Hi everyone! So basically there will be no consistent updating of this collection because you cannot force poetry, or at least, I can't, so I will write my poems when I get inspiration. But please send in some ideas if you have any, and I will keep them in the back of my mind! This first poem is about how Celaena/Aelin felt during her time in Endovier, because why not start by breaking all of our hearts? Enjoy!
Mr. Regret
He acts as my shadow, always there,
lurking in the dark until I break
Following me around, always silent,
showing up in every swing of my pickaxe
Sometimes he wraps his dark hands around my mind,
showing me Sam, the boy who was better than us all
Other times he places those hands on my heart
Makes it so heavy that I turn the pickaxe to myself
No. I don't deserve the oblivion that would follow
Weighing me down day and night,
Constantly pulling at me. Your fault
When the overseer yells at me not to stop,
That's him, perched on my tools, making them harder to pick up
At night, he covers my eyes with his hands,
Making me see only oppressive darkness. Your fault
Always reaching into the folds of his grey cloak,
Pulling out another memory,
One more thing I can't forget, and can't fix.
Theres Ansel, sneering at me, Mikhail dead next to her
The memories plaque me day and night as he laughs at me
He is always there, never leaving or giving me a break
Good
Your fault
Even when he slips into my dreams,
Changing them into nightmares with too much ease
Even when he reminds me how naive I was,
How clueless and rude.
That night when he woke me up,
In the middle of the night,
And brought all of the memories down on me
That night I broke and ran
That night that I was stopped and not granted the mercy of death
he looked like he had his own silent shadow,
That was when I knew something was off,
And you were right.
That night when I met his dark friend,
His friend whose skin was blue as cornflowers,
Who wore a matching black cloak,
His friend Mr. Depression.
Then they both slinked around in the shadows,
Showing me Sam's smiling face that will never smile again
Showing me Sam's eyes. His eyes that are gone
Licking my tears as they fell
My fault. My fault. My fault
They were always together,
Always closing my eyes to the light
And I would wake up to their wickedly sneering faces,
No longer devoid of feeling
Every corner I turned, every bit of salt I mined, I ended up staring,
Staring right into their smoke colored eyes,
Their eyes that would sometimes shift to Sam's
Or Yrene's
Or Ansel's
Or Mikhail's
Or countless others, even as the memory of them faded
I began relishing those moments, when I would remember their colors
And once I started liking those eyes,
Then they would become nothing, gone
Just like Sam's
I remembered that night.
That night when regret became half of a whole.