A loud knock on my door tells me it's time to get up, time to get ready. But I'm not ready, I'm never ready when this day comes, how could anyone be ready for it? I stretch out as far as I can to relieve my cramped joints, this being my normal ritual to fully wake up in the morning. But this is no normal day at all, nor a special day, certainly not a day for celebration. This is reaping day.
I slowly crawl out of bed, still groggy from yet another poor nights sleep. It's the same every year - when the reaping gets to within a couple of weeks away I struggle to sleep for more than a few hours a night. The constant fear that it may be my last month of life is what prevents my body from shutting down and getting much needed rest. But this is my last year! The last time I have to stay awake with worry, the last time I have to see the fear in my mothers eyes the day of the reaping. I can't imagine what that must be like! Hoping every year that your only child will not get picked to go into the devils playground and be butchered live on television. Well she only has to go through it one more time.
I slide into some trousers and a plain shirt, I've got something to do before I get properly ready for the reaping. In the kitchen I find my mother sat at the table, she has a grim look on her face that tells me she's already thinking about it. A weary smile quickly creeps upon her when she see's me. She's not fooling me I know she doesn't feel like smiling.
"Morning sweetie, did you sleep well?" she asks
"No better than last night really, couldn't get my mind to switch off" I reply
"Well it will all be over after today, then you and Amber can start your future together and we can forget all about this day forever" she says now positively radiant.
"I know mum, it will be fine you'll see" I say trying to be enthusiastic as well.
Suddenly the tears fill up in her eyes, she lets out a small howl and then begins sobbing. I run over to her taking her in my arms and giving her a soothing embrace.
"Mum please don't get upset, it will be fine you'll see, I haven't been picked before yet have I?" I say trying to comfort her.
"I know Sky... but your names in there twenty eight times today... I should have never let you take the tesserae... If I lost you I don't know what I would do" she says her voice now shaking.
I pull away from the embrace and look deeply into her scared grey eyes.
"If I hadn't taken the tesserae then we would have starved to death, we've barely managed at times even with it, after today I will be working in the mines and we will be fine, but don't ever blame yourself! You have done everything for me since I was a baby, I've been lucky to have you as a mother"
"Oh Sky.. you always know how to cheer me up, now go on, go see her before you get ready" she says looking more hopeful now.
With that she lets out a genuine smile, making me feel a whole lot better than I did a minute ago. I tell her I'm nipping out and will be back soon to get ready. She just keeps smiling at me as I go out the door, she knows who I need to see.
I walk out onto the streets of the seam - the poorest part of district 12 - where you can starve to death in safety. The grey squat houses are almost derelict in appearance, all giving off a sense of the poverty that every inhabitant faces. It is a fact of life that when you are from the seam you are facing a life of struggle and fear, some people a lot worse than others. You only really have one choice of work - the mines, and the pay isn't amazing, it's just enough for you to get by on. You can't work in the mines until you turn 18 and have gone past your final reaping, after today I will be working in the mines and whilst it's long hours and poor pay its better than my current predicament.
A few houses down is my destination, this is where my heart is, and the person it belongs to. I walk straight in to the house, and there she is stood in the kitchen. A huge smile beams out at me and I reciprocate it straight back. We throw our arms around each other, cocooned in our never ending embrace. Unlike the way I embraced my mother this is not about comfort, this is the way I embrace the girl that I love. We pull away and stare into each other's eyes. I gaze at her beauty in all its delight, her shiny blue eyes look so out of place in the seam where nearly everyone has grey eyes. She says it's also one of the reasons she took to me - the fact that I have bright green eyes apparently made me stand out from everyone else. I run my fingers through her long flowing brown hair, it feels silky smooth as it always does.
"Hey handsome" Amber finally greets me
"Hiya gorgeous how's you" i reply
I haven't seen Amber in four days, she's been off school looking after her sick brother and I haven't wanted to leave my mother at night because of how depressed she gets this time every year. I had to see her today though, just in case it's my last chance, my last moments with her.
"I'm good Sky, how's your mum coping?"
"She's really upset as usual, she just can't seem to handle reaping days, it affects her more than anyone I know and she's not even eligible to get picked" I say with a sly smile and receive a gentle slap on my shoulder.
"Don't be mean, your her only child, of course she gets upset" Amber replies staunchly
"I know I know, it's just hard seeing her like that every year, she even used to get like it when I was young, way before I could get picked" I say now concerned
"Some people just can't handle reaping day Sky, it will be over after today though so don't worry, then we'll both be here for her every year when this day comes"
Amber is also eighteen so this is her last reaping as well. I've never really panicked about her being picked until last year when she turned seventeen, she had six slips with her name on and it was the first time I felt genuine panick for her. But I had to remind myself that there were hundreds of girls with thirty or forty slips with their name on, the odds were definitely in Ambers favour. Today she will have seven slips in the glass ball, still great odds for her compared to lots of other girls. Amber has never needed to take tesserae because her father is the baker in town, he makes enough money to provide for her and her brother so they never have to put their name in more times. Since her mother and father split up she and her brother have lived in the seam with her mother.
"Yeah your right, got to be positive, how's Tyson doing? Any better?"
"I'm always right remember" she says and gives me a light shove and a cheeky smile."And he's still in bed, can't get his fever down, my dad keeps bringing fresh bread though so at least he's keeping his strength up"
"How's he going to get to the reaping at two?" I ask
"There's a peacekeeper coming to confirm he can't get out of bed when my mum gets home, so he won't to have to come hopefully" she says
"Yeah hopefully they let him miss it, he's not even old enough to be a tribute yet anyway"
We talk for a while, I tell her what she's missed at school and give her all the gossip from the district. Then she shows me her dress for the reaping - a modest baby blue one which zips up from the back, she will look stunning in it. I was hoping to go for a walk with her but she doesn't want to leave her brother which I perfectly understand in these circumstances. We embrace for a moment, then I get a long kiss on my lips that makes my heart beat ten times faster. Whenever I kiss Amber I get this tingling feeling in my chest and butterflies fill my stomach, it's something I have no control over and wouldn't want to change. My mum calls it love, she says it was the same for her with my father, but she doesn't like talking about him. He died from blood poisoning before I was born.
I begin walking home from Ambers house, now more than ever looking forward to the future we can have after today is over. Some of the miners begin walking past me having finished their shift - all workers get to finish early due to attendance at the reaping being mandatory for everybody whether your eligible for the games or not. The only reason that allows non attendance to the reaping is being physically unable to get there, like Ambers brother Tyson. Although if your at tribute age, even this doesn't budge with officials and the peacekeepers will put you on a stretcher and wheel you to the square. One of the miners approaches me, I recognise him as a friend of my mother.
"Hello Sky, how's your mother holding up?"
"Hi mr Abernathy, she's okay thanks, a bit shaken but she always is on reaping day" I say
"I know son, she's never enjoyed reaping day since way back when yo... She's just never enjoyed it" he says looking flustered
I look at him puzzled, I could have sworn he lost his voice halfway through his sentence. He sees my confused reaction and breaks the ice.
"It's my lads first year as well today, he wanted to take out the tesserae but I said no chance! I'll provide for you son that's my job not yours, be seeing you in the mines after today as well eh sky?
"Tell him he'll be fine, it's rare a twelve year old gets picked anyway, and his names only in once so there's no chance" i say confidently.
"Will do Sky, you take care and tell your mother I said hello" he says before walking on past me.
I return home to find my mother asleep on the grimy thing we call a couch, she looks so peaceful in sleep, she most likely hasn't been getting much of it either. I know I should eat something but I'm really not hungry, my appetite has totally vanished for the moment. It's eleven and the reaping starts at two, my better judgement says I should try t o get some sleep in case I find myself steaming towards the Capitol in three hours time. The idea of it sends an ice cold shiver down my spine. So I lay down on my decaying hard bed and try to drift off, my mum will wake me up when it's time no doubt. I manage to fall straight off into dream land, not a very pleasant one though - I see my name pulled from the glass ball so I run to Amber and beg her to look after my mother, to never forget me, to know how much she meant to me, then peacekeepers drag me into the justice building and I hear the head game maker - Coriolanus Snow laughing menacingly.
My mother wakes me on cue at one, she's prepared a stew for us and tells me I have to eat it no excuses! I recognise the familiar taste of entrails in the stew, most likely pig from the butchers. Some of district 12s finest cuisine. After i force it down me, my mother tells me to go wash in the water she's prepared for me, I don't argue and do as she says - again realising just how good to me she is. After a quich bath in our standard small tub with ice cold water I'm ready to change for the reaping. It's standard black trousers and a washed white shirt with regular black boots, only the girls are expected to really make an effort for it.
My mother takes one look at me and nearly sobs, I comfort her saying that we will both be back here in an hours time and will never have to face this again. She composes herself and we head off to the square.
when we reach the square it is jam packed as it always is on reaping day, our population in district 12 is approximately eight thousand and everybody is here unless they have special permission not to be. The stage is set up in front of the justice building, I can see our district mayor and our district escort to the games are up there already. This will be the 22nd edition of the hunger games, it's been going on my whole life. It came about from the rebellion and the dark days thereafter, I used to question my mother all the time about those events but she will not talk about them to me and says its best to forget.
I give my mother a last hug, a long one just in case the unthinkable happens, then i sign in and make my way around to the pen for eighteen year old boys. We are right at the front as we are the most likely to be reaped, with twelve year olds right at the back. Mayor Oldenton steps up to the podium and begins his speech on the history of Panen, it's the same boring thing every year without change.
I look across to the eighteen year old girls trying to locate Amber, it doesn't take me long and she catches my eyes looking. She looks absolutely stunning, her slim figure in the glowing dress makes me go warm inside, her hair is long and flowing down past her shoulders. She sends me a radiant smile so I return it and add a cheeky wink which causes her to blush.
The mayor is now going on about the pride of representing district 12 in the hunger games. What pride is this he is referring to? In 21 years of previous hunger games we have not had one winner! I can't even recall ever seeing a district 12 tribute making it into the last five, we are the poorest district and as such are the most unprepared. Although I have heard a story about a tribute from 12 making it all the way to the last two tributes in one of the first games, before my lifetime though so doesn't really help me. Being reaped from district 12 is basically a death sentence.
The mayor has finished his speech and it's time for Lila Heartfire our district escort to draw the names from the two giant glass balls. She steps forward to the podium and says what she says every year for as long as I can remember.
"Happy hunger games, and may the odds be ever in your favour"
The words pass over me, it's some sort of motto that's been around since the very start of the games. But it wears thin after 22 years.
"As always ladies first" Lila booms down the microphone.
she digs her hand in the glass ball with girls names, swirling around and digging with her hand she pulls one out.
There was only one name she couldn't read, one name I cared about, one name that could bring my whole world crashing down!
"Amber Rosebell" she reads out.