Chapter 1: Healed

It was 10 pm when he took a glance at the clock hung lousily in his apartment living room. Now that the black wool coat is rid of and tossed onto the couch, he made his way to his four-poster bedroom. He threw his weight on it as he began to beg darkness to claim him quick.

It has been three years since Inuyasha finally settled as the CEO of his dad's company as his elder brother had wished. Life had not been half bad for him with his girlfriend and his little fortune at his estate in Florida, until a few months ago when he began having vision of his past love. He should have had already planned out how to apologize to Kikyo for his recent odd behavior and cold treatment around her, instead of laying here brooding about any possible relation between his dreams and Kagome.

The last time he saw her was four days before their wedding. He remembered the fluttered feeling filled with happiness in his chest as he was about to surprise her at the café she usually has lunch. He remembered turning the corner of the block to find his fiancé kissing Kouga. Stiffened at the sight before his eyes, Inuyasha kept watching with clenched fist as he saw Kagome wiping tears of her face. Reality sunk in, she only wanted to be with him for his money and his status after all. For a nice girl like her, giving him her virginity just seemed too much of a simple decision. He should have known better to trust his instinct rather than her lame excuses for speaking nice of Kouga and going all sweet with Hojo, her suitors since High School. The hurt was casted aside as he let his raising anger took better of him. The woman he loves was having an affair with another man behind his back.

Three years since he left her at the altar, his feeling for her always returns to him with no less intensity. Maybe, it would better that he sticks around and let that feeling gradually cease, rather than abruptly cut it. Leaving her at the altar was his punishment for she broke his heart and humiliated him the worst way possible. He never gives her a call or anything, for he thinks she doesn't deserve the least of his attention, not any more.

He would rather dwell on it on his own.

He misses Kagome so much that he craves to eat the food she made, to hear the voice she only speaks to him and to hold her in his arms as he leads them both to slumber every night. Kikyo is a good friend, a good companion for work support and adultery need. But she doesn't give him those feeling that made his heart swell and his mind reel to content happiness.

….

Inuyasha woke up to his horror, clutching the fabric in front of his chest as his ragged breathing slowly returns to normal. Kagome was bleeding in his subconscious again. The thought of her covered with blood and pain voluntarily prods at the mass of ache he tried to refrain from surfacing. He called to book for the earliest flight possible. Whether or not this decision is going to ruin his business break, he has to see her safe with his own eyes and end this three-month-length suffering.

Kagome was humming and singing after the song playing from her playlist. The broccoli crowns were all sliced and washed. Now she only needed to season the salmon. Thursday has always been nice, she doesn't have to teach. The chilled life she has at her mother's house has only gotten better since her angel got spectacular comments from his Daycare teacher, which causes Mama, Souta and Grandpa to swell with pride and shower him with love. Though, she wish to get out of this cast and this wheel chair as soon as possible so she join with Mama to her son's park-day, like she always had before since he learned to walk.

However, as long certain males don't bug her too much, she would be comfortable. Kouga and Hojo often visit her and they hang out, sometimes along with her best friend Sango and Miroku. Whether it was out of love or pity about what happened on her wedding day, she certainly does not want to receive any affection from the guys, who seem to harbor some hope regardless of her mothering a son. It is a good thing that her leg will recover in two more months. She is more than happy with what she has right now.

With that in mind, Kagome smiled as she finished placing the seasoning back to the cabinet. The ringing doorbell cut of her reverie as she wondered if that was too quick of a park-and-treat session for her son and Mama. Whatever, she thought as she wheeled around the counter toward to front door.

Just a few more steps, whether or not she is home, there should be someone home, from whom he would find out the answer for his nightmare. After running around the town to check on her college apartment, Inuyasha drove straight to the Higurashi's Shrine, the only place where she could be at. His mind make a mental note as he strode through the ground, noticing the ramp for handicap visitors has been renewed and cleared of dust and rotten leaves, while the steps looked as ancient as they were the last time he came here.

He was then at the front door. He took a deep breath, eased his mind and prepared himself for any curses and taunts thrown his way. However, the sound of the resonating doorbell only brought him deeper into the tense and unease blood flowing within. The door knob turned …

At the sight of his love greeting him in a wheel chair, his sanity started to lose its grip again as his mind left stricken for words to speak.

"Inuyasha?" Her beautiful face adorned a surprise look as she weakly voiced out his name.

He finally uttered the name "Kagome," as his gaze dropped to the thick cast encaging her left leg from below the knee down.

Kagome raged in thought for a split second. The reason for his sudden appearance …could only be that he knows about Seiji. Fear filled her grilled-salmon bubble as she moved aside and opened the door for him. Whatever reason he is here for, she wanted to get this done quick.

"Come in." She spoke.

Once inside, noticing that Kagome was the only one home, he couldn't hold in any longer. The nerve of this woman, how dare she just calmly gave him a "How are you?"

"What happened to you"? He eyed her leg quickly as he graced himself for a seat on the couch as she offered him a cup of tea.

Being caught off guard when he countered her formal greeting, Kagome mouth gaped an "Oh…" as she proceeded to answer. Figuring his impatience, she might as well tell about the details,

"A car was driving recklessly as it approached to stop at the stop light, and I dived in to shield a child from harm. That is all. Ah… a few months ago it was." She paused. "Inuyasha, why are you here?"

Inuyasha was lost for word. So this is possibly the reason he had bloody dreams about her being hurt. Is this it, the conversation and the answer he seeked for? He was sorry for her, but somehow did not have the courage to say his sympathy. The sight of her vulnerable and yet still beautiful slowly dragged him back to the small aching hole inside his chest again.

"Look, Inuyasha, this is only temporary, I can walk again. So don't pity me. Now answer my question. Why are you here?" She spoke calmly, aiming to get a hold of her impatience. Seiji could be heading home anytime soon.

"I had repeating dreams of you covered in blood" He hesitantly said.

Kagome smiled to herself as she found his answer somewhat amused. Lingering seconds passed in silence, "Hmm, well then, you got your answer, you should leave."

"What do you do for a living now?" Inuyasha quickly asked away the things on his mind.

"I worked at Seika High as a literature teacher." She answered. They both knew that the school mentioned is one of high ranking in the city that most students are of quality class and the school is known with highly academic curriculum.

A minute went by, and Inuyasha made no move to speak or leave after his attempt to salvage the feeling of being kicked out. He stared at the patch in front of his feet. "Won't you ask me about why I did what I did three years ago?" He asked, looking at her, as he added "Ah, I guess you already knew the reason", that you were cheating on me and it was only fair that I left you.

"No. I never get it." Kagome shook her head a little, eyebrows raised a fraction. Since he brought it up, she might as well do as her curiosity please. "So, why?"

So she was acting innocent now huh? "You were fucking cheating on me with Kouga. I saw you kissing him and going all teary meeting him four days before the day." Damn, he hated to lose his dignity like this. It should be her begging him for an answer, rather than him having to snapped and blurt shit out first.

"Wow, and you believed that. I was only meeting him to give him our wedding invitation. After all he was faithful and loved me all the while. He looked hurt, and I felt sorry for him. That's why I got teary. And he kissed me on the cheek as a display of our good friendship. We did not kiss." She responded him calmly, as if reading an excerpt of Heart of Darkness to the teens in her class. "I didn't tell you, because I thought it was not necessary, seeing how busy we were at the time. And I thought, we knew of our love for each other." She added, tilting her head to the side with little interest.

"How do I know if what you said is true or not?" His tone was dry and curt.

Stupid and childish as expected, she thought. "That is all what I have to say. To think that you left me at the altar for that, I had no clue and I have nothing else to say. Whether or not you believe it, that is your story and I think you should finish that at home on your own" …"Now, if you will excuse me, I need to cook now. Do you want more tea?"

Comprehension dawned as Inuyasha recalled the scene he saw at the café. What he saw was only fleeting images, and he had let his instinct do the assumption. If what her account were correct then … then … he have accused her and punished her wrongly all this while.

He had abandoned her. He had hurt her.

Gods, he needed to think. Taking a quick glance over her skinny form now half hidden behind the fridge, He moved across the living room, made a familiar turn to the bathroom. He was only a few steps away in the hall, when he paused to take her call.

"Inuyasha, when you're done, you can leave. But if you still wish to speak to me, then see me in my room." After all, he's the father. He deserves to know that he has a son of his blood. "I have something to tell you." Of course, as far as the conversation goes, she certainly does not wish to have her son and Mama walk in on them in the living room. That's why she preferred to have the conversation continued in her room. She pressed the button on the rice cooker, and then wheeled to her room.

Inuyasha was struck for words and thoughts. He sat on the bathroom floor with his back to the wall. The lump lodge in his throat causes him grasp the front of his sternum. He found it hard to breathe as the burning feeling persistently crept up to the bridge of his nose. No, he can't cry, not just yet. He had wronged her all this time, forsake her love, his love because of his stupidity. Why didn't he trust her? It was him who stabbed their little sweet-white-cake bubble, and ruined the relationship they had managed to weave since high school. He had wasted all the tears, effort and heartache from the obstacles they went through.

He felt like was in love with her all over again at the flashes of their past together. But he cannot mop over and suck on his guilt right on spot like this. Quickly splattered the running water onto his face, he looked at his red eyes through the mirror. First, he needs to apologize, just for the sake of it, and tell her how much he still loves her. Then he will ask to marry her, and right all the wrongs. Determined, Inuyasha made his way to Kagome's room.

Her back was away from him. She was reading in her wheel chair. How can she be so calm? His mind raked. "Kagome." He softly called.

"Feel better? I made a cup of coffee for you", Kagome lightly smiled as he helped himself to sit on her bed as she instructed. Now, he thought.

"Kagome… I know saying sorry will not be enough to cover for what I had done to you. But I'm sorry…. I'm fucking sorry." She blinked, once, twice as she kept staring at him. Her expression was unreadable. The damp he tried to hold just a few minutes earlier broke. He was then on his knees in front of her.

"Please" He began to tremble, "please let me fix this. Please, marry me again. Please do the honor of becoming my wife." He was desperate, tears streaming down his cheeks as his face contorted in response to the pain gnawing at his inside. He hugged her knees while all he wanted to do was to hold her close just so he can hide the shame and his face away from her gaze. His form was shaking.

Her dark brown eyes pierced into his soul deeper every second he looked at them. Indifferent. He swiftly reached to hold her hands. Suddenly, he flinched and backed away from her.

"Ah… this" She said, eyeing the ring on her marriage finger, "I am still single. This is only used to ward off unnecessary attention from the male teachers at work."

He looked less stiffened, recovered from the little shock, he proceeded on with his proposal. "I love you. I have always loved you. I loved you back then and I am still in love with you… And I missed you so… much." His golden orbs kept piercing her brown ones. I needed to tell her this- how I truly feel all those years.

Silence hung between them as Kagome let out a soft long release of her breath. "Thanks. But listen. Before you decide on your ground about that proposal again, I need you to know something."

"I have a son with you."

What? He mentally asked. The previous feeling of love from his proposal and the fear of seeing her indifferent face were quickly replaced with increasing anger.

His eyes narrowed as he said wryly, "And you didn't tell me all this time. I have some rights, you know."

She had fucking kept his child away from him and deprived him of the important role he should played in the kid's life. He wanted to glare at her, give her some nasty look as he accused her of how cruel that was. But somehow, his intuition told him to wait and listen to her. Little did he know, he was in no way prepared to hear she was about to say next.

"I found out I was pregnant three weeks after you left. I was still very sad, you know. But I figured I need to tell you. So I called your cell. A girl picked up your phone, and I asked to speak to you. I heard her call your name." Being sad was an understatement, she was depressed and the pain was beyond repairable. Anyway, she doesn't need to tell him any of that. Not now. Not anymore.

Kagome paused as she looked straight into Inuyasha's eyes. "You told her 'Ignore it, just hang up, Kikyo'. I heard you grunted. And then I heard a loud thud, and Kikyo lost hold of the receiver. I could be assuming things, but I concluded that you guys were having sex, I heard few moans and grunts and I hung up. So I decided that whether or not you cared, it was better that you don't know about the child."

"Kikyo sounded very nice. If I remember right, she was trying to protest you. She tried to get you on the phone. And I thought, perhaps, you guys deserved a chance with each other without your past chaining you down." Kagome added.

Inuyasha looked away from Kagome. He was shaking again. His lips parting, trembling as his eyebrows furrowed. His left hand was tightly grabbing the front of his mouth, as his right arm held his knees as he drew them up against his front. He was sobbing and inaudibly crying. His shoulders heaved with sobs he fought to control. Every thought of his own stupidity and anger dissipated as he felt the thorny weight tugging at his heart and his chest. He felt the need to clarify and explain something. But the fact was all there. He was fucking another woman three weeks after he left Kagome. All he wished for was to have the woman in front of him stab him right there and then.

Until she speaks again, he would never open his mouth. Until she touches him again, he would never allow himself to touch her. The pain was incredible and his guilt was burning his inside. He felt disgusted with himself. What was he to ask for her forgiveness, to ask for her-her whole being to accompany him once again?

He failed to trust her, the woman he claimed to love. Then he abandoned her on their most important day. And he had outright betrayed her and she witnessed it. Who cares if it was true that he only need to release his pent up frustration through Kikyo?

Kagome was dumbfounded at his reaction. Little tantrum, remind me of Seiji, she mentally added. He looked lost and hurt as his form crumpling at her feet. Funny, just like in dramas, she thought. She leaned forth, reached out a hand and gently placed it on top of his, the one holding his knees. Inuyasha still didn't look at her.

"Listen, Inuyasha. Stop hurting yourself. I am not blaming you at all." She said. He shook his head haphazardly as more tears rolled down his face, and his forehead ceased harder.

"Inuyasha, if you want to marry me out of pity, then you don't need to. One, my salary is very good. Beside that my leg is going to heal soon. Two, my life is perfectly happy right now. I have not been sad for a long time." Her eyes looked slightly concerned as she bored into his.

"Though, if you still want to marry me, then of course, I would say yes. I do want to our son to be happy with a full family." She paused.

"If…, if only you can bear with it. I mean…, I don't really feel the same for you anymore."

He froze as his eyes kept staring at hers. Followed her few line of information was utter silence. Inuyasha wasn't sure if he can take anymore blows in the same day. You don't feel the same for me anymore. That had answered all of his side concerns along their conversation. Her face had remained cold. He saw her tried to smile and look concerned, but he suspected that she was merely faking it. His mind didn't want to venture forth toward that possibility. That she didn't love him anymore.

Inuyasha forced his eyes closed as he attempted to calm and force down the lump in his throat again. "I… I understand. But, I will take care of you until death do us apart. And I will always love you…. if you will have me." He choked out the words.

Call it shame or guilty, he recognized it as love. And his feet have been too deep in it to step out ever again. He never wants to be apart from her ever again. He watched her intently, as her clear brown eyes looked as if they were pondering on something.

Kagome nodded a few times in agreement and her lips managed a smile. "I still want to know something." She paused,

"Saying… you have been involved with some woman. My question is… Have you been using protections?" Kagome timidly asked.

He blinked once, twice… Kagome stuttered, "I'm sorry for the sudden question. I didn't mean to pry. I just don't want to have some nice girls reveal that they have your baby in their tummies during our wedding ceremony." She cocked her head to the sight, hesitantly looking at anything but him.

Inuyasha nodded. Pry? How does that work. "I always used protection. But I am not involved in anything recently though... Three months since that dream." He confirmed. Gods, now I just committed another crime. He made a mental note to completely break up with Kikyo as soon as possible.

"Inuyasha, I am not rushing you. I will give you time to finish your business with whoever you are in a mess with."

Inuyasha inwardly groaned. Just how much does this woman understand me really? Was he that readable? Or… could she possibly still care about and understand him like she did? She knows that he was prone to having things messed up and procrastinated after all. Sticking with that last shard of hope, he blew his nose into the tissues she handed as he silently vowed to make her fall in love with him again.

Inuyasha sat up still kneeling. He held her secured in his arms. He knew that he needed her, and he would do anything to have her happily secured by his side. A few tears found their ways down his cheeks again as he buried his face in the side of her neck. The feeling was familiarwhen when he fully let her warmth and her scent fill his nostrils, enter his system and heal the agitation inside his organs. Part of him dwelled on about how cruel she was to be so calm while he was going insane every second with her near him.

It was Kagome who broke the silence and cut him off his reverie. "Inuyasha, I named our son Seiji. He will be three years old soon. He knows what you look like. His personality and interest is similar to yours. You need to know this. I will tell you the reason later. I think they're home."

Inuyasha broke off the embrace as he sat back, looking at her confused. Though, he was rather proud and smiled inwardly at the mention of their similarity.

Kagome added, her tone worried "Act like you know each other and you misses him. Okay?"

A small pang poked his heart, as he tried to mentally repent the crime for deserting his child. He saw the slight frantic in her eyes. So, she worries this much about our son, but not was totally cold when he was bawling out loud his pain and guilt? Half of him was content with her motherly love, but his heart lurched again inside is ribcage as he sighed and nodded.

Ruckus of noise aroused in the living room. A distant cheering and a chirpy boyish voice echoed through the hall along with odd-paced footsteps. "Mama, food smells good. I got you ice-cream." Kagome eyes were on Inuyasha all the while.

A/N:

As you might have notice, there were not much at all regarding what Kagome thinks and feels, which contrast to the details on Inuyasha. He is in for hell. Pity him if you like. Please review, complain and comment on anything. Remember: this is my first time writing after all.

Until next time.