"I think we should see other people."
The words tore me apart. After more than five year of being together, you leave. I trusted you, I love you and you want to destroy all we had?
I smiled in his face. "Alright."
No more words were exchanged and he left. …He left …He… I couldn't take it, how could he leave me? How could he leave me alone, how could he leave me like this? How could he leave me like this?
It was too late to stop him, who am I to stop him.
Four years of tears, giggles and loneliness pass by and that's when I heard it, the key turning in the lock—I hadn't bothered to take his key—and for the first time in four years, I was afraid. Afraid that he died, afraid he forgot me, afraid he found some other woman…afraid he'd come home… I didn't get up to greet him, kiss his cheek as I usually did, because I promised to play a game with my son.
The look on his face was priceless, my son looked just like him, light green eyes, dark hair (that he inherited from me), and he looked as if he could be a little supermodel. He just stood there shocked. My son looked up and asked who he was. I couldn't lie to him, so I told him the truth.
"He's your father."
I didn't look at Riku again until eight o'clock when putting my son to bed. It was nervous, this was something I'd been avoiding all day, so when he wrapped his around my waist. I slapped his hands away. How dare he touch me after what he did?
He looked shocked in the least. He'd never seen me react this way to him, I had always been happy around him, angry at times, but never this.
"What did I do?"
"What did you do? You left me alone and you come back four years later and think everything's okay!"
"But I came back. Baby I only love you."
I snapped at him. "DON'T 'baby' me, you walked out the door and didn't come back until today. Four years Riku. You want something." I knew I had tears in my eyes; I had to turn away from him sniffling.
"But…I was only gone a day…"
"I'm pretty sure babies aren't born in a day Riku!"
I was angry, so angry with him that all I could do was cry. Sobbing uncontrollably as he just watched. I didn't want him to hold me, but it would've been nice to have my old Riku back.
"I'm sorry; it only felt like a day. I just needed some me time, I was so lost, so confused. I shouldn't have left you in the first place. I love you."
"And what were you so confused about? Us? Or was it me? I'm not sure if you love me anymore." These words hurt the words that I've longed to say to him, the words that fuel the hatred in my heart.
"But—"
"Get out."
"What?"
"I said leave. Riku, I don't need you. I can't be around you, I love you too much, and it just hurts to be around you now. You left me alone. Alone to raise our son. Your son who grew up his first four years not knowing who his father was. My son who reminded me of you every time he looked at me. I hate how much I love you, because it's tearing me apart to the point where I just want to die. I've been dead already, I—" He scared me.
His arms wrapped around me making me feel even worse. I just wanted him to stop. I had it all together until he showed up, I wasn't going to drown in my sorrows, and I wasn't going to kill myself over him, but he had to show up. But he was worth it. We all make mistakes, but Riku never made any and I'd made plenty and he'd forgiven me, even said that they were cute. I couldn't stand being without him, I just can't do it. I can't stay mad at him, whether it is four years or four seconds.
"Please, don't leave me, not again."
"I won't, I promise…"