It all started with a piece of gum. A little piece of gum. I was sitting in my Spanish class, the only class Sam and I had in common. She was sitting behind me, chomping loudly on her gum. I could actually smell it. Minty, mixed with whatever ham smell she had eaten for lunch. I was focusing on taking notes that I hadn't noticed the loud chomping stop until class was over. I was putting my books in my locker when Carly walked up behind me.
"Freddie, did you know that you have gum in your hair?" She asked.
"What?" My hand flew to the back of my neck to feel a sticky substance stuck in my hair.
"Sam!" I angrily looked toward her as she walked to her locker.
"Hey, nice hair, Fredqueer." Sam laughed as she opened her locker.
"Sam, why would you put gum in my hair?" I asked.
"I could have put it on your chair." She smirked. That stupid little smirk, the one that said I win. The one I hate with a passion. I slammed my locker closed and headed to the bathroom to wash the gum out of my hair.
That was the first prank that started this current prank war.
The next day I began planning my revenge. I woke up early and went to school. Almost no one was there. Perfect. I broke into Sam's locker and covered everything with maple syrup. I felt so evil.
Of course, when I was talking to one of the other members of the AV club, it suddenly wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.
"Benson!" I looked toward the angry person who yelled my name. Sam was marching toward me carrying her jacket that was dripping with sticky syrup. Before I knew what was happening, she had me by the collar of my shirt holding me up against a locker.
"Alright, look, Ass-munch, you are going to clean out my locker or I will kick you in the nuts so hard you'll be hacking up pieces of balls for weeks." She said threateningly. She angrily let me go. I took a deep breath, but suddenly there was a strong hand digging into my arm.
"And if you think you'll be off the hook, you've got another thing coming. Sleep with one eye open." I felt her sharp nails leave my arm. I could feel the little droplets of blood forming on my arm as well.
"Freddie?" My AV club buddy asked, seeing as I had a blank stare on my face.
"Yeah, I'm good." I suddenly needed a drink of water. I made my way to the nearest drinking fountain. All I could think about were Sam's threats and found it to be in my best interest to go clean out her locker.
Two days later I was sitting in my room working on homework. I was almost completely absorbed in pre-calculus that I almost didn't hear my phone ringing. It was a text message from Sam.
*Hey, I'm coming over.* it said. Weird, since when did Sam want to be here? But, true to her word, five minutes later, there was a ham craving girl sitting on my bed while I was seated at my desk.
"Hey, will you go get me fried chicken?" She asked, rolling onto her stomach.
"I'm doing homework." I said, not bothering to turn around.
"So where do you stand on the chicken?" She asked. I turned around.
"No, Sam." I told her.
"Ugh, I'm bored." She complained.
"Then why did you come here?" I asked her. She shrugged. I sat down on the bed beside her. "I can take a little break. What do you want to do?"
The answer was Sam shoving my leg, but since she was laying face down she couldn't push me hard enough. I laughed and pushed her playfully. I enjoyed when we didn't fight to the death. It was fun. She shoved me a little harder. I pushed her so she rolled over onto her back. Then she tackled me onto my bed.
"Ha!" I was stuck staring at her stupid little victory smirk. She wasn't winning this one. I still had my feet.
"Fredward Benson!" I heard my mom storm into the apartment. I tried to get up, but Sam wasn't budging. "Fredward, what is this?" My mom held up a tiny thing in her hand.
"Get off of me." I growled at Sam. She still had that stupid smirk on her face as she swung her leg back over me and stood up. I looked at the thing in my mom's hand. It was a condom!
"Mom, that's not mine." I said looking between my mom and Sam.
"Well it was in the pocket of your jeans." My mom said.
"I don't know how it got there." I said, starting to panic. Sam. It had to be Sam. She must have snuck it into my pocket when I was in gym class.
"Go put your shoes on. I'm taking you to get tested for STD's." My mom angrily left the room.
"When?" I asked through clenched teeth.
"After you had gotten changed for gym." Sam smirked.
"Ugh, I hate you." I growled.
"Freddie!" My mom yelled. I kicked my desk then looked at Sam as my mom pulled me out of my room by my arm. She waved at me, all the while watching me with her stupid little smirk.
It was a few days later that I retaliated. And I had the perfect idea.
That weekend Sam was staying the night at Carly's. Around midnight I snuck across the hall to the Shay's apartment. I could hear Spencer snoring in his room. I snuck over to the fridge and emptied its contents into a garbage bag. They would get them back later, but right now the only thing that would be in there was green jello. That is the only food Sam hates. I snuck back across the hall and stuffed the food into the coolers I had set up in my room. I couldn't wait to see Sam's face in the morning.
The next morning I got up and let myself into Carly's living room.
"Oh, hey Freddie." Carly smiled at me as she and Sam came down the stairs sleepily.
"Don't start dorking at me until I have my morning ham." Sam fumbled her way into the kitchen and opened the fridge. There was no greater moment than when she turned around and looked at me with that tragedy stricken look on her face.
"Benson!" She yelled, stomping toward me. "You can do anything, but you don't mess with Mama's ham." She grabbed me by the collar of my t-shirt.
"I'm not even sorry, your face was priceless." I tried my hardest not to laugh. Her face turned red with anger.
"Get it back! Now!" She shoved me toward the door.
"Oh, don't be so mad, Sam." I chuckled as I headed for my apartment.
"I will rip you balls off, rip your eyes out, and switch them." Sam yelled at me as I went to get the food from my room. As I was walking I could feel that hated smirk on my face. It wad Sam's victory smirk. It was starting to grow on me.
I had waited and waited for a better prank to come at me. A week later, still nothing. Maybe I had won the war. But Sam would never let that happen. She had to be planning something big, something bad.
I was reading a book in my room the next Saturday. It was quiet, until I heard my door slam open. I set my book down to see Sam standing there, soaking wet from walking in the rain outside. The way she looked at me was different. It wasn't angry, it wasn't really anything. I sat up on my bed.
"Sam? What's wrong?" I pushed my book aside. She ran to me and tackled me onto my bed. I couldn't even ask what she was doing when her lips crashed into mine. I shoved her off of me.
"What the hell are you doing?" I breathed.
"I miss you, I miss you so much." She whispered quickly.
"Sam, are serious? I mean, we broke up for a reason." I said, she wasn't paying attention. She was focused on fumbling with the buttons on my shirt. I grabbed her hands.
"I know, I know. But don't you miss this, just a little?" She asked, seemingly out of breath.
"Sam, thats a serious question. Sometimes I do, I guess, but-"
"Then kiss me." Sam whispered, staring into my eyes. Those icy blue orbs broke me. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her up onto my lap. She pushed me back onto my bed. She eagerly finished unbuttoning my shirt. I yanked it off of my arms and threw it. As she trailed kisses on my jaw line, I unzipped her jacket and flung it toward my desk. It knocked over my desk lamp, but that was the last thing on my mind at that moment. All my focus was on getting Sam's shirt off. She wouldn't stop kissing me long enough for me to take her shirt off. I was ready to rip it to shreads when she paused to pull it off herself. She always did know when I had reached my breaking point with her. That was one of the things I liked most about her. I desperately tried to undo her bra, but my hands were shaking too much. Without a word of mockery, Sam reached behind her back and unhooked it with one flick of the wrist. It slid off her shoulders and onto the floor. I ran my hands up her sides and over her breasts. I could feel her fingers working on my belt buckle. It was weird. I thought I had been over Sam. We had broken up and that was it. But now here she was, unzipping my jeans. I kicked the denim off quickly. This wasn't fair for me. Sam was still wearing pants. I flipped us over. Sam laughed.
"Fair enough." She said, reaching for the button on her jeans.
"No, allow me." I said, stopping her hands. I undid her jean and gave her a second to kick them off. She eagerly hooked her hand in my boxers and yanked them down. Then she snaked her arms around my neck. I took a moment too look her over. My hands were resting on her hips, toying with the elastic edge of her undergarments.
"Gosh, you are so beautiful. I love you." I sighed. Her head snapped up and looked at my face.
"What?" She asked. I looked up at her.
"I love you Sam." I whispered. She got a devious smile across her face. It was that smirk, that winning smirk.
"That's all I needed to hear." She pushed me over onto my bed. I watched in shock as she pulled her jeans and bra on. Before I knew it she was completely dressed. She grabbed my face in her hand and kissed me one more time. She pulled back and smirked at me.
"I win." She said, then I had the pleasure of watching her saunter out of my room.
That day I decided two things.
1) I would not start another prank war with Sam as long as I live.
2) I absolutely hated her smirk.