Disclaimer: own STVOY. I just play with the characters now and again.
Wenonah
Firstborn Daughter
Puzzled by the summons he'd received about a half hour ago from the Doctor, he entered Sickbay to find the EMH giving Crewman Marla Gilmore her annual medical; Asked to wait in the Doctor's office whilst he completed this task.
Soon Gilmore left and the EMH joined the male in command red, a few minutes later, yet the holo-medic seemed uneasy as he sat behind his desk.
"Doctor? Is there a reason you required my presence here?" he asked mildly.
"Yes! I...I'm sorry Commander."
"Doctor take a deep breath," he suggested softly. "Now count to five silently and then start at the beginning," he advised, watching as the medic did as he instructed – although they both knew it wasn't really necessary.
What was said next would stay with the human male for a long time, a very long time. The EMH expressed his concerns about the fact that what he'd been ordered to do was without either his consent or the Captain's knowledge.
"Security risk or so the Admiral said."
"In view of what happened with Teero, I suppose that's understandable," his tone of voice still echoing his shock at the news he'd been given.
"You'll be on compassionate leave for the next 15hrs. Quarters, Commander," the EMH ordered calmly, rousing Chakotay from his dazed state. He left Sickbay taking with him a PADD that contained all the data the Doctor had on the subject matter with him.
He was grateful that he to be safely absconded in his quarters some few minutes later, having not encountered anyone on the way either, as he didn't think he'd have been very coherent if he had. Taking a seat he carefully read the data within the PADD the EMH had given him, still not really taking it all in.
An hour later Seven of Nine contacted him asking him to report to Astrometrics.
"Commander," she said, acknowledging his entrance in her usual brisk manner. "Pathfinder will be controlling the link solely from their end and will terminate the link when complete. You may wish to establish a security protocol in this area," she informed him.
"Seven?"
"Admiral Paris has instructed me that your call is of a confidential nature. That is why Pathfinder is controlling the link," she said, standing hands clasped behind her back. She frowned a little worriedly at him. "Commander?" she questioned softly.
"I'm sure I'll be fine. Thank you, Seven," his tone and smile more confident than he felt just then. She nodded acceptance and walked briskly from the area. He breathed deeply set the security protocols in place and then opened the link.
"Admiral," he greeted the white-haired older Paris, his face serious.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
When Janeway had received the Doctor's report that her XO was now on compassionate leave for the next fifteen hours, she'd been stunned, yet she'd acknowledged the verbal report. Now 3hrs later she was getting worried; it was unlike Chakotay not to come and talk to her about things.
"That was before Teero happened!" she muttered bitterly, as she drank her favourite beverage in her Ready Room. "Computer location of Cmdr. Chakotay," she commanded her tone determined.
#Cmdr. Chakotay is in his quarters# the female voiced machine responded calmly. Calling Tuvok she asked him to meet her at that location immediately.
Janeway silently acknowledged Tuvok's presence outside Chakotay's quarters and then rang the door chime, only silence greeted them. She tried again but still no reply. Using his security override the door opened and they both stepped inside the be-darkened area together. Draped over the back of a chair was the man's uniform jacket his com-badge still attached glinting in the muted lighting.
"I can order a search," Tuvok suggested quietly. "There are not that many places a person can hide on a ship of this size."
"True, Tuvok. Unless they do not want to be found," she said. "Try the Sweet spot first. If he isn't there, then do a thorough search," she said determinedly. The Vulcan nodded his head once and stepped out of the room.
"Where are you, Chakotay?" she whispered worriedly her fingers playing with his com-badge in a way she often did her own – eliciting a 'red alert' stance from her First Officer. Sighing she too left.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
When B'Elanna Torres heard the news that Chakotay was missing – although he hadn't actually left the ship – she became very concerned and shared those worries with her husband, Tom Paris.
"I'm sure he'll turn up, B'Elanna. Voyager is a small ship. You can't hide away forever," his tone hiding his own fears and worries.
"You're a terrible liar – Thomas Paris!"
"What can I say..." he paused and then put his arms around her holding her as close as her medical condition would allow. "Tuvok has organised a deck-by-deck search. He can't be far," he said kissing her forehead tenderly.
"Unless he doesn't want to be found," unknowingly echoing words their Captain had uttered an hour earlier. Tom decided not to say anything, best not to go down that road, yet.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
It was the early hours ship's morning time and Neelix saw no reason to change his daily routine, despite the fact that Chakotay was still officially listed as missing and that in spite of an intensive search which had finally been called off late last night.
Thus he entered his domain and started to get breakfast ready for a worried crew. It was when he asked the computer to turn up the lights in the main mess area that the missing person came to light – huddled in the corner near the viewports.
"Commander!" he responded startled.
"I'd rather you didn't call anyone just now, please," he said firmly; it was the last word that had the alien Chef nodding his head.
"Hungry?" he asked instead, delighted when Chakotay smiled. "Mushroom soup?" watching that smile turn into a boyish grin. "Coming right up! Don't run away now!"
"As if!" he said softly, hearing his stomach growl in empty protest. He ate the warm nourishing thick soup carefully; fully aware that Neelix would call Janeway at the first discreet moment. Thus once he'd finished he vanished again leaving both Neelix and the newly arrived Janeway staring at an empty corner. The only sign that he'd been there was the used bowl and spoon sitting on the table. The Mess Hall filled with worried and hungry people wanting to be fed, before doing their duty shifts.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"Good morning, Captain!" said a voice she and the rest Alpha shift weren't expecting, yet it was one she'd grown accustomed to hearing over their long journey of almost seven years.
Startled she walked slowly towards him. "Night shift reported a calm and trouble free time," he told her. His voice was a little more subdued than normal, but it was still steady, solid and confident. He also appeared unruffled by the general startled reaction of the bridge crew to his presence there in the command centre.
"Trouble free? Except for your disappearance," Paris muttered to himself taking over the Conn from his equally disturbed night shift colleague.
"Thank you, Commander," she finally said. Automatically taking the PADD, he handed to her, and then she sat down in her chair. There were so many questions and thoughts going through her mind at that moment, she wasn't sure if he was still speaking or not.
'Where had he been? Why had he hidden? What had he been thinking or doing?' these and others vied for her attention and yet she knew there was only one person who could answer them; the man sitting silently beside her. Taking a quick sideways glance at him, just to check that he was there and hadn't done a vanishing trick; she sighed, yes he was sitting there calm, solid and dependable as usual. That last thought caused a soft smile to grace her features.
"I shall be in my Ready Room, Commander. You have the Bridge," she said confidently, getting to her feet she left the bridge.
Chakotay only looked up his dark eyes followed her departing petite figure and then he returned his gaze to the central console once the door closed behind her.
At the Conn Paris was softly counting and yet he'd passed twenty when he realised Chakotay hadn't moved to follow the Captain as he usually did. Thus he shifted in his seat to frown puzzled at the Commander.
"Problem, Mister Paris?" he asked mildly.
"No, Sir," he replied, puzzled by the soft rebuke, and resumed his former position.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
In her Ready Room, Janeway too was very concerned by the fact that her XO hadn't followed her after the usual five minutes or less had elapsed.
"What is he playing at?" she wondered out loud. "Computer coffee, black, hot," she ordered sharply. Once she'd taken a sip or two, which calmed her, she, was rapidly coming to the conclusion that Chakotay wasn't going to come to her of his own accord, thus she called him via the comm.
"Enter!" she said in response to his ringing the door buzzer. "Chakotay!" she greeted warmly. "Some tea?" Janeway invited, but he stayed firmly in place between the door and her desk. Turning from the replicator, she spoke his name in a questioning manner.
"Did you want to see me to discuss ship matters?" he asked so pointedly, that she stared at him in shocked surprised, for a moment or two and then her anger rose.
"You deliberately disappear for the last twelve hours and then turn up on the Bridge, for this mornings duty shift as if nothing had happened. What is wrong, Commander?" using his rank – she realised belatedly – was the wrong thing to say. His expressive face closed to her.
"Permission to be dismissed," he said tightly. Janeway waved a hand in a manner that told him he could leave her presence; thus he exited via the corridor door rather than return to the bridge.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
During the middle lunch time session, Chakotay arrived in the Mess Hall for a bite to eat. The only person who felt brave enough to approach him was Lt. Ayala.
"Chakotay?" he questioned making as if to join the man at his table.
"Don't Ayala. The subject is currently off limits even to the Captain."
"I see; so you'll not be discussing it with me!" he said finishing the thought and remained standing. "Just a side note; There's a very pregnant 'bull' running loose!" That statement caused the seated male to smile.
"Noted, Lieutenant!" he said and returned his attention to the PADD he'd been reading; effectively halting any other conversation with him. Ayala quietly stalled others from talking to Chakotay, suggesting that they leave him alone for the time being.
A little while later the 'bull' came charging in her husband trailing after her.
"B'Elanna!" Paris shouted, sounding out of breath, hoping that his voice would stop her mad dash, yet it was another's voice instead.
"Lieutenants!" his voice commanding everyone's attention, that the whole area became very quiet. Tom and his wife stood next to the main food counter staring at him as he walked towards them. Torres angry glare was mainly directed at Tom, who'd finally managed to halt her head long barge to Chakotay's position. "Questions to me about the last twelve hours are strictly off limits to everyone. Is that understood?" his tone hard. All nodded, but he was only looking at the CEO and Conn officer.
"Yes, Sir," Tom said quietly. Torres nodded reluctantly, her eyes never leaving his figure as he walked out of the Mess Hall, which then breathed relieved.
"He said something similar to Ayala as regards the Captain too," Neelix said his expression worried. The three friends shared worried looks, yet there wasn't much they could do without the right information.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Over the next few days Chakotay went about his duties as normal. When Q paid a visit with his son, he was courteous and yet something wasn't really right between the command team. When both Q's left reasonably happy, everyone hoped things would settle back into a normal routine, but it didn't.
Although Chakotay spoke with the crew in general and some of his closer friends, there was one person he appeared to be avoiding as much as possible – Kathryn Janeway.
"It's as if he's doing a me; brooding," she noted quietly to Tuvok as they partook of some tea in his quarters.
"Indeed," he agreed softly. "As he is you, perhaps you will have to be him. Therefore what would the Commander do?" he said knowing she'd come to him for advice.
"I don't think it's going to be that simple," she said smiling amused at his reasoning.
"Perhaps!" he conceded. "You will need to start somewhere," he replied calmly, whilst sipping his tea grateful that she'd come. "The commander was on compassionate leave for fifteen hours," he reminded her, lifting an eyebrow.
"So he was," she murmured wondering if she could question their Chief Medic about the matter. Thus as soon as her late duty shift was over she paid the Doctor a visit in his office.
"CAPTAIN! You of all people should know I can not disclose that sort of information!" he told her sharply, startled that she would even contemplate – let alone ask – that sort of question.
"Doctor all I asked is why compassionate leave?" her tone reasonable.
"I know what you asked, Captain. And I cannot tell you. Not just because of doctor – patient confidentiality, but because I do not have all the facts or the Commander's expressed consent," he said getting to his feet and walking away from her. "Computer deactivate the EMH," he added quickly as she was about to open her mouth to countermand him.
Kathryn Janeway swore softly, for he had in effect walked out on her. Although she could have ordered the computer to reactivate him, the holo-medic's last expression had informed her she'd have been wasting her time and breath.
"I'll just have to look elsewhere!" she muttered to herself and stormed out of Sickbay.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
What Janeway didn't know was that the EMH had transferred to holodeck #2 where the man himself was sparring in the boxing ring. The Doctor watched quietly as the trainer yelled at the pair in the ring.
"You're dropping your guard to much. That's better, keep him on his toes," he said. Boothby moved round the outside of the ring's perimeter, watching and offering advice or encouragement as the pair sparred. "That's enough!" he yelled, his tone halting both combatants. Chest heaving and sweating profusely, the human combatant noted the EMH's presence and softly ordered both holo-characters to be removed.
The Doctor helped him to remove his boxing gloves and handed over a towel.
"She's digging," he said, having observed the medic's pensive expression.
"Yes, came and asked me outright. She knows the rules on that subject," sounding hurt. "Which I reminded her of."
Chakotay sighed, whilst using the towel to wipe his face and neck. "Let her dig," he advised quietly and walked off to the programs shower area. The EMH watched him go frowning and then returned to his place within the computer again.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The Vulcan watched discreetly from his Tactical station as the command team sat on the bridge in their usual places the next morning. Janeway was trying to draw Chakotay into a conversation, but the man refused to play along. In the end she left frustrated into her Ready Room and again he did not follow her, nor did he receive a summons to do so. Paris exchanged a quick glance over at his friend, Harry Kim who was frowning in worried concern. Yet there was really nothing any of them could conceivably do, except wait it out. At least this time Chakotay let Paris' shifting go unchallenged as the man knew it was his refusal to tell the Captain what was wrong – if anything. It was this that was the cause of the underlying tension on the bridge – if not the entire ship. The Vulcan could only wait to see if they would sort out their problem soon, before things got out of hand.
Seven was doing some routine maintenance checks in Astrometrics when she came across something unusual and thus decided to give Janeway a call.
"What is it, Seven?" she demanded, entering the area briskly. "I'm trying to deal with an annoying problem called – Chakotay."
"But you're not!" the blonde female said.
"I beg your pardon!"
"Cmdr. Chakotay appears to be doing a you, in not talking and just going about his usual duties. Therefore you are trying to be him, but you're not."
"That's a fair explanation of the situation, except for the latter part."
"I disagree. Cmdr. Chakotay would wait patiently for the right time. You on the other hand are asking questions or digging – I believe Mr. Paris called it, and you are. Thus I might have something that will interest you," the emphasis on the 'you' wasn't lost on Janeway. She joined Seven in viewing the main holo-screen image.
"What are these?" she asked.
"The transmission logs to and from Pathfinder."
"There appears to be some missing data. Have you checked the back-up logs?" looking as if to find them herself.
"These are the back-up logs," Seven informed her calmly.
"Really! Have they been tampered with?"
"Negative. The transmissions were never recorded."
"That's impossible surely?"
"Not necessarily. If the right code is embedded into the signal, then the computer would not record the data or transmission," she informed the stunned Janeway.
"But surely you would have noticed that at the time and corrected it," she said frowning at the screen's data, puzzled.
"If I had been here, yes," she admitted. "I have checked the date. It was at the time Admiral Paris informed me that Pathfinder would be controlling the transmission, thus my presence was not required."
"Why?" she asked, deep in thought.
"He said the call was confidential in nature."
"Who was he talking to?" she asked carefully as if she knew the answer.
"Cmdr. Chakotay."
Janeway stared at the screen in dazed silence. "His compassionate leave started before this call came through," she noted puzzled by this turn of events.
"So I believe!" Seven acknowledged.
"And that other gap?" pointing out an earlier transmission blank.
"I do not know. It could be something to do with an incoming report. I cannot say for sure," she admitted.
"I suppose we'll have to wait until the next round of transmissions to question Admiral Paris himself," sighing in frustration. "This new twist in this affair has left me wanting to find out more, now!" Kathryn Janeway said.
"Perhaps that is why he encoded the transmission; he knew you'd go digging!" Seven summarized. Janeway grinned and then left for the bridge and her brooding First Officer.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Unfortunately for Janeway she had some more pressing matters to deal with; first she and the crew had to uphold the EMH's rights of self expression and have full legal jurisdiction over his writings, and then Admiral Hayes gave her new orders, her first since being lost in the Delta Quadrant, to find the Friendship One probe. The senseless death of Joe Carey was a bitter pill to swallow, thus she almost forgot about the mystery transmissions between Paris senior and Chakotay – almost.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
He was reading the PADD he had in his hand for what seemed – to Janeway – the umpteenth time, she summarized and then he smiled. It was such a warm and affectionate smile that at first she thought it was directed to her, but his dark eyes were firmly fixed on the PADD's reading screen.
"Good news?" she asked lightly, startling him.
"Captain?" he questioned turning the PADD down onto his lap away from her sight.
"Your data. Good news?" she asked indicating the PADD.
"This? Maybe!" he responded cryptically, displaying that warm smile again, leaving Janeway feeling she was missing something. He excused himself saying he had reports to complete and left the bridge taking that PADD with him. Tom Paris exchanged a puzzled look with her.
Within the relative safety of his office he read the PADD's data yet again, noting carefully all the information that Admiral Owen Paris had sent via Pathfinder. Chakotay closed his eyes against the inner pain that came, yet he knew what was done, was done, he needed to concentrate on dealing with the consequences.
"Wenonah," he whispered softly that warm affectionate smile graced his face again; then he set to writing a letter.
A little while later Kathryn Janeway arrived at his office, he welcomed her in, yet asked her to wait whilst he completed next week's duty rosters. Five minutes later Ayala entered with security's reports, he took away with him the finished duty rosters for Tuvok's department and approval.
Janeway was about to ask a question when the door buzzer sounded again and he called 'Enter'. Lt. Alan Sims strode in and demanded to know where the Commander had put a certain archived file, unaware of the Captain's presence until she cleared her throat.
"Er...sorry, Captain. I...er... did not see you there, Ma'am!" he stuttered nervously. Chakotay gallantly managed to keep a straight face, whilst she reassured the archive chief.
A full twenty minutes had passed since she'd come into the First Officer's office and still she hadn't managed to speak to him about what troubled her over his behaviour.
The man himself though was softly amused as he watched her frustration grow at the interruptions.
"This is impossible!" she said sharply after the latest – that being Neelix asking about a minor crew matter. "Do I need to make an appointment to see you?" she asked exasperated.
"You are seeing me," he commented mildly.
"I meant to talk to you in private," glaring at him, standing hands on hips and really annoyed.
"You are talking to me in private," he said quietly, sitting back into his chair behind his desk.
=/\=Doctor to Cmdr. Chakotay=/\=
"Chakotay here. Give me an hour and I'll join you in Sickbay."
=/\=Acknowledged, Commander. Doctor out=/\=
"Now what did you want to talk to me about?" he asked. Janeway stared at him flabbergasted. He stood ordered two coffees at the small replicator and quietly offered her the black one, indicating they sit on the sofa under the viewports. She took several sips of the hot black brew to calm her nerves and gather her thoughts as she sat beside him; taking a deep breath she spoke:
"What is going on between you and Admiral Paris?" she asked, looking at him her expression seemed to demand a straight and direct answer from him.
"Nothing, Kathryn," his voice neutral.
"Oh don't give me that, Chakotay. Admiral Paris contacts you with an embedded code in the transmission, which means nothing is recorded even in the back-up logs. You also vanish for twelve hours whilst on compassionate leave and you've been brooding too. There must be something going on," she said, mentally ticking off all the events surrounding her XO; watching him for any reaction, but there is nothing really discernable. "Talk to me, Chakotay," her tone demanding a response.
"You're like a dog with a bone, just can't leave it alone can you," he noted anger creeping into his voice at her probing and pushing. He got to his feet and returned to his seat behind his desk, effectively ignoring her. "I'm sorry, Kathryn. There's nothing to discuss," his tone and facial expression giving nothing away. Angry at his refusal to give her answers to her questions, she stormed out, almost falling over Lt. Torres in the process.
"What's with the Captain?" she asked puzzled.
"I'm not playing her game."
"I see. Your disappearance!" holding out her report PADD's to him.
"That and a few other things," he admitted, taking the PADD's and putting them down.
"Do you want to tell me?"
"What? And have you tell Kathryn?" he said with a teasing grin. "Not for the moment, B'Elanna," he added seriously.
"If at all?" she queried smiling sadly with him. "You know she'll keep digging."
"Yeah! I know and she can dig."
"You really aren't going to tell her, are you?" sounding worried. Chakotay came round his desk and held the pregnant woman close to him in an embrace of warmth, comfort and reassurance.
"B'Elanna, Teero did a lot of damage that is not always apparent," he sighed feeling her arms around his waist. "And to be frank I'm tired of being the one who has to start mending broken bridges every time. My compassionate leave has no direct links with that Bajoran; I'm just not taking that risk for now," he explained, giving her a gentle squeeze. He smiled warmly as he felt movement within her swollen abdomen. "Something tells me your little lady is going to be as fiery tempered as her mother."
"Maybe. I'll be very glad when she's out, so I can get some decent sleep," her tone sour yet feeling secure within the strong circle of his arms. He kissed her forehead tenderly and then let her go. She returned his embraced and smiled at him.
"See you at lunch," she told him at the door.
"Aye, Chief!" he replied almost standing to attention with a big grin on his face and then she was gone. Chakotay stood there contemplating the stars in silent thought as they whizzed by at warp speed and then he left for Sickbay.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
"You're early, Commander," the EMH said by way of greeting.
"The digger wasn't patient."
"Ah! Janeway!" he said. "You annual medical is due," he added getting his trolley organised.
"You did that last week after Friendship One."
"I did?" puzzled, going to his medical records file. "You're right I did!" still puzzled having found the necessary data.
"Maybe it is you who requires a medical!" he smiled, tapping his com-badge he ordered Seven of Nine to report to Sickbay.
"Usually Lt. Torres is my medic!"
"I know, Doctor, but her current medical condition does rather limit her capabilities," he replied. Seven soon arrived and listened as Cmdr. Chakotay outlined the problem; thus they both set to work to give the EMH a complete medical check. What they discovered worried the holographic medic that he thought it prudent to go over all his medic files of the crew, especially since the Teero Affair. Seven said she would stay and assist him in that endeavour as Chakotay had a lunch date with the Chief.
"Will you inform her about my problem?" frowning concerned.
"Not for now, Doctor. I think we'd best keep this to ourselves. I don't want B'Elanna over reacting, especially as this could have been done by one of her staff."
"An interesting assumption. In her current state is she likely to over react?" Seven asked mildly. Chakotay only grinned whilst the EMH said.
"That's an understatement!"
"I'll compile a full report later for you, Commander," Seven informed him, as he left.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
His lunch date with Torres and Paris had gone reasonably well, although he'd known both were bursting with questions over his recent behaviour, he had managed to steer the conversation away from that potential minefield.
Chakotay wondered just how much longer he could safely keep things under wraps. All this cloak and dagger stuff was not his scene; he'd never even liked keeping his crew in the dark whilst in the Maquis either, yet he'd known it had been for their benefit; but this was different. He sat cross-legged on the floor of his quarters writing his next letter to Wenonah, praying silently that he could be open about everything soon.
Having completed his letter and sealed it ready for the next transmission with Pathfinder, he was surprised to hear his door chime sound.
"Enter?" puzzled as to who would be calling.
"Commander; Might I have a word?" enquired his visitor.
"Take a seat," he invited quietly, wondering as to the nature of the Vulcan's visit.
"You can inform me that this is not my jurisdiction; but there appears to be a problem between you and the Captain," he said calmly. "I'd like to offer my services to resolve the issue," Tuvok added, having seated himself down to face the XO.
"That's a kind offer, Tuvok," Chakotay responded carefully, keeping his face as neutral as the Vulcan's. "There isn't really a problem between her and I," holding up his hand to stall the Vulcan, who merely lifted an eyebrow questioningly. "Stubbornness isn't the exclusive right of one Kathryn Janeway."
"I see," he mused. "You are refusing to inform her of what she demands to know."
"I think that about sums it up; Yes Tuvok."
"Hmm!" he stood. "Then I will leave you to deal with the issue as you see fit," he said, moving with his usual grace towards the door.
"Thanks, Tuvok," Chakotay said honestly, seeing the Vulcan to the door. Dark eyes calmly assessed the human male; he then inclined his head once and exited. He leaned against the solid bulkhead and sighed relieved. Keeping secrets was not easy especially with this family known as Voyager; at least he now knew Tuvok would not assist Janeway either directly or indirectly. Ayala had also put the word out not to help the Captain dig.