Pokemon. Uh huh huh, he said poke.
Author's Notes: Ever since I joined this site back in 2005, I had always dreamed of doing a Pokemon/Beavis and Butt-Head crossover. Now, in honor of the dumbass duo finally back after a fourteen year absence, in which TV started to suck (outside of Pokemon, of course) so, this is done in honor of Mike Judge for finally bringing them back. This was also partially inspired by my good friend, Aaron, or as some of you may know him as Neo Namco, and his excellent Pokemon/The Simpsons crossovers. So, Mike and Aaron, and Mr. Satoshi Tajiri, this is for all three of you, enjoy. (Though, only Aaron will probably read it.)
Synopsis: Ash and friends travel to Highland, Texas, USA, where they meet America's favorite teenage dumbass duo. Will Ash get his gym badge? Will Butt-Head score with Misty? Will Team Rocket's dastardly plans be foiled by The Great Cornholio?
Disclaimer: Pokemon belongs to Satoshi Tajiri, while Beavis and Butt-Head belong to Mike Judge.
The classic Pokemon theme from the 1990s rang out as Mew and Mewtwo flew in space. The scene cuts to Ash Ketchum looking up in triumph in the middle of the Indigo Stadium.
I want to be the very best,
Like no one ever was,
(cut to a three-way montage of Squirtle, Cubone, and Pidgeotto.)
To catch them is my real test,
To train them is my cause,
(scene shows part of the episode when Ash caught his Bulbasaur, Ash fist-pumping in triumph, and Charmander being licked by Haunter.)
(scene cuts to Ash throwing a Pokeball.)
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
(scene shows Ash running with a Rapidash, the Rapidash jumps into the air, followed by Zapdos and Articuno. Another three-way cut, this time showing Sandshrew, Kadabra, and Charmander.)
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside
(Scene shows Ash and Pikachu riding on the back of Lapras, with a Dragonair breaching the ocean water. A freshly caught Pokemon gets turned into red light and is fazed into a Pokeball as it closes.)
Pokemon!
(Raichu almost body slams Pikachu during Ash's battle with Lt. Surge.)
Gotta catch 'em all!
(Cut to shot of Caterpie cowering in fear in front of Ekans and Koffing. Ash then hugs Pikachu in the Celadon Gym.)
It's you and me!
(Tentacruel smashes a building with its tentacle.)
I know it's my destiny!
(Ash holds a shining Pokeball up in triumph.)
Pokemon!
(Onix faces the camera and roars.)
Oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
(Ash gets surrounded by Misty and Brock, before being taken over by Jessie, James, Ekans, Koffing, and Meowth. Gary Oak smirks at the screen, holding a Pokeball arrogantly.)
Pokemon!
Gotta catch 'em all!
Our hearts are true
(Scene shows Blastoise using Hydro Pump, Charizard using Flamethrower, Venesaur sneering at the camera, as Pikachu runs underneath a random girl's skirt, jumping into the air with a happy look on his face. Professor Oak, Mrs. Ketchum, Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy all nod, smiling at the camera.)
Our courage will pull us through!
(The giant mechanical Charizard aims a Fire Blast at Ash, Misty, and Brock as they dive behind a boulder to get out of the way.)
You'll teach me and I'll teach you!
(Ash's new Squirtle runs up to him and Ash embraces it lovingly, while Pikachu shows a look of joy on his face.)
Pokemon!
(Cut to Pikachu riding on Pidgeotto's back, Zubat carrying Squirtle, and Butterfree carrying Bulbasaur.)
Gotta catch 'em all!
Gotta catch 'em all!
Pokemon!
(Ash throws a Pokeball which spins into the Pokemon logo, spinning on its axis.)
Just then, a pair of hands comes out over the TV screen, with the sound of two people laughing stupidly, one sounding like "Uh, huh huh huh." with another laugh sounding like "Heh, heh, hm." The hands then rearrange themselves over the Pokemon logo, before managing to cover up the letters MON and the accent sign above the E. The word now says poke.
Zooming out from the TV screen, the culprits of the TV show title vandalism show themselves to be none other than Beavis and Butt-Head.
Butt-Head laughed at his clever juvenile sense of humor. "Uh, huh, huh, it says poke, uh, huh, huh," while Beavis said "Oh yeah!" while laughing in his own idiotic way.
Just then, Beavis and Butt-Head turned around to see the audience, the readers of this fanfic.
"Oh, hi there!" Beavis said, laughing. "Welcome to this new fanfic by Zombie Hippie."
Butt-Head slapped Beavis across the face, causing Beavis to cry out in pain.
"Shut up, dumbass!" Butt-Head said with his slight lisp due to his braces. "I'm doing the intro to this fanfic. You're too much of a dork to do it yourself, you'll mess it up, butthole!"
"Oh, yeah!" Beavis said, laughing. "Sorry about that."
"Uh," Butt-Head started out. "Like, welcome to this, like, fanfic or something." He continued to laugh. "We were like, recruited by Zombie Hippie to star in his new fanfic, which is probably gonna like, suck or something. The only reason we agreed to do this, is like, our show's newest season has ended, or something like that, and he promised us he would get me chicks and help me score." He ended his statement with his trademark laugh.
"Yeah!" Beavis said, laughing his own trademark laugh as well. "Me too!"
Butt-Head slapped Beavis again.
"Shut up, Beavis!" Butt-Head said. "You won't score. You're too much of a butt-monkey."
"Shut up, fartknocker!" Beavis said, laughing in his idiotic way again.
Just then, a third person entered the living room of Beavis and Butt-Head's house. This person is Zombie Hippie, the author of this fic. He's about five feet and nine inches tall, has brown hair that he used to wear long before getting it cut for the first time in a long time at the MCX at Quantico Marine Corps base in Stafford, Virginia. He has just turned twenty this past month, and is wearing a white t-shirt, blue jeans, and a black vest with the insignia of the football team of his favorite high school, Tumwater High School. The patch on the left breast side shows a bald eagle wearing a green shirt with the letter T on it, with the word T-BIRD written in gold above the eagle, and the word FOOTBALL below it, just below the eagle's talons. Because of his facial features, Zombie Hippie's mother has often said that he resembles actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt. (Author's Note: No, seriously, she said that! Awesome, I love Joseph Gordon-Levitt!)
"Okay guys." Zombie Hippie spoke. "I want to personally thank you for agreeing to be in this, despite the fact that it might suck. This is my first attempt at writing a humor script, and my first time writing in a while."
Zombie Hippie then turns to the audience. "And to those who are waiting for my other fanfics, such as The Future They Never Wanted and my new Karate Kid stories, well, don't worry, I haven't forgotten those."
"Those stories probably also suck." Butt-Head interjected, laughing at the guy who had promised them the possibility of sexual contact with a woman. "You're like, too much of a dork to be a good writer." He laughed after that.
"Yeah!" Beavis said, laughing in agreement.
Zombie Hippie fell backwards, anime-style, with one of his legs sticking up in the air, twitching. Recuperating, he got up and began to explain the idea of the fic to Beavis and Butt-Head, as well as the reading audience.
"All right, everyone." Zombie Hippie said. "This is a crossover fic of Pokemon, my favorite anime of all time, and Beavis and Butt-Head, one of my favorite comedy shows of all time. I've been kicking around this idea for the last six years, but since Beavis and Butt-Head came back to MTV this past October, I thought it was time to finally make this a reality. Well, as real as you can make a fanfic." He said, sweat-dropping.
"Uh, I have, like, a question or something." Butt-Head said, raising his hand and laughing.
"Okay, go ahead, Butt-Head." Zombie Hippie said.
Butt-Head laughed. "Ahead, uh, huh, huh, huh." He then remembered his question. "What the hell is a Pokemon?"
Zombie Hippie fell over anime style again, before getting up, and his face grew giant, just like a lot of anime characters when they get angry.
"IT'S THE SHOW YOU JUST SAW ON YOUR TV, YOU DUMBASS!" Zombie Hippie yelled. He then recuperated himself again, and said one thing. "Also, FYI, Beavis and Butt-Head, since you're both going to be crossing over into the Pokemon world, you're going to have to start using Pokemon terms whenever you speak. For example, you called Beavis a butt-monkey earlier, but in this story, you'll have to call him a butt-Mankey." He explained.
"So, we're like, crossing over with this TV show?" Beavis asked with a disgusted look on his face. "That sucks."
"Yeah, really." Butt-Head said, laughing. "That intro to that show sucked. We have, like, our own version of the intro we would like to show to the reading audience, or something." He finished with his trademark laugh again.
"All right, fine." Zombie Hippie said. "But just this once, you too. We don't want to piss off the Pokemon fans."
"Uh, okay." Butt-Head said, laughing. "Like, roll it, dude!" he shouted to the projector guy. "This is gonna be cool!"
Beavis and Butt-Head continued to laugh, while Zombie Hippie face palmed himself. "I'm surrounded by fucking idiots." He murmured. Then, despite being underage, he pulled out a bottle of Heineken beer with a bottle opener, opened it, and began to drown his sorrows.
The intro to the classic Pokemon cartoon played, with a few minor changes. First of all, the classic Pokemon theme song was gone, instead it was replaced with the main theme from the Beavis and Butt-Head movie, Beavis and Butt-Head Do America. Ash Ketchum had now become Beavis Ketchum, and Pikachu had just become Butt-chu. (Basically, think of Pikachu, yet he has Butt-Head's ugly face.)
Beavis Ketchum looked up while standing in the middle of the Indigo Plateau stadium, picking his nose and laughing his idiotic trademark laugh. He then caught Bulbasaur, and instead of fist-pumping, he did a heavy metal style headbang. Charmander got licked by Haunter, while Butt-chu laughed his ass off at that. Beavis Ketchum was then sitting with Butt-chu in the middle of the Celadon City gym, but instead of hugging like in the original intro, Beavis Ketchum instead smacked Butt-chu across the face, with Butt-chu sending a Thunderbolt attack in response. "Uh, huh, huh, that was cool." Butt-chu said, looking at Beavis Ketchum's charred body, twitching.
Beavis Ketchum then stood in between Misty and Brock. Beavis Ketchum is clearly aroused by Misty, as he does his trademark "Boing!" noise, while Misty looks at him in disgust, and Brock holds his head in shame. Butt-chu then ran under the random girl's skirt, but then quickly ran back to look under it, while going wide-eyed and laughing goofily at what he was looking at. The intro soon ended after that, with the title Beavis and Butt-Head instead of Pokemon, with the two being shown in circular picture frames, Beavis on the left, Butt-Head on the right, laughing, just like in the intro to the Beavis and Butt-Head TV show.
After Beavis and Butt-head's revised "intro", Zombie Hippie came out, clearly angry.
Butt-Head laughed. "That was a cool intro." He said.
"Yeah!" Beavis said, also laughing. "I bet we get a lot of money and chicks for that."
Zombie Hippie came out and yelled, "THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!" with his face once again growing giant anime style. He then jumped at Beavis and Butt-Head, and all three of the boys disappeared into an anime-style fight cloud, the sounds of Beavis and Butt-Head getting their asses kicked filling the air, and then the Beavis and Butt-Head outro heavy metal guitar theme played. (Author's Note: Just look up most Beavis and Butt-Head episodes, you'll find it played at the end of most episodes, especially the new ones.)
Well, that's the end of the first chapter, sort of my intro chapter to my Pokemon/Beavis and Butt-Head crossover. Hope you guys like it!