Bad Romance of the Three Kingdoms
It just seems to be your normal day in the DW world, until a mysterious white mist appeared throughout the region. Following this is that suddenly the male characters start to turn gay for each other! While the remaining straight characters are trying to find a solution, the females start to have suspicious activities. What is it that they're planning? Is the mysterious white mist connected to all of this? What is actually going on?
Chapter 1: The Terror Begins
Ah…what a peaceful, beautiful morning in our beloved insanity-filled land of Ancient China. First of all, let us focus onto a certain blue-colored complex, the biggest complex in the entire land, known as the kingdom of Wei.
At the outside…
Cao Cao: Ah…what a beautiful morning! I'm sure nothing wrong can ever happen today! Now let's get some fresh ai- WHOA! Man…what, what the heck is this?! Where did this mist come from? Gah! It's so thick I can't see anything!
Guo Jia: Hm? My lord?
Cao Cao: Oh, Guo Jia. Here, this thick white mist blocks our eyesight. Where did it come from anyway? Hmpsh….
Guo Jia: Ah, it's alright. We can just relax inside all day until this mist disappears, then.
Cao Cao: Heh, I suppose you're right. (Hrngh…I feel sorta dizzy…ah, nevermind.)
Later...
Xiahou Dun: So, bla bla bla….
Cao Cao: …. (Hrgh…what…what is this? I feel weird….)
Suddenly, Cao Cao sees Xiahou Dun in your typical shoujo-style bishie sparkles and stuff…
Cao Cao: …. (Oh…oh my…Dunnie is so…cool…)
Xiahou Dun: …uhhh, cousin, you alright? Hey, hey!
Cao Cao: ….oh, OH! Erm…what?
Xiahou Dun: You alright? You spaced out.
Cao Cao: Eh…uhm…eh, I don't know.
Xiahou Dun: Your face looks red too. Have you got a fever or something? places his hand on Cao Cao's forehead
Cao Cao: R-red?! Eh, uhm?! blushes even more
Xiahou Dun: Well, if you don't feel well you should take a rest.
Cao Cao: Y-yeah… (Dammit, what the hell was that?! Guh…maybe Dun's right. I definitely need a rest. Hrmgh…)
Elsewhere…
Guo Jia: Oy, Jia Xu!
Jia Xu: Eh? Oh, it's you. What is it?
Guo Jia: Oh, nothing particular. It's just…ehm…
Jia Xu: …hmm?
Guo Jia: Umm…if you have any spare time…would you like to…you know…eh, uhm…
Jia Xu: …what? Go out drinking again like your usual drunken self? I'll pass. I have MUCH better things to do, being stuck here with the thick mist outside…
Guo Jia: Eh, no! It's just…well, maybe we can talk in private…you know…just the two of us.
Jia Xu: raises eyebrow …just between the two of us?
Guo Jia: Y-yes.
Jia Xu: ….
Guo Jia: ...um…
Jia Xu: …okay, let me think about it.
Guo Jia: O-okay! I'll be thankful if you comply! S-see you later! runs away
Jia Xu: …huh. Okay. (Well, now THAT was weird. Since when did he suddenly become so shy like this? Normally, if he wanted me alone with him then he would've pretty much dragged me all the way to his room. But now…tch, well it's Guo Jia, whaddaya expect…)
Later…
Cao Cao: …oh! Dunnie, here you are!
Xiahou Dun: Oh? Uhh…okay? What is it?
Cao Cao: Oh, nothing…I just like to see you being alive and well.
Xiahou Dun: Oh, well. Thanks for your concern.
Cao Cao: Yeah….hrgh….umm…you know, you look lovely today.
Xiahou Dun: widens eyes ….what?
Cao Cao: Eh, uhm… (Shit! Did I, did I really just say that?!)
Xiahou Dun: What did you just say to me, cousin?
Cao Cao: Eh, uhrm, nothing, NOTHING!
Xiahou Dun: ….you know, you're REALLY beginning to concern me.
Cao Cao: Gah, erm…guh, what?! hugs Xiahou Dun from behind
Xiahou Dun: WAAAHHHH! CAO CAO, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
Cao Cao: I, I DON'T KNOW! My body moved on its own!
Xiahou Dun: How the hell is that even possible?! Argh, let! Me! GO!
Cao Cao: I…CAN'T!
Xiahou Dun: What do you mean you can't- ….
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" *SMACK!*
Cao Cao: OUCH! THAT HURT!
Xiahou Dun: You….WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!
Cao Cao: Look, I don't know, I truly don't-
Xiahou Dun: You, YOU CLEARLY GROPED MY DICK! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Cao Cao: Dun, please, listen….I….I have no idea why I did this, I…
Xiahou Dun: ….cousin…we've…we've been fighting together for so long, and yet you never revealed that you have those kinds of feelings towards me!
Cao Cao: I DO NOT!
Xiahou Dun: THEN WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!
Cao Cao: ….I….
Xiahou Dun: …stay away from me.
Cao Cao: W-wha?!
Xiahou Dun: STAY AWAY FROM ME! runs away
Cao Cao: NOOO! DUNNIE COME BAAAACCCKKKK! …..oh my god, no…why…WHY?!
Later…
Xiahou Dun: Huff, huff….ah, fuck…what…what's gotten into him?! Hrmf…no, if he's truly had those feelings towards me ever since our days together, hrmf….
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Xiahou Dun: What was- GLKH!
Jia Xu: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Guo Jia: Come on! Why are you running away?! COME TO MEEE!
Jia Xu: NOOOOOOOOOOO! STAY AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEEEE! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
Xiahou Dun: What the fuck?!
Jia Xu: GAAAAHHH! Please, PLEASE GET HIM AWAY FROM MEEEE!
Xiahou Dun: W-what?! What the hell is happening?!
Jia Xu: He tried to rape me!
Xiahou Dun: Rape?!
Guo Jia: Oh, come on now, 'rape' is such an ugly word, isn't it?
Jia Xu: THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS! STAY AWAY FROM ME!
Xiahou Dun: Eh, umm…oh, hey Guo Jia, I think our lord might have some problems right now, maybe you could help him out?
Guo Jia: Lord Cao Cao? Umm….okay! walks away
Jia Xu: Pant…pant…
Xiahou Dun: …so we have the same problem here, huh?
Jia Xu: What do you mean?
Xiahou Dun: Well…Cao Cao has actually been acting strange whenever he sees me, and, well…my fears came true when he groped my dick.
Jia Xu: What the fuck?! He did THAT to you?!
Xiahou Dun: I know. It's really disturbing…but the weird part is that he said that his body moved on its own!
Jia Xu: Holy shit…well, Guo Jia was also trying to do the same to me…
Xiahou Dun: Did he do it, you know, voluntarily?
Jia Xu: Seems so…what has caused this?
Xiahou Dun: I'm not so sure. Especially weird because both Cao Cao and Guo Jia are always looking for women…
Jia Xu: I know. It's worrying…are there anyone else here who's been affected by this?
Xiahou Dun: No. It seems to only be limited to those two…for now, at least.
Jia Xu: Okay. Well, from now on we have to be more careful around those two, while we try to find out what has caused all of this and try to fix it, you got it?
Xiahou Dun: But what the hell makes you think I would want to work with YOU?
Jia Xu: Because we're the only ones who know about this! Look, we can't let this leak out to the others, inside AND outside of this kingdom. We have to keep it and work in secret!
Xiahou Dun: Well, you got a point, but…
Jia Xu: Trust me. We have to work together.
Xiahou Dun: Huff…well, as much as I loathe your fucking guts I guess you're right.
Jia Xu: Good, good.
Meanwhile…
Cao Cao: Huff…no…what was that? No, that can't be happening. First I got flustered everytime I see his face, and now I just sorta subconsciously attempt to have my way with him? No. I already have Pi. This is wrong. That didn't happen. That did not happen! I did not hit on Dun, I did not hit on Dun, I did nooott-
Guo Jia: Hm? Lord Cao Cao?
Cao Cao: Hm? Guo Jia?
Guo Jia: Are you okay? Master Xiahou Dun told me that you got a problem.
Cao Cao: Dun? Ermh….about that….I don't know. I've been acting weird lately, and I don't even know why…
Guo Jia: I see. Well, let's go out to have some fun, then. Maybe that'll cheer you up.
Cao Cao: Right, right.
Now, let us move on to the second-smallest complex, a green-colored one, named the kingdom of Shu.
Zhuge Liang: looks out of a window …whoa? What is this? A mist?
Liu Bei: Zhuge Liang! You're awake!
Zhuge Liang: Oh? Lord Liu Bei?
Liu Bei: You know, there's a really thick mist outside. I could barely see anything!
Zhuge Liang: Yeah…I know…
Liu Bei: Huff…it's a shame. Now we're stuck inside this palace until the mist subsides!
Zhuge Liang: Well, it sucks, but I'm sure we can find other things to do.
Liu Bei: You're right. And hey, besides…. holds Zhuge Liang's hand
Zhuge Liang: …hm?
Liu Bei: …if you're here with me, I'm always happy.
Zhuge Liang: …uhhh…my lord?
Liu Bei: What?
Zhuge Liang: …you look unusually…happy today.
Liu Bei: Oh, didn't I tell you?
Zhuge Liang: Uhhh….right…by the way I need some strategic work to do, so excuse me! immediately runs
Liu Bei: Hey, wait! Why must you be so serious?! Huff…he always takes his duties seriously, even when I tell him to loosen up….ah, that just makes him even more charming…
Later…
Zhuge Liang: Shit…what, what was that?! Never once before did Lord Liu Bei act like THAT! It honestly creeps me out…oh?
Zhao Yun: Hm! Zhuge Liang!
Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun…hey, you're always with Lord Liu Bei all the time, right?
Zhao Yun: Uhh…right?
Zhuge Liang: Here, can you keep an eye on him for me? And perhaps you should be more careful, too.
Zhao Yun: Uhh…why is that?
Zhuge Liang: Lord Liu Bei acted a bit strange earlier. I mean, he just held my hands while talking about how he's always happy everytime I'm by his side!
Zhao Yun: What the?! How is that possible?
Zhuge Liang: I'm not really sure…which is why I ask you to watch over him. And be careful lest he'll make those advances to you, too.
Zhao Yun: Got it.
Later….
Jiang Wei: Prime Minister!
Zhuge Liang: Oh? Jiang Wei?
Jiang Wei: Prime Minister, where is Lord Zhao Yun?
Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun? Uhhh…he's with Lord Liu Bei.
Jiang Wei: Oh, okay. Thank you!
Zhuge Liang: It's unusual that you ask about Zhao Yun.
Jiang Wei: Yeah, I know. There's something I want to show him.
Zhuge Liang: Oh, okay. Hmmm…I smell something fishy here…
Just a couple moments later…
Ma Chao: GAH! Where did that brat go?! Ah, Zhuge Liang!
Zhuge Liang: Eh? What?
Ma Chao: You did see Jiang Wei going down that way, right?
Zhuge Liang: Uhh…yeah.
Ma Chao: Ah, great. Thank you. I'll catch that little rat for sure! Hyah!
Zhuge Liang: …okay, NOW this is becoming worrying….
Suddenly….
"GWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! LET GO OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! GAH! NOOOOOOOO!"
Zhuge Liang: Wha?! The hell….wait a minute, was that?!
Zhao Yun: runs outside while bruised and shredded GWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Zhuge Liang: Zhao Yun?!
Jiang Wei: Come on, Lord Zhao Yun! ACCEPT MY LOVE!
Ma Chao: YOU BASTARD! ZHAO YUN IS MINE!
Zhao Yun: GAH! NO! NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!
Zhuge Liang: …jawdrop
Zhao Yun: ZHUGE LIANG! HELP ME!
Zhuge Liang: Eh?! Umm…oh, let's run that way!
Later….
Zhuge Liang: Huff, huff….Zhao Yun! What happened?!
Zhao Yun: Argh…Jiang Wei…he just suddenly busted in and confessed to me!
Zhuge Liang: Confessed?!
Zhao Yun: Yeah! And then Ma Chao also broke in and the two basically fought over me, causing me to turn like this….
Zhuge Liang: Holy shit….
Zhao Yun: Huff, huff….what, what's happening? First was Lord Liu Bei like you said, and now…
Zhuge Liang: I don't know….I honestly don't know.
Zhao Yun: Eh?! The Sleeping Dragon doesn't know about SOMETHING for once?
Zhuge Liang: Weird, I know. Okay, listen, from now on we DEFINITELY have to be a LOT more careful with the people around here, while trying to solve the problem. You understand?
Zhao Yun: Yes, yes.
Zhuge Liang: Hrmf…this can't be…if it's REALLY true, then we're fucked.
To Be Continued….
Yo, WHAT'S UP! Okay, first of all I have to deeply apologize and am very, very sorry that I wasn't able upload anything a week ago, because I ran out of ideas. But now I'm back with VENGEANCE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA- smacked by Sima Yi OUCH! Well...it's okay! Please leave a review and have a good day!