I woke up this morning not wanting to be late for the most important day of my life. Today is the day that I get to start my new life. I will leave this place because I don't belong here I am not what you would say "a person that puts others first and yourself second." I know this because I have never really put others first and I second. I only do that around others that I know and if I did not then they would scold me for it. But when I am by myself I do anything that I want witch is a lot because the only time that I am around people that I know is at school since my parents' died last year. My twin sister more like my best friend then a sister Anny. When she found out that I was going to do she literally said
"I hope that you burn in hell because you are no longer my sister don't ever talk to me again."
And after that happened I can basically do whatever I want because all I do around people is go to school so that is really the only time that I have to put myself second and others first. But that does not bother me anymore lucky me yay.
Last year when my mother was alive she said "you have to where this robe because it will help you forget yourself and you where the tee-shit because you need something to where when you go out in public so that you can give it to someone that needs it deer now be a good girl and go off to school."
And after that day when they died I never forgot what she said to me or what my sister said when I needed her most. And after what my sister Anny said to me I never trusted any one after that day. And the last words she said to me was "I love you with all my heart I hope you know that" it was like she knew that she was going to die or that she hope she did and I know that dad could not take any more or he was going to kill himself and leave us behind and it just so turns out that my mom wanted to die to.
I watched her die she walked out right in front of the car and my sister had to hold me back to go out to them that day I wished that I was dead but that was before I started to work on hand to hand combat.
And that day I knew that I would never in my love life ever again other than my sister but even my sister broke my heart and I knew that I would never be told that I love you be held again or get help when I needed it but I don't need I any more I am stronger than most people think they all think that because I have no family left that I am week but that only made me stronger.
I walk down the steps to my house and my sisters she has not woken up yet and I don't plane on waking her up so she can go to hell. When I go to the door I think to myself that it has been almost two years since they died and 7 month since my sister said that I could burn in hell.
Every couple of months she tries to talk to me but then I say that you can burn in hell you fucking bitch. And walk away from her. I hear her sob every time I say that to her but she knows what she did to me and because of her I don't have a sochle life or friends boyfriends but I don't want or need any they are just distractions from what I need to focus on.
I walk out the door and run because I think that I will be late but when I get there I have 20 minutes before it starts so I go and sit over in the stars and think about what I am going to go. But I already know Dauntless is where I want to go. I want to go there because they protect people, they are not cowered, they are mostly care free, brave, and daring is what I like most about them they are daring and don't really judge people but who the hell knows what they are like when you meet the assholes witch are in every faction let me tell you . But I know there are some rules like there are in every faction.
They protect one another and they protect one another when they need help. That was something that I did a lot with my family or friends or anyone who was nice to me when I needed it most. But that after my parents died and my sister said that I could burn in hell and that I am no longer her sister. I started to ignore every one and that's was when I thought that it would be good to fight with people. When people would pick on me, pick on me , shove me up against a wall or anything that was not needed I would do it back but harder and then I would get in to fight they all thought that they could take me but no they cannot I am stronger than most of them.
When my sister said that she needed help I would say
"you can burn in hell Ann". Then she would say
"when did you stop caring."
"After when you did to me you are luckily that I don't kill you right now." After I said that she would fall to her knees and start to sob but I turn to my door and shut it loudly after that she never came to me again.
By the time that everyone has started to come I go up the stars and see that we have to line up by our last name which means I will go after my sister. By the time that everyone is in the room the cersomany starts I have made up my mind so now that I know where I am going to end up I have known for a long time. I will leave Abnegation for Dauntless. I have heard of one or two Abnegation leave for Dauntless but it is not very common that Abnegation leaves there faction. I just hope that I am not the only one that will leave there faction or the only one that is transferring to Dauntless but that is ok by me if I am.
When I look at the room there are 5 lager bowls in the center of the room. Grey stones for Abnegation, glass for Erudite, hot coals for Dauntless, and earth for Amity.
The Candor's are housing this year my sister is lined up in front of me and keep sneaking looks at me like she is trying to say something but I ignore her she divers this she has hurt me more then she can ever know. The first name they call is a Candor his name is Steven robes and chooses Erudite. He is the first to change factions and he will be hated by his family and I don't think that they will come. I know that mine won't because they are dead.
As the caromany goes on there is so far 5 Erudite 4 Candor 3 Amity and no Abnegation so far but I will switch and then they will be shocked. When they call my sisters name Anny goodwood she walks into the middle of the room and takes the knife from the candor person I don't know his name. she cuts her hand and walks over to the Erudite bowl and lets her blood drop.
Now she is a faction transfer and she was mad at me for wanting to leave! She was mad at me! For wanting to transfer to Dauntless but now that she is Erudite I hate her even more than I did before I will never look at her the same way again. I no longer feel sorry for the things that I said to her last night. When I hear my name being called I walk over to the bowls and shoot a killing look over to my sister and take the knife in my left hand and cut my right hand and put it over the hot coals.
The hole room breaks out in to shouts. I have a satisfied look on my face when I walk over to the other initiates I am taller then them so I can look over at my sister who is staring at me with a scar look on her face and she knows what I can do now but she always knew what I could do but she knew that I would never hurt her because we were in the same faction but know she is far game. I laugh at that thought and the other transfers look at me.
But I have a smile on my face I zone out for the rest of the ceremony when the last of the people go the Dauntless start to break out of the room in to a run down the starts some people take 3 stars at a time and I am one of those people and some try but fall and fall on their faces. Since I am taller the most of the initiates from the other faction but there is one that is about as tall as me but I think that I am taller than him even.
We burst out the door and a Candor asks "where are we going?" I think that his name is Scott but I am not sure
"the train why to Dauntless for you Candor?" I say with a smirk I said this because I don't want any friends or boyfriend but they don't know that but they will if they start to talk to me. He just looks at me and slows his pace I think because I am the only on in the front and caching up to the Dauntless-borns I know that look that look that the Candor said that I will pay for that but I don't get pissed easy. So he will get pissed at me and I do lie easy I know the signs or showing that I am laying so I am all good.
When I get to the tracks the train is just coming and the light is growing closer and closer by the second I know how to do it because did hang out with them but I don't think that they recognise me because my hair is longer and it is down. And I am whereing a tight tee-shirt and pants that are the tights I own I think that they are called skinny jeans but not sure. And I am whereing makeup which Abnegation don't where. So that proves that I am not a stiff as they like to call me. But they say that one more time and I will hurt them. After the dauntless-borns jump on to the train I go in to the next car so I have a better chance of jumping out on time when all the others are on except for one he falls to his knees and put his head.
He has just failed the first test and he is factionless now he dies not fave a faction now he does not have a family any more. When I sit down a Erudite sits beside me so I have to be rude if I done want any friends so I have lots of practise at this.
"Aww the Erudite is scared but what you should really be scared of is me." I say and then when she gets up and goes and sits over by the others they all look at me like I have grown two heads "What i don't like Erudite geez it's like I have grown two heads or something Damn." When they are finished looking at me like I have two heads I look out the door it's not long till the dauntless says that we are going to jump off I am the first to jump and I land on my feet and all of the dauntless look at the same way the other initiates did
"What?" I say they all go back to doing whatever they were doing.
"Listen up my name is Luke. And I am one of the dauntless leaders. You will have to jump off this building in to the hole below-"
"What you want us to jump off this building?"
"Yes I do. Do you have a problem with that or are you scared? As I was saying the transfers will go first so who's up?" with that I walk up to the edge of the building and look down I stand on the edge and bend my knees and jump. Falling the feeling of weightlessness is amazing I feel so free. I love it. Then I hit something it's a net I smile and laugh at this
I see a hand over the edge of it but I don't take it I crawl over to the edge and I hop down
"Thanks but no thanks." I say to the person who seems to be shocked that I am the first to jump.
"What is your name?" he asks
"Erica." I say without hesitahon I like that name but in Abnegation my name was Samantha but everyone called me Sammy witch I did not like
A girl comes out from the dark "A stiff? The first to jump cant believe it." Now I have the erg to punch her and the guy sees it to
"back off Sam there is a reason why she left so just back off." How would he know that I left because there was no one that I cared for left alive there? I hope that he does not. But if he does he does not show it.
"Oh back off I was only joking damn jack." So that's his name Jack. He does not look aniod but he shouts over his shoulder
"First jumper- Erica!" the crowd of dauntless breaks out in to cheers and shuts my name Erica! Erica! Erica! They said my name until the next person came down with screams and we all laugh at the candor boy who turns bright red. Jack asks the same question and the boy says his name is Jacob and the Dauntless crowd shouts again Jacob! Jacob! Jacob! And then the next person comes down and that's when I tune out I don't really care to hear the names of the people that will be below me because I will be first.
well unless alexander comes in second he will try to kill me just like he has done before but he has hurt others so that they cannot continue on but if I come first he will go after me so thank god that I am always a where even in my sleep. I come out of my zone when I see that the group moving. We come to big double doors and the two Dauntless turn around thank god that I am in front of all of those restarts. Because they all run into one another and the boy who I thought that I was still taller than runs in to me.
"Sorry did not mean that." He looks at me and I give him the death stair that I gave my sister
"Watch it or I will break your nose." I say sounding angry but I am really not but I would like him to think that so he stays away from me.
"I did not mean that."
"I don't really care do I? No I don't so leave me alone." I say still sounding angry but he does not know that I am not really I am a good actress I have had years of practices Suckers.
"Damn man come down I said that I was sorry."
"Well for one I am not a man and I really don't care about what you said so just leave me alone." With that he was just about to say something but Jack cut him off by saying
"This is where we split up dauntless borns with Sam I hope you don't need a tour you have been hear all your life." All the dauntless borns leave and we are left with ten initiates that have transferred from candor erudite and me from abnegation.
"My name is Jack and I will be your instructor this year. Most of the time I work in the tattoo shop but for the next few weeks I am hear your instructor. Now we are about to walk in to the pit you will learn to love it-"
A Candor smart mouth decides to speak up "The pit what kind of name is that?"
"It is a name that you will need to learn to shut the fuck up got it". That put a smirk on my face he looks over at me and says " you think that is funny stiff?"
"ya I do." I say simply not really caring what he will do to me but I don't think anything really.
"well I hope to see you at the training room at 7 for a little extra training." He does not think that I will be there I will prove him wrong
I look at my fingers it looks like I need manicure I think that I will go for black "fine by me the longer I get in training room the happier I will be and by the way my name is Erica not stiff I have never been a stiff." I look at him he seems angry that puts another smile on my face.
"As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted you will follow me and I will show you the pit." He turns on his heal and wake through the double doors. It did not faze me the pit was so big but it did with all the other initiates it was filled with stores and I see a nail place Yes! I think I can get my nails done.
"if you fallow me I will lead you to the cazome." He turns to look at me I smile and wave all he does is roll his eyes perfect he does not like me either. we are lead over to water crashing and spraying over the edge "the cazome shows us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiotic a daredevil jump off the edge will end your life it has happened before it will happen again you have been wornd." He shouts over the sound of the crashing water over the rocks.
He leads us away from there and shows us to a the cafeteria I found a table where there was no one at and I see some of the others take it but then there are a few left and I go and sit by my elf but I am not hungry and I see Jack walk over to me and sit down right next to me.
"So stiff what are you doing sitting over hear by yourself I thought that stiffs where supposed to make friends? But you are not why?" He looks at me but I really don't care
"I don't want any friends they are just distractions and I don't need any and I already told you that I am not a stiff I have never been and I will not allow it so if you don't mind I would to know where we are going next on our little tour"
Now I have caught his attention "w we are going to the dorms next but did you really mean that you are happy to go to the training room?"
"yes I was now leave me alone I don't want to talk."
"but why don't you want any friends?"
"because I don't trust anyone any more even if they say that they won't do anything that they think won't hurt me and after my sister said that I could burn in hell and that I am no longer her sister I won't trust anyone ever again so I don't need any I will just focus on training and nothing eatls so is we are done hear I would like it if you could go."
"what happened to your parents?"
"They walked in front of a moving a car and died instantly as I was saying I don't want to talk about it anymore now leave." I say and now I was getting annoyed but I don't show it Jack looks at me one more time before he gets up
"just remember that you have to be at the training room before 7:00 or you will be held back after every one else leave for one hour. Got it"
"ya ya ya I got. Bye" I say with a sweet smile but the my words could cut steel because he is not leavening me alone I don't want to eat and I don't want anyone exspesely one of my trainers around me other than in the training room. Or when I have to see them.
When Jack is in the middle of the room he calls out "transfers we leave in ten minutes!" then he is called over to one of the friends and looks at me one more time before sitting over by his friends. Thank the gods that I don't have to talk to anyone any more damn this is going to be harder than I thought. For the next ten minutes I look around at all the transfers and try to think of a way that would be good to get on their bad side. I look ever at the table that has 3 Candor. I know them I toke them on last month and won Alexander is the leader of their group then a girl and another boy.
I think the girls name is Victoria and the boy's name is Hunter. I am already in their bad side for the stiff that beat them up. But I want to be sure that I stay on their bad side so I know exactly how to do it beat them aging or make fun of them. This will be fun and all I have to do is either be first or make sure that they get factionless but I know that won't happen not until the last stage I know about this stuff because I have hung out with Dauntless before and they thought that I was pretty cool that I beat up alexander Victoria and hunter all at the same time that around the time that my sister told me that I will never be her sister again and told me that I could burn in hell.
Then I look over to the other table where the rest of them are except me I study them for about 1 minute each but I think that If I just ignore them then they will stop talking to me or not even start. By the time I am done exsaming them Jack yells
"Transfers with me now!" the all start to get up and I am the first one by him but act like our conversation did not happen. He leads us through a series of dark halls to a room where I think we will be staying
"Listen up this is where you will be staying for the next few weeks in the fist stage or training you will be cut at the end there could be four of you and none of the dauntless born or four of them and none of you it could be a combaition of both."
"what?! You mean that we will get cut if we are not good enough? That's not fair."
"what are you saying that if you knew that you could get cut then you would not have joined if so you can leave now because that is a sign of cowardice ." I look at the erudite that came and sat by me on the train
"What are you scared that if you get cut then you will become factionless well get over it you are a dauntless now so stop your wining and don't interrupt again." I say sounding like I don't really care is I get cut or not and that's the truth I don't really care if I become factionless as long as I am not in Abnegation I will never go back there not in a million years to many bad things have happened there to make me go back. With that comment again everyone looks at me like have two heads "stop staring at me like I have grown two heads you all know that's the truth so stop your looking and pay attention back to him." I point at Jack like I don't know his name but I do and he knows it to but says nothing about it. And goes back to explain that we could get cut and this is where we will be staying again but I have heard it from the Dauntless borns before I started to ignore everyone.
When Jack is done I go in first and pick the bed that does not have a bunk on top and go and sit on it there is a pair of pants and a shirt the shirt looks like it would fit but not the pants so im going shopping but not yet I will go in a little bit.
"hi my name is lily what's yours?" a girl beside my bed asks holding out a hand but I ignore it and say
"Someone who really does not give to shit what your name is so leave me alone now." I say with a bitter tone the girl puts down her hand and walk over to someone else and does that again and I her them talking about me but I really don't care unless they are trying to make friends with me.
When everyone has picked their bed I get up and go out to get some pants and other things that I will need. When I walk in to the pit and go to the nail place when I walk in I go to the front and waited until I am noticed
"Hi my name is Zoë how may I help you?" she asks really politely and said it with a sweet smile.
"Umm hi I would like my nails done."
"Ok if you would fallow me please someone will be right with you in one moment."
I sit there for about one minute before I am grated again by a woman who has black hair and three piercing in her right ear and one in her left eye brow.
'Hi my name is shay what would you like today?" she said as she was taking a seet right in front of me.
"I would like umm." I hesitate for a second before saying "I would like black back ground and flames on the thumb please." My nails are long enough for that because I keep them into little claws with round edges. The women looks at my nails then make agreeing noise.
After about twenty minutes she has finished my nails and I must say they look really good. When I have paid for my nails I walk into a shop that sells pants. I try on three different pants all skinny jeans and I try on four tops two of the tops are tank tops and the other two are tee shirts they are both tight.
When I am back to the dorm where we are sleeping just as I get in Jack is there and he looks at my hand and shakes his head.
"Curfew go to sleep now I will know if you are not asleep I have eyes everywhere." And he smiles a very evil smile and walks out of the dorm I hear him laugh as he walks down the hall. I slip into bed and listen to all or the breathing in the room they are steady except for a few sobbing people but I am not one of them I will never be one of them. I drift off to sleep thinking of how I will kill my sister when I have the chance. And want to make her suffer for it.