This will be a series of Random scenes, hopefully never to be seen on BSG…
Time: Season One or Two
Drunk Pilots on CAP
One fine day in space, the Galactica Pilots on CAP flying around the fleet were acting quite odd. Wings uneven, shaking in there flight suits, flying around in circles and laughing hysterically.
Duck, Starbuck, Hot Dog and Apollo were on this CAP.
Here is some of the ship to ship chatter..
Lip blopping noises, tongue clucking, splatting noises, quacking, and some one singing Frak, Frak, Frak, Frak, Frak…. Frakkity Frak Frak Frak.. Frak Frak Frak. FRAK!
"Frak Duck quit Quacking already I can't hear the noises my mouth is making," that was followed by the sounds of Starbuck clicking her tongue, making splat noises with her cheeks and blopping sounds with her lips.
"FRAK, FRAK, FRAK, FRAK, I MISS THE SUNLIGHT! I THINK GALACTICA SHOULD GET A BEACH, DON'T YOU GUYS THINK THAT'D BE GREAT?" Apollo screams at his fellow pilots on CAP, as well as whoever's listening in CIC.
"Quack."
"Would there be swimming?" Cluck, cluck, cluck, blop, blop, splat, splat, splat.
"Why the Frak should I know?"
"Couldn't we mimic swimming by floating in space or depressurizing a cargo bay, sirs?"
"Is that possible, Frak Dog… um Hot Dog?" Apollo asked curious as his Viper started to do an arc aiming straight at Starbucks Viper, which was flying in a sweep at his.
Duck kept Quacking.
"Um.. Sirs? Are you okay.. I think you both need to pull up NOW!" Hot Dog told his superiors.
Starbuck and Apollo narrowly missed crashing into each other.
"Wow that was awesome, wanna do it again?" Apollo asked enthusiastically as Starbuck continued to make random noises with her mouth.
"NO, That's an order, Sirs!" Hot Dog yelled at them.
"I Am God, Hot Dog, Shut the FRAK UP," cluck, blop, splat.
"I'm NOT a Nugget anymore Starbuck, Shut the Frak Up."
"NO STARBUCK I'M GOD!" Apollo screamed over the wireless.
"No Your One of The GODS!" Starbuck told him back.
"I'M One of the Gods, Well FRAK Me!" Apollo exclaimed.
"Neither of you are GODS, your both P-I-L-O-T-S, Pilots, Human I hope Pilots.. Viper Pilots, V-I-P-E-R Pilots!" Hot Dog raged at his superiors as Duck continued to quack in the background. "And find someone to frak you later, not while on CAP!"
"Okay, what's CAP?"
"OH FRAK! Dammit CAG, your on it now!"
"I'm flying a frakking ship not of CAP."
"Combat Air Patrol, Captain Adama, Combat Air Patrol is CAP."
"Oh, so that's why I'm flying right now, I'm not dreaming? Frak I thought I was dreaming."
"This is fun, wheeeeee! Want to race Apollo, I'll race around that big bubble topped looking ship!"
"OKAY!"
"That's Cloud Nine you Frakheads.. I mean, Sirs."
"Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack.." and Duck continues ongoing.
"Hot Dog to Galactica Actual."
"Hot Dog, this is Galactica Actual." Commander Adama replied.
"Commander, I um think the CAP is drunk excepting myself, Sir."
"Galactica Actual, Hot Dog, Who is on CAP with you, Lieutenant?"
"Hot Dog, Galactica Actual, Starbuck, Apollo and Duck, Sir."
"Galactica Actual, Hot Dog. Well, if the Cylons show up you'll be fine you've got two of the best out there even if there drunker or as drunk as Colonel Tigh on a normal day."
"Hot Dog, Galactica Actual, What about Duck, sir?"
"Galactica Actual, Hot Dog. Um.. He'll be fine… I hope, think, Good Hunting if they show up Hot Dog."
"Hot Dog, Galactica Actual. Thanks Sir, I think."