This will be a short AU set during TPP. The standard disclaimer applies: I don't own these characters; Daniel Handler does.
Chapter 1
"Are you sure that a harpoon gun ought to be given to a little girl?" Frank had asked, or maybe it was Ernest. As Violet rode up the elevator with the harpoon gun, the question kept nagging in her mind. She needed to give herself time to think, so she punched all the buttons of the elevator on the way to the rooftop sunbathing area.
No, she wasn't sure that a harpoon gun ought to be given to a little girl, especially to one so terrible as Carmelita Spats. Violet decided to do something about it. She tied back her hair with her ribbon and examined the device with an inventor's eye. Before she reached the rooftop she had figured out how to jam the mechanism so the gun would not fire.
She put the jammed harpoon gun into the hands of the evilly smiling brat just as the huge clock in the lobby began to chime,. It seemed to be telling her that despite the precaution she had just taken, everything was still going to go WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG, WRONG...