Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
A/N: My first Death Note fanfiction. Almost completely rewritten, because the last one I posted was incredibly atrocious…
The basic setting of this story is that it's a time-loop fic. The OC (mine!) is reliving the day of L's death over and over again. The beginning of this story takes place during the last time she does so. Enjoy!
November 5, 2004. 3:20 a.m.
Ring. Ring.
Little by little, my eyes opened slowly, dimly registering the pale grey sunlight filtering through the curtains across from me.
Ring. Ring.
Rolling over onto my side, I slowly reached over to the small digital alarm clock sitting on the nightstand, switching it off. Silence filled the room, abruptly thick and smothering.
So this is how it feels, I thought, waking up knowing that today is the day you will die.
12:14 p.m.
"Kurazaki-san, do you mind helping me out with these papers? Ryuuzaki told me to sort them out, but the thing is…"
It was raining again. The same, monotonous beat of water against the glass of the building, like hundreds of hands, begging for entrance. I had that rhythm memorized. And yet today, it was if I were listening to something I had never heard, nor seen, nor felt before—I counted each silver drop as it caught the weak light.
"Kurazaki-san…?"
It seemed only a few days ago that I had been screaming, craving for a new sky. But today, everything was different. Today, the world was reborn in my eyes.
"Ariko!"
I jolted in my seat and twisted around to see the rest of the Kira Task Force, minus the one I wanted to see the most, staring at me with raised brows. I blinked. "Huh?"
"Um… help me with this?" Sheepishly, Matsuda held up a stack of files. "Sorry if I disturbed you…"
"It's fine." Getting up from my seat on one of the long couches near the window, I moved over to where Matsuda was sitting, looking thoroughly flustered as he appraised the thick piles of paperwork in front of him. "So, erm… what are we supposed to do?"
"They're lists of phone calls made by Higuchi a few days prior to his death. You're meant to arrange them by the name of the contact, and then by the date and time at which the calls were made." Light's voice was mellifluous as always, coming from his seat at one of the computers to my left.
"Thanks, Yagami-kun," I murmured, running my hands over the long lists of fine black print that spanned the length of one of the pages. Paperwork, of all things… perhaps this would be the one thing I wouldn't miss…
" 'Yagami-kun' ?" I looked back at Light. "Why so formal now, Riko-san?"
I'd forgotten. "Ah, sorry, Light-kun. I guess I'm still out of it." I gave what I hoped was a convincing yawn and turned back to the files.
I pretended I didn't feel his eyes on the back of my head.
Some time and many caller IDs later, I glanced at my watch.
"Well, I think I'm going to take a break now," I said to Matsuda, standing up. "I feel like I'm going to pass out if I have to look at another one of these…"
"Where are you going?" he asked, a slight frown coming between his thick brows as he continued examining a particularly messy looking list.
"Not far. Maybe get some fresh air, on the roof."
From across the room, Aizawa frowned in distaste. "Are you crazy? It's pouring out there!"
"Yeah, I know." I gave a small wave to the others in the room and left, closing the door shut behind me. As I walked, the sounds of my sneakered feet made dull plodding noises on the hard floor and almost unaware of what I was doing, I pushed each step harder into the ground.
Each hard thud felt strangely satisfying; soon, I found myself positively stomping up the stairs. As always, my actions put my feelings into the open in a way my words never could; each pounding step seemed to declare: Here! Here I am. I existed, I exist and once upon a time, I trampled through this building because I had every right to be here. You cannot erase me.
But as I neared the door that led to the rooftop, my footsteps stopped as I stopped. I put one hand on the cold, metal handle and pushed it open.
There he was.
Standing against the rain, face upturned towards the iron sky above, eyes beholding their usual expression of wide eyed fascination. The rain was beating heavily against him, but he didn't seem to notice, or care, and he just stood there, barefoot, as he was pummeled by the wind and the rain.
I watched him for a second, and faltered.
As I stared at him, L cocked his head minutely in my direction, watching me out of the corning of one deep black eye. Questioning.
A faint smile coming to my face, I jogged over to him, leaving my sheltered position and running out into the rain. The cold was like a slap.
"A little b-birdie told me you would be up here," I said through chattering teeth, grinning despite myself. I felt like an idiot, standing here in front of him, absolutely soaked to the skin. At least L did this with dignity. "I h-have to say, I don't really c-care for your taste in w-weather."
He didn't reply and the grin slowly slid off my face as if it were water. Nervousness washed through me like a flood—had I ever been this informal around him before now? In all my excitement, I had forgotten that he most likely wouldn't have the same reaction to me as yesterday, or even the day before. Chagrin quickly replaced my worry.
"I find it peaceful." Relief made my stomach do funny flips at his low, quiet reply.
"I'll have to disagree," I said as lightning flashed across the sky, quickly followed by the raging growl of thunder. I shivered and I saw L's pale lips quirk upwards slightly.
"Why is that, do you think?" He asked me the question suddenly and I fell silent, watching him. "Why does something as trivial as—rain—inspire such emotions in humans? How is it that they are so affected by such a simple outcome as precipitation in the water cycle?"
It took me a minute to process what he just said.
"You talk like you aren't, Ryuuzaki," I said uncomfortably. "Human, I mean."
He only stared at me with heavily ringed eyes, black as coal.
"We're all human, Ryuuzaki," I said quietly. "Even the best of us. We can't help but be affected by—" I waved a hand around at the bleak surroundings, "—this. I guess you could say we're naturally sentimental creatures."
Would this be the last time I would ever feel the rain on my face?
I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from shaking too badly. L watched me.
"Are you cold?" he asked me. I shook my head. "You should go back inside, anyway."
"I'd rather not," I said, thinking of Light. "Besides, you aren't going, so why should I?"
L met my eyes and he shuffled, slow steps towards me. "I could hear you coming up the stairs," he said with a hint of a smile. I flushed. "Were you angry about something?"
"No… not anymore, at least." I looked out at the uneven, sprawling horizon, heavily blurred by the grey rain. "You know, to be honest Ryuuzaki… right now… I'm happier than I'd ever been in my entire life." I sighed. "What does that say about my life, then…"
"Riko-san, why are you here?"
I stopped. "What?"
His eyes were sharp now, calculating under his mess of dripping hair. "Why are you here?" he repeated.
"What—on the roof?" I looked back, confused. "Well, I thought—"
"No. Here. As part of the Task Force." I blinked and yet he continued to stare at me with hard eyes. "Your innocence has already been proved by Higuchi's death. You do not have any ties with family, as Light does, who are part of the team. Nor are you still under suspicion, as with Misa Amane. You are free to leave."
"Do you want me to go, L?" I asked him quietly. " Do you want me to leave?"
I never thought the term 'broken heart' as something literal. But it did hurt. Even as I angrily brushed away the stinging moisture in my eyes, it hurt.
"Then you should be incredibly happy, L! You should celebrate! Because you'll be getting your wish soon, won't you?" My voice had risen to almost a shout though it was still largely drowned out by the howling of the wind. "No more Ariko Kurazaki, tagging along! No more dead weight! Wouldn't that be pleasant for everyone?"
Lightning flashed, turning everything black and white for an instant; thunder roared like a beast. And L continued to look at me, with no discernable expression on his impassive face.
"We should go back inside." It was amazing how his deep, soft voice could still be heard above all the racket, as clearly as if he were standing next to me. L inclined his head towards me lazily. "You'll catch a cold."
Without waiting for a reply he turned around and began to steadily make his way back to the roof entrance I'd left open, hands in the back pockets of his faded, blue jeans and his usual slouch in place.
I stared at his retreating figure for a moment in disbelief before I followed him.
3:04 p.m.
Water seemed to pour ceaselessly from my hair unto the cold stone steps that I sat on—I guess this was one of the disadvantages of letting it grow. Absentmindedly I ruffled it with the towel Ryuuzaki had handed to me earlier, but it didn't really make a difference; the towel came away as soaked as if it had been out in the rain also.
What's the point, then?
Slowly, the hand holding the towel lowered down, resting quietly on the floor by my side. In silence I remained, staring at the rough denim covering my knees as I contemplated the end.
"Well, that was certainly an unwise expedition outdoors."
I raised my head at the sound of L's voice behind me. "Yeah. You're right."
Would it hurt? I wondered. Would it hurt, very much to die?
I heard the soft thuds of Ryuuzaki's bare feet against the floor approaching and I let my head tilt upwards to look at him. Had the situation not been as it was I would've chuckled at the sight he presented—with the fluffy yellow towel dangling on his head he looked like a nun, or a saint, but then again we both knew he was everything but.
He sat down next to me, for once not taking up his usual crouch. I didn't look at him. How could I, after what I had said…
I raised the hand that held the towel half hearted up to my hair once more but the glowing green numbers of the digital watched strapped to my wrist caught my eye. As I read the time, it felt like ice pounded through my veins instead of blood; it was nearly over.
Everything's moving by so quickly. It's so close, already.
What was I doing then? I didn't have time to be embarrassed, not anymore.
"L…"
He stirred beside me; his dark ringed eyes found mine. "Yes?" he asked quietly.
'What's your favorite color?'
L actually blinked at the question, though it was the only sign of surprise at the question he showed, if he felt any. "I never really thought about it, but I suppose..." L's eyes drifted upward thoughtfully and his thumb found its way to the corner of his mouth. "...blue is nice."
I closed my eyes, furiously memorizing his words. "Ever...ever owned a pet?"
"Ah...a fish, once. But it died."
"How?"
I felt L pause and I opened my eyes. His face was so close to mine, our heads were nearly touching.
"I was only five at the time, so I didn't know better..." I almost snorted at that; I was fairly certain that no matter what age L was, he would still be able to outsmart me any day, "But I was under the impression that if something stayed too long underwater, it would drown. So..."
A wry grin wormed its way to my face; I thought I knew where this was going. "Heh... You mean to say you took it out, Ryuuzaki?"
L's face was solemn as he responded. "It was very unfortunate."
"Hah...I can tell." I racked my brain for another question, something that wasn't related to his identity as L so that he could answer. L watched me. "Alright...what's your favorite season?"
"Spring."
"Favourite snack?"
"Strawberry shortcake."
"Hobbies?"
I could swear that was a smirk I saw on his face. "Capoeira."
I chuckled weakly. "Right, of course."
There was a short period of silence in which I tried to commit all I'd heard and seen to memory, engraving it into my mind so I wouldn't forget in the last few minutes of life I had left—his expression, the sound of his voice, the deep dark wells of his eyes...
"These questions..."
My eyes, which had closed of their own accord, flew open at his words.
"What are they?"
I shook my head slowly. "Just...some things I've always wanted to know about you. Is that so bad?"
"No...but it's not fair."
My eyebrows quirked upwards in confusion. "No?"
L steadily held my gaze. "You haven't let me ask any questions."
"Oh..."
L noticed my discomfort. "It's only one." he reassured me quietly.
"Okay. Shoot."
"What did you mean," he said, not looking at me, "when you said that I'd be getting my wish soon?"
My words from the roof. He'd remembered… "Nothing much," I lied. "Just that… well, you're right, Ryuuzaki. As always. You—the Task Force, I mean—don't need me around anymore. Now that I'm not a suspect, I should probably get going… get off your back, y'know…"
"That wasn't how I intended for you to take it," L interrupted me softly. "I wanted to know why you stayed. Was it just because of your desire to capture Kira? Or was it something… else that made you want to stay?"
He knows. He knows what I…how I feel…
As his eyes bored into mine I couldn't look away. He knew, he must have known or else he wouldn't be asking me that question—I loved him. I loved this strange, pale man in front of me, this wannabe panda… he had realized in a split second what it had taken me endless, agonizing days to comprehend…but how? How could he? Had I ever displayed something besides disgust at the detective before today?
It took me a second to realize that L had begun speaking again.
"I understand if you wish to leave, of course," he said quietly. "I will not stop you. But if you do choose to stay…"
"It's not my choice, L!" I shouted at him suddenly; the hall echoed my voice so that I was surrounded with a chorus of anger. It's not my choice…it's not my choice…
All of a sudden the fear that I had thought I had overcome swept through me like a flood; dizzy, I put my head between my knees and took in sharp, gasping breaths. My skin was glazed with a thin sheen of clammy sweat. It did not matter now that L was watching me, all that filled my mind was the endless, incessant thought: I am going to die.
I groaned into my arms. The trembling had spread from my hands to my entire body, and I wrapped my arms around my knees to suppress it. It's too soon, it's too soon…! I don't want to die, please, don't make me…
I flinched at an unexpectedly warm touch at the small of my back and I raised my head disbelievingly.
"It's alright." L murmured very close to me, his hand rubbing small, comforting circles on my back. "Everything's alright, it's fine…"
This had to be one of the exceptionally rare times L was wrong.
"It's okay…"
Yet his voice comforted me, calmed me. The shaking slowly began to subside and I was still once more under his feather-light touch. My mind cleared; I remembered what I had to do. But still…
Just a few more minutes, though… just a little more time with him was all I really wanted now… was that so bad?
"Don't answer it." I whispered.
L's faint eyebrows drew upwards in confusion. "Wh—" he began, but he was cut off by the high pitched ringing of the cellphone he carried in the back pocket of his jeans.
He gave me a long, long look before abruptly standing up and answering; I avoided his stare.
"Yes?"
Okay. Okay, I could do this. It would be over soon.
"I understand. I'm on my way." L finished his brief conversation, snapping the phone shut with a tiny 'click'. I could feel his eyes on me, but my gaze remained focused on my lap. "It seems everything's gone well."
I nodded heavily and stood up on cement-block legs.
L paused. "Will you be alright?"
Would I?
"Yes…" I said, and it wasn't just L I was trying to convince. "Yes, I'll be fine."
3:41 p.m.
The sound of our footfalls echoed rapidly in the corridor we walked now, on our way to the main room of the investigation building, where the other members of the Kira Task Force were gathered.
Mostly we walked in silence, both of us too caught up in our own thoughts to be bothered to start a conversation. And also probably because we realized the futileness of it all.
I cracked a dry smile.
Actually, the situation was fairly hilarious on some level—we were brooding the same thing, I knew that for sure, but we both knew not to tell the other of it, of our imminent (or in L's case, presumed imminent) death.
It was almost a competition, really. Who would fall first? Quite unfair, as I doubted that L realized there was another player in the game…
Abruptly my pace slowed, then came to a complete halt, some distance behind L. Appearing to sense my absence, L paused too and turned around, a silent question evident in his eyes.
"Ryuuzaki? Would it be okay if I left for the bathroom now?"
L regarded me seriously as I made my request. "Can it wait?"
"Do you really want to find out?"
A small sigh seemed to leave him then, and he reluctantly nodded his acquiescence. "That's fine. Please hurry, though."
"I'll do my best."
L's head turned sharply towards my retreating figure—he'd definitely caught the double intent in my sentence. But it was too late, I was almost at the end of the corridor.
" I'll meet you in the main room!" I called out, not turning around and I rounded the next corner, away from him.
Far behind me, L murmured, "Will you?"
3:42 p.m.
"Will you?"
L deliberated in front of the double doors that marked the entrance to the main room of the task force building, standing in his usual slouch as he stared unseeingly at the door.
Something's not right here...
His forehead creased slightly in a rare display of frustration as he replayed the last few minutes again in his head.
I'll do my best... there it was again, that double entendre just barely surfacing, half hidden in her words. Her best... in what?
L highly doubted that such a thing as a toilet break required such strenuous mental activity.
Voices sounded from behind the closed doors, numerous and agitated. It almost sounded like an argument- ah, Watari must've briefed them already, L reasoned. Particularly Matsuda could be heard above the others, high pitched and panicky. L sighed, barely audible in the silence of the corridor outside, and he tapped in the code on the keypad that granted him access to the room.
Like L expected, the other members of the Kira Task Force converged on him almost immediately.
"Ryuuzaki! What's the meaning of all this? You got approval from another country to use the notebook for an execution?" Matsuda seemed shocked to the point of anger and L addressed the main screen displaying the large, gothic 'W'. "Watari, excellent work, thank you."
"Not at all."
"First things first: please make arrangements to transport the notebook immediately," L said, climbing into his usual crouch on the chair that sat before the screen and picking up the tiny silver fork that lay next to a half eaten strawberry shortcake.
"Yes, right away."
"Ryuuzaki...what are you trying to do?" Light questioned him somewhere to his far left, and L saw the red glint flash through his eyes as he glanced fleetingly at the spongy white shinigami veiled by the room's shadows. How sad, L thought almost absentmindedly as he lightly tapped the fork he held between a thumb and forefinger against the plate in front of him. To be killed by my very first friend.
It was still raining.
"Ryuuzaki?"
The bells were getting louder.
Over the flurry of voices that called for L's attention in the main room, thunder crackled overhead. L spoke.
"I'm going to try out the notebook for real."
3:59 p.m.
Quietly, I let myself into the room and shut the door behind me. I hoped that L wasn't watching his surveillance cameras at the moment; he wouldn't like what he saw. This was nowhere near the bathroom.
Sighing, I paced the short distance across the room, avoiding the long, grey shelves that surrounded it. It was strangely cold and silent. I rubbed the back of my neck wearily as I slid down into a sitting position.
There was nothing else to do but wait.
4:02 p.m.
The whole room was in a state of disbelieving shock, L noted. Aizawa in particular.
"We can't do that!" the bushy haired man argued, taking shaking but determined steps towards the detective. "And there's no point in testing it now, now that we know the notebook's power is real!"
"And besides, who's going to write the name?" Matsuda put in his two cents as well. "If someone starts writing in the notebook, they'll have to obey the 13 day rule and keep writing names forever!"
"It's already been worked out," L replied calmly, not looking away from the numerous screens in front of him. "The person who will write in the book is a criminal scheduled to be executed in just over 13 days. If he's still alive, 13 days after writing the name, he'll be pardoned from execution."
This is necessary, L reminded himself as the shocked gasps made by the investigation team grew only louder at this announcement. It is necessary to tell them everything.
"But still..." Soichiro Yagami gasped out through a pale face, breathing heavily. L should've guessed he would object, what with his naturally stubborn nature and apparently innate sense of justice. "to sacrifice a life—"
"We're very close!" L ground out, enough time was being wasted as it is! Why couldn't they see...? "If we work this out, the entire case will be solved!"
For all the detective's observational skills however, somehow, the two gleaming ruby eyes of the Shinigami went unnoticed as she disappeared into the darkness.
And then the lights blacked out.
4:03 p.m.
I stared listlessly at the ceiling, still visible in the half-darkness, counting the fine cracks in the grey plaster. My hands were behind my head and my body was stretched out on cold, metal floor one foot propped casually over the other. I suppose under different circumstances, this position would be called 'relaxed'.
After a while, I grew bored of counting cracks and began to determine what the fine lines resembled: squinting, I saw a giraffe…a flower…an angel…
"What are you doing here, Ariko Kimura?"
A demon.
"Hello, Rem." I said, slowly sitting up to look up at the reptilian shinigami hovering above me. "You know, I think we had this exact same conversation a few days ago… not that you'd remember…"
Her luminous yellow eye flared brighter. "You should not be here."
"I want to make a deal." I looked at her directly. "Just between you and me. Human and shinigami."
"Why should I?"
"Because this deal will guarantee the survival of both Misa Amane and Light Yagami… and yourself." I tried to smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. "How does that sound?"
Rem was silent for some time, seeming to be lost in her own thoughts. When she next spoke her voice was harsher than her already rumbling bass. "And what do you get in return?"
"L will live," I said firmly. "And you, nor any other shinigami, will not write his name in the Death Note."
"I cannot guarantee the actions of the others," Rem said, drawing closer to me. "But I will accept those terms only if L Lawliet will no longer investigate the actions of both Misa and Light Yagami."
A rush of shock went through me as she said L's full name—Lawliet? Was that French? And his first name…I almost laughed. Hiding in plain sight. He really was brilliant…
Shaking my head, I forced myself to concentrate on the situation. "Deal."
"You can promise me this?"
"I swear it."
"Then tell me how you plan on doing this…human."
4:05 p.m.
The entire room was dark yet bathed in red, a trick of the light, L assumed. Around him, people were beginning to panic.
"What is this?" Matsuda cried, his voice pitched high in fear.
As if in response, the numerous screens surrounding them flashed a blank white; in bold black print, the words 'All data deletion' flared on the screen. L froze; had the Shinigami already…?
"Data deletion?" Aizawa repeated, staring at the screens with a strange mix of confusion and dread. "What the hell's going on?"
"I told Watari…" The words seemed to slip through L's numb lips of their own accord, "to make sure that he erased all information in the event that something would happened to him."
Although L's eyes were still fixed steadily on the screen in front of him, he could feel the curly haired man's burning, accusing stare against his back. "If something were to happen…" Aizawa repeated faintly.
Matsuda gasped, and L could feel his thoughts running in the same direction as his own, albeit at a much slower pace. "Could it be…?"
"Where is she?" L suddenly felt very cold as soon as the words flew out of his mouth, his voice hoarse.
"Huh?"
"Where's Riko-san?" L snapped out to the disoriented men stumbling around him in the dark.
Light gasped, and for a disturbingly irrational moment, L debated between strangling the poor honey eyed teen or simply kicking his ass into oblivion right there, but he grit his teeth and bit harshly into his thumb . "The—the shinigami's disappeared too!"
"I knew it!" Aizawa roared, pointing a finger at the screens, as if in accusation. "It's her! She's Kira!"
Matsuda's eyes widened and he bit his lip worriedly as he frowned, also still looking at the screens. "Was she the one who tripped the alarm…?
A tremendous feeling of unease suddenly gripped L and he clutched the arms of his chair, tensing. Something's wrong, this isn't right…
"I don't understand…" he murmured, barely a whisper but Aizawa caught it and scowled at him, crossing his arms over his chest as he moved over so that he was right in front of him.
"Like hell you don't, Ryuuzaki!" he yelled, his face going red from the effort and eyebrows moving like caterpillars on his face. "I don't know why I listened to you about this for so long; I'm gunna find her before she kills the rest of us!" L watched as Aizawa began to stride purposefully towards the door and L felt the same sense of panic—sharper this time—grab him again.
"Aizawa-san!"
Matsuda hovered, torn between the door and the other people in the room and L saw uncertainty flicker through his dark eyes. Finally, he made his decision, taking one last glance at the detective before following his colleague's direction. "Wait, you can't go by yourself!"
That left Soichiro and Light, L noted, watching the two look uncertainly back at him. L didn't say anything.
Then Light spoke, as usual, low and persuasive, "Ryuuzaki… we have to stop her." Red glimmered in his eyes. "She killed Wat—"
"Yes, I know." L cut him off there, abruptly feeling very, very tired. This was enough. This was too much. He stood up suddenly and Light took a step back in surprise, a slight frown gracing his face as he attempted to decipher L's latest variation of an unreadable expression. "Come on then, Light-kun."
Red, again, but this time L ignored it.
The bells…
He still heard them. Louder than ever, beating against his eardrums. But as they left the room, it suddenly dawned upon L:
They weren't ringing for him.
4:11 p.m.
The Death Note lay in front of me, Watari's name gleaming upon its yellowed pages in bright crimson. I didn't have a pen with me, but I did have the old penknife I carried around through force of habit. Rem had assured me that the writing instrument would not affect anything so long as the words were legible.
" 'Quilish Wammy', huh?" I said, trying to stifle the familiar echoes of guilt and fear; my heart was pounding a violent tattoo against my ribs. "So he was English after all…"
"I can hear them coming," Rem said. She was a terrible partner for a conversation. "You have already created evidence against yourself. You do not need to continue this."
Shaking the hand I had cut to keep the blood flowing from the wound I shook my head. "No, trust me, I do. You should leave now, Rem. You'll distract them."
The skeletal shinigami nodded curtly and began to phase through the opposite wall.
"Rem?" She stopped, only half her body visible. I paused. "Thank you."
"She's in here! I just saw her on the surveillance camera!"
I cringed as Aizawa's voice rang through the hall outside, sounding strangely magnified in the small room I occupied. I looked back at the wall: Rem was gone. Outside, the others' footsteps gradually joined Aizawa's and I knew L wouldn't be far behind.
I looked down at the notebook in front of me and gripped it with shaking hands, unfolding myself shakily from the floor and standing up. I always wanted to die on my feet…
Using my fingers, wet with my still flowing blood, I began to dawdle, gently—almost lovingly—tracing in the first two letters of L's real name.
L-A—
The heavy metal door of the room burst open with a bang and I recoiled at the sound and the sudden light that flashed painfully into my eyes. One of them must have brought a torch.
"Ri—Riko-san?" Matsuda's voice, disbelieving. Betrayal was etched in every line of his features.
"She's writing in the Death Note!" Aizawa bellowed. It suddenly occurred to me that I was faintly annoyed. Why weren't they doing anything? Why were they just standing there?
In a sudden movement, I bent down over the page and scrawled in another letter.
W—
"Mmph!"
My hand was pulled by an invisible string in the opposite direction; I dropped the notebook. Only when I saw the pulsing rush of crimson from my arm that I realized I had just been shot; I had never known Matsuda had such good aim.
Falling to my knees, I crawled towards the notebook, grunting as I pushed my injured hand out…I grit my teeth. Nearly over…
"Ah-!"
Fire! Fire all over, pushing through my body like a train—
(ohGod)
-the dull slam of my back against the cold metal floor knocking the breath out of me—
(ohGodithurts)
-lights bursting in front of my eyes, the searing heat in my chest and my stomach—
(ithurtssomuchmakeitstop)
-the sick, dizzying smell of copper, of my own blood—
(makeitstopplease)
A face, hovering above my own, all ink and snow and the scent of strawberries. His hand gently supporting the back of my head as he knelt by my side.
"Ryu-u-za-ki! What-re-y-ou-doi-ng?"
A distorted question.
I stared into the black pits of his eyes even as the copper erupted from my mouth, never looking away. The situation was so familiar, except this time it was me in his arms, and my heart that was counting its last beats. And now that I was here, I realized that this wasn't so bad after all… even the pain seemed to be fading away…
"L…" the words were a gurgle.
Long, cold fingers stroked the sweaty, locks of hair away from my face and I struggled to speak, crying and laughing all at the same time.
"…did you know…"
His eyes were grey. Grey, not black. Remember.
"…gods of death…"
Remember.
A/N: So, quite a long chapter. Review, please? The next chapter will look at the first time L died—before she started replaying. I'm looking forward to writing it!
Thanks for reading (and if you have time, please check out my other story on a different account—my penname backwards! It's in the Harry Potter fandom and it's a Tom Riddle Jr. x OC fic).