weird to be real. The first thing he saw was that Kuwabara was TALKING to Hiei. They talked most of the time, but Kuwabara always tried to kill Hiei afterwards. Kurama well remembered their first meeting, which has resulted in Kuwabara falling flat on his face… twice. Now, however, both of them were sitting in wooden chairs, speaking to one another as best friends would. Kuwabara actually slapped Hiei on the back as he let out his famous laugh.
"You're a card Hiei!" he brayed. To Kurama's shock, Hiei was also laughing hysterically, QUITE AT EASE despite Kuwabara's hand on his back. Even Kurama, despite being his best friend, had rarely taken such a liberty. Hiei was not the type to accept such familiar gestures. Just then Himizu walked in, sliding past Kurama who was still standing dumbly in the doorway. Now Kurama's mouth dropped open. Himizu looked straight at Hiei and, instead of making a sadistic comment and slipping out of his reach to trade insults with the little fire demon, she SMILED CHEERFULLY and merely said "hi." Now she turned and said "hi" TO KUWABARA! Now Kurama was even more confused. Himizu hated Kuwabara with as much emotion as she adored hockey. But here she sat, actually having a conversation with him.
"Hello everyone! Hello wonderful best friend Himizu!" Kitsune had arrived. Kurama braced himself, preparing to be suffocated by one of Kitsune's over-enthusiastic hugs. But to his bemusement, she walked right past him without acknowledging him. Then he took a good look at her and his green eyes widened in horror. She was wearing an I-LOVE-HOCKEY t-shirt. This was horrifying because she disliked hockey as much as Himizu loved it. Kitsune, complete with starry eyes, proudly displayed her shirt. "Isn't it beautiful? It's the coolest shirt ever!"
Himizu shrugged in a bored way. "It's…um… …ok, I guess." Kurama's emerald green eyes widened in further horror and shock. Himizu not caring about a hockey t-shirt? Was it possible?
"Hello all my wonderful friends!" Ryouko walked in with a huge smile pasted on her face. Hiei, Kurama noticed, was intensely watching her. Suddenly Ryouko spotted Hiei. Her eyes lit up.
"HIEI-CHAN!" Ryouko screamed shrilly. It was so loud it rattled the windows. The she flew forward and threw her arms around the fire youkai; performing an excellent imitation of a famous Kitsune strangle-Kurama-to-death hugs. Hiei's face turned the most peculiar shade of blue and red. However there was a look of happiness in his eyes.
As Hiei and Ryouko greeted each other, Yusuke strolled in. Kurama did a double take. Was Yusuke wearing… ...GLASSES? And what was that under his arm? It was………(gasp) a TEXTBOOK! And he had a test with an A+ on it. Yusuke, instead of being jubilant, looked bored.
Yusuke sighed wearily. "Another boring A+. School is no challenge. Personally, I can't understand why some people do so badly, like that idiot Keiko." Yusuke was calling Keiko an idiot! Was that possible! She was much smarter than Yusuke. But here she came in, not even wearing the school uniform, carrying a videotape and wearing the smuggest smile a person could wear. Yusuke glared at her.
"Well, at least you were responsible enough to show up on time for once. Did you even bother doing your homework last night?" he asked scornfully.
"Nope," Keiko yawned. "Didn't go to school today either. Knew I'd just get yelled at. I was too tired anyways."
Yusuke looked disgusted by her careless ways. "And why, pray, were you so exhausted?"
Keiko's grin widened and she patted her tape fondly. "That, my friends, is not for me to tell you. However, my tape can tell you not only what I did, but also what two of our members did last night."
"Do we give?" Hiei grumbled.
"You certainly will," Keiko said as she popped the tape into the VCR.
The screen lit up, showing Hiei and Ryouko in a dark corner of a restaurant. Candles were lit and food lay in front of them. They, however, seemed very uninterested in their meals. They were to busy gazing into each other's eyes. The live Ryouko turned pink and Hiei's hair fluffed angrily.
The scene changed to show Hiei and Ryouko strolling along the beach, watching the sunset. Ryouko's arm was around Hiei's shoulders and Hiei's arm encircled her waist. They seemed lost in each other's company. Ryouko had now turned a more reddish color and Hiei's skin was becoming greener by the second. The bandages on his right arm were smoking slightly. Keiko seemed unaware, however, as she gestured for them to be quiet.
"Shhhh. This is the best part!" she said excitedly.
The scene now showed Hiei and Ryouko sitting on some grass. They were holding hands and were sitting VERY close. The sun had set and a beautiful full moon had risen. Hiei and Ryouko turned towards each other. Then, to Kurama's shock, Hiei leaned closer and kissed Ryouko on the lips. She drew back, her blushing face clearly evident even in the moonlight. Hiei said something to her, causing her to grin sheepishly. Hiei's free hand was slowly snaking towards her. He said something else to her and she replied. Then his arm was around and her free arm was around him and they were kissing. They stayed in this position for at least a minute. Then both stood up and walked off down the beach. Then Keiko pressed the stop button. She turned grinning to the rest of them. Ryouko's face resembled a ripe tomato and Hiei was rapidly transforming into his demon form.
"Wasn't that, ummm, funny?" Keiko kept the grin, but her laughing brown eyes had met Hiei's vengeful red eyes and she was becoming nervous.
"Hilarious," Hiei's voice was like flint striking a rock. Keiko gulped.
Yusuke stared at them. Then he turned to Ryouko.
"You and Hiei kissed!"
Ryouko flushed horribly and fled the room. Himizu hurried after her to comfort her. A few minutes later, Himizu was back.
"Karasu's here."
"KARASU-CHAN!YAHOO!" Kitsune raced out of the room and down the hall.
"He's with Ryouko in the front hall," Himizu called after her.
Kitsune did a smart about-face and went running up the hallway with an expression of rapturous delight on her face.
"Karasuuuuuu!" Her voice faded as she ran off.
"Well then," said Kuwabara after a pause.
"What, you're not used to it by now?" asked Himizu, as she calmly pushed Hiei into a seat. Then she reached over and pushed Eject on the VCR. She took the tape and turned to Hiei.
"Do you want this?"
"Sure. That WAS a night to remember." His eyes glazed over as he allowed himself to drift back to that pleasant evening.
Ryouko walked in, seating herself beside Hiei and shooting a look of pure venom at Keiko. Kitsune and Karasu strolled in moments later. Kitsune was clinging determinedly to Karasu's arm. But Karasu seemed different, Kurama realized as he edged away from his adversary. For one thing, his long black hair has been cut short and he no longer wore that freaky mask. He didn't look like a crow anymore. For another thing, he was showing interest in Kitsune. Did this mean that he was finally…straight? Did this mean that Kurama could finally rest peacefully without being terrified of Karasu and his bombs? That would be a relief! As he walked past, Karasu cast a withering glance at Kurama, puzzling him even further. Himizu cleared her throat.
"Okay people, we're all here, let's get busy."
"Botan and Yukina aren't here," Yusuke exclaimed.
"Botan won't be here. She's too busy with her Grim Reaper job. It's kind of a relief too, she's so creepy with that scythe and all her talk about death and doom and destruction. You're right though, where is Yukina?" Himizu wondered.
"Right here." And Yukina strode in wearing a lumberjack outfit, with a rifle over her shoulder, and swinging a dead squirrel by the tail.
"Ugh! Yukina-chan, get rid of that thing!" squealed Ryouko.
"Get rid of it! That's cool!" cried Kitsune.
Himizu averted her face. "Please Yukina. If we've told you once, we've told you a thousand times not to bring those dead animals into the fic room. Now please take it out."
Yukina scowled, but turned to comply. Himizu now turned to Kurama. Her burning gaze startled him, but perhaps that was merely because it was the first time anyone had really looked at him.
"Well Kurama, are you going to come in or not. You know, you haven't said a word since you arrived. Has the Great Youko Kurama finally become tame? Mmfff!"
"Himizu, be quiet! I won't have you get hurt again!" cried Kuwabara, who had clasped his hand over her mouth. "Do you really want him to do it again?"
"Do what again?" Kurama asked bewildered.
"As if you didn't know!" exclaimed Himizu, snuggling close to Kuwabara, shooting a venomous glare at Kurama.
Things were about to get ugly when Yukina scampered in. Her eyes wore a horrified look. But when they found Kurama, they widened even more, if that were possible.
"Holy crap!"
"What's wrong Yukina-chan?" asked Ryouko.
"How the hell did you get in here so fast?"
"What do you mean how did he get here so fast? He was one of the first here!" Himizu looked puzzled.
"He's outside now, tearing up everything in his path, as usual. So what is he doing in…" A door was heard slamming, "here...Uh-oh."
Kurama was completely baffled. But now he heard loud bangs, crashes, thuds, and clatters. It sounded like a herd of stampeding bulls.
"Why, Youko-kun has arrived," said Ryouko happily as she hurriedly rushed out to meet him. Hiei stared angrily after her and muttered under his breath something that sounded like "stupid fox will never win her from me".
"Man, I can't believe she still calls him Youko-kun," commented Himizu. "That bastard, always crashing around and breaking everything he touches. No respect for law and order. And she still acts as sweet as ever next to him. I say, Hiei, if I didn't know she loved you, I could have sworn those two were dating."
"Himizu."
"Yes?"
"Shut up," Hiei replied in a pissed off voice.
"Now don't tell me you're jealous of those two," Himizu stammered in surprise.
"Hn," was the only reply she received.
"You have nothing to worry about Hiei," Kuwabara said in a reassuring voice. "You and Ryouko are in love. You are an unbreakable couple."
"Indeed," agreed Himizu, "just like the two of us. Isn't that right Kuwa-darling?" He nodded as she slipped her arm around his waist and he around her shoulders. Kurama's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. He didn't know whether to be shocked or disgusted. Much to his dismay, he felt both.
Meanwhile, Ryouko had gone outside to see Youko. She was making sure he did not destroy her entire house.
"Youko-kun, make sure you don't harm the silverware, or any kitchen utensils for that matter. My mother would never forgive me if her on-sale $80 knife were to mysteriously split in two. Also beware of the pictures and the television. You don't want to face my dad when he finds out he cannot watch football because the television was somehow smashed to pieces. And also beware of the furniture. My mother will be devastated if anything were to happen to the furniture. And the chickens. You must not harm the chickens! You hear me, Youko-kun. You must not harm the chickens in any way. They are precious. Done? Good, now let's hurry and join the others, otherwise they'll start without us."
And with that Ryouko and Youko entered the room. By now Kurama was scared and freaked out of his mind. He could handle a nerdy Yusuke and a prank-playing Keiko. He could handle a hockey and Karasu loving Kitsune and a strict and to-the-point Himizu. He could handle a relationship between Hiei and Ryouko and another one between Himizu and Kuwabara. He could even handle two Kurama's. But Ryouko loving the chickens was the last straw. Only the other day he had heard her planning their demise and destruction by machine guns and explosives and knives and any other weapon known to man and demon. And here she was PROTECTING them from someone who would easily and willingly do the dirty work for her. It was just too much to handle.
Now Kurama took a closer look at his double standing in the doorway. He guessed from the beginning by the hand resting on Ryouko's shoulder that Hiei had a very good reason to be jealous. But this double didn't seem like him, Kurama realized. He appeared bigger, stronger, and angrier. His slight form that normally looked so delicate now showed savage grace. His thick red hair was bristled and uncombed, which made him seem even larger. Even the green eyes were different. They were hard and cold, like green ice, just waiting to slice through you in an instant. They also contained a fanatic light that seemed to burn with intense insanity. His hand clutched the rosewhip with the confident readiness, showing that he could lash out at a moments notice. Kurama (the good one) felt himself shudder as those fierce eyes traveled around the room.
It seemed almost forever for those cold eyes to stare around the room. They settled on Himizu. Kurama (the evil one) strode briskly forward. When he spoke, his voice was strong, bold, proud, and scornful.
"So, Himizu, you decided to return."
"Of course I returned," she replied, doing her best to keep the tremor from her voice. "I cannot abandon my work."
"But you did remember my threat, did you not?" There was amusement in his voice now. "You can't have forgotten after what I did to you arm."
Himizu's left hand snaked towards her right arm, but a flick of Kurama's wrist sent the material flying from her arm. Himizu gaped in shock at the torn sleeve and the long, thin, newly healed scar on her arm. It looked suspiciously like a gash from a thorn of the rosewhip. Evil Kurama smiled slightly.
"As I recall, I said that if you ever dared to show your face here again I would do to your neck what I did to your arm."
"Well excuse me for coming back." Himizu's voice was calm and indifferent, but the fear clearly showed on her face. "You almost never show up anyways."
"You'll pay for that remark, pitiful human. Die!"
Kurama (the good one) was horrified. How could anyone hurt a young female with no demon powers? Sure, Himizu could talk her way out of stuff (second that), Kitsune was clever and swift (second that), and Ryouko had her katana (and many other assortments of weapons, but that's beside the point, I second that as well). But none of these qualities could save them from a good old-fashioned attack, like Hiei's black dragon or his rosewhip (wanna' bet?). This Kurama obviously had no sense of honor. But the good Kurama did (good Kurama…evil Kurama…this is getting old…). His hand went to his hair and he grabbed his own rose whip. A flick of his wrist sent his rosewhip winding around the rosewhip of the evil Kurama. A jerk of his hand sent the two rosewhips flying high. A smart backwards tug had them landing in his hands.
Everyone turned to stare, including the evil Kurama. All eyes locked on the strange Kurama. Then the evil one moved forward. The fox in him was clearly evident as his eyes narrowed and his ears began to lengthen. The evil Kurama was not pleased to see this stranger that looked so much like him and could handle the rosewhip with the practiced ease of one who had used it for ages.
All the others watched the two Kurama's, terror and bewilderment stamped on their features. Hiei was the first to speak.
"Great. Wonderful. Two Kurama's. I knew the world would end this way!" (You did?)
"Shut up Koorime," snapped the evil Kurama, eyes never leaving the figure that seemed to mock him with his very being. "Give me back my rosewhip." His voice was sharp and icy cold.
"Come and get it," Kurama taunted, arms crossed, and a confident expression on his face.
The evil Kurama sprang forward. His hand grabbed at the rosewhips. The good Kurama jumped sideways, executing a 90-degree turn. The evil Kurama did the same and they landed in a crouch facing each other. Green eyes met green eyes as they studied each other. Still, Kurama (the good one) was fairly confident that he could win. If what he had observed so far was true, then he would have more intelligence, because that would be his opposite. But there was no reason not to take precautions.
Anticipating his opponent's moves was one of his specialties. He waited until his opponent made a move before countering. Although his opponent had been disarmed of his rosewhip, he still had other plants. And Kurama did not yet have the skill to tell what plants the seeds would become. As though reading his mind, the evil Kurama's hand shot to his hair (man, I need to learn how to store stuff in my hair, piss off all the security sensors…hehehe). Without waiting to see what fearsome plant might be in the evil Kurama's possession, the good Kurama sent his rosewhip lashing in the other's direction. Evil Kurama was unable to move aside fast enough to avoid the rosewhip's deadly thorns. Evil Kurama gasped as he stared at the place where his left hand had one been. The severed stump was now spurting purple blood (please, don't ask where we get this). Himizu was unable to hold back a gasp of surprise.
"Purple blood! Out of sight!" shrieked Kitsune.
"I always knew Youko-kun was an alien of some sort!" cried Ryouko.
Evil Kurama let loose a string of violent exclamations unsuitable for anyplace, much less this fic. He shook his arm wildly, sending purple blood spraying in all directions (MY ROOM!T.T). Himizu squealed, ducking into Kuwabara's arms to avoid the spray. Ryouko ducked behind Hiei (which, mind you, isn't as easy as it sounds). Kitsune caught a drop on her finger and licked it, immediately spitting it out.
"Ugh! Pitooey! All sour and rotten, like grapes gone bad. Blurgh!"
"Kitsune, you idiot. What did you want to taste it for?" questioned Keiko, making a face.
"I was curious," explained Kitsune, who was now washing out her mouth with mint and lavender.
"When a scientist is curious, he does not instantly taste a substance. He carefully analyzes it to check for harmful substances and tests it on creatures of little importance, such as mice (MICE ARE IMPORTANT! SAVE THE MICE AND WHALES!). Once it is concluded safe, then the scientist will venture to taste the unknown item," Yusuke proclaimed.
"Oh give it a rest, Mr. Encyclopedia," grumbled Kuwabara, who still held Himizu protectively in his arms. "We all know you're smarter than us, so stop advertising it and shut your big mouth."
"It can be stated that people of lower intelligence often scorn what they do not understand. Thankfully the same cannot be said for those of a higher degree of intelligence, who are always ready to open their minds to something they cannot yet comprehend." Yusuke stated pompously.
"SHUT UP!" yelled Karasu. "Nobody cares."
"I care."
"You're nobody."
"Anyone who can be called physically living cannot be considered nobody because…mmmf!"
Everyone jumped on Yusuke, tied him up, and put duct tape over his mouth (our cruel streak hasn't completely disappeared, mwa ha ha). All eyes were again fastened on the two combatants.
Evil Kurama wrapped cloth around the bleeding stump. With a sudden wild howl, he threw himself at good Kurama, hand seeking either his rosewhip or good Kurama's neck.
Good Kurama was caught off guard. On a sudden impulse, he leapt into the air, wincing in pain as evil Kurama's fingernails broke the skin above his ankle (such vivid descriptions). Delivering an upward kick, he managed to catch evil Kurama's chin. Executing a flip, he landed neatly behind evil Kurama, pivoting so that his back was not to his foe. Keeping one wary eye on his enemy's back, he licked his finger and wiped the blood that had seeped from the cut. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the others pointing to the red droplets on his ankle and finger. He allowed himself a smile. Perhaps he had succeeded in convincing them that he was a friend, not some freak with purple blood that, according to Kitsune, tasted like rotten, sour grapes.
Evil Kurama lunged again, still hoping to catch good Kurama by surprise. But good Kurama was ready this time, leaping backwards in a light, hop-skipping manner. His infuriated opponent kept coming at him, but his elusive quarry always seemed to be one step ahead of him. As Kurama jumped, he moved his rosewhip in a side-to-side-swaying motion as an extra line of defense. He also wound up evil Kurama's rosewhip and withdrew the spirit energy. To his amazement, he found himself holding a black rose. Kurama blinked and stared at it, his thoughts coming slowly, like they were in a line and filing forward at a snail's pace. His nostrils choked on an overwhelming odor, like black smoke.
Black…dark…evil…Kurama was bewildered. After all, wasn't this…him in a sense? He felt dizzy and confused. He choked, fighting for air through the horrid odor. It was strange. The air appeared clear, but he felt wrapped in smoke. And evil Kurama was preparing to make his move.
What good Kurama didn't know was that evil Kurama's black rose was like no other. With his knowledge of plants and his evil nature, he had created a rosewhip that was a double-edged sword. When it was in its whip form it formed a deadly weapon, obviously. And when it was in its rose form, it sent out an invisible, intoxicating odor that left everyone except evil Kurama gasping for air, leaving him free to move in for the kill. And that is what he was about to do.
The seed that Evil Kurama pulled out was one of the utmost deadliness. When he put his spirit energy into it, the seed became a sharpened bamboo stake that had the potential to grow up to 20 feet in length (like in the second movie). These sharpened stakes could pierce right through a body, even through bones. And one of these deadly items was what was going to be used to murder good Kurama.
Good Kurama managed to conclude that it was the rose that was slowly suffocating him. Not wishing to toss it away and arm his enemy further, he emitted just enough energy to form a curled-up rosewhip. Gasping for air, he had to force back a scream of shock and horror at the sight of a sharpened bamboo stake coming straight at him. He leapt backwards, desperately trying to avoid the rapidly growing plant. By the time he turned to look where he was heading, it was too late. He had backed himself into a corner and there was no way out. Turning again he gasped as the stake zoomed in, straight at his heart. He closed his eyes, praying that death would be swift.
"Shuuichi!"
"AUGH!" Kurama jerked upright with a scream of horror and panic.
"Shuuichi?" There was a rap on his door.
Kurama took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Y-yes Mother," he called after a moment.
"You have a visitor."
"Ok, let me get dressed," he replied. Now he turned and looked around his almost abominably clean room. Everything looked normal. Climbing from bed, he searched for a t-shirt and jeans, all the while trying to reassure himself that it was only a dream. When he was dressed, he made his bed and hung up his pajamas. At last he felt calm enough to call to his mother that he was ready. He had scarcely said "ok" and the door burst open to reveal Kitsune with a big bouquet of roses, red highlights in her really, really dark brown hair, and a huge smile on her face.
"Hi Kurama!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. Kurama gasped for breath as he hid a grin. Things certainly seemed normal so far (NOTHING IS NORMAL, MUAHAHAHA coughgackchoke sorry).
Once Kitsune was finished suffocating him, she grabbed his hand and they went to the Fic Room. All the way there, Kitsune babbled about the websites that the three authors had found and the latest fic that Himizu had read. It was about Kurama and Karasu. Himizu, being Himizu, had immediately babbled to her fellow authors, freaking out Kitsune at the thought of her beloved Kurama even being friends with the evil and most hated Karasu.
Upon arriving at the Fic Room, they found Himizu admonishing Kuwabara and Yusuke. She was shaking two failed tests under their noses. Both boys were sporting many bruises, it looked as though she was following up a physical bludgeoning with a verbal assault.
"HOW THE HECK CAN YOU TWO FAIL THESE TESTS? A FIRST GRADER COULD ACE IT! A TWO-YEAR-OLD COULD ACE IT FOR CRYING OUT FREAKIN' LOUD! (oh, it's loud alright) PUH-LEEZE!"
"I'm never going to use this information when I get older. Give me a break," Yusuke grumbled, totally bored with the conversation.
"ONLY TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE COULD FAIL THIS TEST. A: SOME IDIOTS WHO DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT THEY DO WITH THEIR LIVES OR B. STUPID, BIRD-BRIANED, IDIOTIC, MORONIC, DIMWITTED, FREAKS!" She broke off to suck in air.
"Uh…is that a trick question?" asked Kuwabara. Himizu stared at him for a moment. She looked like she was going to blow up, but then began to laugh hysterically. Yusuke grinned and nudged Kuwabara.
"I told you those three Mountain Dews would work."
"Well Mountain Dew doesn't work with me Yusuke Urameshi. I think Himizu was right!" Keiko had stepped forward and took Himizu's place, lecturing the boys. Yusuke groaned.
Yukina glided in next. She had her usual sweet innocent smile and was carrying no dead squirrels. Kuwabara lit up instantly.
"Yukina-chan! Come sit next to me." He patted the seat next to him and hastily crumpled his test and shoved it out of sight.
For some reason, this made Himizu even more hysterical. Kitsune pulled Kurama to a seat and they watched Himizu laugh.
"What are you laughing about this time, you crazy sadistic dictionary?"
Ryouko had arrived. Kurama turned to look and felt himself stiffen with shock. Hiei was right next to her, one arm encircling her waist. Her own arm was draped around his shoulders. Himizu stared at them and began to laugh even more hysterically.
"SOMEONE GIVE THE GIRL A PEPPERMINT!" screamed Ryouko, making Himizu's situation dangerously close to death by exploding.
After several minutes, Himizu stopped laughing and looked at Ryouko.
"So how did you do on the parallel universe test?"
"What, the one that was talking about that one world that is supposedly running alongside ours, but everything's opposite? That was too easy. I aced it, no da."
"Me too! So did Kitsune and Keiko. Those idiots," she inclined her head in the direction of Yusuke and Kuwabara, "failed it completely." They inched nervously away from her, probably fearing yet another bludgeoning.
Ryouko stared at them for a few seconds, and then nodded her head. "Impressive, even for the male species."
"We don't need to learn! We get cash from participating in these stupid fics," Yusuke muttered.
"And if you don't shut your big yap and get busy with the next one, I'm going to fire you! And the fics aren't stupid!" Himizu exclaimed vehemently.
"Says who?"
"Says me!" She turned to her fellow authors for support. They exchanged glances.
"Well…" started Kitsune slowly.
"There was that one fic…" Ryouko muttered.
"Which one?" asked Himizu.
"That one where you turned Yusuke into a cockatoo and tried to make him pick Kuwabara's eyes out."
"What's wrong with that?" Himizu's face was one of innocence.
"Do you know how freaky it is to have your best friend sprout feathers and start flying in your face and attacking your eyes!" cried Kuwabara.
"Do you know how embarrassing it is to be turned back into a human and land in a pile of feathers while trying to bite your best friend!" Yusuke added.
Himizu thought for a moment, and then grinned. "No! It was amusing though."
"Baka ningen onna," Hiei muttered under his breath. Ryouko glared at him.
"I'm a human girl too, ya' know."
"You aren't an idiot, like her."
Himizu bristled. "Excuuuse meee!" she squeaked. "If you must know, I am far more intelligent than she'll ever be. I thought that ugly purple thing you call a Jagon could see everything. You'd think it could see that my brain is so much bigger than hers!"
"Alright, let's get some things straight here. First, you're excused. Second, anyone who doesn't know who Julia Roberts is and has access to Internet and TV will never be smarter than me. Third, just because your brain is bigger doesn't mean that the dendrites are making connections (didn't you listen during Mrs. Ross's lectures?). And fourth, Hiei's Jagon can see everything, so don't insult it!" retorted Ryouko. There was a rush of steel as Hiei pulled out his katana.
"WHAT! You're going to chop me up with the katana! I wanted to be killed by the Black Dragon! Being devoured by a dragon made of black flames is so much more sadistic and glamorous than being chopped up by some hunk of scrap metal!" Himizu whined, in a tone that made everyone wonder whether she was being sarcastic or not.
"HUNK OF SCRAP METAL!" Hiei yelled, showing a rare burst of extreme, extreme anger. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT INSULT, YOU FEEBLE-MINDED GIRL!"
Himizu grinned wickedly as she casually slid herself behind Kitsune and Kurama (coward). She knew that Hiei would not attack if there were danger to his best friend (or would he?). Or if there was danger to Ryouko, but Ryouko would be only too happy to shove her in the path of the katana. Kurama grinned. It was nice to know that there were some things he could always count on, especially these people. He settled back, listening to people yelling back and forth, crashes, clashes, booms, and so on, and feeling Kitsune sitting close to him. He decided that no matter what different troubles and fights they had, he wanted nothing to change.
"If Hiei doesn't leave me alone, I'll break my vow never to write disgusting fics and write a lemon fic with him and Kurama!" screamed Himizu as Hiei edged closer and closer.
On second thought…
Author's Note:
Well, what can I say, Himizu is crazy. But don't worry, this has been edited and reedited so not everything in here is Himizu's (take, for example, her relationship with Kuwabara. Do you really think she'd put that in all on her own?). I still blush when I get to the Hiei/Me part. Seriously. We actually dubbed this "Parallel Universe" at first, but we thought that'd give away too much. So we thought of "Entering the Fic Room". The fic room is, of course, my room. Kitsune once told me that it's there's no such thing as a fic room and that people will be insulted if we used it, but I say that's not true. Everyone has their own fic room, and ours happens to be my room (that's changed now since I moved, but it won't stop us from writing together!). So everyone is encouraged to start writing their own fics in their own fic room, and enjoy this one that we wrote in ours!
Ryouko
Author's Note 2:
Yeah, basically what she said. I wrote most of this on my own, and then when Ryouko read it and all the things I wrote about her and Hiei, and then Kitsune read the stuff about her and Karasu, I had a choice of getting my head handed to me on a silver platter or being paired with Kuwabara. Since I like my head on my shoulders, not a silver platter, I went with the option that allows me to live. Friggin' lunatic took a few too many liberties if you ask me, but then again… whatever. Anyways, she wrote pretty much everything in parentheses, the part about Kuwabara, and me and the part where Evil Kurama enters, and the amazing last two lines of the fic, which I thought were hilarious. Yes, I am still alive, despite what you read in the disclaimer. I AM IMMORTAL, BWA HA HA! And Kitsune doesn't know what she's talking about, wherever you write fics is a fic room! And our fic room is a fountain of inspiration, so go read all the other products of our fic room!
Himizu
