Story of friendship, love, tragedy, regret, falling in love again and asking for another chance .. what will you do if someone so dear to you left you without any notice... words left unsaid... feelings left unexpressed...
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DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters. I just used them to write my own story.
The memories of the days keep coming back to me.
Just like the old song goes; "it's all coming back to me now".
I looked in the mirror to see how the days have made me this; like an old man. My dark circles in my eyes are saying 'Hi!'
The auburn eyes that that girl always loved are losing their intensity. It's losing its sexy stare, as she always tell m-. "Your eyes, they are very sexy. I love it!"
What will she say if she saw me right no? Hahaha! She'll go berserk, scolding me why I'm not taking care of myself. I want to hear her scold me again, no, I want to hear her scolding me, nagging me every single day.
It has been a long while since the days had gone by without any notice.
It has been a while since those days when we'd run and laugh like maniacs, talk like there's no tomorrow, cry like we're the unluckiest people, and love like its forever.
I looked in the mirror to see how the days, weeks, months and years without her have made me this old. For the four years, I've lived my life facing every day without her beside me. For the first time in my life I will admit that every single day without her is a day in the midst of the dessert. I still remember back then what she would say when she saw me alone. "Is it soo~ lonely without me in your life. Hehehe." She would say that with that mischievous smile in her face. I always knew it's a half-meant joke, seriously meant for me. "If you only know how much I'm enjoying myself- ALONE." I'd say in my reply, but in reality it's so lonely without her.
I've lived my life thinking that each day that pass is a day less that I have to wait to be with her again. But i still have a long way to go.
You see, I've grown old after a couple of years, and the same feelings linger in me. Feelings that I only get feel again when I put myself into sleep, and when hands of the clock would move in the opposite direction.
Ah… Ah… it's been a long while. I told my self, as I slowly move to my bed and lie. It's the only place that I feel like I can see her eyes and lips smiling and talking to me. It's the only place that I felt I'm so close to her.
"I want to see the guys. How are they, now? It's been two years since we saw each other, and it's been four years since that day. I guess, she's the only one that keeps this group intact, without her there's be no us." I sighed to myself as I stare in the sky's most wanted treasures.
I remember her telling me that she'd always love starring up in the evening sky; "You see, no matter how dark the night is they give you the most beautiful light you could ever see, not to mention how small they are. Ah, so beautiful. Every time they twinkle, I feel like they're calling for me." She would say.
Is it me or this night is surprisingly silent? No vehicles passing by, instead I can only hear the crickets.
I smiled to myself thinking what she'd say if she hears about this, perhaps she'll say "Oh, they're singing that's why you hear them" in a trivial way, as if crickets actually sing.
Oh, I know this phase. I know this familiar setting. Here it is!
"I hate it every time this happens!" I said, as tears fell down from my eyes, sparkling with the stars outside, in the midst of my dark room.
I closed my eyes.
The crickets, maybe they're really singing. I feel like they are my lullaby tonight. I feel a little sleepy-
And- hagimeru*.
The night is silent. You can only hear the sound of the crickets *singing*.
We're walking home from the train station. It's our form of bonding, we love walking together and talking about how our day was. Our houses are in the same direction, but ours is a bit farther than theirs.
We were talking about the guy trying to pursue her for the last time, and then-
"Ne, Kanata. Tomorrow I'm leaving", she started as she looked up in the stars.
I already know, you told me, almost, every night from the time you decided to go, right? I told myself. And I want to tell not to go, but I am your friend. I don't want to be a hindrance to you.
"It's just one year. Just one year." she continued. Yeah, just one year. One year, I told myself again. "So please don't be lonely without me. We can still talk to each other, you know. Our communication will still continue like I am here with you. I'll call you as often as I call my parents." She added, as she looked at me, with her emerald eye.
"And who told you I'll be lonely without you?" I said smiling at her, "Yeah, call me- everyday. E-mail me every hour. Text me every minute. 'Cause if you don't, you're dead!"
She smiled back at me.
"Kanata, you know what I've always loved your eyes" she said.
"Yeah, yeah I know you love them, because-"I started
"Because it feels like I am starring at the most beautiful star I could ever see" she finished, smiling.
You say that and yet you yourself have star-like emerald eyes, I told myself.
"Ne, Kanata. If I fail to call you, look at the stars you'll se me talking to you. Sparkling and calling you. The stars will be our own telephone line. There'd be no interruptions, no busy tones, and no answering machines saying 'please leave a message'. It will be our secret line, always available." She said looking intently star-like emerald eyes, I thought there'd be more, but she smiled mischievously and it means that she's done talking.
"Yeah, our very own telecommunication line." I said, I don't know what to say every time she talks like this. She leaves me out of words.
She looked at her feet. She stopped. I thought what happened but then when I looked behind her we're already in front of their house. She smiled at me.
"This is me." She said stopping in front of their house, "I'll miss this part, us walking together; talking; laughing. That's why most people would mistake us for a couple. Hehehe!" she added.
I looked back at her, thinking: is it just me or the atmosphere becomes a bit awkward?
I tried to form a simple smile, but-
"Oh, I'll miss you Kanata!"she said as she hugged me so tight, and I find myself hugging her back as tight as I could. I never admitted to anyone, especially to her that I'll miss her, I just can't.
I know both of us remember that night. We're practically been friends since first year college but we never really have that physical contact like other opposite sex that are friends, we just don't feel like it. I know; the feeling is mutual. But tonight is the first time we hugged each other like this. I know that the feeling is tattooed on our skins, buried in the deepest layer.
We moved apart. It's time to say goodbye, and a little more while we'll both have to wait for one year to see, talk, and touch each other again like this.
"Tomorrow, don't see me off, okay?"she said.
"Why?" I demanded.
"If you see me off tomorrow, it feels like we won't be seeing each other again. That's why." She answered, I feel secured and contented with what she said. "We'll se each other again… I promise… even if something goes wrong." She smiled, and turns her head around, waving at me.
I always trusted her words, I never doubted them. Had I known that she'd break her promise, I would've never let her go that moment. I would've told her not to go. But-
"We'll se each other again… I promise… even if something goes wrong."
"We'll se each other again… I promise… even if something goes wrong."
"We'll se each other again… I promise… even if something goes wrong."
"We'll se each other again… I promise… even if something goes wrong."
"We'll se each other again… I promise… even if something goes wrong."