It was the first day after their Christmas break when he first saw her at the gate of the school in 8th grade.
He was rubbing his hands together while blowing some warm air into his hands. The snow was deep but sadly not deep enough to delay the start of the school a little more. When he looked up to check for his friends to appear, he saw her walking behind an older woman.
His eyes were fixed on the young girl with the blonde hair, watching how she just looked at the ground with the scarf pulled up high almost like she didn't want to be seen. He frowned a little but shook his head.
Later on, when class was starting, he saw her coming in with the teacher, tugging on her clothes in a nervous manner.
„This is our new student, Emma Swan. Be nice to her", their teacher said and the class nodded, greeting Emma. She sat down a few rows in front of him and he just shook his head, they didn't get many new students.
The procedure was the same as every year, Mrs. Black would make some stupid jokes he never really understood before she forced them to tell everyone about their Christmas vacation and their gifts. He wasn't a fan of it but it stole a couple of minutes from the lesson.
He was drawing nonsense in his notebook, until the new girl was called up to tell her story. It was the first time he looked up and took obvious interest in the conversation that was going on. She stood up a little hesitantly and looked around at the kids staring at her before she told a story about how she and her family had spent Christmas together in the mountains and that she got some nice dolls.
She didn't strike him as a girl that liked dolls very much.
When he saw her for the first time after the Christmas break in 9th grade, she was walking alone into the school, wrapped up in warm clothes, hands deep into her jacket, head down.
She had kept to herself most of the time in school and even though they shared some classes, they never actually talked before. He always wanted to approach her but during their breaks she was gone and after school she was literally running from this place.
He didn't blame her. Kids were mean and as the new girl, they had been picking on her a lot. Saying mean things, spreading rumours.; that died down soon enough but still hurt. There was always the urge to reach out to her but he never really got himself to do it.
Killian watched how she walked through the snow, leaving footprints behind before vanishing in the school building, right before Jefferson clapped him onto his back.
„Ready to tell Mrs. Black about our fantastic Christmas?", his friend asked and Killian just scoffed before following the footprints in the snow.
Their teacher was actually late this time and everyone had been hoping they were able to avoid the yearly sharing of stories. It's not that he hated it or anything, he just wasn't a fan of the rich kids glowing about the new phone or laptop they got while others didn't get that much.
Just like the last time, his head only lifted when he heard her voice. She wasn't nervous anymore but she still flinched under the eyes of the other kids staring at her.
This time she told a story about her family making a family trip to Sweden and how she got a lot of jewlery as a gift.
She didn't strike him as a girl that liked all this expensive jewlery.
In 10th grade the snow wasn't as deep as usual and it was warmer than it had been the last years.
He was waiting at the gate as he always did but this time, Jefferson was running terribly late.
But not only his friend was late, Emma was too. Normally she'd have been here by now, passed by him like he wouldn't exist. They had actually spoken a couple of times during the last year but only because they were assigned to two projects together but even then, she kept working on her part and he on his so they only had to put their notes together at some point.
He had seen that she was slowly becoming friends with Ruby because suddenly, she had turned from a shy girl into someone who's more open to new people. Not more open to him, though.
„Hey, sorry man", Jefferson yelled while running up to him but Killian just shook his head, they were already late anyway, so they didn't hurry.
When they walked into the class, Mrs. Black was scolding them but he didn't really listen, only sat down and put his head on the table.
He didn't listen to the others students telling their stories of their amazing holidays. This year, he hated Christmas. His brother had died only a couple of days before Christmas Eve and it had ripped his world apart. The blue eyes cared more for the snow that was falling outside than anyone else.
Except her. When she spoke up, his head turned again and a small smile was playing on his lips when he saw her golden locks.
This year, she told a story about spending Christmas in the Bahamas because her family wanted to be in a warmer place for once. Her gift was a very expensive prada purse.
She didn't strike him as a girl that was into those kind of purses.
In 11th grade, he was happy that it was finally going to be over soon, he only had to survive one more year. His life would change and he would be able to get out of town, away from his guardian, away from the memories, away from everything.
But also away from her. She stood in front of the school, laughing with her friends while he watched, leaning against the gate and he bit his bottom lip. As soon as Victor and Ruby had become official, they had hung out together more. He had seen her in his freetime. They didn't really talk much but just being close to her made him realize that there was something between them, something that he had missed since his brother died.
He walked past them and the girls waved at him and he waved back before going to his class, sitting down early because for some reason, he was freezing when it wasn't even cold.
The students gathered in, everyone happy to see their friends after the break but also moping because school started again.
When Emma came in, she smiled briefly at him before he sat down.
Mrs. Black was carrying some heavy books inside with Jefferson as her pack mule and he snorted at the sight before they fell into the same old routine as every year.
His head turned before she even spoke up, knowing it was her turn. This year she told a story about how her family had been to New York for the holidays and that she got an exclusive membership for the expensive Tennis club that she liked.
She didn't strike him as a girl that enjoyed Tennis.
In 12th grade he decided to make a difference.
It was their last year together and he and Emma were still balancing between acquaintances and some kind of friends, but over the last year, he had become sure that he was crushing on her.
He wasn't really sure what he was doing, when on Christmas Eve his legs were carrying him into the part of town where she lived. The pretty houses were lit up with bright lights, kids had built snowmen in the yards. He missed the days where he decorated his house with Liam, but ever since his brother's death the lights were out and put way.
He swallowed hard when he realized that he didn't even know where she lived when the cold made him shiver.
Killian roamed the streets, looking into windows to see some families having a nice dinner, others were probably already preparing for the Midnight Mass in Church later, some were probably watching a nice movie.
It was close to Midnight when he saw her sitting on a bench, hands tucked away between her legs to keep them from freezing. He smiled and approached her, the snow under his feet giving him away with the crunching noise so she looked up and frowned when she saw him.
„Killian?", she asked in disbelief and he looked down at her, his hands buried deep in his jacket. „What are you doing here?"
He laughed softly and bit his bottom lip, tilting his head. „The better question is, what are you doing here, Swan."
They were silent and she avoided his gaze, avoided answering him.
For a long while he just looked at her while she was looking down at the snow on the ground while new snow was already starting to fall from above.
„I know you're on the run from Christmas, love", he suddenly said when the silence became too much for him to bear.
Her head turned to him and she swallowed. He could see in her eyes that he was right.
„I know that all those years, ever since you came into town, you didn't get a single present you claimed to get. You didn't spend Christmas in the mountains or in the Bahamas. You probably did what you're doing right now", he told her, watching how she looked back at the ground only to see tears falling into the snow soon enough.
Killian wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, happy that she let him. She put her head on his shoulder and sobbed while he was biting his bottom lip, not sure what to say.
„My foster parents…they don't really care about me. They have their own child to shower with gifts so I choose to get away during Christmas. I can't…I just can't-"
He stopped her with a soft kiss to her lips. At first he thought she might push him away but she just sank into him instead, grabbing the lapels of his jackets more firmly.
„What was that for?", she asked when she pulled away, looking up at him with red and puffy eyes but she just smiled, wiping away a single, stray tear.
„To show you that you're not alone", he answered and leaned his forehead against hers while reaching into his pocket to pull out a little box, wrapped in Christmas paper with a ribbon on it.
Emma looked at him in confusion but he just nodded, placing the box into her hands. „A gift?" She sounded so confused that he just laughed softly, nudging her with his elbow.
„Just open it", he said and grinned at her with his red cheeks, not sure if they were coming from the cold or the kiss.
Her hands were shaking while she was unwrapping the present only to pull out a necklace with a small swan pendant on it. „That's…wow. I mean-"
„Do you like it?" He tilted his head to the side and looked at her, how she was holding the necklace in front of her, her eyes literally glowing with happiness.
„Yes. I love it", she answered and nodded, handing it to him. „Could you?" She turned her back to him, lowering her jacket a little and moving the hair away so he could place it around her neck.
It fit her perfectly and she was smiling so brightly at him that he couldn't stop himself from smiling back.
„That's the first real Christmas present I ever got…", she told him while her fingers were holding tight around the small swan and he smiled even more.
Things were changing and it was a small Christmas Miracle for both of them.
After their Christmas break, he stood at the gate as usual, waiting for his friends to arrive. Jefferson was fashionably late as always but Emma was walking up to him with a smile on her face, followed by placing a kiss on his lips.
After he had found her all alone on Christmas Eve, he had invited her to stay with him. His guardian was gone, he was old enough to take care of himself, and they actually put up some Christmas lights. They didn't have a tree or fancy gifts but they had each other.
She had told him stories about her life and he told her some of his past. They had never talked that much, and yet, it felt like they've been together for a lifetime. She even revealed that she had a crush on him for quite a while and he admitted it back while blushing bright red.
They walked into class hand in hand and Mrs. Black was coming in shortly after them. This time, he actually listened to what the other kids had to tell because no matter what they got, his was better in every way.
His eyes were on her when she spoke up, a huge smile on her face, one that was matching his.
„This year I actually got the best gift I can imagine. A loving boyfriend", she told the class, her eyes finding his, not caring about the 'aw' noises coming from around them and a few boys making gagging noises.
She did strike him as a girl that had always been looking for love.