I was in my bed, staring at the ceiling.. I hadn't gotten out of it for a week by now, or opened the blinds, finding the light painful. I was too useless to get up and do things, everyone called me useless, didn't they? If they didn't, I know they thought it. I was the useless Italy, while fratello was the much needed one, he didn't mess things up, he didn't cry about everything. I'm told I cry too much by everyone. I hate it. I don't want to be this way, but I have to. I remember at some point I wasn't like this.

There was a knock on my door, I didn't respond. I didn't even look up. After a few more knocks, the door opened.

My brother came in, dressed in a nice black suit, "Fratello get up, we only have three hours until our flight.." he went over to the curtains, pulling them open.

I hissed at that, shaking my head as I brought my blanket over my head. He sighed, pulling it off, then going to my closet and getting my own black colored suit, along with a brush. It was like I was a little child all over again.. Well, I am just as useless as one, I mean, I couldn't save him. If I couldn't save him, what could I do? I'm not even supposed to be here! Romano has the capital after all…

…

"Fratello, why is everyone calling me Italy? Aren't we both Italy?" I tugged on my brother's shirt as we walked out of the meeting place. He shot me a glare, and began walking faster, towards his car.

As I got in, I asked again, "Fratello.. why does everyone call me Italy!?" I whined my demand.

He eyed over at my as he started the car, "Not now.." he began speeding off, towards our house (since the meeting was being held in Italy)

I frowned, poking at him, "Tell meee"

He pulled over, looking at mr in anger, "Do you really wanna know?" His eye twitched as the words spilled from his mouth.

I nodded, "Si.. Why would I ask if I didn't?"

He sighed, "Because.." he paused.

"Because what?"

"..I have the capital.."

"So?"

"..." He bit his lip, looking at me again, "Are you sure you want to know?".. for some reason he didn't seem angry anymore…

"Si!" I said imachiantly

"...Our boss was saying that if it was declared that we both weren't needed.. you would…" he looked at me for a bit more, then turned to his wheel, starting to drive again.

"...Why didn't he tell me?" I whispered.

He must have not heard it, because he didn't answer.

…

It didn't fight fratello as he dressed me, and brushed my hair. I was like a puppet, or a doll. Well I had always been a puppet. All threw out my life I've done what other want me to. All my life I've had that fake smile and forced joy since I was a small child. Afterall, everyone likes a happy person. All I had to do was act stupid. Yes. I had to give up my knowledge for fake joy. Fake joy that wasn't even for my good, but for the good of those around me. I wonder what they would think if they found me crying for real, if they found me curled up, sobbing in a closet. Only one person has ever seen me really cry.

…

I was curled up crying. Where was I? The only place in Germany's house that no one was in. The basement. I'm not sure why, but he always told me not to go in here, which always confused me. Especially since it was clean in here… Oh wel-

I flinched as lights turned on, and footsteps came closer. I looked up, teary eyed, finding a pair of ruby colored ones looking back, "Ita?"

I sniffled and nodded, wiping away my tears.

"What's wrong?"

"...N-Nothing.." just thinking about how I shouldn't even be here, how I, like you, should have disappeared awhile ago.

"Ita…" I found a pair of arms around me, "Please tell me.. I won't tell anyone else… I promise.."

"..I-It.. it's just… I shouldn't even be around.. We don't need two Italies.." I murmured, my words making Prussia frown.

"Oh Ita.. You are needed, because without you who would make me and west such good tasting pasta?" He said jokingly.

I giggled a bit, nodding.

Prussia seemed like he was going to say something else, but stopped himself, and let go of me.

That's where I messed up with him. I should have told him about my feelings. I shouldn't have told myself to kept them to myself. If I had, he'd at least have known, if not been alive for longer. I could be in his arms right now, he could whisper sweet nothings into my ear, he could snuggle me while I sleep, encourage me when I mess up…

"W-Well.. I better get back home.."

Prussia nodded, then smirked a bit, "Ita~!"

"Si?"

"When are you coming back over?"

"Tomorrow probably.."

He nodded a bit, and paused, then smirked at me "Can you bring some pasta with you?'

"If you promise to be here~!"

"I promise I will. I'll be at the table waiting! I won't eat anything untill you come back, so that I won't be full."

I nodded, then waved my goodbye.

…

I got the window seat on the airplane, due to fratello not wanting me to get up at any point.

"..Fratello, do you ever feel like your life has no purpose?"

Romano looked at me, alarmed, "No, why?"

"Just wondering… I wonder if that's what Prussia felt.. Maybe that's why he died.. Because there was no point to being alive anymore.."

Romano just looked at me, mouth opened, but after a bit longer, closed it, gulping. He pulled out a book as he shook his head and muttered things to himself in our language.

I found myself absently staring out the window, and slowly but surely nodding off...

…

I was standing on Germany's doorstep, holding a basket as I knocked on the door. I had just made three plates of pasta for Prussia and me.

Author's Note:... Well this started as a oneshot, then I finished and found myself at 1,500 words, so… I'm splitting this into two parts! I hope you enjoy this trash I have written, and yeah… I'm sorry… I was tired while writing this, so sorry if it's hard to understand...