This is not a real acceptable thing in my clan. The Inuzuka's have always struggled, since we need to keep as many ninjas as ninja dogs. My father's motto is never to let a good dog go to waste. Well dogs will breed a lot if you don't spay or neuter them and you cannot spay or neuter a ninja dog, the same way you can't spay or neuter a show dog. Even as it is, Inuzuka's are hard to pair off, since we're rough and messy. My sisters would rather wrestle with our dogs than arrange flowers or learn how to wear a kimono properly.

Still, I've always known that I wasn't normal. It's probably actually my sisters' faults for terrorizing me as a little kid. I just have never had any sexual interest in anything with... Female anatomy. Akamaru is the only one who knew, because he knows everything about me. A ninja and his dog should have no secrets, that's another thing Dad always says.

But I didn't realize that I was actually gay until I was practicing my stealth training and I came across Choji and Shikamaru in the baths. Choji was complaining about how useless he was, and I was kind of feeling the same way. I had made a mistake and Akamaru had gotten sick and I was useless at taking care of him because I had slacked off during training. That was the reason I was even doing stealth training in the first place.

Anyway, Choji was feeling down, and Shikamaru didn't even look like he was listening. I mean, his head was back and his eyes were closed. It made me really mad, to be honest. But Choji kept talking about how hard a time his father was giving him. Then Shikamaru opened an eye and looked over at Choji and said, "Don't worry about it. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. The important thing is that you tell me, so when we're in the field together, I can help you out." He was kind of behind Choji from my point of view, though, so it seemed as if he was looking right past him, and saying it to me.

And then the most ridiculous thing happened. I get embarrassed just thinking about it. But, well... My heart skipped a beat. Can you believe it? It was like I was a little girl in love. I still turn red just thinking about what he said. I must've been red as a tomato at the time...

Shikamaru didn't see me, of course. Which was a good thing, because it meant my stealth training was a success, and because, like I said, I must've been as red as a tomato.

Well. I started having weird dreams after that. The type of dreams where, the next day, I couldn't look Shikamaru in the eye. Not that I saw him the next day, or really at all. We weren't close back then, and we were on different teams and all. But my Dad knew something fishy was up, cause I kept having to wash my sheets. He was proud of me though. He took me aside, just to tell me that. He had been worried cause I was already thirteen and it hadn't looked like the hormones had kicked in yet. At least, not from the state of my sheets. God. I felt guilty as hell when he asked me who the girl was, but he was so carried away by his pride that he ended up covering for me himself.

I hope to hell that I never have to have any conversation as embarrassing as that one.

So, to cover up the fact that it was a guy that I was... well... I guess that was where I made my first mistake. I got a girlfriend. I knew she liked me, cause I had overheard it during stealth training. Really, I had been trying to determine if her friend had confessed to Shikamaru yet, but she started saying all this stuff about how amazing I was, and I couldn't help but overhear. So I figured I might as well try to go out with her, cause she was cute and I thought that... Well, I thought I might change if I gave a girl a chance.

I brought her some flowers, and we hit it off, I suppose. I didn't really have the urge to do anything with her, besides maybe hold hands and go to festivals together. Even then, I would've rather been out with just Akamaru. But my dad looked so proud when my sis mentioned it at the table.

To put things in perspective, I started going out with her three weeks after I, well, fell in love, as utterly embarrassing as that is to say, with Shikamaru. A week later, after two or three dates, my parents knew. By the next month, though, we hadn't progressed much and she was getting real testy.

I know, I'm despicable. I brought her flowers every time I came to pick her up from her date, and I held her hand when we walked through the stalls. I paid for everything. I was a real gentleman. But really, it was for my father. And I knew it. And Akamaru knew it, too. That's why I left him at home every time, otherwise he would just growl at her and sulk the whole night.

Anyway, she got mad one night, after about a month or so of dating, and so I kissed her. I didn't really feel anything, but her face was as red as hell. So since she seemed to like it so much, I took to kissing her goodnight. Eventually she took to kissing me goodnight, and then whenever we met, and then we started making out. Well, she started it. But I certainly didn't stop it.

It was lucky that we got busy when we did, or I might've gone all the way with her. But because of overlapping missions, we didn't see each other for three months. I always brought flowers to her house when I got back from my missions, and she would always bring me a bento, but it was always that the other had just left for a mission. The next time I saw her was after a failed mission, where I got injured. She brought me the usual bento, and then rushed to my side when she heard I was in the hospital. Well, I was in no mood to be kissing or flirting or talking at all, and she left in tears. By the time I was off on my next mission, she had already fallen for Neji. Not that she was going to have any luck there, Tenten has always done a good job of keeping girls away from him. You see? I actually learn a lot during stealth training.

Anyway, the dreams had pretty much stopped because I had been training myself to exhaustion whenever I could, but I was very careful not to stumble upon Shikamaru whenever I was stealth training. I avoided him like the plague, and when I couldn't, I ignored his presence entirely. Then the training for the chunin exams started, and after we all passed the first test, our teams were always in town, training for the next test. That's when it got tricky, I suppose.