Desperate times call for desperate measures, a monsters vs. aliens fanfic

Alright! My first MvA fanfic!! Or rather….one-shot.

Anyway, I really liked this movie….it was a tad predictable, but very unusual and enjoyable all the same….and after watching it, I began to explore the fandom a bit more….fanfics/vids/genres….until this idea popped into my head and I wanted to try my hand at writing a one-shot. I apologize if it's a bit out of character, but I did the best I could.

Well, enjoy!

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Dr. Cockroach sat, his small but nimble hands working profusely as they jumped here and there, connecting dials and plugging in wires. A pool of moonlight flooded in through the only cell window, illuminating his latest invention and adding to the already frantic feel with an almost 'Frankenstein; touch. And while he usually abhorred comparing his brilliant mind to that of a horror novel, on this particular evening, Dr. Cockroach indeed felt very much like the mad scientist of the story; going against the laws of nature and fiddling with the balance of life and death.

Which, he realized—after installing the final switch—he was.

Finally, he thought, mopping his brow with the back of his sleeve, it's finished. The oh-so familiar evil laughter was bubbling in his throat, but the doctor bit down hard on his lip, preventing it from escaping. The last thing he wanted was his maniacal cackling to awaken his colleagues. Despite the thick metallic walls separating them, he knew full-well that the other four all had exceptional hearing….well….three of them, anyway. What with his bizarre gelatinous structure—not to mention lack of brain—Dr. Cockroach highly doubted B.O.B had the same hearing capacity as the others.

He certainly didn't seem to have a very high listening capacity—and that was a fact.

Especially given recent events.

The Doctor scowled, his antennae twitching sharply with irritation. Recently, B.O.B had gotten considerably more annoying: He talked more, insisted on hanging around….in fact, wherever she went, there he was. With that same, infuriating dreamy look in his large eye. It was unbearable. Did she even see what he was doing? Or did she even care?

"No, no. Don't think about that." He whispered in self assurance, "it would never happen. She would never look at him that way…."

But underneath his sturdy exterior, Dr. Cockroach wasn't so sure. After all, what was stopping her from falling for the translucent blue mass B.O.B was? He sure wasn't. Lacking many things or not, one trait his gelatinous colleague did have was confidence. In himself, in what he was doing….even in the absurd idea he would win her over. Make her his girl.

An unusual feeling squirmed in the pit of the doctor's stomach, and his hands clenched into tight fists. It didn't matter what he did: unlike B.O.B, when it came to the opposite gender, confidence was something he didn't have. Even with the most brilliant mind on the planet, when it came to women, Dr. Cockroach had no idea how to talk to them.

Much less express his affection towards her.

The one and only time he had attempted it not only failed miserably, but had left him completely embarrassed and her undoubtedly confused. 'The cat's meow?' How humiliating. It was sayings like that that caused him to retract—figuratively, of course—into his shell; becoming outmatched in 'the game of love' by someone like B.O.B.

Antennae still jerking about, the doctor shook his head, temporarily removing himself from his work station to fetch his test subject—his only subject, to be precise. And as such, he had to be absolutely certain he succeeded the first time.

Filled with a sort of anxious determination, Dr. Cockroach, now at the far end of his cell, picked up the jiggly green dessert he'd hid behind his storage box the previous night. At one point, B.O.B would have been horrified to discover his precious 'jello' had gone missing. However, upon learning his 'girlfriend' didn't seem to be able to speak—much less reciprocate the feelings he thought she'd had for him—the gelatinous mass began to lose interest.

And started trying to seduce better, larger….and silky white-haired women.

Making his way back to his invention—jello in tow—the now flushed Dr. Cockroach hastily hooked different wires and cords into the dessert—being careful so as to only target the pineapple chunks suspended within it.

This has to work, the mad scientist thought desperately, strapping an extra large pair of goggles to his bug eyes, I will not allow B.O.B to take Susan away from me. With that, he threw the switch, and a bright, sparkling light engulfed the room….

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"Hey Dr. C! You're up late!"

"….Hm?" Stifling a yawn, the groggy Dr. Cockroach looked up, not at all surprised to see the curious eyes of the missing link, his scaly body swiveled in his chair to better face the doctor.

"Yes, it would appear so." He replied, blinking the last remnants of sleep from his eyes. They were all there, all four of them—Clearly in the midst of their breakfast, before being interrupted by his arrival. Link, as usual, was seated at the pasty grey table, fish skeletons scattering his half-finished plate. Behind him, Butterflyosaurus sat, delicately—if that was the right word—sipping from a lake sized bowl of sugar-water. Susan Murphy, or Ginormica, as the rest of the world called her, was sitting in her abnormally large chair; a plate of what the doctor could only assume was oatmeal in front of her, perched on the equally large table. Though one of her slender hands was curled around a specially-made spoon, she showed no interest in her meal; looking instead with her beautiful blue eyes at him. Doing everything in his power to keep from blushing, Dr. Cockroach silently basked in her attention, cherishing the moment until an obnoxious goofy voice pulled him back into reality.

With a swift turn of his head, he noticed that B.O.B wasn't at his table, next to Link….nor had his breakfast been touched. As he followed the voice he knew belonged to the blob of gelatin, the mad scientist was both shocked and furious to discover B.O.B gliding up and down the side of Susan's plate, with that same cursed expression, occasionally pausing to flash her an 'I want you' look or utter what he perceived as a pick-up line. If there was ever an example of someone giving it there all, B.O.B was that example.

"Why that—" Dr. Cockroach began, then stopped himself, his rationally kicking in. Though he had long since decided his feelings for Susan, the other monsters were unaware of it, and now was not the time or the place for any of them to learn. It wouldn't have been fair on Susan….and besides; B.O.B was never good at handling news of any kind: he nearly broke when they finally told him the truth about the invisible man. No….to come clean now would be a big mistake….

"Dr. Cockroach?"

Again he as roused from his thoughts, the concerned voice of Susan echoing in his ears. "….yes, my dear?" He replied, ignoring his heart's increased palpitations. Sensing a pause, the doctor raised his head, startled but also slightly touched that the worry in her voice was matched by the expression on her face.

"Um, are you okay?"

He laughed, trying to be light-hearted but coming off as a bit nervously, "of course I am, Susan." He lied, internally groaning for sounding so unconvincing, "just a little sleep-deprived is all."

He stared at her intently, trying to read her change in expression, hoping for that sliver of a chance she believed him. However, after a moment or two, giantess' cheeks turned a little pink, and she looked down, apparently uncomfortable under such a heavy gaze.

"O-oh," she said quietly, suddenly very interested in her meal.

He wanted to apologize to her, to explain just why he'd stared at her like in such a way….but B.O.B's voice once again halted him, this time with what he thought was a smooth tone.

"Hey baby," the gelatinous blob said as suavely as he could, gliding over to Susan and resting—a little too comfortably—against her arm, "is this guy bothering you?"

It was all Dr. Cockroach could do to maintain his composure as he witnessed this display; true, B.O.B was making a complete fool of himself—a muffled laugh from Link confirmed that much. Yet, even with his backing, that wasn't what the doctor was worried about.

It was just….where he had managed to make her turn away—hang her head, awkward and uncomfortable—B.O.B had actually gotten a laugh out of Susan….that cute little giggle of a laugh that meant she thought something was funny.

….she thought B.O.B was funny.

No, no no! His mind screamed, calm down! The only reason she's laughing is because B.O.B is acting like a fool! Not because she….

And then, he remembered something.

He had prepared for this. And now, standing and watching and trying as hard as he could to keep from losing it, Dr. Cockroach knew it was time to finish what he'd started the previous night.

"Oh B.O.B," the doctor said, raising his voice to ensure it reached the translucent blue blob on Susan's table, "would you mind coming down here for a minute?"

Never losing his 'stride,' B.O.B lazily leaned over, "Well I dunno Doc," he replied, his eye rolling back to gaze at Susan, "I'm kind of a little busy up here."

One antennae twitched, "it will only take a moment."

"But will I—"

"YES you'll like it!" He snapped, his patience waning, "Now come down here!"

With a shrug, B.O.B oozed his way to the edge of the table, but not before throwing an "I'll be right back" over his shoulder to Susan. Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Dr. Cockroach waited with growing aggravation for the gelatinous mass to drop himself from the high surface and land with a splat at his feet.

"So….whatcha want?" B.O.B asked, his scattered form reforming after the fall.

A sly smirk tugged at the corner of the doctor's mouth, and that same evil laughter began brewing in the depths of his throat. But—though it was difficult—he ignored it: after all, if he succeeded, he could laugh long and hard, without having to worry about women-stealing globs of goo. "B.O.B," he began again, looking him straight in the eye, "there's someone I'd like you to meet….or rather, to re-introduce."

That previous expression of smooth seduction in B.O.B's giant amber pupil dissipated; his undying curiosity, and child-like attention span kicking in. "Ooh! Ooh! Tell me tell me! Who is it?" He gushed, jiggling with excitement. The subtle smirk on Dr. Cockroach's face instantly broadened into a full-fledged grin, and his eyes sparkled as only a true mad scientist's could.

"Very well," he answered, turning his head to the side. The gazes of the other four monsters—who had invited themselves into his conversation—were boring into the back of his exo-skeleton, fueling the doctor's enthusiasm for what he was about to do. "I'd like you….all of you….to me—become reacquainted with Ell! Ell, will you come out please?"

As they were pondering just who this 'Ell' character was, and why they had such an odd name, the door to the room opened further—the doctor hadn't closed it entirely when he entered—and a four foot tall, vibrantly green dessert inched into the room—off-white pineapple chunks moving ever so slightly, even in their suspended state. She had two beautiful azure eyes—the long feathery eyelashes indicated it was a girl—and a perfectly-shaped green mouth, that opened a fraction as she stared with slight intimidation at the gawking group before her.

Well….three were gawking: Dr. Cockroach had on a rather smug expression, and B.O.B looked absolutely thrilled.

"Whoa-ho!" He cried, waving a finger at Ell, "a new monster! Alright!"

This time, the doctor did roll his eyes. "No no….B.O.B. She isn't a new monster."

"Are you sure?" B.O.B inquired, his eye examining her closely, "I mean, she does look like I've seen her before….but—"

He sighed, gesturing to Ell with a wave of his arm, "Ell, B.O.B, is your ol—your girlfriend; Jello….I just….improved on her a bit….gave her a little more….spark, if you will." He snickered at the irony he'd woven into that last statement, though no one else picked up on it. They were all fixated on Ell.

"So you're….Jello…." Susan started, bending down to better observe her new colleague, "….how very…."

"Weird? Insane? Something that Dr. C. would totally—ow!" With a sharp elbow-jab from the doctor, the missing Link cringed in pain, his eyebrows furrowing angrily. "Hey, you're the one who said you were a mad scientist!" He protested, glaring reproachfully at the bug-man.

Ell laughed; the first time any of them had heard her speak. It was high-pitched, resembling a mouse's squeak, and her entire being vibrated as she giggled. Susan, too, joined in the laughter, and even B.O.B threw in a few chuckles of his own.

After a good minute or two, the laughter eventually died down, and the party once again resumed introductions.

"Well," Dr. Cockroach continued, "Now that they've all shown off their personalities, perhaps I shall introduce the others by name, hm Ell?" The dessert nodded, as best a dessert could; her large blue eyes scanning the other monsters with eager interest.

"The loud, scaly one whom I jabbed earlier is the missing link." He said, his antennae pointing to the still sore fish-ape hybrid, "and the large, furry beast behind him is Butterflyosaurus." The creature purred, its tongue hanging out in a friendly salutation. "The white-haired woman over here is Ginormica, but we all call her by her real name—Susan." He added, noticing the hurt look in her eyes at being referred to by her monster name first. He felt a blush fighting to form, but shook it off before she noticed.

"Now….lastly," Dr. Cockroach concluded hastily, "is…."

"B.O.B" Ell finished, batting her long eyelashes at the translucent blob, "yes, I remember him." Apparently forgetting about the doctor, Ell slid over to B.O.B, too shy to properly look at him. B.O.B too, seemed struck dumb by her, as his goofy excited manner from earlier abruptly vanished. "Hi….B.O.B…." Ell nearly whispered, only an inch or so away from him, "it's been a while….hasn't it?"

"Yeah," he answered, the truth of her words dawning on him, "it has." He moved a little closer, trying to make it look like an accident, "sooooo….."

If Ell were human, Dr. Cockroach knew she would have been blushing. "….what now?"

B.O.B smiled, his calm and collected attitude from earlier resurfacing, "I say we pick up where we left off baby." He suggested, putting one arm around the dessert. Ell's eyes lit up for an instant….but a swift look at Susan swiftly put an end to it.

"But….but what about your girlfriend?" She asked him, the intimidation obvious in her voice.

Despite having an exo-skeleton, that word made Dr. Cockroach's skin crawl. "NO Susan isn't—"

"Hey Susan!" B.O.B interjected, looking up at the giantess. She raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, B.O.B?"

B.O.B paused, his fingers twiddling as he wondered how to relay his next words to her. "Sorry about this, babe….but…." his gaze shifted back to Ell, who smiled hopefully at him "I'm afraid our….relationship just isn't going to work out….there's a new girl in my life now….so…."

Bringing a hand up to her mouth, Susan stifled a laugh. "It's okay, B.O.B," She managed through her muffled giggle fit, "I understand."

The translucent glob of gelatin brightened, and he wrapped an arm tightly around Ell. "Great!" he replied cheerfully, "glad we had this talk!" He turned back to Ell with that—Dr. Cockroach noticed thankfully—same dreamy look he had been staring at Susan with earlier that morning. "Now…." B.O.B began, "how about you and me get to know each other better, huh?"

Trying to be suave or not, B.O.B was completely serious about this, and as such, Ell let the fact that they used to know each other very well slide. "I'd like that." She said instead, leaning closer into B.O.B's side.

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Two days ago, Dr. Cockroach had been absolutely petrified he was going to lose the girl of his dreams to a brainless, boneless pile of goo. However, thanks to his brilliant mind….and B.O.B's still present feelings for Ell, those two days seemed like an eternity ago. Both translucent globs seemed completely happy with each other, as they were never apart….except at night, but then, that was mandatory.

The doctor couldn't have been more thrilled. Not only was Ell his greatest success, but it no longer seemed that B.O.B felt anything towards Susan. Which was perfectly fine with him. Now that Ell was in the picture, the doctor could take his sweet time planning just how and when he was going to confess his feelings for the giantess. By her reaction to B.O.B's apparent 'break-up' with her two days ago, he could safely say any and all chemistry the two of them might have had was strictly in B.O.B's head.

And while that in itself was satisfying, he still had no idea if Susan herself felt anything for….

"Hey, Dr. Cockroach," A familiar, beautiful voice sounded, interrupting his thoughts, "mind if I uh, join you?"

"Susan my dear!" He blurted, jumping nearly a foot in the air, "what….how….o-of course you can!" Inwardly, he cringed, horrified by how uncertain and….transparent he had sounded….while silently appreciating her arrival.

The white-haired girl cast him a tentative look, but said simply, "Um, okay." Bending down, she kneeled beside the standing doctor, accompanying his observation of the 'gelatinous romance' taking place a few feet away.

"You know….they really are cute together…." She speculated, tilting her head as she watched Ell kiss B.O.B's cheek. Dr. Cockroach shrugged.

"I suppose they are…." He laughed, a little nervously, before attempting to cover it up as a throat clear. "Scientifically speaking, of course."

"….yeah…."

They stayed like that for a while, suspended in an awkward silence. He desparetly wanted to speak; the two gelatinous globs in front of them were enough to make him want to confess his own feelings….to tell Susan that he really….

"You know, that was really nice—what you did for B.O.B." Susan said suddenly, breaking their silence. The doctor flushed.

"Well I-I….really I mean—he was….and you—" He took a deep breath, mentally kicking himself back into focus. "It was merely a successful experiment that benefitted others."

She laughed, and his heart jumped a little. "How'd you do it, anyway?"

He looked up. "Hm?"

"You know….how'd you make Ell come to life?"

Now it was his turn to laugh. "Like a magician, my dear, a true mad scientist never reveals his secrets." He flashed her a grin, and she giggled once more.

"Well, either way, thank you." She said, her blue eyes gleaming, "B.O.B was becoming a bit more then I could take."

His own eyes widened a little, and his blush deepened, "Really, Susan, it was—"

Abruptly, he stopped, the presence of Susan's soft lips on one of his oversized bug-eyes. Before he had the chance to react, however, Susan sprang to her feet and darted off….

….but not before uttering a short but heartfelt "see you later" as she did so.

Stunned though he was, Dr. Cockroach smiled—not one of triumph, or madness, but one he felt from the very depths of his heart.

Maybe it wasn't such a stretch to believe Susan might share his feelings. After all, she certainly seemed to. She'd admitted B.O.B was becoming a handful….and she'd kissed him….hadn't she? It had to mean something.

And if he could find—or enhance but that didn't really count—someone for B.O.B to be happy with….then shouldn't he be able to find someone for himself? Someone beautiful….and tall….with silky white hair and sparkling blue eyes….

Was it really so hard to want to be with Susan? To love….Susan?

Once again, the doctor shook his head. Maybe it is now, he thought, maniacal laughter once again beginning to form, but someday, I swear, I will make Susan mine.

And then Doctor Cockroach let loose the deepest, loudest, most terrifying cackle he had in a good long time.

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Yeah….not sure I like the ending….but I wasn't sure exactly how I was going to end it….

Hey, he's a mad scientist who has been purposely bottling up his evil laughter….eventually he was going to lose it….

Well, that's it! Please review! I always like to hear what people think of my new fanfics! Especially the first time I write for a fandom :D